That’s not how eggs work. I don’t think? I’m not a biologist
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Gil Thorp, 3/6/25
Damn, Gil Thorp really has become a playground for amoral narrative outcomes. First Marty falls off the wagon and improves his drip immeasurably, then Coach Gerads bounces back from being beaten up by his own students to become the insouciant antihero of the Valley Conference. Goshen’s defeat of Milford on the football field presumably drove a local car dealership out of business, but Coach Gerads clearly doesn’t care who he drags down to hell with him.
Wizard of Id, 3/6/25
You guys know how I’ve been adding some old reliables into my rotation again? Well, Wizard of Id is on the list, but I haven’t really talked about it here because it’s frankly even more dire (in a boring, non-fun way) than I remembered. But a strip where the title character attempts to bend the cost curve of his avian-flu-stricken kingdom by shitting out a bunch of eggs? Well, I admit that one caught my attention. Not sure if the stars floating around his hindquarters are supposed to represent pain or magic or maybe both.
Luann, 3/6/25
“Sounds like you need to kiss?”
“What? Kiss?”.
“Yeah. Komfortabler Innovativer Spurtstarker S-Bahn-Zug. It’s a family of bilevel electric multiple unit trains built by the Swiss company Stadler Rail. I think taking a train ride through the European countryside could really help you focus on what’s important in your life.”
“Wow, this is a pretty strange way to flirt.”
“Flirt? You mean Flinker Leichter Intercity- und Regional-Triebzug?”
Heathcliff, 3/6/25
Heathcliff’s father is out of jail now, but after years of incarceration, he still has psychic scars. In a twisted way, prison feels like a safe place to him. His soul will never be free, and I think that’s sad.
161 replies to “That’s not how eggs work. I don’t think? I’m not a biologist”
Luann: So, will this guy be revealed as gay tomorrow, or will they wait until Saturday?
RMMD-“Sir, don’t make me mad. You won’t like me when I’m mad.”
MW-“The way Belle abused me reminded me of your mother.”
FC-Blasphemer
Luann-“What? Kiss?” Proving that once again Luann has the mental capacity of a child.
Abstruse train references? Josh, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!
Who the hell names their team the Skunks? You’re just begging for snark!
Heathcliff: Wearing a prison uniform and eating nutraloaf from a tray? That’s a bit messed up. But your human friend is wearing pink checkered pants and a propeller beanie. That’s the kind of real freak behavior I need explained to me.
Id: Is the giant floating sperm a new character to the Land of Id, or is this just the kind of background depravity of the strip?
GT – Praying Jennifer Lawrence – Young Brad Pitt – Dennis Franz – today’s episode is star studded….
WoI – Nobody can do the funky chicken, like you do….
Luann – A story told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,. Signifying nothing….
Heathcliff – Nutraloaf for cats!
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Nice to see a Tom Servo cameo in today’s Bizarro.
DtM: Dennis is not kidding about ‘The experience.’ The girls should take a closer look at Dennis’ face. He spikes his Arnold Palmers with 100 proof vodka.
@Schroduck: HaHaHaHa!.Something new in the Land of Id. Newer than 1970? That’s a good one.
The Evansi put their foot down on his suggestion that she FUK, the IATA airport code for Fukuoka in Japan. A one way trip to Japan would be the best thing for Luann right now… not for the Japanese, sure, but collateral damage is inevitable.
MW: Wilbur eagerly reaching with both hands for his daily lunch egg salad sandwich—without even having to ask!—puts Dawn squarely in daughter-as-mother territory. “Make all gone, now, if you want your jello for dessert!” Next, she’ll be changing his adult diaper.
Luann: Er. . .I was referring to “Fundamentally Understanding Crises. Knucklehead.” Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Id: The eggs coming out of the wizard’s ass are so foul–pun fully intended–that they are already attracting massive flies. Even the Evil Spirit is pretty disgusted–and that head of smoke doesn’t even have a nose.
Josh!
Weelbur Weston has met someone new and you have not seen fit to comment on this situation?!?
Are you feeling all right?
Are you?!?
Wrecks Moregone:
As expected, Obsessed Date Guy is thrown out of three museum by security. Again.
Next, Winter and Augie go to the police station to lodge a complaint, ODG follows them there, and is thrown out again.
Then they go to a movie, ODG turns up there, and the ushers throw him out again.
Then they go to…
This is going to continue till the end of time.
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women:
Inner Beauty can’t. She hasn’t been issued a vagina yet.
Luann :
a) Huh? She still works with kids? And she has nothing to say about that?
b) I like how Luann just glosses over the different classes she takes. Is she still taking archeology, or italian? Who knows! And more importantly, who cares? Certainly not Luann, who just sees her coursework as “jammed jumble” that doesn’t mean anything, and brings her no satisfaction!
c) By “spend time with family and friends”, she means “I live with my parents, and my childhood “best friend” who inexplicably moved into my home, and never, ever leave the house”; hopefully either Phil figures it out before it’s too late, or is so pathetic himself that it doesn’t bother him!
GT: Coach Gerads, I don’t know who told you that growing a mullet would distract from your receding hairline, but they lied.
Heathcliff: “Brooks was here.” “So was Pops.”
MW: Ashamed to tell his daughter he started dating a woman named Fauxbiana after his disaster in Bogotá, Wilbur fake-named her after the first Disney princess that came to mind. This will become awkward later when he slips up and calls her Jasmine.
Luann: I would like to be the first to congratulate Josh on working in a reference to his ultra-nerdy hobby/obsession, which is in fact the reason blogs exist and will in fact get him laid quicker than Luann ever will.
Luann: The fact that even this imbecile can eat without getting food all over her face doesn’t say much for Dawn.
Gil Thorp: You do not under any circumstances gotta hand it to Coach Gerads, but going from Herb Tarlek to Björn Ulvaeus in the space of 14 months is impressive.
MW: Hate to break it to you, Wilbur, but Belle didn’t go to Cancun to find commitment.
Egg-laying mammals are of course some of the most primitive, with a cloaca, five sets of sex genes and a lack of connective tissue between the hemispheres of the brain. They’re a complete anachronism by millions of years, in other words, perfectly suited to the Wizard of Id.
GT: “Folks have referred to him as the “bad boy” of Milford sports, but he’d really prefer to be known as the ‘T. Rex” of Milford sports, which might explain that peculiar pose he’s striking.
WoI: I just assume that most of these legacy strips run on recycled art, but some really make me wonder. Like, was there another context in which this scene really worked? Were those, like, Pet Rocks in the original run?
Luann: Don’t worry about it, Luann: there’s nothing that we find satisfying about your life either.
MW: “Belle is a tax accountant and she explained to me why it is to our benefit to put this condo into her name.”
GT: Skunks? SKUNKS? What do opposing fans yell, “Deodorize the Skunks?”
Today’s Luann is a pointless strip about a boring woman who doesn’t know how to fuck. Nice to see them sticking to the brand.
@astroboy: Mudlarks, skunks….for a town that’s obsessed with sport, they are shit at coming up with team names.
Luann: In a sign of how far Greg Evans has let his artistic skills atrophy in favor of dollar-store Barbie poses, he misses the perfect opportunity for a spit take that would liven things up a bit.
@Everything is Better with Monkeys: Hey, maybe she can find out what happened to ‘Sun’ while she’s there!
MW: “I bet you do understand, Dawnie! She called me ‘Nerdboy’, ordered me to eat vegetables the same as her (SHUDDER!!) and berated my ability to play bocci ball until one of our noodly teammates lamely told her to back off, at which point I winged a bocci ball at her head! She was so upset she flounced off the field and I haven’t heard from her since. Ah, good times….”
GT: You gotta be quite the dick to draw a scowl from Bob Keeshan.
GT – More like “The Freak Boy of Milford Sports” given that Coach Gonads has a hand growing out of his shoulder.
Gil Thorp – Somehow this storyline will veer into Coach Gerads imposing on the still-active trademark of a former Milford athlete who was the “Bad Boy of Milford sports” that was a storyline back in the 1980s.
Wizard of Id – More like Wizard of I’d Rather Not
Luann – *Josh, on a hall pass date*
Date (reading card): Name something you are an enthusiast of…
Josh (Excited for this organic opportunity to brag): Well….
Heathcliff – Heathcliff’s father pats his pockets nervously to make sure he still has his shank, as the rest of us might nervously feel for our keys or phone.
GT – I know that Coach Gerad’s pose is supposed to be “Thug Lyfe”, but from here it reads “Hello, Sailor!”.
MW: Dawnie has switched out the kitchen faucet for one of the window eels! Let’s see if Wilbur notices!
MW: “I met a woman. She’s also divorced. Her parents were successful pharmacists.”
GT: “Coach Gerads says he’s heard folks refer to him as ‘the bad boy of Milford sports.’ I’ve never heard that, and no one I’ve ever talked to has ever said that, but that’s what he says. He also says he’s heard folks call Gil Thorp ‘the egg-sucking weasel of Milford sports,’ but again, I cannot confirm.”
Luann: Tomorrow strip: “Oh, I was just saying you need Always To Have Real Experiences Everyday So Our Most Essential Work Is To Have Meaning, Explore All New Details, Treasure Intimate Friends/Family And Nurture Yourself. All though if Tiffany is available, I wouldn’t say no.”
What is with all of the egg jokes lately??
@The Rambling Otter: Avian flu and the economy have eggs on everybody’s mind, I guess.
One thing you learn very quickly watching anime is how often the creators’ fetishes make it into the product. Wizard of Id has me worried that this has spread to North American comics now. Beyond Brooke McEldowney, of course. And whatever Lynn Johnston was putting Elizabeth through.
Heathcliff’s father was sent up the river for assault and cattery. That’s a first-degree feliney.
I humbly apologize for the terrible dad jokes. I’ll show myself out now.
WoI — Because it bears saying, “The King is a fink!”
GT — The “Bad Boy of X” formulation is usually employed when discussing someone from Team X. Perhaps the good people of Milford really mean Coach Mullet is their bete noire?
Withering Heights — Heathcliff’s dad crawled through a mile of sh*t to escape, but the mind is its own prison. . .
@The Rambling Otter: Eggs are really expensive in the States because of the bird flu. Because of our different marketing system, we haven’t noticed it here.
HEATHCLIFF: The ex-con cat is independently handling his own mealtimes? Maybe cat prison has a few things to teach us.
LUANN: No quotes around, “Keep it simple, stupid.” He’s really calling her stupid. Because she is. Stupid.
WoI: I’m no economist, but wouldn’t wizard-laid eggs be a novelty item and therefore, cost more?
MW: Well, that is one Belle to Wilbur’s beast.
Came here for the comics, stayed for the train-nerdery.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Do I hear our little pest again?”
“I told Don Abundio he can’t carry a tune”
“So he’s serenading you with drums?”
“Yeah”
“He can’t keep the beat either”
@Tabby Lavalamp: Really that’s with anything.
Totally Spies, Spongebob Squarepants and Archie’s Weird Mysteries weren’t above that either.
@Rube: @Lauralot: Thanks!
@astroboy: The Skunks are an opponent of a different stripe!
MW – “. . . and then she saw me in my Speedo.”
@But What Do I Know?:
LOL! I’m picturing Pepe le Pew as their mascot.
@The Quiet Man: I live in fear of them attempting another Asian character.
Coach Gerards, a huge fan of cribbage and largely ignorant as to the Mephitidae, can’t understand why people make fun of his team name.
@Schroduck: The “Giant Floating Sperm” is “The Thing from the Cauldron” (I’m not sure about the real name) and has been there since Johnny Hart began this strip. Apparently, the Wizard summoned it and never bothered banishing it back to the abysmal depths from which it sprung.
Wiz: Wizards got cloacas!
GT: Yikes, last time I saw a wrist that limp Monty Python was doing precision camping it up.
Luann: The latest Bland Love Interest (I’ve already forgotten his name and I’m not bothering to look it up) is conducting this date as some combination of a job interview and those painful icebreaker exercises they do at conventions, and honestly that’s a red flag as vibrant as Mary Worth’s Obviously Abusive Dirk and Rex Morgan’s Goatee McStalker ever waved.
Luann: “Of course, we could also be ‘Friends Undertaking Christian Kindness’ if you know what I mean…”
@Rube:
Because of our different marketing system
That is a very nice way of putting it.
For what it’s worth, I still find eggs to be the cheapest and best option for animal-based protein currently. The price of meat is exorbitant.
As for non-animal-based protein, dried beans, baby. The musical fruit reigns supreme!
As a comic strip, Gil Thorp fails, but as a surrealist work… it also fails… yes, the faces are melting, but where the trains? The clocks that melt too? The dolphins in the crowd with cities on the tops of their heads?
Cliff – I was going to make a Shawshank joke, but then I thought to myself, “No, if any cartoon character was going to crawl through a river of shit, it would be Marvin.” And then I laughed. And then I became very sad.
Catching up from several days away:
C’shaft: After many years, Tom Batiuk has finally heard that pickleball is A Thing That Old People Are Doing Now.
Dustin: “Maybe you should ask what my career goals are before assuming I don’t have any, you self-righteous hag.”
JP: A Parker is facing the consequences of their actions, and Randy is breaking down from the cognitive dissonance.
MW: “She was really eager to get me involved in her time share community! I must have impressed her with my investment savvy.”
Pluggers are disguisting.
RMMD: So Goatee McStalker is just going to keep showing up in places and being a nuisance and getting escorted out until the arc ends, I guess.
In the early stages of its development, the KISS was known as the Stadler DOSTO. This name was derived from the German word Doppelstock, meaning “double decker“. This is still the name used for the Swedish market because “kiss” means “pee” in Swedish.
So, Phil, the nephrology PA, has a golden shower kink. Ice breaking info indeed!
CS: No worries, Ed, it’s only one game. You got this. Offer him double or nothing.
Luann, I think we need to be friends. Friends with Beneficial Exciting Nourishing Elevating Fruitful Insightful Trait Synergy!
@TheDiva:
MW: “She was really eager to get me involved in her time share community! I must have impressed her with my investment savvy.”
After Wilbur spent one week in a time share, the owner would be begging him to cancel.
Heathcliff: “I guess this all must’ve taken place back in, say, the nineteen-fifty-aughts, in an era when convicts wore black-and-white striped uniforms and kids wore beanies with propellers for some reason. It’s hard to remember from that long ago, but those were some tough times — heck, some folks couldn’t afford furniture in their kitchen or even doors in their house. It seems like pussycats were a bit more clever back then, though — you know, just smart enough to commit crimes, but not quite smart enough to avoid getting caught.”
Hart Attack: B.C., which premiered in 1958, enjoyed several good years through the mid 1960s. Peter “discovering” things; Thor inventing the wheel; Wiley’s hydrophobia; “Clams got legs!” On the other hand, The Wizard of Id (1964) was always a pile of shit.
Luann: “Kiss? What is kiss?”
Annnnnd now you can tell from what Josh has said about Luann with his confusing garbage that his barbiturates have kicked in. He will never get out of his depression, y’all.
Dang, of all the people to get the 69 post, it’s a troll. No Scrotal Award for You. (I’d rather give it to someone like Stalky McGoatee or Coach Gonads. They’ve at least got some style.
@Hibbleton: #30: Bob Keeshan? Even worse, it’s the ghost of Aldo Kelrast.
GT: Damn, this new artist is really shaking things up. The last panel looks like competing supervillains in one of the more unequivocally drug-fueled Scooby-Doo movies. Watch out, Hex Girls!
FC: How cute! Um, Dolly…what you are looking at is a typical oversimplified “greeting card” portrayal of an “angel.” Ask mommy to read you Ezekiel 10:1-22 for a *scripturally-accurate portrayal of one of these spirit beings. I doubt that Cherubim and Seraphim wear nightshirts. They are not “cute” and they are very likely to give you nightmares.
* If we study the Judaic-Christian writings seriously, we discover there are different ranks and kinds of such spirit beings. For example, the cherub and seraph beings have multiple faces of different creatures and multiple wings, some with wheels within wheels and “eyes all around.” And voices like thunder and flashes of brilliant light like lightning.
Pluggers: I call shenanigans. No plugger would let those potato chip crumbs go to waste. You think they’re a bunch of millionaires? He’d eat them off the ground if he had to.
WizID: Oh my Lord…I thought perhaps Wiz was threatening to turn Wisp into a real chicken but he…um…decided to become one himself? Why couldn’t he just materialize the “eggs” out of thin air himself instead of (supposedly) “laying” them like a hen? No wonder Wisp is distraught.
@Peanut Gallery:
Lo que asumir con esto es que si Don Abundio hiciera el movimiento de boombox de “Say Anything…”, elegiría “In the Air Tonight” en lugar de “In Your Eyes.” Me pregunto si esto refleja Abundio’s sentimientos sobre Genesis en general como banda.
Nice that Gil Twerp gave Robert Culp a cameo in a wig today, he hasn’t gotten much work since he died.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
“To each their own, I suppose…
“But I didn’t think people listened to heavy metal while doing yoga.”
Rex Morgan – It looks like a regular employee of the museum wandered by on his way to the break room. He’s too cheerful in telling Stalker Guy to move along. A security guard on a power trip would be more entertaining. However, this is Rex Morgan, so getting thrown out of a museum has to be boring.
9CL – Why does teen Amos have gray hair?
Aside from “he has always been in love with her matchless beauty,” at least these strips are preferable to the usual sociopathic boinkfest.
Pluggers – Gosh, I hope he never has a meal with Dirk whatsisname. However, the plugger will be happy if Dirk orders steak for him.
Heathcliff: If Propeller Beanie-Kid is having his scared straight moment now, just wait till he finds the glock dookie that Heathcliff’s dad is cooking up in the litter box.
@Violet: Abundio is exactly the kind of guy who would think that Phil Collins-era Genesis is vastly superior to Peter Gabriel-era Genesis. And would tell you so, loudly and ignorantly.
(Not that there aren’t things to like about Phil Collins-era Genesis.)
Mother Goose: This is some straight up debauchery and it’s actually funny. Maybe he does deserve that Pulitzer Prize.
Zits: If he’s this surprised to discover his mom has the ability to swear his mind is really going to be blown when he finds out what she does in the shower.
Hi and Lois: The salmonella is a fun surprise!
Dennis the Menace: There’s no chance that the original caption for this cartoon wasn’t something about him urinating in the lemonade. From the glazed over expression on his face he might actually be relieving himself right now.
Normally, I’d call giving unprompted life advices to a young woman “patronising”, but this is Luanne, so I’ll call it “overambitious”
RMMD: Looks like we won’t get our knock down, drag out resulting in the destruction of several valuable pieces of art.
@The Rambling Otter: What is with all of the egg jokes lately??
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“Laugh In” used up all the chicken jokes.
@astroboy: LOL! I’m picturing Pepe le Pew as their mascot.
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Sid, I’m ready for my closeup!
MW: I desperately, DESPERATELY don’t want Wilbur to continue this story. Really don’t want to hear about his sad, pathetic nookie.
Also, gross. Gross nookie.
@85 Garrison Skunk:
Is that a chicken joke?
@I speak Jive: 9CL – Why does teen Amos have gray hair?
_____________________________
I believe TV Tropes calls it GRAY HAIR AND ROSIE PALMS.
@Peanut Gallery:
So true on all counts.
@Sequitur: Is that a chicken joke?
________________________
Yes indeed it is, Ms Worley.And may I just take a moment to say I completely enjoyed your performance on today’s Buzzr “Tattletales” rerun, sorry about the divorce!
Pluggers: Pluggers buy Ron White-branded potato chips.
CS: “How much does a case of Boost cost?” About .01% of the money you spent buying six boxes of eclipse glasses for a few dozen people.
Luann: Get a room, you two. Then you’ll have a private space to keep doing nothing.
MW: Wilbur met a woman from central Florida? Wasn’t he just there?
Six Wizard of Ids and A Cat Named Eggbert In Search Of A Punchline: “….you mean I sexed the rooster for NOTHING?!?”
RMMD: 1) Is this entire plot going to be Creeper popping up and him being politely but forcefully made to leave, after security and/or the police discuss it with him gently as if it’s a civil debate instead of an order? Because I’m already bored and have been for weeks.
2) Don’t museum staff usually wear suits?
Crankshaft: What IS “Boost,” anyway? Some kind of laxative?
@astroboy: GT: Skunks? SKUNKS? What do opposing fans yell, “Deodorize the Skunks?”
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Yep, and we lift our tails and yell back “Deodorize THIS!”
RMMD: Hey, that museum staffer is Harry “Snapper” Organs, “Count Crushinski’s” most diabolical antagonist in 1970s professional wrestling! If Stalky McStalkerface doesn’t move along, he’s going to find himself airborne down the nearest staircase.
WoI: So wizards can lay eggs? Welp, that answers how Gandalf kept the Fellowship fed during that long trek to Mordor.
True Idheads know that the King of Id is a tyrannical martinet who’s far too busy torturing his subjects over minor perceived slights to spend any time thinking about policies that might improve their lives. This lends poingancy to the Wizard’s actions today. Could he but serve a worthy monarch, as Merlin did Arthur, his magicks would freely help the greater good. Were the Wizard a braver man, he could topple the tyrant’s throne with his fell arcana and usher Id into a golden age as its enlightened philosopher-prince. Alas, he is a coward, and the King is a fink, and so the Wizard must labor in secret, shitting egg after egg onto the bare stone floor of his laboratory, lacking even the luxury of pants to maintain a modicum of dignity.
@Garrison Skunk, @Sequitur: Which came first, the chicken joke or the egg joke?
Meanwhile over in Juggs Parker
Randy is still crying and spraying snot everywhere over his sister going back to prison
@UncleJeffers:
There’s a reason why Denni
@Peanut Gallery:
Which came first, the chicken joke or the egg joke?
I thought about writing that very same thing but . . . uh, chickened out.
So how’s this: No harm, no fowl. I’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to think of a set-up for that line since I can’t.
Would throwing in a Pullet-zer Prize jape be too much? Yeah, probably.
@Anonymous: LUANN: a) Huh? She still works with kids? And she has nothing to say about that?
Keep in mind that she hasn’t actually been seen at the daycare since she let Tara bring a weapon into the classroom, and that was all the way back in October 2021. In fact she hasn’t been seen working a job, any job, since then. She may call her life a “jammed jumble” but other than the occasional trip to Mrs Horner’s place or the dog park, all she does is lounge around her filthy bedroom all day. I don’t recall ever seeing a lead character who’s just so damned boring.
RMMD – “Pretty pictures? Haha – you must be as high as I am. Hey, you lookin’ for a job? My company is always hiring.”
GT – My gawd, the artwork here has gone from bad to beyond abominable. Come back, late-period A3G! All is forgiven!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: MW – “. . . and then she saw me in my Speedo.”
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Tonight on “The Moroons”, watch as Willby Dolenz sings….” I thought love was more or less a ham sandwich/topped with double mayo of course/So I went to the source,and I asked the horse, And listened to what Mary had to say/.Then she saw my junk/right through to my trunk/Not a doubt in her mind/ She saw my Speedo, knows I’m a Weirdo/and won’t change her mind.
GT: Folks refer to him as the “gay boy” of Milford sports.
@Peanut Gallery: @Garrison Skunk, @Sequitur: Which came first, the chicken joke or the egg joke?
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Which came third, Who came second and Scratchy came LXIXth.
@Ukulele Ike: On the other hand, The Wizard of Id (1964) was always a pile of shit.
______________________________________________
I think you’re thinking of the spinoff featuring the perpetually drunk court jester “The Adventures of Dung”.
Luann: Let’s see … these two are in 7th grade right?
GT – 3rd panel: Legolas, seeking new adventures and tired of the serene life of Rivendell, journeys to a middling American city and immerses himself in high school athletics with a hip hop flair. Yo, Elf-man – whassup????
Luann: “Let me now take the conversation in a direction that cannot possibly be misconstrued.”
Archie-“Sir, Robert DeNiro impressions are not allowed.”
Gil Thorp-Having a team named the Skunks is rather appropriate for this art style since they both stink.
Wizard of Id-“Hey! These eggs are sticky and a little salty.”
MW: I hope that the twist in Wilbur’s story is that “Belle” was someone he happened to be sitting next to at the airport who asked him if he knew where Concourse B was and he gave her the wrong directions.
Heathcliff-“Even though he’s a cat he likes to be called bitch.”
GT: Hands down the saddest moment in comics this week is a man in his forties bragging about being “the new Bad Boy of Milford sports” and trying to drive the point home with a faux gang sign.
Luann: Phil wanted to kiss in the regular sense, too. Wanted, past tense. Now that he’s seen Luann with her lips puckered he’s over it.
WofI: All I can say is that there was a time when the Wizard was a Rodney Dangerfield-style wife-hater who just happened to have a magic wand, and I preferred that to whatever he’s supposed to be now.
@100 Peanut Gallery:
I’m not sure but if Maude R. Fawker were answering, something about the egg being laid would be mentioned.
DT: Dick’s switch into his undercover alias as a soup kitchen volunteer was certainly quick. Of course, all he really had to do was rub shoe polish all over.
MW: What I’m getting out of this is that Belle GTFO both Wilbur and—to be on the safe side—Mexico when her tequila bender ended.
MG&G: Dogs notoriously have little to no trouble licking any body part they want to lick. The joke would make much more sense if it were a man standing/bending there saying the same thing. Admittedly it probably couldn’t be published like that.
RMMD: Either a security guard or just a docent, kinda mushy all over. If his serene smile means that he knows a particularly crippling martial art that would be a good thing.
Does it count as explaining the joke in Heathcliff if the joke is 50 years old, but this is the first time you’ve seen it? Asking for a friend.
@Hoowow: Sick burn, dude!
Did you know…
DT: Why are the soup kitchen volunteers wearing fancy white jackets, like Pullman porters or waiters at a banquet?
@124 Ukulele Ike:
Actually, they aren’t. The colorist’s instructions were to make them pale blue. The colorist said, “I don’t do pale blue. I’ll show them!”
@Ukulele Ike: Awwww.
You think strips about executions and guys hanging from dungeon walls aren’t funny?
@Ukranazi Stepan: He can’t help it. Once Les Knox became unstuck from the Luanniverse, unmoored in space and time, he landed in the Rexiverse. Give him a break, he’s scared and lonely, and trying to make friends.
I like what Coach has going on there. The hair says “I long to be David Lee Roth,” and the wrist swish says “I’m fabulous!”
If I had the ability to, or were cursed with an affliction that forced me to, poop out shelled embryos for which other people were actually willing to give me money, I would want egg prices to be higher, not lower. But one doesn’t read Wizard of Id for economic literacy.
In defense of the current Luann storyline…
Brad and Toni: Figuring out when they should fuck to make a baby and how to make Brad’s, erm, “cake” rise, with TJ’s assistance.
Tiffany: Obsessed with trying to fuck Kip, who was always fucking her roommate Stef, but they keep breaking up and then getting back together because they just can’t stop fucking.
Is it not somewhat of a relief to have one character who can keep puffed-up, googly-eyed, blowhole-lipped head out of the gutter?
@Sequitur: But the team had been doing such a nice job with the nephews’ color-coded shirts!
@131 Ukulele Ike:
It only takes one rebel to scratch the record.
Gil Thorp: This is a newspaper comic so its idea of Gerards being a “bad boy” is that he has long hair, marking him as a radical leftist.
Luann: Dude, we already know that Luann needs to get laid, but it ain’t fucking happening. You’re wasting your time, you’d be better off trying to squeeze water out of rock.
Heathcliff: A major part of the bizarre dream logic Heathcliff operates in is that it can’t make up its mind whether the titular cat is a normal cat slightly anthropomorphized like Garfield or is a cartoon person who is a cat like Top Cat. Here it tries to have it both ways at once, creating a strange image of a world where men can go to prison for their crimes but are also expected to eat out of a bowl on the floor.
RMMD: The actor playing the docent is an understudy who was unexpectedly called at the very last minute. He’s doing his best, but he had already eaten a few edibles when he was ordered to get his ass onstage, and he is soooo hiiiiigh.
@Hoowow: Wow, now your insults are not only pathetic, but boring
6ix Chix: Is this how Mary Lawton depicts an attractive woman? It’s not overtly horrific, so I guess that’s what’s happening. Still, the woman on the right lets me know that this is still Lawton and all is right in (her) world.
LUANN: Compared to this, the banter between Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney was sizzlin’ hot.
Feeding trolls only makes them stronger. Ignore them and they give up and move on.
@astroboy: I was literally being honest, his insult really was that boring.
@The Rambling Otter: Also high-fiving himself (because no-one else will) just makes him even more lame and pathetic xD
If he keeps doing it, I will continue to point that out because I keep finding it hilarious.
@astroboy: True, maybe for ordinary trolls, but I don’t think this particular troll is attention seeking. He seems to have a genuine, if insane, hatred of Josh.
@Poteet: Does that mean they had to cut twelve panels of him giggling?
Hey, your Luann commentary made me chuckle toda– GAH! Sorry, I keep forgetting how abysmal the new Gil Thorp art is.
@Just John: The Mary Lawton woman on the right is a fan of a performer who made hit records in the 60s, had a teevee show in the 70s, and made a few remarkably good movies in the 80s. She looks pretty good for somebody who’s 75-85 years old.
Look at that expression. She’s anticipating untold joy when she can read those hot explicit sex scenes about naked Sonny Bono and Gregg Allman.
@Sequitur:
I didn’t know Tommy Chong wrote a philosophy book.
@245 Liam:
Oh, yeah. He’s full of philosophy. Things like…
@Rube: Remember the troll we had oh, 15 or so years ago, who was obsessed with One Big Happy and posted about it every day? I wonder what happened to him. Maybe Rick Detorie tracked him down and strangled him.
I have noticed that, ever since he vanished, not one person here has mentioned One Big Happy, and I feel quite content about that.
@Rube: This is personal
CS: I must applaud Batiuk and Davis for the product placement.
@147 Ukulele Ike:
Here’s today’s. It’s from 2019. It has been in reruns for a while now.
@Nobody: You’re right. I bet he’s really the hot cheerleader in high school that Josh refused to date. (Inverse Greg Evans deep dive)
@Sequitur: I must have known that. I read the repeats daily on both the Seattle Times and GoComics, as I do with Edge City. One Big Happy is the poster child of “innocuous comic strip,” neither horrible nor particularly good. I enjoy the occasional references to “the Italians,” and that grandma believes “in the gin mill spirit,” as Laura Nyro would have put it.
Incidentally, “being asked to speak at the therapists’ conference” is the new “bread products” and “china hutch” of the Edge City reprints in the Seattle Times, not GoComics.. The LaBans were very weird people.
@Ukulele Ike: I remember him, but I’m not sure he qualifies as a troll. Was he really pushing anyone’s buttons other than his own?
In Gil Thorp, (1) The art is ugly as hell, (2) I can’t accept ‘Gerads’ as a name, and (3) I have no idea what is happening in that third panel.
My freshman year of high school, the biology teacher, who nobody liked, once said “Keep it simple, stupid” to the class and several parents called in because they were mad the teacher was calling their kids ‘stupid’. If the teacher had ever cracked a smile, we might have believed he was joking.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Hell, I can’t even remember whether he was defending Detorie or attacking him. He was an irritating bastard, either way.
@Ukulele Ike: He might have been before my time. I do remember the guy who would flip out at any suggestion that Luann wasn’t realistic. He was also convinced that Luann was having hot sex off-panel, if you just read it properly. I think he stopped coming around after the strip confirmed that Luann, and every decent person in the strip, was repulsed by the very idea of sex.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: @Ukulele Ike: I remember that guy, although I don’t remember his name. He attacked Detorie’s work, and I’m sure that Detorie replied at least once.
@Rube: I also remember the one who was obsessed with Luann and took umbrage to any criticism of the strip. I commented about the strip’s ugly artwork, and he huffily informed me that it was Reuben Award winning artwork. I think he’s one of the commenters on Luann on GoComics that Scratchy LXIX quotes occasionally. I don’t read Luann because of the ugly artwork.
LATE COMMENTS:. Apologies in advance if someone else already talked about them.
PHANTOM:. In his personal blog yesterday, author links to interview and photos from Chronicle Chamber. BTW:. Heloise sure needs some help learning to lie.
FBoFW:. The sun is not the only hot thing in today’s script. BTW:. I like Elle’s new hair style
RMMD:. Congrats to mudge who said museum security guards are often physically unable to confront. BTW:That’s ok if the guards have compensatory skills.
MW:. Are those Doves of Love or the more common Doves of Doom (aka Mourning Doves)
@Ukulele Ike: He was attacking Detorie for the allegedly crappy level of art on OBF. My tacit reaction was always “Given the execrable level of so much comic strip art, is this really the most fitting target you could focus on?”
@I speak Jive: Yeah, reminds me of when I complained about the character art in Fallout 1 and 2.
Someone tried defending it by saying that the art was a heavily detailed claymation style.
Still looked ugly as sin…
@The Rambling Otter: For an example of what I mean, I’m going to try this link as the last link didn’t work