Giving thanks for everyone leaving me the heck alone!!!!
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Six Chix, 11/18/23
One of my all-time favorite activities is to bring a book to a restaurant I really like and enjoy a meal by myself. There’s something about the combination of feeling peacefully alone but also in public with others that’s really great. And, much as I treasure holiday meals with my family, there are some years where the stress of travel makes me dreamily imagine a more solitary Thanksgiving. Which is all to say that I hold no ill will against this woman and totally endorse her holiday plans. But ma’am, you have to admit that your behavior is somewhat out of the ordinary! I don’t think telling the restaurant staff that you’re bringing home leftovers in a doggie bag — for your cat! [record scratch] — is going to faze them at all or make them think less of you. Just lean into it!
Shoe, 11/18/23
Nice try, Shoe. You think I’m going to be so hung up on how nonsensical this punchline is that I’m going to be deterred from my mission of making sure everyone remembers that the Shoe characters are birds, and one of the most important things about birds is that they don’t have lips? Well I won’t be deterred, you hear me? I’m mad about it! So’s Roz! Look how mad she is! As well she should be!
Hi and Lois, 11/18/23
November 1: “Ha ha, my Uncle Beetle is in the Army with a whole bunch of crazy characters!”
November 18: “My poor Uncle Beetle is in the Army and subject to constant physical abuse from his superior officers. Sorry to be such a downer, but it’s so disturbing to me that it’s all I can think about.”
113 replies to “Giving thanks for everyone leaving me the heck alone!!!!”
Shoe: Plus, they don’t have teeth, so they technically can’t bite.
MW:
“It’s healthy to keep active in retirement.”
“Yeah, but I threw out my damned back playing lawn shuffleboard!”
MW:
“The town has a variety of terrain, with beaches for hiking and mountains for swimming. Oopsy! — there I go with one of my patented malpropisms again.”
“It’s one of your endearing quirks!”
6Cx: I honestly get the feeling sometimes that the writers of this strip just start drawing panels about whatever they happen to be thinking about with no joke in mind. “Ah, Thanksgiving alone would be nice…no travel…oh crap, um, uh, a cat isn’t a dog? Sure, that’ll wrap things up.”
Shoe It’s a shame that we don’t see this character more often in this strip: she apparently witnesses things that inspire laughter instead of shock or ennui.
H&L I like the dark silhouette of Hi in the background. Apparently he gets to work out his life’s disappointments through’pancake therapy’.
RMMD: Big talk, Buzzy, from the guy who was effortlessly kidnapped by the runt that you want to liberate.
MW: Oh, goody, I was eagerly awaiting the Public Service part of the conversation.
DtM: Once again, the Mitchells flunk child-proofing.
6CHX: “Companion animal receptacle ” would eliminate any false pretense issues here.
@Pozzo:
Never got bitten by a goose before?
JP: Does CIA Lady have anterograde amnesia or something? Why can’t she comprehend this extremely simple information? Come on! Remember Sammy
JenkinsDriver!RMMD: “For God’s sake, Mud, I’m aging 100 times faster than normal! I was young and blond a few months ago, and look at me now! We can’t wait on this, I’ll be dead of old age by Chinese New Year!”
MW: It’s possible that this moronic conversation is Keith and Kitty’s lame attempt at double entendre—especially with that suggestive reference to horseback riding. However, this being Mary Worth, it’s more likely that Keith is only reciting from the Chamber of Commerce publication, “Santa Royale and You: A Guide to Local Activities” whereas Kitty is spewing some advice she recently picked up from her AARP magazine.
H&L: Ditto knows that his Uncle Beetle is a cartoon character, and thus that he himself is?
Six Chix Outside of comic strips, does anybody say “doggybag” anymore? I eat at restaurants a decent amount, and in my experience servers anymore just casually say “Want a takeout container”. Any pretence that the food is for a pet is long gone. The average “pet parent” probably wouldn’t feed leftovers to an animal anyway.
Six Chicks: Human food and cats — bad move. It’s going to be a memorable weekend.
Chix (sic): Methinks she should just order a smaller meal.
H&L: Come-on, Hi. Make the kid a decent looking pancake. It’s not his fault he looks like his father.
FC: Many cities no longer have printed newspapers, not to mention newspaper carriers. When will the melonheads leave the Keane Kompound and be shocked by the real world? Time to join the 21st century!
Six Chix: The second this woman feeds her cat food from the doggy bag, SWAT will bust down her door and shoot her dead. She thought she could get away with breaking the law, but nobody beats the law.
Shoe: My only comment I can think of is that this bird lady who apparently doesn’t know she’s a bird looks like Bea Arthur’s fursona.
Hi And Lois: Haha! Its funny because this child has violent fantasies about his uncle suffering horrific pain that he projects onto everything!
6C: Enjoying a meal alone isn’t pathetic, and being close to your pet isn’t pathetic. But I feel like going up to the maîtresse d’ to tell her unasked about your plans to spend Thanksgiving alone with your pet, and still lying to her because you’re ashamed of the details… well, that kind of pushes it over the edge.
FC-Unfortunately this two week attempt to drum up support for newspapers has resulted in more newspaper subscription cancellations.
MW-“I plan to go horseback riding.” In her apartment Mary very eagerly perks up and pulls a saddle out of her closet.
JP-What we have is a comic strip less funnier than ‘SOAP’ and is twice as insane.
@The Rambling Otter: More like an attack than a bite.
Hi and Lois – Dot: “Wait, Uncle Beetle is a cartoon character? Doesn’t that mean that WE…”
Ditto: “Eh, it’s no big deal. If I were you I’d be more worried about the phalanx of Disney copyright lawyers who are about to come down on you like a ton of bricks.”
6C: Look at this scathing indictment of the American restaurant industry! Also, that hostess doesn’t care about your life, lady. She’s trying to get you out of there so the restaurant can cycle in more consumers.
Shoe: “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten the chocolate lip plumper.”
HnL: It looks like Hi has made it abundantly clear which child is his favorite.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Uh-oh! Don Abundio is sleepwalking! I hope he doesn’t wake up”
“Last time this happened we woke up walking in the park…”
“And he deducted it from my vacation time!”
Luann: Imagine trying to chart the cause-and-effect of the past few weeks of Luann. I doubt even – no, especially the Evanses themselves could do it. They have no idea what they’re doing.
Bets’ decision to close her Instagram account is the perfect example. Because of the photo Stef uploaded (seemingly directly to Bets’ live stream, somehow?), some people were making negative comments about poor, innocent Gunther. Bets’ logic? Delete her Insta, the bad people go away, problem solved.
What a mindboggling misunderstanding of the internet and humanity.
Remember, Bets and Gunther are canonically a prominent social media couple, which means they are a bigger potential target beyond their own regular niche audience. Prior to Bets’ decision, it was just a handful of random trolls in a live chat overreacting to an innocuous picture. All Bets had to do was say, “Chill, guys, she’s a mutual friend,” and optionally cap it by uploading an amicable photo of the three of them together. The issue would have died in its crib; it was, after all, just a picture of Gunther standing next to someone at a party, and nothing more.
But now? Now the narrative is “Confirmed: Gunther cheated on Bets so hard that she had a breakdown and deleted herself from the internet.” Now it’s juicy celebrity gossip, a ripe harvest for every drama-farming content creator on the internet to run wild with. For the foreseeable future, people will be talking about it, making memes, and mocking both of them. Instead of Gunther being protected, he’s going to be subject to intense harassment. And it will never really go away, either; if Bets wants to make a return to online cosplaying or online whatever, the cuckquean label will follow her, and ditto for Gunther as the cheater.
The only saving grace is that the people writing these idiot characters are so cartoonishly out of touch with reality that they think handling social media fallout really is as simple as “Just delete your Facebook, bro.”
Frazz: Awwww, that’s so nice. As she’s bleeding out from the shotgun wounds, she’s gonna be all, “Sorry you didn’t get your deer. Ded.”
Luann: She. Gave. Up. Her. Livelihood. For. Gunther.
This strip would have been immensely improved if it had ended with Luann shrieking, “I’M GOING SKYDIVING!!!”
CS: Remember the hilarity of Crankshaft shooting his grill into space? Do you? DO YOU???
Hi and Lois: That silhouette looks less like Hi and more like Camp Swampy’s Chaplain. Maybe he’s Dot and Ditto’s real father, after all I never recall Dot ever calling Hi “Daddy”
9CL: Yep, that was a thing Brooke illustrated.
Zits: He just had knitted-hat-with-sleeves sex with Sara. Let him have a moment to recover, Connie!
FC: This must be a dream. There’s no way Jeffy would sit there studiously reading the paper. Half of it would be crammed into his gob by now.
MW: “A variety of terrain?!?” Who says that? Is Kitty giving intel to Keith before he launches his ground assault?
Shoe: There is a trope called “Furry Lens” where fiction has animal characters, but never refer to them as animals, we only SEE them as animals but otherwise they’re intended to be human. Probably to make it more kid appealing or whimsical or whatnot.
Sanrio on Hello Kitty outright admitted this. “She’s not a cat, she’s just a little girl who looks like a cat”
I NORMALLY would say this for Shoe… except…. https://joshreads.com/images/08/05/i080511shoe.jpg
Six Chix – The monologue continues… “And technically I’m still spending Thanksgiving with my family! They’re just buried under the floor in the basement!”
@The Rambling Otter: Being a bird, he probably should avoid the expression “I’m game.”
MW – Could this conversation be any more banal? Yes. They could start talking about how great dogs are.
6C: Can you imagine her embarrassment if they found out the leftovers were for a cat? She’d never be able to show her face again at that classy pay-up-front restaurant with “THANKSGIVING SPECIAL” slathered on the window with shoe polish.
@jroggs: Give Bets a break. After all, as a black female cosplaying posting in the Elon Musk era, this is the first time she’s ever dealt with negative online commentary (insert an eye roll so intense it starts to affect the tides.)
She’ll be in fine company since the Trufans (who, as you might recall this arc is critically satirizing with all the repressed ire it can muster for the sin of being a dedicated fanbase invested in the story, the bastards!) don’t appear to know how the internet works either, despite, you know, using it (they seem to be cheering Bets on since they also think deleting her account Solves Everything…even deleting Stef’s pic of her phone somehow since, you know she’s the one who posted it in the first place.)
@The Rambling Otter:
No, but I one got goosed by a duck as a child
HI and Lois-“Mine looks like a legal notice from the Disney Corporation.”
Six Chix-Sadly her meal was terrible because she only ordered food that wouldn’t kill the cat.
Luann-“50/50 still makes a hundred, right?” Yes it does, Luann. Very good. *pats her head” Have a sugar cube.
Hi and Lois: I thought that this strip looked familiar, so I checked the archives, and indeed, there is an almost identical version from 2018.
EXCEPT!
In the older strip, it says “Beetle Bailey” where the newer strip says “Uncle Beetle”! And the “Uncle Beetle” makes Ditto’s “maybe” response to Dot’s “Did he make you a cartoon character?” question even more unsettling, because as far as I can tell, the only way it makes any sense is if they know they’re cartoon characters — not just as a side gag that leans on the fourth wall for nerds like us who know that bit of trivia, as it was in 2018, but as the primary joke of the strip.
Possibly I shouldn’t be surprised, since their mother was called a cartoon (to her face!) by another comic strip character, although I figured that was non-canon since it happened in a different strip.
Family Circlejerks – The melonheads better remember that they have to also collect for the paper. That was kind of fun since you were putting money in your pocket. Also, sometimes women answered the door while scantily clad. (And no, I never had one of those “So you say you don’t have enough money to pay me?” experiences). Wonder what will happen when they go to collect, and Thel answers the door while in a bikini. Better, I guess, than if HTT Grandma opens the door clad in a frilly bra and panties. If that doesn’t finish off the dead tree industry, nothing will.
@Rube: We say “to-go box.”
Pibgorn-Hiyo!
9CL-A handy in the featureless white void.
9CL-Translation: “Why doesn’t my daughter jerk me off in public?”
H&L – Today’s strip is undoubtedly a quiet acknowledgement of The Mouse’s 95th birthday. The reason I know that is because of all the celebrities to share a birthday with, I got stuck with an animated megalomaniacal rodent. And Richard Burton. Oh well…
You’re focusing on the lip thing? These are birds that appear to have human breasts! Which makes me wonder if these birds also have a uterus and do they lactate and then of course how are they reproducing sexually! The lip thing is not what I’m worried about here.
MW:
“Terrain in bane stalls mainly on the strain.”
— Eliza Doolittle, “My Fair Lady” (adapted)
6C: Meanwhile the poor hostess who has to work on Thanksgiving Day bravely maintains an expression of neutral politeness in the customer’s laughably clumsy attempt to make conversation.
H&L: So….do the characters in Hi and Lois know they’re cartoons? Or is “cartoon” a recognized racial category in their world, like the Toons in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Is Ditto trying to put a brave face on the fact that his dad obviously loves his sister more?
MW:
“I plan to go horseback riding at Piccadee Falls. My trusty roan will become unnerved by the sound of the rushing water and we will careen headlong into the torrent, plummeting to our demise in the roiling, murky depths below!”
“Sounds like fun!”
New theory here. Could the birds in Shoe possibly be from a living in an Island of Dr Moreau situation? Could it be that they were once human but were experimented on and have been turned into freakish bird people? That would explain a lot and also make the comic a lot more interesting.
@cheech wizard: Happy Birthday!
RMMD:
“Buzzy, I’d like to do a crossover comic strip concept album that focuses on Mary Worth characters Keith Hillend, Tommy the stockboy, Ian Cameron and Dawn Weston.”
“Does it have a workng title?”
” ‘Meaty, Beedie, Pig and Flouncy’ !”
C’shaft Have you ever started to write something, decided to go back and rephrase it, then realized you’d left part of your original phrasing in the sentence and now it looked completely awkward and nonsensical? Don’t know why I thought of that just now.
Dustin: “Also, why is a food court your go-to for a cheap date? You’re elder Gen Z; shopping malls have been abandoned wastelands for your entire life span.”
JP: “You can’t do this to me! I’m a rich white man!”
Luann: So, Bets just ended what was implied to be a highly successful cosplay feed because of a few mean comments (and not a racial slur, graphic sexual comment, or threat of bodily harm among them)? Does she have sponsors? A Patreon? Con appearances? There is certainly a great deal to critique about social media influencers, but first you have to know anything about how social media influencers operate.
And of course we’re framing this as Bets leaving because she’s decided Gunther deserves better. Because somehow this dork in his BFG sandwich board who makes the men of 9 Chickweed Lane look like paragons of masculinity is the most eligible bachelor in the world.
MT: Aren’t suburban HOA-board types usually a little better at socializing than this?
MW: Living where I do I run into a lot of retired military, and few of them in their 40s-50s are retired retired. A lot of them have established their own businesses, or are putting their GI Bill-funded education to use. Maybe Keith and Kitty are AARP models who have escaped confinement: old enough to be recognizably “mature” but young-looking enough that people who are eligible for AARP don’t feel so bad about it. They certainly talk like it.
Phantom: “Unless I happen to run into the man who enslaved me as a child while visiting Kit in some remote Himalayan town, but what are the odds of that?”
Why is Hi and Lois so intent lately by reminding everyone they’re part of the Walker-Browne Comic Strip Universe? Are they going to start appearing in Beetle Bailey? Will time travel shenanigans bring Hagar the Horrible into this? Is the risky use of Mickey Mouse an attempt to sell it all off to Disney or will the Disney lawyers sue them into oblivion? So many questions from two plates of pancakes.
@cheech wizard: Don’t forget the Professor (from Gilligan’s Island).
6ix Chix: I feel confident that Saturday Chik owns a cat, maybe multiple cats. She might be a Cat Lady, for all I know. Still, she is living in a fantasy world unconnected to our own, if she believes a cat, any cat, even her bestest ever cat, will respond to anything involving her with more than polite indifference. That is, until the food is actually placed in front of it, whereupon it will eat rapidly as though having been starved purposely, then turn its back on Saturday Chik and sashay off to find a quiet corner where it’s not supposed to pee, and pee.
MW – “I hope to go horseback riding one of these days. There’s a sturdy mare I’ve been eyeing that I’d like to mount soon. Mind if I take a look at your teeth?”
FC – Holier than thou Grandma isn’t with the rest of the family because she’s engrossed in the gossip columns. Of course, she’s judgmental while she reads them. “That Swift trollop! And those Kardashian harlots!”
Wait until she learns to use a computer and discovers TMZ. I hope she has smelling salts at hand.
Rex Morgan – Beatty has the same understanding of show biz agents as Marciuliano has of undercover agents. However, Beatty has the edge because he doesn’t grasp medical issues either.
Let me get this straight. You have a proven success with the Li’l Fergus cartoons. Instead of milking it now before the kids move on to something else, you’re going to shelve the cartoon and throw all your energy into a half assed infomercial business. Maybe Fergus should go back to Buck Wise.
Bliss – Guest starring Thel Keane.
6Chix – I can’t imagine why Pussypack never caught on.
AC: Chalkie may have a future subbing for Gil Thorp.
DT: The great detective brain that brought us “I think the killer washed their teacup at Ms Caxton’s house to hide the fact they were there!” has another flash of criminological genius with “I think this sequence of oddly similar deaths is the work of a serial killer!” Tomorrow, he’ll realise “I think the killer stashed the body of Professor Manitus in a trunk to prevent it being found!”
FG: I mean, technically they are doing some ariel surveying, they’re just surveying specifically for Prince Baran.
JP: Okay, I’ve apparently reached the point where CIA Lady can say to Sam “The important thing is you give us the information, and we’ll worry about how you know and whether it’s accurate later!” and I’m just like yeah, sure, whatever gets us through this faster.
Phantom: Is this the first time we’ve been told Kit’s monastary is in India? I’m pretty sure up to now it’s just been “the Himalayas”, and I’ve vaguely assumed it was in Tibet, but the writer was shying away from actually saying so to avoid making it political.
Pluggers: A bit of patience, Andy! Billy hasn’t even left the Kompound yet!
@I speak Jive: Rex Morgan – Beatty has the same understanding of show biz agents as Marciuliano has of undercover agents. However, Beatty has the edge because he doesn’t grasp medical issues either.
But Ces doesn’t understand legal ones. No score draw.
@Unca Bob: No, but I one got goosed by a duck as a child
One time at a restaurant we goosed the cook, which cooked our goose.
9CL – I guess a ballerina could achieve that pose, even if she had to retire from ballet because of a badly damaged knee.
Frazz – No, he’s right.
I’m very surprised that Susie Jerkins is so concerned about interfering with hunters.
When we lived in a rural area I used to dread deer hunting season. We wore blaze orange hats when we walked from the house to the car in the driveway. I am not against hunting per se, but sometimes when a hunter sees a deer, all sense disappears.
@Horace Broon: Yeah, you’re right. However, Rex Morgan occasionally touches on medicine, such as when Rex decided to dabble in surgery a couple of days a week. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember when Judge Parker last had a story about the law. It’s been this spy nonsense for quite a while.
Crankshaft: Have you ever suspected that Tom Batiuk has a huge slush file of random strips based on his running gags that he rifles through whenever he runs out of new ideas? Provided as evidence: today’s knee-slapper from the “grilling disaster” category, presented months after Labor Day for no other explicable reason.
MW: Just got a call from Sid – he said to check out Mary Worth today. The male guest star is planning to go Horseback riding – one of these days. He wanted to know if I might be interested…
Of course I’m hoping to reprise my Prince Valiant role of Morgan’s Horse, or maybe create a new character as Future Queen Ingrid’s Horse. Sid *claims* to be working on that, but I may have to eventually use my own connections there. I dunno about this possible Mary Worth role…. Sid has said these new two-leggers don’t really deserve to have a Dog, so why would he expect me to allow one of them on my back? How much does that guy weigh, anyhow?
Well, I may as well have him put my name into consideration – always good to have a back-up plan. And I’d better get my “back up” into condition to carry a heavy load! I’ll start looking into heavy-duty saddles with extra cushioning and support. I wonder if that guy has ever been on a Horse….
@Rube: Ages ago I heard it referred to as a Bowser bag, but not for years.
Now I just ask for a box.
@cheech wizard: Happy birthday!
JP:. This woman’s persistence and obtuseness makes her Public Enemy #1 in Parkerverse. She’s aligning everyone but Alan to side with April. NOT a good look for CIA recruitment video.
Phantom:. This shower scene may look like a repeat of Mozz’s vision but it’s not. In vision, Phantom had refused to release Savarna from Gravrlines until she had made that promise. Here, she comes up with it on her own.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Do you think the melonheads will go missing–and end up on the sides of milk cartons (just as was the case in the 1980s when so many newspaper carriers disappeared)?
@I speak Jive: The closest thing to a recent mention of the legal system was when Judge Oxy told his colleagues on the bench that he was being manipulated by the cartels to deliver favorable verdicts, and they told him that they didn’t believe him or care unless he had a dead family to show off. As for the main characters, over two years ago Sam invited Alan to join his law firm in fighting the mayor’s heavy-handed evictions. Then Abbey’s barn hotel burned down and Sam’s team-up with the OG JP was forgotten forever. I have no idea how long it’s been since a courtroom was seen in anything other than a one-panel recap of off-page events.
The Phantom-To make your mind off of the unending boring story here is some fanservice.
Between Friends: Canada nice. A US CEO would say that the Paris transfer is off unless Maeve convinces Helen to stay with no extra pay.
H&L: Interesting that Ditto is conscious of his mother’s little brother being a cartoon character, potentially even seeing the daily Beetle Bailey strips as family updates. Quite disturbing that Hi seems to be forcing him to relive every Sarge-Beetle beating. Leave the kid out of your weird in-law issues.
6C: “Leftover Police. We’ve had reports that you referred to your extra portions as a doggy bag when they are, in fact, a kitty bag. Ma’am, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to come with us.”
9CL: There’s no joke and I honestly couldn’t tell you who this couple are supposed to be. Just spread legs and a flying impractical shoe. If there’s such a thing as the platonic ideal of a Brooke strip, this is it.
C-Shaft: But apparently before calling NASA he warmed up the grill by frying an egg. A fried ostrich egg, I guess, since moa are extinct.
Crock: It’s just within the realm of possibility that a reader might misunderstand the such-as-it-is joke and complain about anti-German slurs, but it would require someone to admit to reading Crock.
DtM: When Dennis committed his vision of his friend Joey McDonald as the Snow Miser to painted plaster he knew that genius is very rarely appreciated in its own time.
DT: Are you telling me that the murders of five interconnected people are a series? What would the Neo-Chicago PD ever do without Dick?
JP: It looks like what Sam Driver has is a fart he’s trying to hold in while the scary lady bureaucrat is in the room.
MT: Yeah, I’m with the squirrels on this one.
Phantom: Savarna will start going door-to-door asking people if they’ve heard of Our Lord and Savior, the Phantom.
@taig:
One handed too!
@Just John: On one hand, HAR!
On the other hand, my cats never did get the polite-indifference memo, and trying to get work done with all of them insisting on petting and lap time and play time is a challenge. Unfortunately, they definitely got the memo about peeing.
@taig: Even conservation-geek friends and I don’t talk about “a variety of terrain.” The worst we might do is “varied terrain,” and only occasionally. MARY WORTH dialogue is like nothing I’ve ever read anywhere else. That’s one reason I just can’t quit you, Mary Worth.
@Poteet:
Thank you for ensuring that my humble submission obtains some reflected glory next Friday when your post is highlighted as today’s #69.
LUANN: Run after her, Gunther! Take her in your strong manly, okay, XY arms, and tell her you’ll go with her! And then do it, and both of you go somewhere distant (Quebec?) to live a happy life where we’ll never ever have to see you or hear about you again!
@Consul, the Almost Human: Oh, the CEO can’t just up and cancel the Paris transfer. Imagine the poor French executive, sitting in his Seine-side apartment with the view of the Eiffel Tower from every window, mourning the loss of his six-month bask in the earthly paradise that is Toronto.
“J’attendais vraiment avec impatience la poutine…” he moans softly.
H&L:
“Daddy made me a pancake that looks like Mickey Mouse!”
“He made me one that looks like a dick going into a butthole….”
Shoe: When visiting a friend at the nursing home and enjoying a meal together in the community dining room, why does Roz have to sit in a wheelchair too? Also, why do birds have nursing homes?
@Just John: It is I who should thank YOU, kind sir, and I do, for providing a good excuse to talk about my cats. (They award credit points, and I need more this week.)
@Just John: @Poteet: At this point I’ll settle for nearly any depiction of pet behavior so long as they’re not doing group yoga.
@Ukulele Ike:
Wouldn’t lower-level Parisian execs would have death commutes from the suburbs like in NYC, London, and SF? If he does show up perhaps there will be an arc where he has language problems when visiting Quebec.
Shoe: Isn’t that just Henrietta Beak in a wig?
CS: You’d think that Pam and that eunuch husband of hers would’ve read Ed the riot act by now and forbade the senile bastard from being within a hundred feet of any container of flammable liquid. School bus drivers are usually responsible for refueling their buses at the terminal. I’m surprised he hasn’t blown the place up yet.
MW: I’d say that Keith is 50 at the most. He’d need at least 20 years of service to retire from the US military with a pension and another 20 on the police force. Are the Marines now signing up 10 year olds or are they still using drummer boys?
Who had Ditto in the “Which Hi and Lois Character Will Be First To Become Self Aware And Acknowledge They Are Cartoon Characters Pool” ? I had Mr Waverly, I figured their 2-D transformation was the result of some failed UNCLE experiment.
@I speak Jive:
re RMMD: Buzzy has been in cahoots with Rene for a long time. lil fergus was just a gimmick to suck Mud into the inner circle of the Mirakle Method. That’s where the big bucks are. They are going to scam everyone’s gramma and grandpa and clean up. When the gig is up, Rene and Buzzy are going to skip town and leave Mud holding the bag. After a trial and Mud doing some time, THEN he will go back to Buck and to roots country. The whole purple gang will be on a swingset.
Mary’s Worst: “I intend to leave a good looking corpse .I’ve arranged to have a lawyer at the viewing to re-trademark my butt.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
: Leftover Police.
_________________
Leading to the hit movie “The Naked Salmon Square!: From The Files of Leftover Police Squad!”
and the sequels “Salmon Square 33 1/3: Won’t Anyone Eat This Thing?” and “Salmon Square 4: Score and Seven Squares Ago.”
@Garrison Skunk: It’s a shame Leslie Nielsen didn’t live long enough to make this one. Or not.
@Garrison Skunk: #82: Before p0rnstar John Holmes died he instructed his wife that before cremation she was to inspect his nude body before they put him in the oven. He wanted to make sure that his famous schlong didn’t end up in a jar of formaldehyde on some creepy collector’s curio shelf.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Wonder what will happen when they go to collect, and Thel answers the door while in a bikini.
___________________________
Jeffy will suggest they open The Family Dairy.
@jroggs: Sounds good! I’ll add “or willingly sitting near Wilbur when he is singing.”
@cheech wizard: #39: Happy birthday! In honor of old Dick Burton go get roaring drunk, then steal a paunchy movie actress from her pop singer husband.
@Rube: #10: A friend of ours who was married to an Australian and lived in the Land of Oz for a number of years said that when dining out down under asking for a doggy bag or a take-home container was a social no-no. Any uneaten food was to be left on the table.
@Guillermo el chiclero: On MW I have given up following this nonsense, but it’s been bothering me from the beginning that this young looking man is retired from both the military and the police. Moy just wanted to pile on his being “The Man” without thinking through how it would work.
Late Thread Cuisine: I have no words.
rmmd omg buzzy think the merkle method worked too well on you your now acting like renee including losing the streaming source of the little fergus cartoon. time for mudd to go beg buck to be his agent again. luann ahh how nice gunther didn’t just let betts walk away without trying to clear the air and now with luanns help maybe he and betss can start maybe a new chapter of still being a couple or now just friends. or team up and put steph in her place now
H&L: It looks like more of a flyswatter than a spatula to me. Not surprising Hi messes up a few pancakes.
@Guillermo el chiclero: “…a jar of formaldehyde on some creepy collector’s curio shelf.”
Sounds like a setup for a Sfx mystery.
// “Why does Slylock suspect that the Creepy Count is an untruther?”
@Baja Gaijin: “in the summer, a light supper for 4 or 6.”
Oh, I think you could serve 12 to 24 with that, and still have leftovers. A reminder why the Ruskies are our archenemy.
6Chx: In Josh’s edit (above) Saturday Chick is sitting alone in the restaurant, which makes the fact she’s having her holiday dinner in a pay-up-front restaurant with “Thanksgiving Special” slathered on the window in shoe polish even more pathetic. In the full cut, there are at least a couple other people eating their sad, sad meal in there.
@Baja Gaijin: Oh, I am not the target audience for that dish.
@Baja Gaijin: Your guests can eat a volcano, drink a volcano, and a short time later turn into human volcanoes!
@Baja Gaijin: Barf.
@The Rambling Otter: Thanks. Now I won’t be able to sleep for weeks without thinking of the Perfesser taking a big, fat dump on my car.
@94 Arabella: It needs sliced green olive eyes.
@96 taig: Who is the target audience? Dagwood Bumstead? Jeremy Zits?
@97 Peanut Gallery: Maybe it’d be more appetizing covered in tomato aspic.
@98 I speak Jive: Barf? It looks like what Junebizzle referenced in comment #99: a big fat dump from The Perfessor in Shoe. Great, now I’ve grossed myself out.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m going to guess Russian Oligarchs.
Six Chix – I feel like this comic is going to need to be paired with an article about THANKSGIVING FOOD THAT WILL KILL YOUR PET. I expect at some point someone will sue a restaurant for not warning that food in doggies bags are not doggie safe.
Shoe – Why do I feel like this was a submission to Pluggers that got mixed up on the Google docs idea sheets? Granted, they might have used Henrietta Beak and still had the same issue.
Hi and Lois – Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC is signaling to investors that they are ready to create a cinematic universe to replace the oversaturated Marvel/Star Wars universes. This comic is proof they can go dark and moody as well as lighthearted fare of the first entry.
@Philip:
The Godiva™ chocolate covered Turkey breast was delicious, but not for your woofer!
@Junebizzle:
@The Rambling Otter: Thanks. Now I won’t be able to sleep for weeks without thinking of the Perfesser taking a big, fat dump on my car.
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Birdie you can turd my car/ guess you’re a comic strip star/birdie you can turd my car/ and birdie I’m aware you exist. Poop poop and poop poop yeah!”-Paul McCartney (adapted)
@Junebizzle:
@The Rambling Otter: Thanks. Now I won’t be able to sleep for weeks without thinking of the Perfesser taking a big, fat dump on my car.
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Birdie you can turd my car/ guess you’re a comic strip star/birdie you can turd my car/ and birdie I’m aware you exist. Poop poop and poop poop yeah!”-Paul McCartney (adapted).
Thanks for the good wishes, guys!
@The Rambling Otter:
Never got bitten by a goose before?
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Goosed by a goose?
@Scudder like you mean it:
@Guillermo el chiclero: “…a jar of formaldehyde on some creepy collector’s curio shelf.”
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The creepy collector’s curio shelf is coming to store you away
Coming to store you away, coming to store you today. – The Rutles, “Tragical History Tour”
@cheech wizard:
Happy birthday!
“Please place these Tender Vittles® in a take out bag,they’ll make a fine Meow Mix™for my pet who is definitely not a cat.”
True story. Our family went out to eat one Thanksgiving, or maybe it was Mother’s Day, when I was very young, and my mother asked for a doggie bag. I was excited and exclaimed: “Oh boy! We’re getting a dog!”
@Pozzo: Apparently you never had the displeasure of crossing paths with an angry goose.