Watch where you’re pointing that thing, narration box
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/25
WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WHY IS HE IN THE CROWD? I dunno. Probably he’s the person who was responsible for the stalker guy dying somehow is my guess, what with his cryptic but ominous thought-ballooning. Actually, with his unassuming demeanor and stealthy observational methods, this guy seems like he’s something of a stalker himself. Send a stalker to catch — and possibly kill — a stalker, that’s what I always say, and it looks like I’ve been proven right once again.
Gil Thorp, 4/11/25
A spectre is haunting Milford — the spectre of “Pop,” the beloved dead coach who was somehow even worse than Gil at coaching. Note the “Turn off the lights when you leave!” sign Gil left on the wall: he doesn’t want people seeing the ghost, because he knows that will inevitably lead to the ghost becoming the latest in the parade of unpaid Milford coaching assistants, like bitter janitor Steve Luhm and fake Negro League star Clambake, except dead, which is probably against school policy in some way.
Garfield, 4/11/25
Liz, that’s very much a sandwich. Like, I don’t know what the Paws, Inc., brain trust thinks veggie lasagna with tofu, cheese, and kale looks like, but I’m here to tell them that it pretty much looks like lasagna. There was no need for them to resort to putting clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a sandwich to convey this idea. They could’ve just put clip art of a leaf on top of clip art of a pan of lasagna! I refuse to believe that Paws, Inc., doesn’t have very easy access to clip art of a pan of lasagna!
Dennis the Menace, 4/11/25
This body positivity pep talk is honestly one of the least menacing things I’ve ever seen! Except for the part where Dennis is in Mr. Wilson’s bathroom while Mr. Wilson is trying to weigh himself, I guess. That part’s pretty worrisome. I know we’ve just inured ourselves to that kind of thing but it’s still not great.
152 replies to “Watch where you’re pointing that thing, narration box”
DtM: Tone is everything.
RMMD: Mysterious Stranger is Stalker’s CIA handler. Stalker is just a patsy.
DtM: More evidence, if such were needed, that “Dennis” is a figment of Mr. Wilson’s burgeoning psychosis. Always there, in the same clothes, when he’s least wanted, a voice in Wilson’s ear, telling him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear, raising his blood pressure. In this case, Wilson is reasonably worried about his health, but then… there’s that annoying little akuma-boy, taunting, “you look great! Eat! Eat all you want, of delicious butter, salt, meat!” A bead of flop sweat trickles down Wilson’s temple. Is the terrifying imp in his bathroom correct? Should he give in to temptations — minor temptations to be sure, but at his age definitely inadvisable? “Read meat doesn’t raise cholesterol,” the smiling imp whispers.
Dennis the Menace-“But what about me? How do I look? I haven’t been feeling so good for the past few days. I feel like death warmed over.”
Gil Thorp-Including a ghost as a character seems like something “Soap” would do.
FC-Run faster, Jeffy. Dolly’s gaining on you.
MW-“I want you two to get along while I hide in the closet and watch.”
RMMD-And who are the Blue people that are in the crowd?
G Thorp – I think the scariest thing about Pop’s ghost is the artwork.
Trying to parse that pattern on the shower curtain. Wet clams? Teacups? Clutching fingers? In any case it clashes with the tiles. Decorator FAIL!
I’m imagining Dennis’ voice is dripping with sarcasm, which may be menacing enough to cause Mr. Wilson to finally snap. Well played, kid!
DtM: Where does Wilson hide that giant scale when not in use? Seriously, with two seniors in the house and a cramped bathroom, that’s a major trip hazard. Let alone maneuvering around Dennis who seems to want to hang out in there.
Gil Thorp:
“Thanks, Coach. Wilford Brimley is the name. If you have Type 2 diabeetus like I have, you’re confronted with choices.”
RMMD:
“Best that no one knows I was here. Which, of course, begs the question of why I was here in the first place.”
RMMD I like how this strip doesn’t expect even its regular readers to keep track of who’s who — they literally have to point out new characters. “Hey, this guy? This guy right here? You don’t know him! I know he looks like a dozen other ancillary characters we’ve cycled through over the years, but for narrative purposes this is fresh stuff.”
Garfield So…Garfield is planing to kill Liz? And maybe eat her? Seems like more of a Heathcliff thing but I’ll allow it.
BB: I just realized one missing stereotype is the buff gym rat. Why doesn’t this platoon have one?
DTM: *big pointing arrow* WHO IS THIS BOY, AND WHY IS HE IN AN OLD MAN’S BATHROOM?
RMMD: It’s a good thing they pointed him out, because that guy is the LEAST suspicious-looking in that crowd of gawkers. The guy with the ball-cap is literally slack-jawed, one woman has her eyes closed, and another guy is forcing his 10-year-old to watch.
Garfield: So the tofu is substituting for the meat which means the kale is substituting for……….?
DtM: Wilson’s REAL problem is that everyone gaslights him into thinking he’s a crank for desiring the bare minimum of personal space.
RMMD: I don’t know, all those pale blue people also look pretty dodgy to me.
GT: Since Pop seems determined to appear to everyone, we can expect an upsurge in attendance at the local 12-step group.
MW: You can always count on Wilbur to take the dumb road. Will he still be sporting that stupid puppy face when Dawn is dead and he’s zip-tied in a closet?
RMMD:
“You know, it’s kind of curious that the ‘POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS’ command isn’t facing those of us that they don’t want to cross it, so that we would know what not to do.”
GT: Martinez was warned the pills he takes to calm his toxic temper could in rare cases lead to hallucinogenic psychosis which, finally, we have an explanation for the weird artwork.
MW: “Shut up and be sure to drink all your tea like a good girl! The poison settles at the bottom!”
RMMD: when Rex performs the autopsy he will find a strange chip in Stalker’s brain. And a return to CIA tattoo on his ass.
RMMD: The arrow is misdirection, so we don’t notice that the guy in sunglasses is Rene Beluso.
MW – All right, at this point I think Wilbur is actively involved in Batts Belfrey’s plan to murder Dawn. Out with the freeloading eternal college student, and in with some sexy-time with a lunatic who probably does butt stuff.
DtM:
Mr. Wilson has more avoirdupois than a Parisian phone book.
Oh, wait a minute. That’s not the saying, is it.
Dennis’ enthusiastic “great!” means less when you realize the bar for “good” is Mr. Wilson sitting on the toilet.
DtM…This comic comes from a time before atrocities against children were committed. Obviously.
RMMD: Sorry, Mr. Narration Box, but the person who I think committed the murder is not master-of-disguise Rene Belluso. Instead, I suspect the woman standing at the end of the line, Sally Forth.
@Veronica: Spinach? Honestly as a pescatarian I was like “could be worse, the tofu is out of place but at least she didn’t substitute the tofu for the cheese, gah.”
@Bob Tice: I always just assumed that those police lines are double-sided.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Honestly not sure what’s worse: the depths to which beloved character actor Peter Boyle’s reanimated corpse has fallen just to keep working, or that beloved character actor Peter Boyle’s reanimated corpse is the most interesting thing to happen for years in this strip.
Dennis and the Menace of Hyperglycemia
MW: It’s funny because Dawn also sees Pops from GT —after drinking Belle’s psilocybin tea.
GODDAMMIT GIL THORP WHY IS THAT SOUND EFFECT “FLICK” NOT “POP” WHY DO EVEN THINK THEY CALL A GHOST POP
Gil Thorp: There was a story, about a town where back in the 30’s (?) a black woman with a baby (or maybe she was pregnant) had a medical emergency and needed to get to the hospital quickly but they wouldn’t let her on the bus because she didn’t have any money (and the racist busdriver wouldn’t let her on for free, despite her emergency because she was black) and she died at the bus stop. Then for decades later her ghost would appear at the bus stop at a certain time. Every bus driver since was too afraid of her ghost (I mean, she’s a ghost…) to allow her onto the bus.
But one new bus driver on that route (who was black) decided he wanted to meet her for himself, so he went to that stop at the usual time that she would appear and allowed her ghost on. When her ghost got onto the bus, he said that she didn’t need to pay, it was on him. And then she started moving towards the back, he said that she didn’t need to, and asked her to sit near the front by him. And she did.
As he drove to the hospital, he told her about Black People’s rights over the years, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and such and he just talked all the way there. When he parked at the hospital, she got off and the ghost was never seen again.
Whether it’s true or not. Still a very nice story ^^
Dennis is pushing Mr Wilson not to bother about his weight, so that he is more susceptible to heart diseases and diabetes. Very menacing!
@Veronica: re Garfield: The kale replaces the noodles.
RMMD: “Looks like I picked a hell of a day not to wear all periwinkle and paint my face periwinkle to match. Damn me for defying conventions!”
GT: This is a tragedy. Imagine being a spirit — a spirit, mind you — and continuing to dwell in the office of a mediocre high school sports coach. It smells like failure and Desenex in there!
Garfield: I like how Garfield waits until Liz is out of the room before he snaps that pic. “The humans must not know I have opposable thumbs.”
DTM: “Do I look worried or do I look great? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, MITCHELL!”
Cats are known to like bread and other foods not normally associated with carnivores. But giving one a meat substitute? Any feline would demand that she be prosecuted at The Hague.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Well, the lights are on in the last panel, maybe he just flicked on the light switch?
Veggie lasagna sounds nice. What is it with reactionary comics lately taking shots at vegetarian foods as though having one meal without meat would be the most horrible thing you could put in your mouth.
Speaking of, I finally got around to making Ukulele Ike’s potato salad. (With a green salad on the side.) I have to practice with using mustard and vinegar and also not overcooking potatoes, but I see the potential.
Garfield
I miss the days when Liz didn’t like Jon, regularly and sharply refused his advances, but somehow still doted on Garfield and his well-being as his vet.
The look in her eyes suggests she has become quite unhinged by trying too hard to fend off Jon and is now playing the long game with him by dating him and poisoning his cat.
DtM – Why is Mr. Wilson worried about his weight? We all know that it’s the liver failure from Bent Elbow Disease that’s going to pick him off.
Who’s this man?
Well, obviously his name is This Man.
As for why he is in this crowd, it’s because he isn’t in some other crowd.
See? Simple!
RMMD: “Who is this man, and why is he in the crowd? No, seriously, we’re so bad at plotting we’ve lost track ourselves”
MW: It isn’t enough that Wilbur got everyone, including the narration boxes, to call Estelle “Stell.” Now Dawn’s name must also be ruined. Once she dies of poisoned tea, the gravestone will read “Dawnie Weston.”
RMMD:
All the blue-toned people
Where do they all come from?
All the blue-toned people
Where do they all belong?
RxMD: Instead if Chekov’s Gun, we have Beatty’s Sledgehammer.
Garfield: I was about to say a lasagna sandwich would be a good idea if only for portability, but then I thought about the sheer amount of carbs. And also how much sauce and cheese would drip out.
MW: She wants to make amends? With tea? That’s…not exactly a thing
@Anonymous: Because noodles aren’t vegetarian?
GT – Pop is the name, but Grease is and always will be the word.
RMMD: “I’d better slip away before the police decide to question me. Best that no one knows I was here. Which makes me showing up here in the first place a pretty dumbshit move on my part. I guess I’m the definition of criminally stupid.”
@Braxwell Brontë: I also miss that. I also miss Jon’s hilarious terrible dating life. Killing the opportunity for those jokes killed a large chunk of the comics’ humor.
I think honestly, after Garfield minus Garfield, Jim Davis started feeling sorry for Jon.
Don’t worry, bald guy with the popped up jacket collar. Bald guy with a beard wearing sunglasses after the sun has gone down is looking far more suspicious than you.
***
Let’s see, it’s April 2025… I know, narration box! He’s a reporter trying to do his job!
***
Garfield? In 2025? The merchandise sales can’t be what they once were, so I can only imagine that Jim Davis has replaced his staff with a LLM AI that can’t tell the difference between lasagna and a sandwich.
Pluggers: You’re not waiting for your penny. The cashier is waiting for you to pay 60 more cents. Because sales tax has existed in most states (including Massachusetts) since about 1934. I know Pluggers cling to the past like a drowning rat to barely-floating cardboard. But sheesh, how old ARE they that they think a penny is even worth minting, much less saving?
CS: Is Crankshaft expressing his surprise that Lena did well, or his expectation that she will do poorly? I would think the object of a bus rodeo is to avoid making students walk through puddles. But Crankshaft and his asshole friends regularly compete against either to cause traffic jams and abandon passengers at stops. This whole week has just been confusing.
MW: And with this act, Wilbur became an accomplice.
H&L: Watching AI accelerate the collapse of learning not just a foundation of facts but also thinking and expressive skills, I ought to have some sharp quip about this strip. Instead I can only goggle in horror – the personalized touch will now be asking the robot to make something special. Eventually we will all be on some social media and your AI will ask their AI what they like so we won’t even have to know anything about a friend or paramour.
(Which may be what soap strip relationships often boil down to, but I thought we snarked because we didn’t want that!)
I can’t believe my spell checker tried to tell me “lasagna” was wrong. Ever been gaslit by a computer to the point where you know something is correct but you still feel the need to go check?
@Tabby Lavalamp: All the time.
Did the late Peter Boyle come back to life and trade his death with the car stalker’s life because the stalker didn’t love Raymond?
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – It would be better if “Who Is This Man?” could do like Milton in Office Space and slink away while looking over his shoulder and then break out into a full run.
Rex Morgan, MD – Dexter, the show about a serial killer who only targets serial killers, has a new prequel spinoff coming out this year. Rex Morgan writers have been catching up with the series in rewatches, and took inspiration, but with much lower stakes of a stalker who only stalks stalkers, until the initial stalker awkwardly dies drinking himself to death.
Gil Thorp – When it comes to this ghost sports plot, “If you build it, it’ll be dumb”
Garfield – “Tofu, cheese, and Kale” – Yeah, the writers got lazy. You’re supposed to give the cheap trigger words for your Midwestern audience whose diet is mostly hamburger-meat based. Cheese is not only an essential food group to them, its what lasagna is known for. At least call it vegan cheese.
Dennis the Menace – Given the shower curtain in the room clashing with the wall tiles, I think Mr. Wilson needs to get his eyes checked.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Garfield? In 2025?
____________________________
In the year 2525/if Garfield is still alive/if Lyman can survive/they may find……
MW: Dawnie of the Dead.
Italians already have vegetarian options for lasagna (pesto, artichokes, zucchini), so the concept should not horrify even them. On the other hand, kale and tofu in a lasagna? That’s enough to unify vegetarians and omnivores in disgust!
“They called me Pop, because I was quite a catch with the ladies and a lot of my students were secretly my bastard children”
When you consider what that bathroom must smell like whenever Mister Wilson uses it, he’s the one doing the actual menacing today.
@Ettorre:
My Italian mom makes a killer vegetarian lasagna with broccoli and cream sauce. She started out making a small one for one vegetarian sis-in-law to eat while the rest of us enjoyed regular lasagna at family gatherings, but after trying it, everyone liked it so much that now my mom has to make a large one of each. The broccoli is chopped up very small, no stems, so it’s not lumpy. Just about the only way I like broccoli is in lasagna form.
Garfield: This would have worked: Lasagna clip art
DtM: How about less work depicting an ugly shower curtain and more work on writing?
Hahahahaha! KALE! Get it? Kale is always funny! Maybe next time Garfield could just cut straight to “What’s the deal with that kale, amIright?”
@astroboy: Sure, Italian cuisine has plenty of vegetables you can put in a lasagna. Kale and tofu can be tasty in other contexts, just not in this one. This seems rather an idea of someone who is not vegetarian who thinks every vegetarian dish is kale and tofu
Man, I’ve never seen the Rex Morgan M.D. narration box this worked up before. It knows the guy’s trying to be stealthy, and is just screaming, who is this guy, why is he here, pay attention to him. I wonder if it knows that only the reader can hear it, and that we don’t particularly care. Either way, what a tragic way to achieve sentience.
RMMD – The grim reaper? Ghostly Pop Warner? Everybody Loves Dead Peter Boyle? I can’t wait to find out….
GT – You just can’t underestimate the influence of Pop Warner – he taught Joe Paterno everything he knew about looking the other way….
Garfield – It looks, smells and tastes the same going in, as coming out….
DtM – It’s that sarcasm – that’s the way Dennis really twists in the knife….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD- unless he’s been standing there since the body was discovered (and yes, the police should be questioning him), he came back to the scene of the crime. Therefore the answer either way is: the stupidest criminal ever!
On April 11th 2025, Josh F. wrote “WHO IS THIS MAN, AND WHY IS HE IN THE CROWD?” (Answer printed upside down) He is the Late Peter Boyle and Rachel Rabbit claims he’s eliminating everyone who doesn’t like Raymond! Tune in tomorrow as Ray Romano plays Shady Shrew
Garfield: Liz isn’t just confusing a sandwich with lasagna, she’s confusing “veggie” with “vegan” and “a random list of stereotypically healthy foods” for “a joke.”
GT: It’s only April, but we have to get started now if we want the strip to remember it’s introduced a ghost sometime around Halloween.
RMMD: Guessing this is a male relative (dad seems most likely to me, but I wouldn’t rule out spouse, older brother, or uncle nobody wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving) of the woman who was posting about Goatee McStalker’s malfeasance on social media and who Summer briefly mentioned reaching out to. Because the only thing that can stop a bad possessive and potentially violent man from hurting a woman is a good possessive and potentially violent man.
Garfield should be up enough on things to not insult a lasagna by using tofu and cheese. Vegans won’t eat it, omnivores don’t want tofu, and vegetarians will wonder why kale is there in place of spinach (a real lasagna veg).
Coming up tomorrow: The strip keeps its timely food gags going as Liz presents some of that nouvelle cuisine.
H&L: Chip, your current crush can be satisfied with AI poetry. Don’t let this one go–she’s not beyond your reach!
BG&SS:
“I heard that Bangladesh earthquake created a lot of damage…”
“What, Hootin’ Holler doesn’t need my help?”
Pluggers are ready for the new 2025 change tray next to cash registers:
“Have a penny? Leave a penny.
Need a penny? Get a job!”
(Bonus points for anyone who can give me the source.)
FC: Jeffy falls for Thel’s trap. “Well, well, well, look who’s joining us for some math fun.”
“Hello, yes, this is the Ghostbusters. Uh huh. Yeah. OK, sounds like a class two stationary apparition. Your location? Milford High, yes, that’s in our service area. We’ll be right there. We ain’t afraid of no ghosts! Oh, a ghostly coach, haunted by years of losses in the playdowns . . . do you mean playoffs? No, playdowns, OK, then. We’ll be right there.”
GT: Ghosts often serve as otherworldy portents within fiction, issuing ominous predictions or dire warnings to the living. While the Ghost of Pop(s) doesn’t expressly say it, the subtext of his warning is still chilling: if you live and die wearing a very stupid hat, you will be damned for eternity to wear a very stupid hat.
@Liam: RMMD-And who are the Blue people that are in the crowd?
_______________________________
“Remember Blue Man Group, Bart? They’re back! In Sex Organ V.D. form!”- Nixon Milhouse.
If I’m not mistaken, that’s Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor from the beloved 1978 Superman movie. As to why he’s in the crowd, I’m assuming it involves killing Superman or acquiring land… that’s usually a safe bet with this version of Mr. Luthor.
@ValdVin: (Bonus points for anyone who can give me the source.)
_________________________________
The Source™ was the driving force behind the galaxy in “Quark – All The Emperor’s Quasi-norms”, and it can’t be given, you must be born with it.
RMMD – “Who is this man, and why is he in the crowd?” Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting a quiz, in Rex Morgan of all places. But he’s at a crime scene, so today’s Garfield provides the answer: Obviously, he’s there to deliver a veggie lasagna sandwich with tofu, cheese, and kale.
RMMD: The police routinely copy down all the license plate numbers of cars parked in the area at the scene of a serious crime so the jig is up for Ur-McStalkie anyway unless he used a pogo stick to get there.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Look at that gorgeous bage, Abundio!”
“Oh, what a beauty!”
[Sign: RESTAURANT]
“I have to come up with an excuse to meet her!”
“Pardon me, toots… Can you direct me to the Black Diamond slopes?”
C’shaft: Oh, I get it now. Crankshaft hates Lena because she’s better at being a horrible person than he is.
JP: “In fact, I’m extremely busy until I move to Norway, and probably after I move there too.”
MT: There are plenty of problems with generative AI–it’s bad for the environment, yes, but it’s also terrible at providing accurate information, it steals from and is being promoted to replace human creative talent, it amplifies biases already existing in the material it’s trained on, it produces bland, unimaginative pap and its long-term utility, viability and profitability is highly questionable. But Jules Rivera read one article on how much water the servers use and just decided to stop there, I guess.
MW: “Just let her poison you this once, and we’ll call it even, okay?”
9CL – These Thorax storylines always rely heavily on the female cast of the strip being cheap whores. The “humor” focuses on giving them names like “Trixie” and making sure that the concept of object permanence isn’t allowed to spoil his fun.
This one still hasn’t lived down to the last – the one with naked thorax dangling from the ceiling in chains, and a woman being shot dead in one panel then magically resurrected by the next.
@The Rambling Otter: Why must you afflict me so with your reason and logic
Blondie Barber makes a dad-joke level pun, and all Dagwood can do is stare off into the distance. No looking at the reader with a “what the heck?” look of surprise on his face. C’mon man, standards are slipping here!
@GarrisonSkunk: I’m giving half credit particularly because of Quark.
It was a throwaway bit in the revived Pogo (late 80s/early 90s). On the counter of Mr. Muggle’s store was a tray with that saying.
DT: “There’s a whole horde of them marauding Visigoths to see y’all.” Honestly, this strip (and a lot of others) could only benefit from the sudden appearance of Visigoths. Or Ostrogoths, even.
GT: Oooh, this is how it started when “Dark Shadows” began transitioning from boring gothic mystery/romance to crazy supernatural soap opera. Get ready for the return of Count Thorp!
MW: So Wilbur downplays any kind of problem that Dawn goes through to get the focus back on him. Remind me again why he’s considered the better parent?
“You were taking advantage of Jared? Well, let me tell you about how my exes left me and how it wasn’t my fault…”
“You had a guy who was emotionally and verbally abusive to you? Well, forget about things that you don’t like and let me tell you about all the sex I had on vacation…”
“You and Belle aren’t getting along? Suck it up, buttercup; daddy needs some action.”
Also watch as the little spine Dawnie gained from the last storyline completely disappears.
@astroboy: Wouldn’t it be simpler just to send her to the fern bar Dustin hangs out at?
FC: “2 + 4 = 6…” [enter Jeffy] “6 – 6 = 0”
@Chance: #3
That was absolutely brilliant. \0/
MW: Apparently Wilbur hasn’t yet discovered the defaced picture of him and Dawn, unless Belle-of-the-Ball hid it or threw it out, in which case Wilbur won’t even notice its absence. And as usual, this whole mini-drama is ALL ABOUT HIM, while Dawn’s feelings are subsumed into the gaping maw of his libido. *ICK…*
Rex Morgan: The chain of events here is baffling. We started with Summer having empty nest feelings, moved to her trying online dating, than to her getting stalked, than to her stalker randomly dying, her boyfriend being investigated for the death and the police examining the crime scene, now we’re apparently following the guy who murdered the stalker? Where the hell are we gonna go from here?
Gil Thorp: I feel like the big plot twist of this story is gonna be that Pop isn’t actually dead and just likes roleplaying as a ghost by painting himself white and “haunting” the office for God knows what reason.
Garfield: “Boy, reader, don’t you hate it when the writers of your comic can’t even be bothered to draw new ones and just edit the word balloons on old strips?”
@erdmann: “There’s a whole horde of them marauding Visigoths to see y’all”
Or a whole horde of them marauding invisigoths that we can’t see.
DT: In both classic insurance/inheritance as a motive works, Body Heat and Double Indemnity, the widow and insurance agent fall out and ultimately plot to kill each other – is that going to happen to Uncle Piltdown and Auntie?
MW: the tempo has slowed, so will it be a serious poison, like strychnine or just some ipecac?
RMMD: The patrol cop that was trying to crack the case by framing Augie must be like the Jedi before their fall: years of success has made him complacent and he no longer can sense the presence of evil. (despite the glowering face)
RMMD- “ Hey you! What are you doing here?”
“Uh, everybody’s got to be someplace?”
Dustin: I’m not snarking. I think it’s time for the writer of this strip to make some changes. How about connecting Dustin with a girl who doesn’t instantly reject him? There might be some humor in that. And see what happens if he gets a job and keeps it–just for a change. You can do it. I’m probably the only one but I’d like the strip better if some changes were made.
RMMD: As many previous commenters have wondered, lots of criminals actually are that stupid. Several serial killers have been caught because they couldn’t resist returning to the scenes of their crimes, or their victims graves, to chortle over their handiwork.
Pluggers: What, no sales tax? In Texas that $9.99 item would cost you about $10.85.
@ValdVin: Reminds me of that joke in Superhero Movie where the protagonist is denied buying a car because he’s too broke.
Rick: But your sign says, “No Money? no Credit? No problem!”
Dealer: That was our old promotion. (puts out a new sign)
“No Money? No Credit? Eat Shit!”
@Daisy: Wilbur showed more emotion for his dead goldfish and almost committed suicide when his stupid advice column (which he outsources to Mary when he just doesn’t feel like doing his job) but casually blows off Dawn feeling rejected by her mother (or so she claims) and her emotionally abusive relationship by telling her to not remember unpleasant things. It pretty much sums up just what Wilbur considers a priority in his life.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Then there was that infamous time, I was watching either on C.O.PS or Live PD (one of them) where a guy texted his drug dealer to confirm where and when the deal will take place. But he against all odds, accidentally sent the text to the police. I mean, HOW does that even happen?
@Needless Exposition: I should say “when he almost lost his stupid advice column.” Anyone remember Wilbur literally threatening to kill himself because nobody wanted to take advice from a self absorbed, overpaid, paunchy middle aged man?
GT: Notice our coach who is taking off and leaving the light on, sees the suitable-for-framing 8″x10″ of Pop at the end of the hall. Any major ghost hunter will tell you it’s probably only the picture that’s haunted. The sooner it’s out in the Milford landfill the better!
@White Rabbit: There used to be a reality show called “Haunted Collector” about a guy who goes around to haunted houses, finds out what object is triggering the ghost in that home, then takes the object to his museum full of other cursed/haunted objects.
I would never set foot in that museum for my life.
@The Rambling Otter: #33
That was touching. Thank you.
@Guy Nerdlinger: Maybe Dagwood forgot which camera to look at?
@Needless Exposition: #103
EXACTLY. And that makes this comic strip nauseating to read. :-p
@The Rambling Otter: #107
Yes! I remember such shows. Remember the notorious “Robert the Doll”? He is kept in a glass case in a museum (in Key West, I believe) and if a tourist doesn’t politely ask his permission before taking his picture, terrible things happen to that person, as attested by the multitude of postcards and letters sent to the museum recounting the awful string of bad luck, sickness, accidents, loss, etc. resulting from their careless behavior in front of the doll.
Pluggers: First of all there are certain items for which sales tax isn’t charged. Also we need the OCD people who are willing to count out 50 Pennies and put them in a tiny paper roll.
Mother Goose: I think that even if a goose could speak and lived in a house it would spend the majority of its time in the bathroom because they are water fowl.
Beetle Bailey: Surprised that the creators of this comic haven’t tried to cash in on the inconceivable success of Forrest Gump by making their own movie about Zero who has been around for over 60 years
@Joe Blevins:
We’re glad to see that the periwinkle majority is integrated, with a couple of Black people in the back.
Dustin: permit me to drone on. Why can’t they give Dustin a girlfriend–an attractive young woman who seems to like him? There would still be room for Dusinesque humor with self doubt, disbelief and Dustin being needing to stop being an idiot. Is there a rule against comic strip characters growing?
MW: “She just wants to poison you. Is that so bad? Look, I’ll make a deal with you: drink it and I’ll publish an article about you posthumously, “She Shouldn’t Have Been Alive.”
RMMD — “Who is this man, and why is he in the crowd?”
Who am I, Shylock Fox?
DtM — This must be some of that 5-D menacing that the kids talk about today. . .
GT — “I’ll leave the light on for you.”
This ain’t no Motel 6! Electricity doesn’t grow on trees! Turn that darn light off or the district will cancel Women’s Badminton!
@Professor Well Actually: No. No rule against it but then they couldn’t milk the gag fo all it’s worth. haha Dustin gets rejected yet AGAIN.
RMMD-You guessed it. Frank Stallone.
Garfield: “I made veggie lasagna with tofu cheese and kale, and I fed it to the guy who was just here about to eat this sandwich. The lasagna was poisoned, and he died.” So Garfield is right to photograph the crime scene.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
My favorite dumb criminals are the morons with drugs in their car who just beg to get pulled over by speeding.
DU-UH!
Dustin: I would be entertained if Dustin brought nice pretty girl home. Meg does her mean girl snark and nice girl shuts her down.
@Needless Exposition: To be fair, he didn’t just want to kill himself because the local paper stopped carrying his awful advice. He was also dealing with the supreme tragedy of his shower radio breaking.
MW — Just wait until Belle goes after the fish…
@Unca Bob: “RMMD- “ Hey you! What are you doing here?”
“Uh, everybody’s got to be someplace?””
Wherever you go … there you are.
RMMD:. Because he’s the PUSHER who forced dead guy to buy and take some bad drugs. You know, the one old TV shows portrayed as a violent young black man with gold teeth and chains. Since (and before) the fall of the stock market the gig has been taken over by unemployed workers on Wall Street. He’s there just to ensure he didn’t leave his firm’s business card. /s
@Activist: Wasn’t there a Mary Worth plot with Tommy the Tweaker that was basically the same thing?
RMMD: Possibly this has been pointed out before, but when a dead body is found in a car, it is not automatically a reason for TV news crews and a crowd of neighbors to show up. In the Greater Cowplop region here in Iowa, there have been dead bodies found in cars very occasionally over the decades, and while I remember small newspaper stories, I don’t remember TV news coverage. It might be different if the dead body and/or the car were riddled with bullets or some such, but this RMMD stalker is just dead, no cause known yet. Also in Greater Cowplop, the neighbors would be likely to stay home and hope the police would handle the situation and get the car and the body and the reporters out of their neighborhood ASAP. The Rexiverse is clearly different, what with the people being blue and sullen and bringing their children to try to give the kiddies a chance to see how Mister Death works.
@Lauralot: Ah, yes, truly it’s the end of days when the world is temporarily denied the caterwauling of a dumpy bald man with the personality of a chewed gumball.
@Activist: Every time I see the word Pusher, I think of the Jack Black character on Clone High who was trying to get the kids to smoke raisins (it makes sense in context). He did have a sweet ass matching pantsuit.
@Guillermo el chiclero: It’s nice of you to keep your comment G-rated, but we know that chortling was not the only reason certain serial killers revisited their victims, ewwww. Three cheers for the advances in forensic science that have helped cause a big decline in serial killers in the last fifty years.
GA: Walt is finally headed home now, which means an exciting new story is about to begin. Don’t you want to join the followers of GASOLINE ALLEY and read the new story? You’d be very welcome! We’d love it if you became one of us! One of us…one of us…
@The Rambling Otter: Reminds me of the Home Boys Used Car Sale (from In Living Color):
No credit? No Problem.
No References? No Problem.
No Money? PROBLEM. We’re strictly a cash-n-carry operation.
MW: Not poisoned but drugged. Taken to a Megacorp “dormitory” in Florida and behind the razor wire will learn to screw together Apple iPhones 14 hours a day.
@Needless Exposition:
I’mma gunna lure ’em/with bans and boycotts./First they’ll smoke raisins/then they’ll shoot up apricots.
CS: This answers the eternal question of why Crankshaft hasn’t been fired. Apparently he’s a role model to be emulated by other drivers
@Lauralot: Possibly one of the best uses for Jack Black before he became radically overused with Kung Fu Panda and that Minecraft movie. I can’t hate on him as Bowser, though, because he was a damn good Bowser.
DtM: Hey, since the Wilsons seem resigned to having the irritating neighbor kid over all the time maybe they should invest in a lock for the bathroom door.
GT: Coach Teddy must have just gone to haunt San Juan Hill with the rest of the Rough Riders.
RMMD: The face, stance, and hairline all tell me this is either John Locke or the Smoke Monster pretending to be John Locke, so we’re in the “random crossovers to save it” part of the storyline.
BB: Zero, you fool, don’t you remember that in the Army you don’t volunteer for anything? Especially not the Pentagon’s experiments with modular battle prosthetics.
C-Shaft: One might wonder why the district is holding this event in the middle of a budget crunch, if one really wanted to torment oneself.
Dustin: Their advances might go better if they figured out what to do with their hands. Fitch is, uh, not on the right track.
JP: Abbey thinks, “I dyed my hair magenta for this?”
Luann: No recognizable rhyme or meter so it turns out that yes, Luann can screw up free verse like all the other forms.
MW: Wilbur still hasn’t questioned the fact that his no-strings Cancun fling has basically moved in on zero moment’s notice. With most men you’d guess that he’s not thinking with the big head, but in his case the both heads are a tossup intelligence-wise.
Phantom: Diana’s got a lot on her mind, so her daughter’s troubling habit of slipping into TV presenter mode gets right past her.
@Needless Exposition: He was a great Bernie.
MW: yes Wilbur just tell your daughter to ignore the “I’ll get you my pretty” Lucretia Borgia vibes from the mad woman in the kitchen.
Also seeing as you had a complete emotional breakdown about a dead fish. You’re not the one to lecture anyone about their emotions.
I’m *there* for this Rex Morgan, MD x Star Trek: The Next Generation crossover event! Why is Captain Picard visiting the early 21st century this time? Is the Temporal Cold War stepping into a new phase? I’m on the edge of my seat!
Without that balloon, I never would’ve wondered who that man was, OR why he was in the crowd! I NEED YOU REX MORGAN MD WRITERS!
FC – Sure, everyone is trying to save money nowadays, but it’s downright cheap to make Billy use holier than thou Grandma’s bookbag from her elementary school days in the1950s. The other kids probably laugh at him because he doesn’t have a backpack.
Crankshaft – So Crankshaft isn’t the only asshole bus driver. This competition looks like it’s measuring assholery.
Rex Morgan – I refuse to believe the narration box. That narration box has been dead to me since it promised that Buck would get sick from drinking milkshakes while diabetic, and nothing happened.
@Lauralot: Didn’t Mary advise him to cure his suicidal depression by taking up karaoke?
@Poteet: Hey, what happens in Cowplop, stays in Cowplop.
@I speak Jive: I saw a clip, of a school bus driver who was drunk off his ass while driving a bus with about 40 kids. Thankfully no kids were hurt, but he was pulled over by police who immediately arrested him.
He was fired and was no longer allowed to work with children in the future.
Crankshaft however still has his position, regardless of his shitty workmanship, horrible demeanor and overall unpleasantness.
In the real world he would have at least gotten one reprimand on his record years ago.
About Jack Black/Kung Fu Panda discussion from earlier.
The fact that the Furious Five were completely absent from the promotional materials in Kung Fu Panda 4, turned me off of the movie.
Not that I saw the third film yet.
Although I did watch the TV series based on the movies. It was very enjoyable regardless of dubious canon.
One of my favourite episodes was when Po learned an amnesia technique, and would use it on the Furious 5 every time he did something dumb around them (which was often) but doing the technique too much would eventually over time wear their memories down to the point they would become braindead vegetables who forget how to even breathe (and would then die)
That episode gave some good lines.
Monkey: I can’t seem to remember my name.
Tigress: I think your name is… Monkey?
Monkey: That’s silly, I AM a monkey why would my name be Monkey?
@The Rambling Otter: I remember reading that story in elementary school (4th/5th grade) in the book ‘The Dark Thirty: Southern Tales of the Supernatural’. In the story about the buses, the racist driver who denied the doomed woman and her child entry was killed in a road accident while driving the bus exactly one year later. I remember the description of his demise:
‘Now you’ve done it, lunkhead, he thought. As he passed into the final darkness, he could hear the sound of a baby crying…’
I still remember some of the other stories in that book just as vividly. Two words: Boo Mama.
@The Rambling Otter: Crankshaft once left a kid on the bus after he completed his route. This has happened in real life, and the bus driver was fired. Crankshaft is the worst school bus driver ever, but there are never any consequences.
@The Rambling Otter: I remember reading that story in 4th/5th grade, in the book ‘The Dark Thirty: Southern Tales of the Supernatural’.
@I speak Jive: Yes, yes she did. I guess that’s slightly better than after his fish died when she just yelled at him to snap out of it? Or maybe it’s worse.
Gil Thorp – Any readers of Yehuda Moon out there? I’m getting Fred vibes.
Garfield – Matzah Lasagne season is upon us!