Quick takes on still more babies and other terrible children
Post Content
Marvin, 11/20/24
Good news, everyone! Marvin? The terrible baby? The one who does all the pissing and shitting? Well, he doesn’t know about sex yet. Yet. Fingers crossed he never does.
Beetle Bailey, 11/20/24
Uh, Sarge, pretty sure that jeep belongs to the U.S. Army, and therefore ultimately to the American taxpayer? Which, I guess you’re one of those, but so is Miss Buxley.
Dennis the Menace, 11/20/24
Dennis believes that he and he alone possesses free will and is not bound by unbreakable fate; in his mind, he is the world’s sole protagonist. Folks … not to overstate this, but that’s about as menacing as it gets.
129 replies to “Quick takes on still more babies and other terrible children”
DTM: Henry is trying to get his son started down the dark road of the occult. He is jeopardizing his son’s eternal soul. Now, that is top tier menacing!
Luann: I see Luann has stumbled open the Euthypro dilemma. Perhaps she should major in philosophy.
Dennis’ dad belongs to the Book-With-the-Title-on-the-Back of the Month Club.
GT: Man, that Valley Tech defense must be savage! Just look at all the dents in those Milford helmets!
MW: Hey, everybody, do you know Mary’s hosting Thanksgiving dinner as usual this year?
Mary’s able to get away with the “home cooking” ruse because everyone always assumes the Door Dash car parked outside the building is for Wilbur.
CS: “I don’t get it, Mr. Rawlings. If everyone already knows what everyone else is doing, what is there to get caught at?”
“Ah, er, um, don’t be impertinent, young lady. I’m trying to share my hard-earned wisdom with you.”
“But that doesn’t sound like wisdom, Mr. Rawlings, it sounds like bullshit.”
“Hmm, you catch on quick.”
Marvin So Marvin is young enough to be drawing with crayons and pooping himself, but still gets an allowance? Gotta wonder if Mom and Dad and trying to quietly support his ‘running away from home’ efforts.
BB Jesus, does that even qualify as a punchline? It feels like an off-brand simulation, like mock humor, or joke loaf.
DtM Love the smile that Dennis’ dad is giving. “I dunno, I have a pretty clear vision of what’s going to happen on your eighteenth birthday, bucko…”
Luann: ‘My, but you’re an idiot’ There, fixed it for you.
JP: Yeah, screw my nimrod of a brother and any psychological trauma he might have from experiencing extreme family trauma AND having his friend who happens to be a girl stolen out from under him. I’m getting LAID tonight!
Phantom: [facepalm] Oh good grief…
@Joe Momma: Dennis the Menace is an Omen prequel.
DtM: We’ve all predicted your future, Dennis. Don’t bend over in the shower.
BB: Sarge’s psychosexual development froze in the oral stage. Everything goes into his mouth and girls have cooties.
MW: Considering that all the Thanksgiving strip will be is a single panel shot of a loaded table surrounded by people with no place else to go, and a sappy quote about thankfulness, this is QUITE the build-up.
DtM: Dennis, you only do four things: go to Mr. Wilson’s house to annoy him, whine about your mother’s meals, mildly berate Margaret, and sabotage your parents’ friendships by repeating their nasty gossip. It doesn’t exactly take Nostradamus and a time machine to figure out what you’re going to be doing for the next week.
DT: What kind of truck? Was the truck the target or the means to the target? Which extremist group? Did the attack go through successfully? Has the attack even happened yet? Is Sweden okay? Why is Sprengstoff suspected? How is any of this known or assumed? Why does every single goddamned thing have to be so needlessly and counter-productively vague? Christ, and we’re still waiting to hear the explanation for the fiasco at the Transit Authority, if that’s even coming.
CS: When did this turn into a puff piece interview? Does Batiuk not know what “shadowing” means?
JP: Summer may be over, but Judge Parker characters tell-don’t-showing us about how much Lucas sucks is a four-season activity. At least Glenmom is grieving Harold’s death, because apparently both of their sons are too busy squabbling over Sophie’s fickle affections to care about their father’s murder. Anyway, this has taken a turn from Luann to Mary Worth and I am not into any of it one bit. Bring on the next globetrotting crime boss already.
RMMD: Kill me.
Dennis the Menace: Yessir, Dennis, nothing says “unpredictable” like two-dimensional clipart cut and pasted into another drawing! Might want to check your nose, Son, it looks like the glue is coming up.
DtM: With that slight smile, Henry has introduced Dennis to the realm of unexplained phenomena and the supernatural. Soon, Dennis will be fully versed in the world of the occult. The boy has nothing to lose. As the comic has shown fairly well over the decades, Dennis has no soul. Dennis the Menace, indeed.
I noticed that Marvin is left-handed, so I considered researching previous strips to see if that is canon. Then I had a good laugh and continued reading Josh’s post.
Beetle Bailey: Better questions for Sarge to ask: How will I protect my eyes from the wind and flying particles? Is that even a windshield, or just a metal bar over the hood? Where exactly is the engine in this Jeep? Where are the seatbelts? Am I going to die alone and friendless except for my disturbingly human-like dog on this trip to town? I’m going to die, aren’t I?
BB: Why is Sarge squatting with his knees up to his chest? Is that a back seat or a cargo area?
Nancy: Someone please count her hair spikes to verify.
CS: In reality, small-town newspapers run a lot of stuff like “Sidewalk Repair Underway.”
Sarge, I understand that you’re going to pout about this like a normal human adult who is a Sergeant in the United States Armed Forces, but consider: You could drive. You could tell your subordinate to cram himself into the apparently footwell-less back seat with his knees at the approximate level of his shoulders. It didn’t have to be this way, Sarge. I’m disappointed in you.
MW – Stupid Mary. Thanksgiving is BEFORE Christmas!
Marvin – I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you…with crap….
BB – At Camp Swampy, rank only defines body odor….
DtM – So…the Mitchells are into Thelema and the Order of the Golden Dawn! This strip would have made a lot more sense if they’d have explained this Rosemary’s Baby connection right from the beginning. Yes…he’s got his father’s eyes….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Dennis uses his elementary school understanding of occult to challenge core concepts of free will. While his son’s questioning of Henry’s deeply held Lutheran faith may be menacing to him, it doesn’t seem to be something the neighbors should worry about.
MW: In a good strip, weeks of buildup of the Most Delicious Wonderful Thanksgiving Gathering would have a payoff – one of the regulars brings a guest with either a side dish that upstages Mary or a normal set of taste buds leading to a full-blown Emperor’s New Clothes moment with the feast of glop, or Mary comes down with influenza/ RSV/ covid at the last second and cannot host. But then I remember that this is Mary Worth, after all.
Is Dennis going to argue that even in a materialist and godless world, there is room for free will? Or is Dennis going to reject the false beliefs of his father such as astrology and embrace his mother’s religion? Both atheism and Augustianism are very menacing!
Called it yesterday: we’re really going to get a week and a half of nothing but various people praising Mary Worth’s cooking. Today, it’s Mary’s turn to praise her own cooking. The only excitement left in this turgid tome of tautology is guessing who’s up next to praise Mary’s cooking. I bet it’s Wilbur. Be still, my beating heart. I can hadly contain my excitement.
MW: Just look at Jeff, all adorable there angling for an invite to next Thursday’s glop-fest.
Sarge complains about being denied riding shotgun, probably because he actually saw war and has some experience shooting shotguns at people
Have you ever considered that Sarge really does own the Jeep, which he brought to the organization as a condition of signing up? Camp Swampy is probably home to a private military company that purchases its ordnance on the black market and various Army-Navy surplus stores. It’s been tough to purchase new equipment since Silk Road shut down, though.
I know we stopped making jokes about Sarge’s forbidden love for Beetle, but when he’s stewing about how Beetle has to give public pride of place to the beard Miss Buxley instead of him…
Dennis has to defend the concept of free will. If his future can be predicted, he has no free will and he is just a puppet of an Almighty God — or Almighty Author —, just a cog in a bigger machinery. Only if he has free will, morality can exist and terms like “evil”, “sinful” or “menace” have any weight
Marvin has no idea about sex because his parents have never had sex or even spoken or thought about it since the day he was born. Better not to risk Marvin 2
I’m sorry Dennis, who actually calls you “unpredictable”? Your strip has basically followed such a strict formula for the last seventy years that you would not need a complex LLM to generate new strips, an analog computer would suffice
Marvin – Marvin doesn’t understand where babies come from, but ironically doesn’t know he’s used as an example in sex ed classes to scare at-risk teenagers into not bringing more babies into the world.
Beetle Bailey – Sarge is currently on probation due to a drunk driving incident, hence why Beetle is serving as his chauffeur. While Sarge hasn’t been demoted in rank officially, he is de facto bottom rung in any transportation related situation.
Dennis the Menace – In many Greek tragedies the Gods and Fates come down heavy on protagonists for their hubris. The difference is Dennis has already accounted for this in his plan. The heavenly attempts to humble Dennis will merely give him the chaos in which for him to seize power and rise, and eventually march on Mt. Olympus itself!
BB: A ride to pound town…amirite?
I started typing out my prediction of Dennis’s future but it’s too damn sad. These are actually the best days of your life, kid, live it up!
Beatoff Bailey – Sarge’s smile in the first panel is because he thought Miss Buxley would have to sit on his lap – the male equivalent of Ben Wa balls.
Dennis is correct that no fortune teller could predict his future, but he is lying to himself about the reason why. He came into this world 5-years-old and he has been 5-years-old for decades. He has no future and no past, he just is and always will be. Things may look a little different for some reason, but nothing will truly every change for him or anyone he is trapped with. Are any of them aware of their torment, or do they live in this hell in blissful ignorance?
***
If there’s one thing everyone I know does, it’s give money on a weekly basis to infants. Make that bank, Marvin.
***
“No fortune teller can guess my future…” Look at Dennis the Skeptic here.
@pugfuggly: re Marvin: The fact that Marvin gets an allowance is what stood out to me, too. Is it in cash that he spends at the candy store on his way home from whatever school he goes to unaccompanied? Or is it put on a credit card that he can use online to buy crayons and toys? I hope he’s saving some of it so he can buy a bidet one day.
Marvin: Words I never expected to see in a comic strip, or anywhere else:
“That information is above my allowance pay grade.”
So, Marvin already knows he’ll be stuck as a drone in a dead-end job in a strict hierarchy if he ever grows up.
No wonder he is fixated on remaining a toddler forever, never mastering potty-training in order to avoid kindergarten and its dreaded pathway to elementary school and eventually high school.
RMMD-“Well this dialog for one thing is painful.”
MW-Will all this praising of Mary carry over for another week?
@MKay: It could become a situation wherein Mary drives herself to the hospital!
Crankshaft-“In Centerville we report on each other.”
Dennis The Menace: Imagining a psychic tries to do a reading on Dennis and their head immediately explodes Scanners-style.
MW: I would say that this week of everyone praising Mary’s cooking would be blatant foreshadowing for some upcoming disaster, but given how slowly this strip moves, if they wanted a Thanksgiving disaster plot, they’d have needed to start back in September.
Everyone place your bets where this is headed:
a) Absolutely nowhere, Mary makes Thanksgiving dinner and it’s wonderful as always.
b) Some upstart brings a side or dessert that everyone loves even more than Mary’s cooking, and this sends Mary into a downward spiral, deciding she has to outdo this person at Christmas dinner
c) Some other stupid non-issue, probably involving Wilbur
Luann – So this week is a gender switched version of “Tuesdays with Morrie”?
BB- I’ve been getting 1960s-era Beetle Bailey strips randomly popping up in my FB feed, and it turns out Beetle had a steady girlfriend named Bunny, whose father was forever trying to keep his daughter from dating Beetle. Wonder whatever happened to ol’ Bunny? I’m waiting for the strip where Beetle catches Bunny in bed with Killer and turns to Buxley for solace.
Why is Sarge’s stomach upset that Buxley is riding shotgun?
Crankshaft Mashup: What Skip’s silhouette reminds me of.
You see, if you really are psychic, you don’t need a title on the front of the book, because you already know what’s in it. Having the title on the back just reaffirms your powers.
DtM: Dennis learning how to do cold readings and grift grieving widows out of their life savings: pretty darn menacing.
DtM: So Henry is a student of Higher Magick and the mystic arts. And he’s already created his own Homunculus!
Dustin: I don’t think he’d look so good in the outfit. Fishnets aren’t his style.
MW: Mary’s a good cook? When did that happen?
MW- Mary, Mary, Mary, you take a victory lap AFTER the race not before! She’s been spinning doughnuts all week wearing out her “tires” and her audience.
@43 Lord Flatulence: I don’t understand.
RMMD: Okay, I’m willing to wait and see where this reboot of D.O.A. is going. Although casting Danny DeVito in the old Edmund O’Brien role is a bit of a stretch.
C’shaft: Skip misses the good old days of the HUAC.
GT: I didn’t think it was possible for the sports scenes in Gil Thorp to get even more vague and incomprehensible, yet here we are. At least the last guy drew backgrounds.
JP: Man, when having Sophie in your life is the good thing about it…
Luann: Mrs. Horner is REALLY struggling to find the good in this situation right now.
MW: Of course Mary loves Thanksgiving. The stress of large gatherings, the simmering family resentments, the explosive dinner-table arguments over politics…it’s meddler’s paradise!
Phantom: Speaking of incessant talking, when was the last time President Luaga got a word in edgewise?
P&HU: A mandolin or a marimba? Must be that new Latin-bluegrass fusion band I’ve been hearing about…
RMMD: I think he’s just got a case of living in the 2020’s.
DtM: Henry smiled. Maybe one day his son could overthrow Leto the Tyrant, but at the very least Henry would never need to buy him a No Ship from Ix.
Baldo: Man, those Lucha Libre masks are only one step down from WWI gas masks on the Freak-Me-Out nightmare scale. I think I’ll be skipping this strip for the rest of the week.
“Dennis the Solipsist”: a philosophical tract in single panels
Baby Blues: I’m not sure what the standards of beauty are for a universe where people have disproportionately giant heads but this woman does not appear to be overweight.
Curtis: How much food do you usually prepare for Spring Break? Isn’t that usually when Easter falls? Do you need twice as much food for Thanksgiving than Easter? I have no idea.
Blondie: Dagwood is too obtuse to realize that Elmo is trying to tell him his wife is having an affair.
Family Circus: I do not believe that these children have their own separate bedrooms.
Hi and Lois: She also should be bringing the baby with her because these children are not old enough to be left alone unsupervised. Also I don’t think elementary schools spontaneously keep kids for after school detention if they even have that at all.
@TheDiva: #50MW
Biddies spendin most their lives
Livin in a meddler’s paradise…
Her handjobs are gentler, Sarge.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s the famous silhouette of Nosferatu, the 1922 silent movie vampire.
Bizarro: This comic makes no sense. Peter Parker was only bitten by a radioactive spider by random chance as a high school student. He didn’t have a weird childhood obsession with spiders. Maybe this is just some random kid whose parents named him Peter Parker after the Marvel Comics character and he gets teased so much about it that he thinks he needs to make spiders part of his identity.
@Baja Gaijin: @Lord Flatulence: F.W. Murnau did great things with shadows in that film.
“Where do babies come from, Marvin?”
“Well, let’s say you want to be a cartoonist, but you lack the talent and insight of someone like Charles Schulz, Al Capp, Garry Trudeau, Gary Larson, Bill Watterson or Richard Thompson. You cannot be funny or profound, so you try to be relatable. What’s the lowest common denominator of relatability? Pets and babies. People with pets and babies will read your strip and nod, that’s so like me. So that’s where babies like “Daddy Daze”, Trixie of “Hi & Lois” and, of course, “Marvin”, come from”
@57 Lord Flatulence: Oh. I wasn’t around then.
Dennis’ dad is reading a right-to-left book written in English, which means he is not reading a book about ESP, but a manga about ESP. No shade, it would probably more interesting and useful than pseudo-scientific crap.
MW: I LOVE to see people enjoy my HOME COOKING! It’s so much more edifying than watching the local raccoons wrest it from the garbage can, after my guests have furtively scraped their plates into the kitchen trash!
“Can you give me a ride into town?”
“Hold on. You’re asking me to misuse government equipment and commit an Article 15 offense in front of an incredibly violent Master Sergeant? Is this a set-up?”
Dustin: I posted this on Monday:
“But this is the Dustinverse, so I expect a return to the status quo by next week.”
A whole two days. This strip’s awfulness continues to amaze me.
Marvin is basically the same situation as the 1980’s sitcom “Small Wonder”. He is a robot made to look and act like a human baby but he doesn’t know he’s a robot. This is all part of a covert experiment by the government to study the limits of what people can tolerate before having a psychotic break.
Mary Worth – “I LOVE to see people enjoy my HOME COOKING!” I would expect every other person in the world say something like “I love to cook for other people.”
Mary is already patting herself on the back. Then after Thanksgiving dinner, starting with the person sitting next to Mary, everyone at the table will take turns saying how awesome Mary is, how she is the world’s best cook, how she is the world’s most astute meddler … you get the picture.
Rex Morgan – It sounds like that could be something serious, or at least concerning. In the hands of a competent writer, this could be a compelling story. It’s being presented vaguely by an unpleasant, unappealing character we’ve seen once before, so whatevs.
Frazz – No, your favorite part is being a smug, insufferable know-it-all.
9CL – I’m not sure exactly what Brooke is going for here – I don’t have the interest to think about it more than superficially. Whatever it is, he’s running it into the ground.
@Baja Gaijin: In 1922, I was already getting into the movies at half-price as a senior citizen. That Ben Turpin is the cat’s pyjamas!
@I speak Jive: re: 9CL: If I were marrying a twin, I would certainly expect her sister to prance around in front of me in a skimpy bathing suit. What’s the point of marrying a twin otherwise? “Whoops, fucked the wrong one again!” (It’s okay because sisters are so good-humored about sharing sex partners)
@jroggs: Re Crankshaft – If the question is “Does Batiuk not know what _________ means?”, the answer is always no.
@richardf8: I got that reference!
She can expect a stern lecture from Rex Morgan if she does that.
@Lauralot: I think it will be c).
Marvin: I’m surprised Marvin doesn’t know where babies come from, because he’s very knowledgeable about what comes out of all the other holes.
MW: Everyone is asking Mary if she’s hosting Thanksgiving, but so far she hasn’t actually invited anyone. Next week’s image of Mary sitting alone behind a pile of beige muffins will be bleak.
BB: Miss Buxley gets to sit up front because she’s equipped with air bags. (cue Ed McMahon laughter)
@Ukulele Ike: @Baja Gaijin: I know it’s probably obscene to compare a cinema masterpiece to Crankshaft, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!
LUANN: Mrs Horner: “My, you make life complicated. The trick is to pop opiates like Tic Tacs. And then the world smooths over in a blissful drugged-out haze. Now go away, you’re harassing my buzz!”
LUANN (2): Miss Horner: I’m sorry dearie, that wasn’t very helpful. The actual trick is to be a Manic Pixie Dream Grandma who only exist to give “wise council” to young people (main characters only, please!) and make their naive callow assess feel special, but otherwise have no internal life of their own. More cookies, sweetie?”
Dennis the Menace-Dennis is going to grow up to lead a very boring middle class life.
@Anonymous: A spear version of a “Betsy-wetsy” I imagine….”
@Ukulele Ike: 9cl: I think Alistair’s planning on marrying both of them simultaneously. They must be in Utah.
@Midtown: I’ll bet it goes towards his prune and all-bran budget. He’s got a reputation to maintain after all.
@Lord Flatulence: I appreciated it. Of course Skip Towne has a blob for a nose instead of Count Orlok’s creepy hook, but the hands match!
DtM: When I see “unpredictable”, my mind goes to WWE “enhancement talent” The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz.
When the bell rang, you could easily predict that Johnny was gonna lose.
RMMD: “Well, sir. You’re tired and you ache a lot. My diagnosis is: you are old.”
“Doc. I want a second opinion.”
“OK. You’re also ugly”.
Dennis the Menace: So Henry is training his son in arcane mystical practices, by using a children’s book about unleashing psychic powers featuring illustrations of Curious George? I don’t know what cult they belong to, but I’m pretty sure Dennis will eventually be leading it. (And I guess this finally explains how nerdy Henry and super-hot Alice first got together — she was love-bombing him in order to lure him to the upstate compound.)
@TheDiva: GWIT: The Ghost Who Incessantly Talks.
@TheDiva: Dennis Mitchell will grow up and become Rene Belluso.
@Weaselboy: I noticed that Marvin is left-handed, so I considered researching previous strips to see if that is canon. Then I had a good laugh and continued reading Josh’s post
_____________________________
Guess you missed that comic with Marvin was urinating with his left hand , and thought out loud “Hey Mom!I’m A south pour!”
Marvin knows that he was dragged from the depths of Hell by a screeching Shogoth and regurgitated upon this plain to make mankind suffer for their sins, but he does not remember the other children being in the abyss with him, so he is confused.
@Lord Flatulence: HAR, good one! But of course Nosferatu had more dignity and much better grooming.
@Lord Flatulence: Dennis will never develop the fine, subtle, genius brain of a Rene Balluso. However, I can picture him taking a swing at somebody and falling off a large boat.
GA: No theme day about terrible children would be complete without noting that the GA Three Weird Sisters are still flying around the solar system with the demented robot. I’m kind of hoping that the doll who was left behind is now so furious that she’s working on a very large explosive device to present to them as a welcome-back-to-earth present.
DtM: I dunno. Today’s strip seems to me to indicate that the last few years may have been a little too much for Henry and that his cheese is starting to slip off his cracker.
@UncleJeffers: Bizarro: This comic makes no sense. Peter Parker was only bitten by a radioactive spider by random chance as a high school student. He didn’t have a weird childhood obsession with spiders. Maybe this is just some random kid whose parents named him Peter Parker after the Marvel Comics character and he gets teased so much about it that he thinks he needs to make spiders part of his identity.
Worst. Bizarro. Ever.
GA: considering the writers acknowledged this was just an imaginary flight, these three girls must have already known plenty for their report of the solar system. Good for at home learning!
MW:. This is one thing I agree with Mary on– making Thanksgiving dinner is a blast! So easy, so good, so many great carb-laden leftovers.
PHANTOM:. Story is headed in unexpected direction. Not sure if I like having cartoon characters smarter than I am.
ZITS:. For the arcs of the comic, I hope she gets the job. For Jeremy’s sake, I hope the superintendent remembers it’s a bad idea to put parents and students in hostile partnerships.
Recalling a Sgt. Bilko episode in which he and a WAC counterpart contend for a new jeep delivered to their base. The idea seemed to be it would be assigned to somebody, who could then effectively use it as a personal vehicle on and off duty.
Of course, Sarge may believe he actually owns the jeep. My long-standing theory is that Camp Swampy is not a functional boot camp but an asylum, the inmates participants in long ago experiments with LSD and the like, living a half-remembered vision of 1950s army life.
@Flipper:
#70. BB. Then why is the biggest windbag in the back seat? (Flipped that one on you. ;-)
Don Abundio, translated:
“May I have a good-night kiss?”
“Just one”
“Technically, that counts as one kiss! The rest of the time I was just rubbing my head on your face!”
@Anonymous:
–Marvin is basically the same situation as the 1980’s sitcom “Small Wonder”.–
Also, they’re both syndicated. It’s obvious why “Small Wonder” is, but I still can’t figure out why Comics Kingdom picked up Marvin.
LUANN: Much better no visitors than some visitors.
JP: Neddy makes Sophie look better. It’s not a great job, but it’s a job.
MW: Oh c’mon, Karen, pleeeeeeeze let something bad happen to Mary so she can’t cook the Thanksgiving dinner. Otherwise, what’s the point? To our suffering, I mean.
@UncleJeff: Re RMMD, bwahaha!
DT: Oh, man! The criminal explosives expert may have been involved in planting explosives! And not just for the sheer joy of seeing something go bang, but for, like, bad people! This changes everything!
DtM: Henry smiles. When the moment comes to activate the child, all the government’s precogs and telepaths will be powerless to counter him.
HtH: I continue to be perplexed that the Hägar the Horrible creative team seem to believe Vikings just have an innate attraction to castles because they’re so much fun to raid, rather than them being very difficult to raid but the Vikings had to raid them because that’s where the valuable stuff was, and the reason it was there is because they were difficult to raid. I also continue to be perplexed that, despite this basic function of castles not being true in the Hägarverse, people keep building castles. Just leave your valuables in whatever unfortified manor house they’re currently in that Hägar doesn’t care about because it’s not a castle!
Heath: “You don’t see many fly-keepers. Probably because no part of that makes sense, from keeping them in hives like they’re eusocial to wearing special suits in case they sting you! The whole thing is entomologically absurd!”
JP: “My mom’s a mess about her own brother killing my dad. I guess she kind of liked him or something? Personally, I’d probably forget the guy even existed if she didn’t keep on about it!”
At this point the only way I will ever forgive this story is if it turns out the reason Glen’s dad looked exactly like Sam is because they were actually identical twins, hopefully giving this relationship between Sophie and a dude who maaaybe just barely passes the (age/2)+7 rule, and who she hooked up with because his brother (or so we were told not shown) just wouldn’t get the message that she wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now and also possibly because murders get her hot, a squickiness that even Ces can’t ignore.
…oh wait, Sophie’s adopted, so Ces would probably barrel straight through that as well.
Phantom: Is DePaul just copypasting chunks of that article he skimmed directly into Stripey’s dialogue now? Look, I dislike LLMs as much as anyone. But if you’re worried that an LLM is going to take your job, maybe don’t write a comic strip that looks like it could have been written by an LLM trained on “Why LLMs are bad” articles.
S4th: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Either do something with the “Laura’s mobbed up and secretly bought Jackie out with illegal gambling money” storyline, or shut up about it and pretend it never happened! The second one for preference, but either’s fine!
BB: Miss Buxley’s purse strap has mysteriously grown longer between the first and second panels. And Miss Buxley herself has changed from the way she used to be (I just looked her up on google images) but that’s a whole other story.
Luann-“Luann, have you thought about getting filled in the physical sense?”
CS: Emily then looks at Skip’s arm stump and says, “I’ll bet that really hurt. Huh?”
CS: Since everybody in this podunk knows everybody else’s business I’ve got to just make shit up. You wouldn’t believe how many lives and careers I’ve ruined, how many marriages and friendships I’ve destroyed. Ah, yes. Good times, good times.
@Lord Flatulence: #43: My first thought was Gary Oldman’s Dracula from the 1992 movie, but yeah, Murnau’s Nosferatu works better.
@jroggs: re RMMD — with any luck, we’d have an interesting story about euthanasia. With OUR luck, we’ll get one on the importance of using a CPAP consistently.
@Poteet: Nah. Nails were too long.
@Anonymous: That reminded me of in “Community” where Annie was doing a psychological experiment on patience and aggravation. She tells a bunch of people and her friends to wait for a bit and then hours pass then more hours pass.
Most people have rage-quit and left, but Abed stayed, soon he was the only one left and continued to stay much much longer than Annie had anticipated, she couldn’t understand why he was continuing to stay. It was driving her up the wall. Then she realized that her experiment on patience and aggravation was backfiring onto herself.
So she asked him why he continued to stay and he said “Because you told me to wait, and you’re my friend, so I promised I would.” then she completely felt like a jerk.
@pugfuggly: BB Jesus, does that even qualify as a punchline? It feels like an off-brand simulation, like mock humor, or joke loaf.
_______________________
BEATLEBAILEYMANIA: It’s not the Beatle Bailey, but an incredible simulated joke loaf!
@Charterstoned: You are right about the nails, of course. However, it is generally easier for me to ignore someone’s awful nails than to ignore someone’s awful beard. I am generally a big fan of beards. But not the Rawlings beard, yuck.
@SomeJerk: Oddly, that’s the same Sgt. Bilko episode that taught the current writers of Beetle Bailey everything they know about the US Army
Since the US Army phased out the Jeep in the 1980s, presumably this really is Sarge’s vintage jeep. Since that Jeep is not roadworthy, (lacking seatbelts and mirrors) “ride to town” is presumably a code word for something indescribable.
@Poteet: I can’t stand anything about Skip, but the hat is what pushes me over the edge. I can’t stand that fucking hat. Maybe it’s because everything else about him is so annoying, and the hat is just the last straw. Maybe it’s because he looks pretentious wearing it. I don’t know why, but I loathe that hat. I wish it would disappear. While he’s wearing it.
Y’all made me look up “Rawlings Beard” to make sure I don’t have one.
I don’t. Mine is more “The Billy Gibbons.”
@I speak Jive: #108: I don’t mind Skip’s thug cap so much as the pinned up empty sleeve, and ditto for Becky the band director. Is that some kind of fetish for Batiuk, or can’t Davis draw a prosthetic limb? An artificial arm would make both of their jobs much easier.
BB: Sarge could take the wheel himself and order Beetle to take the backseat, but I guess he prefers to fume. How the mighty, etc.
DtM: Oh, I think she could take a stab at it. Five forever, always killing time at the misanthropic neighbor’s house? Am I warm?
9CL: On the one hand, it might be courteous for the twins—and their twins—to wear different colored bikinis so that it’s easier to tell them apart. On the other, does anyone actually care to distinguish them?
C-Shaft: Skip proposed renaming the paper The Panopticon but having the paper owned by the Historical Society puts certain limits on what he can do.
DT: Whoa check out the manicure on Lizz! I might have to take a cold shower now.
JP: Word up to the coloring monkeys for that oddly placed shrubbery. It’s the first blue bush I’ve seen since the last time I looked at NSFW Simpsons fanart.
MW: Jeff being the last of Mary’s social circle to find out about her Thanksgiving plans confirms that they’re a couple only defined as “two people who sort of know each other.”
Phantom: If the thing about Avarice’s talking being it’s biggest threat is a joke on how much of a bore it is, I’ve already made it. If Kit thinks he’s making a serious point about misinformation, I’m going to sidestep the politics of the thing and point out that this elaborate crash test dummy is currently muttering to itself in the middle of an Afrotropical forest.
S&S: The town is so old fashioned that there are rumor’s it’s actually being featured in a syndicated comic strip.
@astroboy: I have friends with beards and hair that could be described as looking very roughly sorta kinda like Skip’s beard and hair. But Skip has something special going on. Maybe it’s his patented Sheep Butt Chin, maybe it’s the shredded-office-paper look of what’s tumbling out of the back of his hat. Whatever it is, yuck.
@I speak Jive: Now that you’ve called attention to the hat…*stares at the hat*…ewwwww, you are right.
LUANN: Why are they talking right into each other’s faces with only eight inches between them? Are they trying to avoid being overheard by hidden microphones or something?
@Guillermo el chiclero: Yes. The pinned up sleeve is a very close second – maybe tied with the hat. I remember many discussions here years ago about Becky’s pinned up sleeve, with your point about a prosthetic arm being one of the topics. My guess as to why Becky never got a prosthetic arm – the pinned up sleeve is Becky’s badge of suffering. Not improving her life allows Becky to wallow in the tragedy of her injury. Batiuk seems to think that he’s written a great tragedy, but it’s just another half assed case of Shit Happens. (Like Saint Lisa’s misdiagnosis, but I don’t want to get started on that.)
Ye gods, even KAREN MOY gave her one armed character a prosthetic arm!
If there was an explanation of how Skip lost his arm, I don’t remember it. I really don’t want to know. I bet it’s a quarter inch from reality, though.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Re 9CL – There is a way to tell the twins apart – now one of them parts her hair on the right, and the other one has a part on the left. Don’t ask me which is which.
@Vanya: No kidding. So what do Army guys drive around in these days?
I like to think Volkswagen Beetles, but that just couldn’t be right.
@I speak Jive: @Guillermo el chiclero: @Poteet: You cut me to the quick. I own three flat caps, the workingman’s classic. Two from Ireland, which make me look like I’m heading for a ten hour shift down mill; and one from the famous men’s hat street in London, which makes me look like I’m off to a grouse hunt at a Stately Home.
Paradoxical, but only part of the rich cultural legacy, symbology, and mystique of the flat cap. “Thug cap,” hmmmph.
Skip Towne is probably just one of those dicks who look stupid in hats.
@astroboy: Cool. I hear every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Skip and Becky should share a dose of Dr. Connors’s Lizard Serum. This strip could use a few more deadly super-strong giant reptiles.
@Ukulele Ike: I’m sure that you look great in your flat cap. Mr. Jive owns at least one, and he looks fine in his.
Although I did a lot of piling on with the hat, it isn’t the hat per se. It’s the whole picture – everything about an annoying character is something to hate. To use an old meme, I’d be hateful and critical if Skip were eating crackers like he owned the place.
Wear your flat caps proudly. I won’t criticize you.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Re: JP: Blue shrubbery? Considering they’re walking through the West Village, that’s more likely to be an enormous pile of stinky garbage bags.
@I speak Jive: Thanks. If I stuck my IWW button into the hatband of a fine Homburg I would feel ridiculous.
@Dennis Jimenez:
Aw man, too bad it’s way too late to cast Sidney Blackmer as Mr. Wilson.
@Ukulele Ike: Could be. Would certainly make more sense. It just looked shrubby to me.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: I hear ya. I have the same condition; my ophthalmologist calls it “Shrub Vision.” The only relief is regular doses of medicinal Bourbon, over ice with a little soda water.
@Ukulele Ike: #119: At least I didn’t call it a newsboy cap. The term thug cap comes from the fact that the flat cap was long universal cartoon and movie shorthand to denote a criminal. Early in the last century they were also known as pancake lids.
DtM: “Cause I’m what they call unpredictable!” “And that, son, is why you need to recite the Calling of Qnzlh with me. As with all of our family, your chaos will be drained to feed Him. Your suit and tie are already in your wardrobe.”