Do the bird-people’s tree(?)-houses have roofs?
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Shoe, 11/24/24
If I told you to imagine a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, you’d probably think, “Wow! Can’t get duller than that!” Well, what if I told you to imagine two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed? Even duller, right? Thankfully, today’s Shoe artists have tried to fight against the tide, by showing you two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, but you’re seeing them from an angle directly above them for some reason, like you’re sneaking into their house via the HVAC ducts as part of some sort of elaborate heist.
Beetle Bailey and Blondie, 11/24/24
I feel like I’ve never seen a stronger contrast between the quality of the throwaway panels like we have between these two strips today. The Beetle Bailey panels very efficiently establish how Sunday mornings in the Camp Swampy barracks play out and lay more character groundwork for Beetle and Sarge’s relationship. Blondie’s panels, meanwhile, are as lazy as possible, add absolutely nothing, pure clip art dreck that might as well be replaced by a tire ad. And yet when it comes to actual strip punchlines, Blondie is actually funny for once whereas Beetle Bailey … well, not so much. Life is a rich tapestry!
126 replies to “Do the bird-people’s tree(?)-houses have roofs?”
Mary Worth Mashup: Are these the reactions you’d expect from Mary’s call?
Popeye: Excellent as usual. Great artwork, great wordplay.
Thatababy: Mark Trail as it should be.
Luann: I am so shocked the God of Irony didn’t just strike down Luann’s oblivious self, accusing someone else of being entertaining while doing nothing. On second thought, Luann doing nothing isn’t entertaining. Strike the first sentence please.
MW-As the news quickly spreads. “Mary Worth is sick! We’re free!”
FC-Just like in bed this is one task Mommy will have to do by herself.
Blondie-The gluttony of Dagwood knows no bounds.
MW: Dr Jeff contemplates; “Ingested ricin isn’t typically fatal so when I nurse her back to health maybe she’ll realize she shouldn’t be living on her own. Although at her age it is a bit risky. Hmm, kind of a win/win. (checks NFL.C0M). Who’s playing today?”
Horace Broon – Thanks for the link yesterday on lede vs. lead. I feel somewhat vindicated.
Slylock seems to be staring into two enormous anuses. Or is it anii?
As Charterstone noted yesterday, he has Mary in the Dead Pool. While we would all rejoice if Charterstone should win, we realize that’s probably not going to happen. However, it is an opportunity to review the pool:
Shrug Memorial Dead Pool
jroggs: CIA Lady from Judge Parker
TheDiva: Skunkhead John of the Komix Corner
taig: Wilbur Weston
UncleJeff: Pops from Arlo & Janis
I Speak Jive: Yelich from Judge Parker
Myrtle: Nurse Michelle from Rex Morgan
Enormous Dump: Marvin
Dr. Larry Erhardt: Mike Doonesbury
Arabella: Nonagenarian Horrible Hank Harwood
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: A Random Plugger
Poteet: Dr. Jeff
cheech wizard: Puddles, from Luann
Garrison Skunk: Martha Halftrack, self inflicted, with the General’s personal weapon
Charterstoned: Mary Worth
White Rabbit: Lillian McKenzie, the loathsome hag
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Holier than Thou Grandma
Ukulele Ike: “Chef Meowrice” from the Gasoline Alley Sunday cat food commercials
richardf8: Buck Wise
Late night lurker: Meemaw from Gil Thorp
Avoiding the Madding Crowd: Aldo Kelrast
Hibbleton: Delta from Luann
cs: Crazy Harry
Bravo McGuire: Andrzej “Count Crushinski”
Old School Allie Cat: Jackie’s Small Wonders store in Sally Forth
Fugitive FuzzSequitur: SluggoJust John: Bianca Xunise (the character, not the “artist”)
Uncle Lumpy: Lupin from Breaking Cat News.
Baja Gaijin: Sally Forth’s mother, Laura Jansen.
Dr. Pill: Ralph Meckler
But What Do I Know?: Mud Mountain Murphy (Fergus. . .)
Blondie: Gotta disagree, Josh. Dagwood playing pocket pool in the throw away panels makes the punchline pretty clear. He fucked that cobbler.
Shoe – Well – it’s not like he’s royalty – that would make him Lord Byron….
BB – Geez – I put up with your shit all week – I gotta handle your balls on the weekend, too? I don’t think so….
Blondie – And if it’s not here in 30 minutes or less, it’s free. Otherwise, it’s $14.86…$20 with a tip…welcome to the neighborhood….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Hibbleton: American Cobbler….
New, improved Shoe lets you pretend you’re about to shit on the bird’s heads.
Baby Blues, not worth looking up, but at the bottom of that shopping cart full of food is an…unwrapped…turkey. The horror! (And we wonder at all the e. coli outbreaks.)
How hot is that cobbler? Hot enough to have a steam line coming off of it, but cool enough to sit on Dagwood’s lap. I’d also say cool enough for Dagwood to eat, but I think the heat sensors in his mouth probably burned out years ago from gross abuse.
Shoe: Of course to British readers who pronounce clerk like clark, the punchline has a different vibe.
“By Jove, Jeeves. Poor old Byron shall now be introduced as superman’s alter ego. What fun!“
Shoe: Skyler wisely conceals the fact that new city comptroller Cynthia Luther recently got into an accident and lost a limb.
Luann: Luann’s jealous because she’s been doing nothing for forty years and hasn’t once been entertaining.
FC: Thel realizes that her attempt to construct a deadfall is a fruitless endeavor because she underestimated the intended victim’s level of stupidity.
Shoe: Looking forward to seeing how much mileage they can get out of this hilarious “What if someone’s job title was a pop culture name?” schtick.
“In other news, Jim Time has been appointed parish priest.” “So that makes him Father Time!”
“In other news, Prince Kong somehow inherited the British throne.” “So that makes him King Kong!”
“In other news, John Mao was appointed Chairman of the Communist Party of Treetops.” “So that makes him Chairman M-” [a cadre of Red Guards burst in to put an end to this counter-revolutionary wordplay]
Shoe:
“Kent has now appropriated for himself, without asking for or receiving anyone’s permission, the largest office in Treetops’ municipal building.”
“Great seizer’s ghost!”
JP: Oh no, she buried the lead/lede.
RMMD: “Of course, I could always order a few simple screening tests — for example, a complete blood count and a chest x-ray — to see if anything serious is going on. But screw that. Just try walking around some more for a couple months and see if that cures you.”
MW: Thanksgiving Day comes and goes, and Mary’s been dead for two days. No one has bothered to call or stop by to check on her all week until Mr. Allora begins to smell something funny. And so it ends.
MW – A better John C. Mather quote: “Even your chin is made up of exploded stars.”
It makes more sense after a big dose of Nyquil.
Superman comics don’t actually exist in the universe of Shoe. The Perfesser isn’t making a pun here, his life has just become so dull and dreary that the only way he can find any sort of entertainment in it is to repeat people’s new job titles aloud.
MW: Surf and turf buffet at the Bum Boat. Problem solved.
Blondie: I’d think delivery drivers would refuse to service Dagwood’s street, much like taxis won’t go to certain neighborhoods after dark. You just know he can smell a pizza or a box of Chinese food a mile away, and will chase down the car carrying it like the T-1000.
Shoe: Give Shoe credit, those are the exact expressions of a) a man telling a corny “dad joke” and believing the corniness is sufficient to make it amusing and b) a kid about to smash in his elder’s face with a television remote.
Sunday Mary Worth Quotevestigation yeah I think John C. Mather probably said that let’s move on. The composition in the last two panels is genuinely impressive IMO. The tree trunk leaning over parallel to the amorphous reflections in the windows and then Mary hunched over the phone in the last panel shows how when Mary feels sick the whole world tilts on its axis.
MW: This quote makes just about as much sense.
I have several computer companies. One of them I have a program for wide-format printing. I have a beauty program. So I have several different programs that I own for printing.
Jerry Mathers
Ripley: If I eat enough Doritos, I WILL BECOME INVISIBLE. “Even the moon is frightened of me, frightened to death!” Or does that only work if I am a giant mouse?
Second Phantom’s secret weapon: Appear suddenly and your opponents with convulse with helpless laughter at the sight of your pants.
DT: Love the transition between panels 4-5. After a few years of healthy New World cow milk and spinach and thick ribeye steaks and banana splits, scrawny German emigre dumpling-eater turns into a beefy and brawny Captain America.
Ancient Phantom wearing pumpkin pants — is this something we are supposed to acknowledge, or should we just kindly avert our eyes and pretend we didn’t see it? I need guidance here.
C’shaft: It’s funny because…um…we’ve updated our audio recording technology multiple times over the past decades but this last iteration is somehow terrible? Is this a physical media superiority thing? Because I don’t disagree (especially with streaming services being the way they are), but Batiuk manages to cock up the message as usual.
DT: “I mean, these are immigrants so we should hate them, but they’re white immigrants so they’re acceptable, but they’re also German immigrants which implies they’re former Nazis coming in under Operation Paperclip…I dunno, I’m just trying to figure out who we’re supposed to be shooting here.”
Luann: Luann aspires to be like Puddles. Explains a lot.
MW: Fifteen seconds later, keening wails of grief can be heard from the Weston apartment.
Pluggers hate their spouses.
RMMD: Is that supposed to be a joke? Because that’s just “temptation bundling” and it’s a well-established technique to create motivation for exercise and other habits that are hard to establish and maintain. Hell, Rex would probably be recommending it himself if he were a good doctor who cared about his patients.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: That strip pissed me off so much.
Shoe: I can perfectly picture the writer making this utterly pathetic “joke” and than being so smugly amused with himself that he rushes to his computer to put his oh so witty remark into the funnies for the world to see and be awed by.
Beetle Bailey: I remember how way back Josh had that running joke of Beetle and Sarge being dysfunctional gay lovers, and while he’s long stopped doing it, you can totally see how that gag got started.
RMMD: Rex, master of the soft sell, again leads his franchise in treadmill sales.
PV: “Been a long time since I rock ‘n roll”.
Hagar: Fully sated after murdering the fish monger and stealing his food, Hagar takes his wife for little fishing trip.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Slim from GA might be a candidate if things go right today!
Happy Sunday!
Blondie – In the penultimate panel, Dagwood looks to the reader for permission to eat the cobbler. I told him to go for it but to slip the neighbors a twenty to lie when Blondie gets around to asking the neighbors if they enjoyed it.
Shoe: As a dad, I kind of approve of today’s dad joke.
BB: How does Sarge know that Beetle’s farts don’t smell like coffee? Never mind. I withdraw the question.
Blondie: You’d think they would have taken the extra, I don’t know, 15 seconds to show Dagwood looking like he went on an Arnie Hammer-like spree.
Pluggers: This sounds suspiciously like a re-purposed “They’ll do it every time.”
Luann: I’m guessing Luann’s blank slate didn’t get Philled.
CS: Jeff, you idiot! Pam only likes physical media. You should know this.
9CL: Oh, hey, Brooke finally realized that Xiulan wasn’t Korean. Now, if someone with sensibilities dating this century (let alone the second half of last century) were writing young Alistair, we’d find out he’s really into K-Pop.
Up-top time!
Beetle Bailey has throwaway panels which do a lot for this entry, whereas Shoe has squeezed what could be a one-panel into an entire Sunday strip.
The Popeye topper is a godsend for readers who groan at the DJ3000 “Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again” level of humor from other legacy comics.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Jeezum crow! Don Abundio sure is tearin’ around heah!”
“Ayuh!”
“That motorboat of his is a humdingah, I’m tellin’ you!”
“But it scares off the wildlife!”
“All we got left is the black-crested loon!”
MW: Mary has come to the shocking revelation she can’t meddle a cold. Or pneumonia. Or whatever malady Jeff transmitted to her.
FC: This one is on Thel. She should know not to rely on the dumbest melonhead in the household. She would have been better off telling PJ. Or Barfy. Maybe not Kittycat, because cats can be obstinate assholes.
If Shoe only would embrace its Dutch angles, they could have Claark Kent. It’s right there, people, er, birds!
As a very lazy person – take a look at Panel 2 of today’s strip, where I copy pasted the left half to the right and did the minimum changes to eyes and mouth I could get away with – I am impressed with the Blondie throwaway panels. Not only is Dagwood turning his head, but Daisy is raising hers!
Blondie: Agree to strongly disagree, Josh. Those throwaway panels establish the sin and anomie that define Dagwood’s life. I mean, this is practically the definition of Durkheim’s contention “‘the malady of the infinite’ because desire without limit can never be fulfilled; it only becomes more intense”!
I…I need to spend more time outdoors, don’t I.
@Baja Gaijin:
The best reaction would be a headstone reading “Mary Worth, 1912(?)-2024. Mourned by absolutely nobody”.
The Phantom faces his Songhai adversaries, eyeing them critically. He stands his ground, unafraid, confident in his twin guns and the blunderbuss he has concealed in his purple striped bloomers. The two swarthy men scowl threateningly.
“Nice diaper,” the Phantom says, casually addressing the red-turbaned one on the left.
He receives a nod in return. “I was just going to compliment you on your puffy shorts. The purple looks good on you. But I’m afraid you have them on backwards.”
“Does he? How can you tell?” his companion inquires with interest.
“The skull label should be in the back.” Then, to the man in purple, “Don’t you feel the seam tugging at your junk?”
The Phantom frowns. “You’re right! Maybe I should try turning them around. Hold my blunderbuss a minute, would you?”
Zits: I spent several minutes trying to figure out what is happening in that first panel and what Walt is touching. Finally figured that weird box is supposed to be a button to close the garage door. The punchline that a teen from the Zoomer generation wants credit for things that got accomplished without putting forth any effort is just a very sad truth.
SlyLock Fox: This is some very cool elaborate artwork today of this underground cave. I also appreciate the drawing of the stoned turtle, and the little kid who’s experiencing stranger danger from an unexpected source. Does he know this old lady picking him up and kissing him? Is she senile or a sexual predator? So much to consider. A++++
@26 Ukulele Ike: I thought Leroy Lockhorn looked hilarious in pantaloons. The Ghost Who Walks in Pantaloons is equally as funny-looking.
@45 Ukranazi Stepan: Thanks for spoiling Thursday’s mashup! ;)
Curtis: The throwaway panels where Curtis guesses that his toddler brother dreams about evil clowns being locked up is a much more interesting concept than this clumsy story about miniature dolphins. I’m just thankful Barry isn’t pubescent or I’d have to assume he is trying to tell his brother he had a “wet dream”.
Family Circus: I can’t blame Jeffy for losing interest. It’s ridiculous that Thel thought she’d be able to move this large dresser by herself. Is this her way of trying to get attention from her husband?
The problem with forcing a pun into a strip so you can make the deadline is sometimes you don’t consider the implications it will have in making people think about the very concept of your comic.
Look! Up in the sky! Is a bird?
Yes.
@Charterstoned:
Maybe he legitimately needs the diaper or maybe it’s a sexual fetish thing? It’s still pretty weird he’s just walking around publicly with it.
CS: “Yes, let us listen to some holiday music while we decorate the holiday tree, under which we will place holiday gifts to be opened on holiday morning.”
Thank you, Batty, for enforcing a ban on the vile, exclusionary “C word.” In fact, we should burn every form of printed matter that contains that awful word, right?
@Hibbleton:
I’m glad that I’m not the only one who immediately thought that Dagwood was about to have coitus with that cobbler. The final panel should have shown it all over his pants.
Nothing could have prepared me for today’s Garfield that shows performing an obscene sexual act with a cooked turkey.
@53 Anonymous: I’m surprised he has his pants. I figured he’d devour them to get the cobbler remnants in his feeding frenzy.
CS: “I got you some holiday music to listen to while we decorate the tree. It’s got all of our traditional favorites: ‘Stars and Stripes Forever,’ ‘Here Comes Peter Cottontail,’ ‘My Funny Valentine,’ ‘Danny Boy,’ ‘Oh My Mama,’ and ‘Taps.’ “
Dagwood has a court order to report to any new neighbors his status as a sexual deviant. Do you think he made the poor dog watch as he defiled that food?
Crankshaft: The title panel is a nice nostalgic nod to Goodyear’s “The Joyous Songs of Christmas,” which was sold for $1 at Goodyear tire retailers in 1971. You can listen to it at the Internet Archive. The album cover shows the singers’ photos on candles. Artist Dan Davis used Andy Williams, Barbra Streisand, Tony Bennett, and Danny Kaye, but I can’t tell who the woman is on candle #4. She doesn’t look like any of the remaining women on the album: Lena Horne, Carol Burnett, or The Lennon Sisters quartet. Maybe it’s supposed to be Bobby Sherman.
Shoe: I worry about Skyler’s eyesight. I do. I mean, not only does he wear gigantic glasses, but he has to sit maybe a foot and a half away from the TV set.
BB: Why do they have twee little “tiny houses” at Camp Swampy? Is this what my tax dollars are paying for?
Blondie: (the next panel) “Naturally, I will be here to await the arrival of said pizza and hot wings and will consume most of the food while you watch in uncomfortable silence.”
They literally spent more effort adding a single, inexplicable maple leaf to the final panel then they did on anything in the throwaways.
Rex Morgan – While I was reading this I thought, “Ride an exercise bike while you watch TV.” Then in the last panel I find that I’ve been out thought by Rex Morgan’s obnoxious patient. (Hangs head in shame.)
FC – Holier than thou Grandma thinks, “I have to concede that that would drive me to drink, too. However, the harlot must have been sloshed the entire time if she expected that moron to keep anything in his mind for more than two seconds.”
Mary Worth – Oh, no! If I’m not hosting all those people, how can they praise me?
Breaking Cat News – I spent a LOT of time trying to understand how the Boy had long hair. Thank goodness for GoComics comments.
Pluggers – I call BS. He’s been driving around with the “check engine light” on for months.
I can’t believe that no one has mentioned that Henrietta has referred to herself as a chicken!
Shoe – In a world of birds, being able to fly isn’t a superpower, hence why Bird Superman has chosen instead to fight evil by first using his newspaper job to expose the corruption of the previous clerk, then resigning the newspaper job to clean up city government himself.
Beetle Bailey – The creators of Beetle Bailey should do a parody of the Billy’s dotted-line strip showing the great lengths Beetle will go to be lazy.
Blondie – I think the throwaway panels were meant for a integration with a clothing company for men’s fall casual wear that fell apart just before deadline.
Blondie: given that Blondie knows Dagwood is a glutton, why wouldn’t she set some aside for him?
@I speak Jive: On Pluggers. — Yeah, I thought Henrietta actually referring to herself as a chicken would be Josh’s top story.
@astroboy:
Nothing really Mathers to me.
— Freddie Mercury
9CL – I wonder if Brooke got Xuilan’s ancestry confused with the Korean TV show she produced. I hesitate to bring it up, because the TV show was a plot device intended only to hire Arthur Peel to write the music. Once he was involved, the TV show disappeared into the ether. He wrote a music piece, Interlude, that drove everyone who heard it into boinking. The music piece apparently had nothing to do with the TV show.
In any case, both the Chinese and Korean governments should be filing charges at The Hague over this dreck.
MW:
“My forbears, Cotton and Increase, didn’t like this strip’s depiction of Ed and Estelle together in the marital bed, because they’re too Puritanical.”
— John C. Mather
The Blondie panels are essential. With them, we learn that boredom is a trigger for Dagwood’s eating disorder; without them, it could be any of dozens of things (TV, sweaters, horniness…).
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
Indeed as also a decent percentage here should.
MW: The Case of the Contagious Cook, cont.
At Santa Royale Hospital, Perry Mason and Della Street waited anxiously in the ER for word on the condition of Paul Drake. After what seemed an interminable wait, they were finally joined by Dr. Jeff Cory. The doctor’s expression was grim.
“Are you family?” he inquired, just as Lt. Tragg entered the waiting room. Tragg blustered his way into the conversation, flashing his badge.
“Official business,” he barked. “What’s Drake’s condition?”
“Well, judging from his symptoms, it seems he’s been exposed to some sort of toxin. Possibly food related, but we won’t know that until we pump his stomach.”
“I’ll want to be there,” Tragg asserted.
@Anonymous:
Or perhaps red wings
@Philip:
– In a world of birds, being able to fly isn’t a superpower, hence why Bird Superman has chosen instead to fight evil by first using his newspaper job to expose the corruption of the previous clerk, then resigning the newspaper job to clean up city government himself.
Or just put the newspaper on the floor and poop on it
BT: Enough already
@Baja Gaijin Yes yes yes
@UncleJeffers: The punchline that a teen from the Zoomer generation wants credit for things that got accomplished without putting forth any effort is just a very sad truth. As a former teenager growing up in the 1970s I can attest plenty of us did that as well. Why do work when you can sit in your room and blast the latest Kiss album?
Beatup Bailey: The best part of waking up is Sarge in your cup. Weirdest Folger’s ad ever!
Crankshaft: As staunch adherents of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, I didn’t expect Batiuk or his characters to use the word “Christmas.”
SFx: I’m likin’ the MILF in the six differences brain puzzler, yes indeedy.
Crank: If you didn’t know Batty, you might think that this was a fun, if arguably joke-free, look at how music technology has always been changing. If you do know Batty, Pam’s befuddled look in the last panel is all you need to realise the intended message is more like “music technology is always changing, but the most recent change was a bad one for reasons utterly unconnected to me getting old.” You were right about it being joke-free, though.
DT: ISTR jroggs predicted the Tottens were Nazis ages ago, so naturally Neo-Chicago PD’s best and brightest are still stumbling around “They fled Germany after the war? That seems kind of weird but I can’t think why!”
FG: Kind of surprised Dovanna doesn’t insist “Actually, we’re the Lion People.” I guess the convention that all Mongovian races are “the [Noun] Men” is too entrenched to change now.
HtH: I was all set to snark about why Helga would specify “fresh” halibut in a time before freezers or canning. Then I thought “Or it could be smoked, of course.” Then I remembered they’re Scandinavian, so other options probably include pickled or fermented. You win this round, Walker-Browne LLC!
Also, unironic kudos for what I think is the first legacy comic I’ve ever seen where a husband seems to enjoy teaching his wife one of his hobbies, rather than seeing it as encroaching on time he specifically sets aside to not spend with her!
Phantom: Ah, yes, the patented Ghost Who Walks “I could have shot you in cold blood but I didn’t so now we’re friends” brand of diplomacy.
Pluggers: Is this the first time one of Pluggers‘ beast-people has acknowledged that they’re a beast-person?
Beetle Bailey: Beetle is too physically lazy to play an easy game of catch, but then he’ll sprint a mile to avoid it? That’s what I call commitment to the bit.
Blondie: What’s funny is that Blondie is making Dagwood get up off his comfortable couch to do something no husband ever wants to do: “Let’s go over to our new neighbors’ house without warning to introduce ourselves, and force them to take this huge tray of food that they may or may not like.” And then pulls the switcheroo: “Whoops, I’m too busy to join you, you’ll have to do this incredibly socially awkward task by yourself!” It’s kind of a crappy thing for her to do to him, but given that she still has this “hot wife who makes her own money and also is a great cook and her husband is a lucky bastard” thing going on, he can’t say no. And then, of course, Dagwood being Dagwood, he makes it all about the pastry.
@75 Guy Nerdlinger: Were you in the KISS Army? If you were, congrats for surviving the War on Disco. So many were lost in the many skirmishes with Donna Summer, the Bee Gees, and The Village People.
@Ukulele Ike: If I was to write some sort of animal world, I would make the Hari Krishnas all bunnies.
Hare Krishnas.
@Hibbleton: #8
“Squat Cobbler”! (“Better Call Saul” S2E2)
So did Beetle half asleep stumble to the mess hall with his personalized B cup,get a cup of joe, stumble back, and climb into bed again, or does he keep a Mr Coffee™ under his bunk?
So, did Dagwood actually pay for the pizza and wings? Or has he targeted these new people as ones who don’t eat pizza crusts, and is planning on raiding their garbage for the discarded pizza bits in the box tonight?
Blondie: I do love a good cherry cobbler, but in a fight versus pizza and wings, I’d have to go pizza and wings.
I’d say Schnozz and Busty got the better end of this deal.
Given the existence of “I Was made for Loving You,” Disco apparently won the War on Kiss.
(I keed, I keed. Stow the rotten vegetables!)
@Guy Nerdlinger: Yeah, my unscientific observation of Zoomer kids is that they seem way more self motivated than I remember being
MW: “Mary’s got the Covid
Mary’s got the Covid
Thanksgiving’s come undid
Look where her muffins hid
What did Dr. Jeff do
When he had to kiss you?
They said when Mary was locked down
They found him sneezin’ way up town
But man, he had it comin’, now that Mary’s got the Covid
She ain’t never gonna be the same
Mary’s got the Covid
Mary’s got the Covid
Her sore throat’s just begun
She isn’t having fun
Tell me now it’s untrue
What did the Bum Boat do?
Everybody who was there is coughing with minor pain
They say it’s the Clams Casino but it’s not that all
Mary’s got the Covid and she gave it to them all
Mary’s got the Covid
Mary’s got the Covid
She caught it all from Dawn
She just had to fawn
Mary’s got the Covid
Mary’s got the Covid
Cranky Winkerbean: It’s the same Mannheim Steamroller album too!
FG: Queen Dovana gets a whole Sunday spread to herself and we still don’t find out how she lost her arm.
Phantom: If I were one of those Songhai soldiers my first question would be one of my favorite lines from the movie “Slaughterhouse Five”, “Where’d you get that faggot outfit?”
Phantom: When the Japanese first encountered Europeans in the late 16th Century their artists, trying to depict these newcomers, would exaggerate the European’s billowing pantaloons to almost comical proportions.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Spanish to English.
@Daisy:
There was an episode of the cartoon “Garfield and Friends” where Garfield invents a new diet for lazy persons where they are allowed to eat anything they are willing to sit in first.
@Anonymous: One of my favorite bits from that show, with Nermal as the unwilling sitter given a huge chocolate fudge cake.
Nermal: But Garfield, sitting on cakes isn’t cute!
Garfield: Neither is being air expressed to Abu Dhabi, now SIT!!
On this day 50 years ago, Greyhound settled with striking drivers and Mary Worth was unexpectedly offered a new job!
Frazz: Enjoy those cookies, Caulfield, drenched in the collective spittle of your annoyed classmates.
So who was on the other end as Thel climbed the stairs backward? Dolly? Now Mom’s real mad ’cause Dolly has been smashed flat when the chest slid back down the stairs.
Did Dagwood eat that whole cobbler by himself there on the couch? Yeah, this is a stupid question ’cause he’s the master at food consumption without leaving a trace on his face. The master at work!
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: I have very little sympathy for the other kids. They should be well aware that they’re dealing with a smug, insufferable know-it-all.
On the other hand, I hope they spit and worse on those cookies.
mw and after cheering that they will be spared the holiday now with mary at the last minute toby and all the reisdents show up at mary beering thanksgiving dinner only for mary to have a early miracle and recover to still cook at the last minute and make every one over eat diner.plus help from rex morgan making a guest appearance
Blondie: “You’ve got a pizza arriving in 15 minutes, so get your wallet out because I’m not paying for that chain store crap.”
@97 demoncat_4:
And then Curtis’ relatives fly across the country and join Mary and the gang eating everything in sight plus a few things that were not meant to be eaten.
@Sequitur: General Curtis Dismay….
Blondie: Blondie and Dagwood have been married since before the New Deal. If she hasn’t figured out by now that her husband has no self-control…Well, of course she knows. She was just running out of anecdotes. Probably hid a camera somewhere too.
Shoe: The lesson for kids today is, “Don’t sit around watching the local broadcast news report while your neglectful uncle is in the house.” Have a feeling this is a somewhat coals-to-Newcastle message.
C-Shaft: Pam will gain my respect if she “accidentally” deletes the files because it’s fucking “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” yet again.
Dustin: Strong opening. Imply that they must either be a prostitute or a gold digger. Can’t believe it didn’t work.
FC: Thel would have been no better off if she’d sent Billy. Worse, in fact, because she’d have to sweep up those dotted lines afterwards.
JP: Thanks, Reena, but there’s no part of the last week that I want to see rehashed, including that one. Why don’t you talk more about your date with Chatty Cathy?
Luann: Unlike everyone else in the strip, who do nothing but fail to entertain.
MW: Mary had to cancel thanksgiving because her sneezes are loud enough to scare the Doves of Love ™ away.
RMMD: The whole consult with Mr. Lewton is going nowhere. It feels like it was put together by the Committee to Bring Back Rene Belluso So That At Least Something Will Be Happening.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Huh. I notice nobody has picked Dr. Ed from Mary Worth. Hell, put me down for him. There’s still lots of hilarious ways for a vet to bite it, “happily” married or not.
Shoe: It’s no coincidence the odd viewpoint coincides with a story about the government. The bird-oligarchy keeps constant watch on its citizens with secretly installed cameras. All it needs now is a bird-version Gene Hackman playing the saxophone.
Shoe: Sometimes selfies are shot from a high angle to minimize the appearance of a double chin. If that was the intention here, then mission accomplished.
“If Admiral Richard Byrd married Lady bird Johnson…she’d be Lady bird Byrd! Unless, of course, she was in SHOE, where she’d just be another big breasted bird woman hanging out at Roz’s Roost getting hit on by the Professor.”- Leonard Nimoy, ” Laugh-in” (adapted).
@NotThatStan: All it needs now is a bird-version Gene Hackman playing the saxophone.
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Unfortunately, Gene Hawkman has an exclusive contract to only appear in “Flash Gordon”.
JP: Anyone else curious about Reena’s date’s final two sentences?
1) “I think that you and I should [enjoy sexual congress], now.”
2) “Please get out of my automobile — you can walk home.”
I wish I knew what tomorrow’s Mary Worth brings us. I feel it could be mashup-able…
@109 Baja Gaijin:
Oh, okay.
Sex Organ, V.D.: “That sounds fascinating, McHale, but what about the one where the annoying patient actually pays his doctor for services rendered?” “I see what you did there, Doc, but I haven’t seen you render nothing yet, Doc.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Yes, I have Doctor Jeff. A small part of me is wildly hoping that he’s already caught whatever Mary has, will refuse to be sensible and stay home, will stagger into Santa Royale traffic, and will die after getting hit by a bus, with his last gasped-out words being “Free! Free at last!” The rest of me knows better.
@Baja Gaijin: I wish I knew what tomorrow’s Mary Worth brings us. I feel it could be mashup-able…
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At least the potatoes will be, Mary’s using instant.
@112 Poteet:
Nah. Dr. Jeff has probably had his shots to prevent getting whatever Mary has. In fact, he’s probably a carrier and gave Mary what she has without any symptoms of his own. He’ll outlive Wilbur and you know how hard it is to kill Wilbur off.
@110 Sequitur: Thanks and damn! Today’s mashup has the missing final panel for tomorrow’s strip. Maybe inspiration’ll hit before tomorrowthread.
@113 Garrison Skunk: Uh, yeah, I don’t want her Idahoan brand infected potatoes.
BLONDIE: I looked at that cobbler and thought briefly about how much of it I might want to eat at one sitting if I knew that, like Dagwood, I would never experience any negative consequences whatsoever. If the demon to whom Dagwood sold his soul decades ago is still doing business, hello to you, demon, and I have a few questions. Nothing at all is being proposed, you understand, I’m just curious.
@115 Baja Gaijin:
I sure you’ll think of something. You’re pretty good at that. Perhaps you can use the second panel from this.
@117 Sequitur: Oooh, thanks for the reminder. I forgot to add this to my future mashups collection. If I don’t use it on tomorrow’s mashup, it will be used at some point.
@Sequitur: Yes, you’re right, it really is better to face reality. *small sob*
Also, thanks for providing the Monday MW. That cat looks possibly-possessed, far more interesting than Toby.
@Ukulele Ike: 1) “Have you seen Ancient Apocalypse?”
2) “Even better than Curse of Oak Island.”
@118 Baja Gaijin:
The third panel is pretty good too. I thought the whole strip was hilarious.
@119 Poteet:
I think your best bet at getting rid of Dr. Jeff is when he goes off on one his Doctors Without Borders missions he will get lost and be eaten by a grue.
@121 Sequitur: Pooch Cafe is reliably good. Today’s episode was excellent. After all that piggy running around the house, Poncho failed at distracting his owner from the nail clipping.
@ectojazzmage:
I don’t know. Today they read more to me as “divorced dad and resentful teenage son.”
RIP Chuck Woolery. He was 83.
LUANN, Sunday: Shannon is supposed to be six. I don’t know enough about child development that I’d worry if a real six-year-old played a game like this over and over and over and over, but I might wonder just a little.