Downer Friday
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Dustin, 11/15/24
Yes, sir, Dustin sure is a strip where one of the main characters is a lawyer! Ha ha, that is undeniable. And “class action”? You’d better believe that’s something a lawyer would say. Does that make this strip funny? Well. That’s neither here nor there. I think we can say all the elements are there, though! Ha ha!
Hagar the Horrible, 11/15/24
The thing about Hagar is that he’s a literal savage, a vicious pirate and murderer. Everyone is terrified of him! He’s a violent man who feels no remorse!
Pluggers, 11/15/24
Pluggers are covered with bruises and various injuries. It’s actually really disheartening. And they’re old and their health isn’t great, so they don’t heal as quickly as they used to.
Shoe, 11/15/24
Wait, do the Shoe bird-people do meetings by Zoom? That implies a global pandemic in their recent past … but what could that be [Googles “bird flu,” accidentally clicks on the “News” tab] oh god damn it
85 replies to “Downer Friday”
Mary Worth Mashups, MIssing Final Panels: Is one of these more likely than the others?
MW: What kind of walk did Mary think Jeff was suggesting that necessitated this aggressive correction? Does Jeff occasionally employ some manner of competitive scoring system? Does Santa Royale’s beachfront boardwalk have black diamond routes? Is Mary worried about getting baited into a three-legged race by some of the local ambling hoodlums? What does this mean?
GT: “Blitz the running back to stop the run” is almost good football coaching, in much the same way that “You should eat more trans fats” is just one word away from being good dietary advice.
I don’t know what Hagar said to get an extra table built just for him, either, but the blue-skinned, three-eyed alien parasite that’s attached to Helga sure is happy about it.
MW:
“In all Siriusness, we should scan the night sky for the Dog Star after dinner!”
Dustin:
Apparently Ed’s office hasn’t gone full-time business casual, like 99% of the law firms in the United States have.
FC: Jeffy asks someone (his mom?) to unzip his ‘banana’ so he can go potty. He also asks what’s this yellow thing he’s holding.
Shoe: For once the strip is staying true to its bird orientation, as the Perfesser appears to be eating a bowl of worms. (Mmmm…woms!)
Pluggers are too cheap to buy a flashlight.
MW: Mary suggests they take a stroll to which Dr Jeff responds; “How’s your fillet of sole?”
Mary excitedly replies “Superb!” to his lame pun. Mary knows he likes her stroking his ego more than stroking his banana.
MW: So, they only show us this stilted, achingly boring side of Mary and Jeff’s relationship because it’s acceptable for public viewing, right? Behind closed doors, they really cut loose, right? Right?
MW: As per P1, Ed suggests they go for a walk and Mary pulls out a hash pipe. There’s a lot more to this relationship than we’ve been led to believe.
(Did Mary have spinach with dinner? Her fist is as large as Popeye’s)
Dustin – They could have saved a lot of space in the final word balloon if they had just written, “I told them you were going to do it braless.”
MW:
Today’s first silhouetted panel serves as powerful symbolism that when Jeff cajoled Mary the past several strip days about getting married, Mary’s response was to tell him to stick a fork in it.
Pluggers: Why don’t you just turn on the light?
FG: I was hoping yesterday’s teaser of calisthenics would involve Flash and Dale still on the beach. Flash doing Burt Lancaster pushups on Dale’s Deborah Kerr exercise mat.
@nescio:
They could easily use the flashlight on their mobile device…oh wait…never mind.
Dustin: “
I told everyone you’d be wearing a wet T-Shirt.” —That’s a big no, Steve. Leave the edgy jokes to Pastis. -Editor, King Comics Synd.Ha ha, it’s funny because the Perfesser has an absolutely ravenous appetite, just completely insatiable!
HtH – The name of the restaurant is Maison D’etre. That’s actually clever. I’m going back to bed.
MW: @Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!, at first glance, I thought I was being impressed by an awesome array of avian talent from your agency, and I was going to compliment you on that aerial performance by the Gulls o’ Glee. But then I realized it was only Jeff’s purple thought balloon as he mentally checked off the number of times Mary has shot him down during their date. Of course, if indeed they ARE gulls, they’re probably only in a holding pattern, waiting for Mary and Jeff to emerge from the Bum Boat so they can all shit on Jeff’s head in a big wow finish to his evening.
Dustin – It would have been funnier if he had told him that she was running in that halloween costume of hers. Because pimping his daughter out to his colleagues is totally something DustinDad would do.
MW: Dr Jeff is going to propose, right?
MW- Yak yak yak yak. Can’t wait for the Sunday climax.
RMMD:
“Here’s another idea, Truck, that evokes the eastern mysticism of the ’60s! — let’s do a tribute to Ravi Shankar called ‘While My Sitar Gently Weeps’ !”
@Unca Bob: Neither can Dr. Jeff, but that doesn’t mean he’s getting one!
Pluggers are literally dead. This sucks!
@LTJpezcore1: Did you miss Wednesday? Jeff tried and was platituded back into his place.
MW: “Well, the menu said ‘filet of sole,’ but what I’m seeing on the plate is ‘fish sticks.’ That’s the Bum Boat for you.”
Pluggers: Pluggers will not wait for a heavy 2-person pivot and certainly not for a Hoyer lift. They self-transfer to the toilet like God and the U.S. Constitution intended! Anyway, sign this death certificate, will you?
“I said WALK!”
“You’ll go on a STROLL and LIKE it!”
“Only an effete fancy boy would go on a STROLL”
“And . . .”
“Oh, really? You BITCH!”
[she slaps him hard]
[he slaps her back]
“Oh, Jeff,” she coos.
“Oh, Mary.”
They embrace hard, and kiss passionately.
[the Bum Boat’s manager approaches] “Okay, knock it off, you two! This ain’t the senior prom!”
[they depart; waves crash along the shore]
@jroggs: I saw that but this feels to me as though he is going to continue on undaunted
Also the Shoe joke would have worked better without “to the office”? Because that suggests that the Perfesser is going to physically be in the office, probably with other co-workers, even if some meeting participants are on Zoom? Shoe writers, I know you’re tirelessly trying to prove, no need to thank me for the tip!
*tirelessly trying to improve, dammit. hoist by the First Law of Nitpicking.
Shoe: I don’t know about other writers and journalists, but I find Zoom’s built-in recording function tremendously useful. Download the video, send it to an AI transcription service, and Bob’s your uncle. It’s not just that Cosmo has a sick donuvore exhibition fetish, is what I’m saying, he’s absolutely going to keep the panic-stricken, disgusted faces on the other end of the screen as a perverted memento after he washes down that entire box with a gallon of chocolate milk.
@Baja Gaijin: Is P3 in R2 an older version of Mary worth?
With regret I must praise Dustin for a joke that is not only original and coherent but relies on several long-established character traits (Ed is a lawyer, Ed wouldn’t put in much effort to help his child, Ed is absolutely the kind of person who would abuse his power to shake down his subordinates).
If Ed not smiling here was actually the joke it would have worked pretty well. “I closed the Jog-A-Thon deal today. Poor bastards never knew what him them.”
Blondie: Maya is a robot.
Shoe — Web searches “bird flu” Well it’s looks like the government’s on top of it. Clicks News — OMFG!
HtH — The “House of Being” must be one of those avant-garde restaurants where the menu consists largely of selections of post-structuralist melanges and tedious overcooked prie-fixes. One imagines that Hagar — will be hungry!
Pluggers would rather injure themselves than pay for five minutes of electricity when they get up to pee in the middle of the night. They’re not made of money, dagnabbit!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hey, ice cream man!”
“Monty! Look at that giant bunny rabbit! Don’t you want to catch it?”
“Elvis would have loved my hound dog”
@Unca Bob: Somewhere, at
a sunny tropical resortthe vet office after-hours, Estelle also “can’t wait for the Sunday climax.” (“Finally!” Estelle says dreamily to herself. “Finally, I can have a man shout ‘Augh! it’s wet!’ and not be talking about cat-soiled sofas!”)Today’s Dustin feels off. Sure, Dad did sort of trick his whole office out of money because somehow he’s the only one at his law firm who knows when “class-action” isn’t compulsory. But he also did something…nice? For his daughter? The only way I’ll accept this as canon is if it’s Dad’s endgame to make lots of cutting remarks to Dustin like, “At least I have one child who can hurry up to reach a goal.”
RMMD:
“Truck, I understand that those Congressonal hearin’s about flyin’ saucers are also discussin’ one of the staples of Wanda’s diner’s breakfast staples!”
“Really? Which one is that, Mud?”
“UAPs — Uneatable Acrid Pancakes!”
FC – This is literally low-hanging fruit.
@Charterstoned: Good eye, CS! Yes, those are Gulls, but not the official Gulls o’ Glee. These are some journeyman Gulls appearing today, as well as yesterday, for background ambiance. I’m not sure if it was accidental that they flew into Jeff’s thought balloon – sometimes they like to put a little extra flourish on what can be a routine assignment.
But I’m liking your idea for the Grand Finale! I’ll see if The Ladies can make a quick change before the happy couple leaves the Bum Boat! For that we’ll call in the headliner GOG! They’re always prepared for a bombing mission…
@Unca Bob: Sorry, no climaxes allowed in tis comic.
MW: “In all seriousness, we should do he horizontal mambo after dinner.”
PLUGGERS: Pluggers are several months past due on their energy bill.
PLUGGERS (2): The post-Animalpocalypse suburban lifestyle have made Pluggers “soft”, dulling the keen senses of their primal bestial forefathers.
PLUGGERS (3): Pluggers are grateful they don’t walk around naked.
Frazz: Frazz mentors another young snob in training.
JP: The fact that Glen hasn’t excused himself and sped back to the Hamptons by now is evidence of either extreme horniness or extreme dumbassness.
GT: “Blitz the RB,” said no football coach ever. Gotta love the way Henry just randomly sprinkles vaguely familiar sports terms around hoping he’ll one day hit on something that makes sense.
CS: Ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny if Amazon delivered a kid in a taped up cardboard box?
What? That’s tomorrow’s strip? Oh Jeez, sorry about the spoiler, folks.
Dustin Yep, write some lawyer words that you saw on a Game Show Network commercial one time. That’s perfectly good research. Now you can get back to making fun of your title character for being lazy and expecting to be successful while doing nothing to earn his pay.
@Unca Bob: Can’t wait for the Sunday climax.
Gooning to Mary Worth shows a real commitment to self-abuse.
I vote for the former. Nobody could be that dumbassness. But extreme horniness I can believe.
Pluggers: Forget sore toes and knees, this Plugger has seemed to have turned into stone. Does he have a Gorgon neighbor lurking around his premises? If Medusa survived into a modern setting, would she become a plugger? (So many questions!)
I had to go back and read this again. I thought the joke was they were at a furniture store, and when Hagar threatened the furniture salesman he started building one with his bare hands for them to buy. I kind of feel my way is funnier, but then I’m not part of the Browne family of comic artists.
@jroggs: A platitudinous rejection.
Dustin-Lot of people in Dustdad’s office really want to watch his daughter jog.
Dustin-Jog-a-thon or Jug-a-thon?
FC-Mommy can unzip a banana with her teeth.
MW-“We’ll take an easy stroll.” “That’s all we’ve been doing is taking it easy,” Jeff complains.
Pluggers: Ha ha! Pluggers are too stupid to buy a nightlight! Or is it, “Pluggers are too cheap to buy a nighlight”? Maybe it’s, “Pluggers are too poverty-stricken to afford a nightlight”? It has to be, “Pluggers are too disease-ridden to remember to get a nightlight in the morning after clonking themselves during the night.” Hm. I couldn’t figure out how to get a “Pluggers are fat” trope into this strip. I’ll have to try harder next time.
Pluggers-It’s funny because Pluggers still don’t know their way around a house they have been living in for years.
Shoe-“Listen, Roz, I’m eating my feelings.”
@34 Lord Flatulence: I think that’s some random old biddy from Rex Morgan before it became Rex Morgan Minus Rex Morgan.
Dustin: These “Hey, Dustdad is a lawyer, remember?” strips always make me wonder what kind of lawyer he is. I suspect he’s a minor player in a large personal injury firm, the kind people are always disappointed to work with because they thought they were going to be getting Jack Mancuzzi, the Legal Eagle (“We swoop down on the insurance company for you!” *red-tailed hawk screech*)
@Baja Gaijin: How about “Pluggers are so fat they’re constantly bumping into things with their fat feet”? It’s a bit of a stretch but it works.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Truck: “‘Twist and Turns.'” There’s a song in that. Especially if the Medley and Burns estates have poor lawyers.”
Dustin: Not to resort to hoary old evil lawyer jokes, but Dustin’s Dad being a lawyer explains so fucking much.
Hagar The Horrible: Hagar actually just told him to follow his true passion of carpentry.
Pluggers: If you exist in a black eternal void of damnation stumbling about through the eldritch darkness with no way to tell what’s around you beyond injuring yourself in an act of punishment for your sins… you might be a Plugger.
CS: There’s been potential for humor here, but the writing has just been so clunky.
9CL: These strips seem to be letting go of coherent narrative altogether. It’s genuinely starting to remind me a bit of the collapse of Apartment 3-G.
I didn’t have Pluggers by Caravaggio on my dance card this morning, but here we are.
GT: So, Goshen is wearing gold today–everything down to, I imagine, the underwear, but…light blue in the last game against TIlden?
There’s been no shortage of comments on the actual drawing of human figures in this strip. However, choosing the right color and pressing the fill button shouldn’t be so difficult.
Pluggers: Ex-child star Robbie Benson would be around the right age now to be a plugger —broken and wounded, wandering around in the metaphorical darkness (AKA, Pittsburgh).
@LTJpezcore1: As I look over the respective ouvres of Leonard Cohen and Bruno Mars, there is no lack of the right words for such a proposal, but unless he pocketed a calamari morsel at the Bum Boat, whatever will he do for a ring?
JP: Glen, honey, you can excuse yourself to “take an important call” and come back a minute later saying there was a work emergency or your uncle was found hanging in his cell or something and you have to leave. At this point Sophie and Neddy are so absorbed in their own sibling drama they won’t even notice you’re gone.
Luann: Bets and Dez should kick them both out, but that would require personality and agency and not just being set dressing for the regular cast.
MW: You know what’s worse than the post-arc Mary Worth Praisefest? The post-arc “Mary and Jeff go on the world’s most boring date to show how well-adjusted they are as a couple” sequence.
Phantom: “Free speech timeout” indicates some sort of corrective action. “Now Mr. Mollusk, you sit here on the naughty chair and think about how you can apologize to President Luaga.”
@Esther Blodgett: To its credit, a furniture store that has literally run out of its stock (at least towards tables) must be a pretty good store.
@Hibbleton: Well, he did play a literal beast-man (twice, ironically both were originally princes under a spell)
@TheDiva: your uncle was found hanging in his cell
Nah, that would hint at continuity and we can’t have that!
love is… caught in the act.
@richardf8: He probably had one of the waiters slip some sort of a pearl ring into one of the clams….
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
FC: Oh, fellow ‘Mudges…please don’t go there…please don’t go there…
*sigh* too late…
RMMD:
twists and turns
my life is throwin’ me
twists and turns
my life is givin’ me
third degree burns
twists and turns
oh yeah
twists and turns
my life’s remindin’ me
to water my ferns
My tummy’s churnin’ and I
got some concerns
twists and turns
twists and turns
oh yeah
Wow… Ed Kudlick, Hägar the Horrible, Earl Houndstooth and Perfesser Cosmo Fishhawk. Josh certainly has a type, and its BMI is through the roof.
@Daisy: You’re laughing? Jeffy can’t peel the banana because the stem fell off and you’re laughing?
HTH: They’re dining at the Maison d’Etre (“House of Being”)–is it a chain, is there a companion restaurant, La Maison du Neant? Do we have here existentialism avant la lettre?
yLuann: Where was Boy Rent-a-Cop when Kip and Stef were moaning? They couldn’t have been THAT quiet.
The Hagar joke is not bad but I think it would be better with a setup that dispensed with the dialogue in the last two panels. Like: panel 2, Hagar gives the maître d’ the stink-eye, panel 3 as is without dialogue. Or it’s just Helga in panel 1, Hagar shows up wordlessly in panel 2, panel 3 as is without dialogue. Or just Hagar in panel 1, Helga wordlessly shows up in panel 2… you get the idea. The funny thing is the maître d’ building the table, make that pop!
@61 TheDiva: That works.
@65 Uncle Lumpy: Welcome back!
@matt w: #80
Yeah…actually I’m crying…