Based on how they look and their and sexual chemistry, it should be Luke/Leia honestly
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Pluggers, 1/26/25
It’s interesting that the caption tells us that “pluggers know when they are ready for an upgrade” when the older dog-man very clearly does not know that it’s time for him to update his hearing aids. The implication casts him outside the bounds of the plugger community, which is chilling: is the age of the Boomer pluggers ending, and the era of Gen X pluggerdom, its hour come round at last, slouching towards the Pluggers HQ P.O. Box to be born? This new generation is represented by the younger dog man here, and yeah, I know these characters all have names, but I’ve been blogging about this damn strip for 18 years and I haven’t learned them yet and I’m simply not going to. I mean, let’s be real, that plugger dog-man is in his 50s, he’s got hearing aids, he’s annoyed by his elders, he’s me. That’s me there, the younger plugger dog-man. I don’t need to know his name. Anyway, I guess they’re out here in the snow because he’s going to put the older dog-man on an ice floe and then walk away.
Dennis the Menace, 1/26/25
I actually find today’s Dennis the Menace kind of charming — not, I feel I need to be clear after writing that last paragraph, because I find it relatable, I have no “plugger”-style problem in that department, thanks. I just like two specific panels: the one where Mr. Wilson emits one of his trademark beads of sweat as he announces the lack of bran cereal, as he is all too aware of the stakes here; and the one where Mrs. Wilson leans down to whisper “it keeps him moving” to Dennis, as if he has any idea what that’s supposed to mean. He’s five years old and not very bright, Martha! You gotta actually say the word “poop” if you expect him to follow what’s going on here!
Mary Worth, 1/26/25
Look, obviously Dirk is an asshole and a creep. But what about Jared, who took up his girlfriend’s idea about doing a photoshoot and immediately turned it into an opportunity for Star Wars cosplay? Isn’t that just as bad? No, obviously not. But it’s not good.
156 replies to “Based on how they look and their and sexual chemistry, it should be Luke/Leia honestly”
MW:
Whenever I exit a freeway to have a meal at a diner, I like to sit in a Tolle booth.
— Eckhart Tolle
MW:
“I didst espy Dirk Tandy engaged in a game of tenpins with the legendary folk hero of Switzerland and his son. And therefore never send to know for whom the Tells bowl; they bowl for thee.”
— John Donne
MW-“Lower, Dawn, and underneath the table.”
MW-“Dirk wants to do something called menage a trois.”
RMMD-Suddenly Mary Worth’s ears perk up at the mention of worth. “Wilbur, that’s your cue.”
Slylock Fox-Slylock won’t find the things that were added to his salad.
MW: Look, Dirk. I know you’re just trying to help her but it’s better to dump this slob than be deemed a jerk.
MW:
“Help us! We’re morphing into Keane paintings in the last panel!”
Pluggers: It’s fun to draw old people as animals, but it’s not without its challenges. For instance, you might have to contemplate how a hearing aid might look on a set of big floppy ears. Do they go all the way around and then somehow in? Would it make more sense just to have them as clip-ons? Just be glad that it wasn’t a lady who wrote in, forcing you to think about how to attach them on a chicken.
DtM: I see the title panel is noticeably blank today. I imagine that the first draft had a drawing of Mr Wilson straining on the toilet before an editor crossed it out.
MW: There’s a lot wrong with Dawn and Dirk’s relationship, but the fact that they’re doing a ‘couples photo shoot’ after a moth really should be a sign for both of them to reconsider seeing each other ever again.
DTM: Dennis knows exactly what Martha means. Mr Wilson is just trying and failing to have a shit at the dining table.
MW: Normally I feel sorry for the people whose newspapers cut out the throwaway panels. But given that they got to avoid being scarred by the “Dawn appears to give her boyfriend a handjob under the table” fakeout, today I envy them.
MW: Dawn shows up to the photo shoot eating a bag of ribs. Dirk’s head explodes.
A New Earth: Awakening To Your LIfe’s Purpose (2005), p. 100. You win this round, Mary Worth.
Dawn made sure to say “doing a couples photo shoot together” to dash Jared’s hopes of a swap.
MW – USA Today didn’t give us the throwaway panels and Josh mde me see it! EWWWW!
FC: Billy dreams of a heated outhouse; and frankly, I’m all for it.
MW: Wait, whatever on her face is on the side away from Dirk. Does he have X-ray vision now?
MW: “Oh, shit”, thinks Jared. “I hope he doesn’t notice the ketchup down her cleavage.”
MW: At least Jared didn’t suggest Han and Chewie.
RMMD: Another graduate of The Wilbur Weston Academy of Babe-Nabbing.
Luann Spanish to English.
DtM: I rarely pay attention to the first-panel titles, but “Rough Age” is actually kind of clever. “Dennis” has briefly redeemed itself.
DtM – So this is what Marvin has to look forward to in 70 years.
B. Bailey: Another anachronism.
It used to be customary to send or give a woman roses the day after the first night you screwed her but nowadays a simple text will do.
@Hibbleton: Yes, but Otto can’t text.
JP: “[You’re a] know-it-all who doesn’t know a thing!”
She may have been missing for twenty-odd years but apparently Ann’s been reading the strip.
The shocking revelation at the end of this Mary Worth storyline: Dirk is a dentist, and he’s passionate about what he does, hence his utter fucking obsession with clean mouths.
Shoe: You don’t necessarily have to be drunk to do karaoke, but you definitely have to be drunk to sing a song that goes “What device tells you/you’ve had too much to drink”
Pooping is the only thing that keeps Mr Wilson awake. The world of the wake holds no attraction to him, he will return to sleep if there is no opportunity for pooping
MW — I’d say that Dawn is attracted to men like her father, but I simply can’t imagine Wilbur having the gall to tell someone else to wipe their mouth, or even knowing it was something people did..
MW – The worst thing Wilbur ever did was not telling his friends and family that he survived a fall off a ship. Even being a drunken slob at a restaurant in a double date with his ex didn’t rise to the level of abuse.
Was it Dawn’s mother that made her think that abuse was normal and she should simply grovel and accept it?
How soon will Dirk start slapping her around if she displeases him?
When will Jared grow a spine and talk to Dawn privately about this? Or Jared’s girlfriend, who presumably knows all about abusive relationships?
Pluggers know when they’re ready for an upgrade. Then they upgrade the household by encouraging senile half-deaf relatives to go out aimlessly wandering into a snowstorm in the middle of the night.
Pluggers – Yeah – well you, too, and the horse you rode in on….
DtM – It keeps him shitting. Well, it isn’t working, cuz he’s still full of shit….
MW – Wasn’t it here some plot line in the Worthiverse where a character found affirmation when their romantic partner reached out to save them when nearly taking a mountain fall? I don’t think Dawn and Dirk have that kind of connection….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Has anyone heard from Baja or jroggs recently?
Every time I see ‘babe’ in MW (and in today’s RMMD) I now can’t help hearing it in the phoney deep voice Bingo from ‘Bluey’ puts on when she pretends she’s Bluey’s husband in a little trilby hat and fake mustache. ‘No problem, baaabe!’ [wink and thumbs up]
@Hibbleton: Missing next panel:
“…Just like everyone else in this strip for the past ten years! Do you suddenly have an inexplicable affinity for the ‘Star Wars Holiday Special’ too?”
MW: I kind of like the idea of Jared as Han Solo–specifically the Han who ends up getting skewered by his bitter, resentful emo son.
MW, Sunday Quote Edition: I get what you’re saying here, Ekhart, but I would argue that outside approval/disapproval is not something to be ignored outright. Like, if I did something that, say, Ed Crankshaft or Wilbur Weston approved of, it would lead me to seriously reflect on my life choices.
MW, Extended Rant Edition: This arc infuriates me, not because it’s bad–that’s par for the course–but because it actually has the potential to be good, more so than any Mary Worth story in recent memory. The abusive behavior patterns shown in it are accurate, often disturbingly so, but they’re hobbled by the strip’s sledgehammer approach to character and treatment of women as passive, ignorant victims in need of male protection.* If I were Karen Moy’s beta reader, here’s what I would suggest:
1.) Don’t show Dawn hooking up with Dirk. This means you have to break out the obviously abusive behavior on their second date, making Dawn look like an idiot for putting up with him. Instead have some establishing dialogue introducing Dirk and saying they’ve been going out for a few weeks. Maybe have a scene where Dawn says she was on a vegan diet, but gave it up because “Dirk didn’t like it” while Mary frowns suspiciously.
2.) Let Dirk be charming in public. Abusers–at least successful ones–are not “on” 24-7, but save their violent/controlling behaviors for when they have the victim alone. If Dirk were friendly–if a bit boisterous–while with Dawn’s friend, it would be more true to life.
3.) Involve Jess. She’s an abuse survivor. She’s been where Dawn is right now. Maybe she sees some tells from Dirk the others don’t. Maybe she pulls Dawn aside and asks if everything is okay, or hints where she can find help “if she needs it.” Maybe Dirk gets suspicious of her and tries to isolate Dawn from her (another abuse tactic). But for God’s sake, don’t just have her sitting next to Jared with a confused look on her face while he glowers suspiciously and thinks “I have a bad feeling about this” thoughts.
4.) Jared should actually think “I have a bad feeling about this.” He’s a Star Wars nerd, it comes with the territory.
*Mary, being an elder god from outside of time and space, is not subject to this rule.
CS: Crankshaft said he’s going to put something in the oven and these two morons just sit there and let him? Okay, serves ’em right. If he asks where the lighter fluid is, are you going to tell him you keep it in the basement next to the furnace?
RMMD: When Summer’s next date snaps at her to wipe the food off her face and calls her pig girl, she swoons.
C’shaft: So we’re just ignoring jokes in favor of boring non-specific dialogue, huh?
DT: “It keeps reminding me about all the unhealthy habits that I want to ignore or refuse to give up, and my wife does that already.”
JP: As the kids these days say, no lies detected.
RMMD: I will forgive this entire set up if Summer ends up hooking up with Rene Belluso in another one of his wacky disguises.
DtM – Mrs. Wilson is laughing because Dennis used the adjective “good” instead of the adverb “well” to modify the verb phrase “it’s not working.” Kids make the darndest grammatical errors.
What’s more unbelievable, anthro bears, hounds, and chickens, or that the vast majority of Pluggers really wear their hearing aids rather than shove them to the back of their sock drawer?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Aha! Shooting craps without cutting me in on the action?”
“We’re using invisible dice, but we remember what they formerly looked like! Do you still want to play?”
“Are you kidding? Of course I want to play…”
“I brought my own set of invisible dice!”
MW: Dirk has a point, although it is lost in the presentation. What we’re all seeing give Dirk power fits is the result of being raised by Wilbur. No adult should eat like a three-year-old.
MW- Dawn is really dumb enough to mistake a sex tape for a couples shoot
Max the rodent cringes when he sees the bug on Slylock’s food. “Hey! That’s my salad!“
DtM: Mr. Wilson stares in consternation at a noodle inexplicably left stuck to the wall.
DtM: “Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z” Wilson closes his eyes and daydreams of the buzzsaw cutting through Dennis’ torso.
What? Star *Wars* cosplay? I’ll have you know that the only cosplay worth cosplaying is Star *Trek* cosplay, Josh Fruhlinger. Where are Jess’ pointy Vulcan ears and Jared’s rubber Klingon forehead, then?
I enjoy the last panel of DTM where Mr Wilson has just fallen asleep at the kitchen table after being tired out from his rant about bran cereal.
DT: I’m not sure why cutting the wire isn’t something the uniform cop we saw on Friday in contact with Lizz couldn’t have done before Dick arrived at the absolute last second, except, of course, that that wouldn’t give Dick the opportunity to run through a crowd yelling that people need to get out of his way.
FC: Fun idea, Keane parents, and I’m absolutely sure that PJ and Jeffy will both understand that this isn’t to give them another go.
HtH: Boy, Hägar’s so mad that they’ve spent all their money on some kind of package holiday! If only he owned his own boat or something!
JP: Uh-oh, Ces, it looks like we’re getting to a point where Ann might actually explain what happened, which means you need to explain what happened! Better have Randy yell more random stuff to interupt her!
MW: To be fair to Jared (although, to paraphrase Douglas Adams, I don’t see any reason to do so beyond the intellectual exercise), it’s worth remembering that while he is, of course, the kind of Star Wars fan who named his cat “Mister Solo”, Jess is the kind of Star Wars fan who named her cat “Miz Leia”, so he at least has reason to think she’d be open to this.
Phantom: I like that, because this is a historical adventure, they’re new jungle sayings. I don’t like that Ye Olde Stripey’s reaction to the narrator explaining this is to glare at me.
Dennis the Menace: Martha, Martha, Martha. . . . The whole point of the euphonism is that you can say it out loud.
Mary Worth: So, when do the “Dawn, wipe your face!” tee shirts become available at the Comics Curmudgeon Gift Shop?
Mother Goose: The logistics of operating a pizza place that provides all this stuff in addition to a pizza must be incredibly difficult. Think about how many lamps and tricycles and telephones they would have to keep and how much space it would take up, not to mention the cost involved. Also that order being carried altogether must weigh nearly 100lbs. I hope that delivery person gets a good tip.
DtM came close to making a poop joke — very close — but they stopped short. Wisely. Because poop jokes are Marvin’s territory. The lines have been firmly established. They’ve even signed a consent decree to that effect. If DtM doesn’t want to get sued, they’ll stay in their lane (jokes about a kid who has inexplicably moved into his next door neighbors’ house).
I appreciate the construction of the joke in Pluggers, where the mustached dog-man mistakes “What kind do you have?” for “What time do you have,” which could happen to anybody. But here’s how I think Pluggers interact with their hearing aids.
Actual exchange with my father, who was a real Plugger:
Dad: These new hearing aids are great! Why, I can hear that clock ticking on the mantel!
Me: That’s great, Dad!
Dad: What?
Jump Start: You’d think that in a comic about a Black family it would not want to use a term like grease-monkey. I know the person saying it is White but I personally wouldn’t even tread there.
Marvin: I wonder if the colorist at the syndicate didn’t know that the “Minions” character is famously yellow. There have been 6 of those movies that have been popular for over 10 years!
Baby Blues: “I was thinking about how cool it is that if I’m prosecuted as a juvenile they can only keep me incarcerated until I turn 21”
Mary Worth – If Dawn can’t get food to her mouth without getting it all over her face, maybe she should see a neurologist.
Sherman’s Lagoon – The artwork is always fun, but I especially love it today. The snooty waiter’s mustache! The lobsters in the tank!
Speed Bump – An episode of Barney Miller clarified that white wine goes with opossum. I’m sure that it would go with squirrel, too.
Rex Morgan – Don’t tell me – this guy is a successful divorced pharmacist.
@Nekrotzar:
It’s been strongly suggested that Dennis still uses diapers. He has a noticeable sag in his overalls and is often drawn with a puddle at his feet. Even Hank Ketcham commented that Dennis looks like a kid with a load in his pants. The reason why Dennis is beloved and Marvin will never be is because Dennis has the sense to keep it on the down-low.
Dagwood- So Mr. Dithers has to report to the board of directors? Stockholders?? I thought he owned the company. I’ve never heard of a board meeting or shareholders meeting. Never seen the chair of the board never had him reporting to the finance committee and nothing in the company name indicates that it’s a corporation. Is this the first time that this has been brought up? Or have I missed something?
Hi and Lois: I’m not buying that Hi can easily pick up and toss around his elementary age children. They must weigh over 60lbs and Hi just doesn’t look like he’s in particularly good physical shape.
If Jared and Jess play Han Solo and Leia, who do Dirk and Dawn play? Svengali and Trilby? Ike and Tina? That TWIN PEAKS couple Leo and Shelley?
@Bob Tice: @Bob Tice: #1, 2
*STANDING OVATION*
P.S. Have you read today’s “Pearls Before Swine”?
@Lauralot: Looks like jroggs’ most recent post was last Sunday, complaining about a political comment someone else had made (and not getting a ton of support for the complaint from other commenters). Hm. This was taking off from Mary Worth quoting Robert E. Lee, but the comment they were objecting to had some more contemporary valence.
@TheDiva: Given that Jess “solved” her issues by hooking up with her medical attendant (and unofficial, unlicensed “grief counselor”) and spend the remanding storyline plague with insecurity that the remaining bruises made her “unattractive” to said “grief counselor”…maybe don’t involve her so much.
Curtis: This kind of power, to be able to detect exact denominations of money just by smell would be highly profitable. At the very least he could get a Vegas show, but I think law enforcement would also pay him to help with raids and such.
Grampa Dawg’s hearing issues could be easily fixed by a qualified groomer.
Dennis – I hate it when they show the “director’s cut.”
Also, time once again for a finger-wagging repost of this My Cage classic.
@White Rabbit: #48
“Uh, Dad, there’s no clock on the mantel…”
The “They’ll Do it Every Time” envisioned a prehistoric American infrastructure project, and Budget Director Roy L. Ash expressed concern that America was drifting toward socialism. Meanwhile Hawaiians expressed disgust at smelly crackers issued by the federal government as survivor rations in the event of nuclear war.
In Steven Canyon, Communist advisors threatened to destroy a city in the “Thoan Kingdom” with a nuclear missile.
The AP reported that Dr. Malcolm Bagshaw of Stanford had announced a new cancer treatment tool involving a stream of miniature nuclear explosions.
One hundred years ago today, Barney Google said he felt “as gay as the guy who sweeps out the morgue. Salesman Sam considered moving in with a friend.
One hundred years ago today, Barney Google said he felt “as gay as the guy who sweeps out the morgue. Salesman Sam considered moving in with a friend. Cotton broker William J. Black denied that he had been dead for half a century.
When does Dirk start calling Dawn “Gerber™ Girl?
@Peanut Gallery: #60
Thank you!! I adore “My Cage!”
Now, Dirk might be a manipulative asshole, but frankly Dawn needs someone to tell her to wipe her mouth clean, because her parents clearly did not teach her when she was five
MW Has Dirk given Dawn a concussion and that’s why she can’t even put food in her mouth and slaps it on her cheek instead, as well as being incapable of putting ketchup on a plate?
Take her to the ER Jared, STAT!
When you are young like Dennis, you’re full of energy, your wounds heal quickly and illness is just an inconvenience. Old men like Mr Wilson are slave to their body. Not only they must spend a ton of efforts and money to stay alive, but their thoughts and humour depends entirely of physical conditions, like the lack of constipation. This flesh prison is a nightmare, the Demiurge is really menacing!
Dirk switched from being a leftie, which meant his arm would constantly bump Dawn’s, to being a rightie. Huh?
Most lefties I know take the corner of the table that minimizes the chance of rubbing elbows with their dining companions..
“Pluggers know when they are ready for an upgrade”. Unfortunately, my proposed crossover between “Pluggers” and “Altered Carbon” was met with very little interest not just by Netflix, but also AO3
“Pluggers know when they are ready for an upgrade”. This is about the little blue pill
@Johnny Q: If Jared and Jess play Han Solo and Leia, who do Dirk and Dawn play?
______________________________
Hi and Trixie Flagston. The parts of “Lois” and ” Thursty” are still up for grabs for anyone interested in a three way.
Red Jacket Plugger: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Steaks on fire off the grill at Benihana. I watched Katarina Witt glitter in the dark at the Calgary Olympics. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
PV: “Everybody get out! Valiant, give me your sword. And the key to that backdoor over there. And a horse.
Then leave me alone with the son and grandson of my mortal enemies so I can give era-appropriate mystical magical medical care to poor old Arn.
Let the amputating begin!”
MW: Good. Use your aggressive feelings, Jared. Let the not liking this guy flow through you.
Hey, Jared saw an opportunity to get his lady into the Leia bikini, so he took his shot. And I gotta respect that.
Low and Hi-less: Good thing no-one can hear Trixie’s thoughts…her thought balloon could be taken two ways by someone with a dirty mind. (aka 69% of the Mudges)
@55 Daisy:
Read it? He wrote it.
@Comrade Gordon: Hey, Jared saw an opportunity to get his lady into the Leia bikini, so he took his shot. And I gotta respect that
__________________________
How does he get her chained to Willburp the Hutt?
The Weston family are all such losers. Dawn can’t even Vulcan neck pinch properly! Do you think Sarek gave accidental neck massages until he learned the proper technique?
***
Between the adult Dawn getting food all over her face as she eats and Mr. Wilson falling asleep as soon as he sat down at the table, are today’s comics all about undiagnosed medical problems? Maybe Rex Morgan should stop whatever nonsense is currently going on in his strip and do his damned job.
@UncleJeff: I can give era-appropriate mystical magical medical care to poor old Arn.
Let the amputating begin!”
_________________________
The Magical Medical Care is coming to take your limbs away/coming to take them away/take them today. (Yllaer Daed Si Gits)
@GarrisonSkunk: I never even thought of that connection.
Great catch!
Dennis Minus Menace: Dennis turns the comic around into an ad for Morning Funnies™ cereal, in a dastardly plan to kill off his remaining readership by getting them addicted to expired cereal bought off Ebay.— menace level : Don Draper.
Speaking of….has anyone ever submitted “Garage sales are the Plugger eBay?”
PV: What, leave you my pweciouuus? Do you know many people I had to kill to get it back?
RMMD: If I were Summer I’d veto that guy for his June Morgan hairdo.
RMMD: Psst, Summer. That’s no dude. That’s June Morgan with a pasted on goatee.
@UncleJeff: Thanks :)
Pluggers — Wait…what? They have names?
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: Mary Worth: So, when do the “Dawn, wipe your face!” tee shirts become available at the Comics Curmudgeon Gift Shop?
__________________________________________________
Don’t forget the “Nerdgirl” merch.
MW: It’s hard to pick just which of these four is the most insufferable person at the table because all of them are grossly unlikable.
-Dawn’s a shallow, ignorant slob who eats like a toddler and thinks that Dirk’s flimsy excuses are justified for him treating her like garbage.
-Dirk’s an obvious case of someone who has never been told the words “no” or “stop,” waves so many red flags that he might as well be speaking in semaphore, and is as superficially charming as a badly written sitcom boyfriend.
-Jared is a spineless creep who can barely be trusted with washing bedpans and despite supposedly being “just friends” with Dawn and in a new relationship, he thinks that telling her to get out of an obviously abusive relationship must mean that he’s jealous.
-Jess should be the most alert about Dirk’s behavior but because she’s dating Jared, who is about as formidable as a jellyfish on land, and the Worthiverse can’t have the womenfolk be stronger than the men, she might as well be replaced by an inflatable doll with how much impact she has here.
LURCH INTO ADVENTURE with Mara Llave: Keister of Time!!!!
Sometime in February. Maybe. We’ll see.
Popeye: The ubiquity of shallow Lovecraft references in pop culture is at a level that would have embarrassed ol’ HPL to pieces and had even August Derleth writing complaint letters to editors, but today’s last panel makes up for the cringe. Well done, Milholland.
@Unca Bob:
We’ve also never seen Dithers report to HR for his years of abuse.
It just hit me just why, out of the kiddy pool of Dawn’s social group, Moy decided to go with Jared and his inflatable girlfriend. When Dawn was sneaking out behind Jared’s back to grind on “aesthetically pleasing” guys, her friend Cathy (Ack!) called her out on her behavior. If Cathy (Ack!) went on the double date, she would say something to Dawn about how much of a Richard her boyfriend is and the conflict would switch to Dawn getting a restraining order.
But Moy loves this creepy geek about as much as she loves Wilbur so obviously he’s going to find his gravel sized pebbles and be the hero.
@Schroduck: “What device tells you/you’ve had too much to drink”
_________________________________________
“I know when to stop drinking! When the pretzels start dancing! ALL of them start dancing! the TANGO! OK, I’ve had enough.” – Rev. Jim Ignotowski.
@Ukulele Ike: I have been alerted that the Seattle Times/Comic Kingdom Popeye, linked above, is a reprint. The real January 26 Popeye can be found on Arcamax. It’s another comment on copyright and things going into the public domain, and it’s real funny also and well worth the googling.
@Ukulele Ike: Popeye: The first strip you linked, with the sea hag and the monster, ran in today’s print Washington Post.
Can we cut to the part where Jess steals Dirk away from Dawn and everyone can start shipping “Jerk” (hopefully to Abu Dabi hearing Dirk’s muffled “I knew you were nothing but a bunch of Garfield Girls!” coming from within the crate.
@GarrisonSkunk: Jess might have the worst taste in men but even she wouldn’t be around Dirk…though I think the real Jess was replaced by a mannequin that Jared found.
@Tom T.: The Post is treading lightly with the Disney Corporation. Or maybe they’re ascairt of Big Tintin.
@Liam: You’re absolutely correct. I personally know a company where the CEO abused his staff and one staff member went straight to the board of directors and the board appointed a law firm to come in and investigate him. So yeah how come no one goes to HR?
FC: Bil comes in ready to paint, with a dripping paint can (I hope it’s primer to cover all those marks on the wall) no drop cloth, ladder, or other supplies except a pan and roller. And we wonder why the kids are so stupid.
@Unca Bob: Dithers owns the company, it’s not publicly traded, there is no board of directors, there is no HR department?
I’m no scholar of capitalist industrial history (from the union/labor side, yeah, cuz I’m a Wobbly) but isn’t this the way a LOT of businesses worked back in th’ day?
MW: Obviously, given Jared’s hairstyle, “Han and Leia” was a last-minute swap for “Luke and Leia.” But Jared is indeed a controlling creep so Jared’s sexuality being based on Skywalker sib-fic will have to wait for another day.
@Daisy:
I have now!
ME: Dirk grows up to be the guy Summer is dating in RMMD.
PV:. I’m so glad Arthur’s smarter sister is back. But aren’t the other witches, Aleta et al, her friends and coven mates?
How many times is Mary Worth going to do more-or-less this same strip of shitty boyfriend antics before they finally allow Dawn to learn a lesson, a week? A month? Eventually the strip’s creators will realize they haven’t shown us Wilbur in a while with all the hate-clicks that ensue from that.
C-Shaft: In case you were wondering whether any part of Crankshaft-Murdoch family life was too boring and unfunny to include in the strip.
DT: Junior’s Plan B was to turn tail and run while waving his fists around like a colicky infant?
FC: And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Billy (age 7) , King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
JP: Randy Parker has always felt that his sister is irredeemable and incapable of love, which is to say he’s thought so for the last half hour, which is all he can remember. Sooner or later he’ll be all for her again, after another coconut falls on his head.
Luann: Greg Evans’s signature is so central it looks like Luann is deeply contemplating the people who created her, which is as philosophical as she ever gets.
RMMD: At least the Rex Morgan version of Dirk has a more original fashion sense.
S4th: Sally’s already forgotten that a giggle is just a kind of laugh so maybe go with something less high-test.
SlylickFox And Komix For Kinx: It was Zorro Zebra, he left his mark on the waiter’s apron.
@Jeffmcm: How long will Mary Worth go over and over the same material? Do you remember “Dogs are good?”
PV: Witch covens normally perform their rituals in the nude, that’s why all the men are being rushed out.
@Bob Tice: Switzerland and his son.
__________________________
Great! Now I have their theme earworming my brain…bump bump bump ba da bump bump bump da da dada da da dum da da dotdadadot.
@Jeffmcm: MW: yep, I get it. Dirk is a piece of shit with narry a redeeming quality. Let’s move on. If this is leading to Dirk beating Dawn up for a smudge beside her mouth let it happen. If this is leading to a fight twixt Jared and Dirk let it happen. Get on with it.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Morgan doesn’t want to see Val’s mighty sword in his hand while she is practicing her Magicks.
@I speak Jive: If this is going to continue, I wish MW would cover a little more red-flag material. He hasn’t tried to isolate her from friends and family yet, nor has he urged her to quit her normal activities to spend more time with him, and he hasn’t accused her of being unfaithful. But I’d be very willing to see this end quickly. It’s yucky enough.
Now I scorn Mary Worth for missing out on the opportunity for a PRIMO Blake’s Seven reference! Which I wouldn’t get, but they would be forcing you to SHOW YOURSELVES.
Mary Worth – Dawn the doormat – Sheesh – Tell Dirk to fuck off already and also tell him to jump off a cliff and do the world a favor.
@TheDiva:
C’shaft: So we’re just ignoring jokes in favor of boring non-specific dialogue, huh?
Batiuk must have joined the Walker/Browne syndicate.
FC: I hope Bil realizes that those scribblings are going to bleed through the first one or two coats of paint.
MW: If enjoying an impromptu massage is yet another of the signs of being a controlling, gaslighting abuser, how many of us can truly plead innocent?
@I speak Jive: Sherman’s Lagoon: And Megan shows what happens to snitches in the lagoon.
There’s a shell game going on in Thatababy.
@Bob Tice: “Help us! We’re morphing into Keane paintings in the last panel!”
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Great! After he turns into Jeffy, Dawn can call Dirk ” Melonhead Man”.
@Poteet: He hasn’t tried to isolate her from friends and family yet,
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Would isolation from Wilber be such a bad thing?
@GarrisonSkunk:
Absolutely not! We’ve been isolated from Wilbur, and how totally awesome do you feel! I just cured cancer!
@Tom T.: The copyright Popeye appears on the Comics Kingdom site, too. What gives?
@Mr Beardo: tell him to jump off a cliff and do the world a favor.
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Too late! Dawn already submitted Dirk Tandy flavored potato chips to the next Lays/Walkers “Do the World A Flavor” contest.
Mary Worth: Later that evening… “Clench your sphincter after I’m all the way in, Dawn! How many times do I have to tell you?”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: FC: And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Billy (age 7) , King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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“Look,Spock! it etched in the wall with acid, NO MALAPROP I! ,Does it mean it won’t malaprop us, or is it a plea for us to not malaprop it?”
@Craig!: Admittedly he and Dawn do have a certain Orrin Scrivello/Audrey dynamic.
Pluggers: Pluggers know you get hearing aids from engaging in unsafe aural sex.
DTM:
Goofus forgets to buy bran cereal at the grocery store.
Gallant keeps a supply of bran cereal in the pantry at all times. Gallant is rewarded with a bathroom that’s impossible to keep clean due to Gallant’s spouse’s constant shitstorms. Goofus laffs and laffs. Goofus is not so dumb, you know. Goofus is a plugger, literally.
@Bull City: Well done!
@122 Dr. Pill:
What’s interesting is the Spanish version of Popeye at Comics Kindom is the same as the Arcamax version except it’s translated to Spanish.
Slylock: Where is Cassandra Cat? Olive Oyl is a poor substitute. I can’t wank to this. (Okay, a kid submitted a drawing of a sex doll, but I WON’T wank to underage art. I have my morals to worry about.)
@Lord Flatulence: Well done!
Batty, totally.
@Hibbleton: MW: “Oh, shit”, thinks Jared. “I hope he doesn’t notice the ketchup down her cleavage.”
___________________________________________
He’ll just lick that off.
@Maude R. Fawker:
Oh thats just nasty .
@Anonymous: Oh thats just nasty
*bow* *curtsy* *twirl*
I live to serve.
@235 Maude R. Fawker:
Or would that be “live to cervix”?
@Sequitur: Or would that be “live to cervix”?
Cervix is not configured for this user. Please unmount and try again, or contact testicle support for assistance.
@137 Maude R. Fawker:
ERROR 403
Forbidden
Pluggers: his name is Josh FURhlinger
@139 JustSomeGuy:
His name is also JOSH.
@Sequitur: ERROR 403 Forbidden
ERROR 69
TRY AGAIN ANYWAY?
FAIL AGAIN
@141 Maude R. Fawker:
Hey!! Leave Scratchy out of this!
@GarrisonSkunk: It’s only Sunday, and yet your comment may be one of the saddest commentaries on Dawn’s sad life that will appear on CC this week.
PV: Morgan is going to pass Val’s sword back and forth over Arn’s head so it can serve as some kind of primitive magical MRI machine. Oboy.
Pluggers – Due to the rapid advance of technology, and the rejection of the prior generation’s wisdom in favor of short-term gain consuming their inheritance and their children’s and grandchildren’s futures, the Boomers are the first generation to not has any useful advice to hand down to the next generation, whether about leading a good life, aging with grace, or what sort of hearing aids to wear.
Dennis the Menace – When the PR pioneer Edward Bernays was asked to increase sales of anything, he never did it directly, he made the product tied to something else. To get women smoking he launched the cynical faux-femiinist “Torches for Freedom” campaign, or when he used bad science and survey work to convince people bacon should be eaten for breakfast.
While this soft-sells the benefits of bran cereal to the older readership, it is wrapped in a light sweet (like Necco Wafers) story of a young kid not understanding a euphemism of bowel movements. And wouldn’t you know, there are coupons for various bran cereals tucked next to the comics section!
Mary Worth – Dawn went from a mature attempt at a vegan diet, want back to a standard omnivorous diet on Dirk’s demand, and is now regressing to an infantile state of a messy eater. How long until she loses complex vocabulary, then normal bowel control?
Nope, as much as I hate to say this, we need Mary’s intervention before this turns into a horror show that would frighten even the creators of Marvin!
Just to let you know….
Tomorrow, in Mary Worth, Dirk is in the Weston’s apartment drinking Wilbur’s “Beer Boar” beer.
He also cusses at Dawn.
@Sequitur: And I’ll bet she doesn’t cuss back. Gaaah.
@Sequitur: He also cusses at Dawn.
She needs to dump the motherfucker.
@Craig!: The shocking revelation at the end of this Mary Worth storyline: Dirk is a dentist, and he’s passionate about what he does, hence his utter fucking obsession with clean mouths.
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Four out of five Dirks recommend Trident™ to their girl friends who habitually get gum all over their face.
@147 Poteet: and @148 Abomynous:
You are both correct. Here it is.
@149 GarrisonSkunk:
*snicker*
@Hibbleton: “I hope he doesn’t notice the ketchup down her cleavage.”
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“Play KETCHUP DOWN YOUR CLEAVAGE! after you play MUDDY BOOTS, of course!”
There’s ketchup down your cleavage, there’s mustard in your muff/ you,my dear are a walking condiment isle when you’re standing in the buff.
Lyrics to Ketchup Down Your Cleavage are ©2025 Buck Naked Music Publishing.
@Sequitur: You are both correct. Here it is.
Ya know, I was just making polite conversation. If I actually wanted a lookahead I’d pay for the service.
@153 Abomynous:
If you went to Comics Kingdom Monday is already available at this time.
Mary’s Worst: Which of our brainiac foursome said,”Hey Joe’s must be good, cartoons keep telling us to eat there!”
@Bob Tice: MW:
Whenever I exit a freeway to have a meal at a diner, I like to sit in a Tolle booth
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….munching chocolate chip cookies.