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Mary Worth, 3/1/23

Uh oh! Looks like Estelle is running into the dark side of dating a hot, animal-saving, ivory-tinkling hunk like Dr. Ed: he has other obligations, like to the animals he has to save, or the ivories he has to tinkle, or whatever. Hey, Estelle, you know who won’t stand you up on a date? Wilbur! He’ll always be there for you, even if you don’t want him to be! Sorry, those are your only two choices, I guess!

Crock, 3/1/23

Every classic comic strip needs to have a longtime married couple who hates each other to remind readers that heterosexual monogamy is a crushing prison, and in Crock that couple is Grossie and Maggot. Usually they just hate each other in a “fun” way, like with quips and such, but their facial expressions in today’s panel let us know that every moment of their existence, in which they’re forced to remain together forever in a strip that will keep going out in reruns indefinitely, is an agonizing one.

Shoe, 3/1/23

Every once in a while I need to remind you, my faithful readers, about the ways in which I suffer for your entertainment and my craft, so I’m going to tell you that my very first instinct upon reading today’s Shoe was to do some online research on whether cloacas have sphincters that allow birds to hold in their poops or if they just have to let it go as soon as it’s ready. Anyway, the material I found was very gross, and the answer is that they can hold it in but not for anywhere near as long as mammals without risking injury so they generally don’t, so yes, Shoe is being literal here, the staff of the Treetops Tribune just let it rip around the office wherever and whenever they need to.