Major and minor developments
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Six Chix, 6/19/25
Remember kids, the daily comics aren’t just for laffs; they also can provide important safety information. For instance, have you ever wondered if it was possible to turn your ankle while wearing Uggs? Well, the answer: is yes. It’s also possible to do so while wearing Crocs, which is what I’m reasonably sure we’re looking at in this cartoon.
Family Circus, 6/19/25
Over the years of doing this blog, I’ve slowly changed my position on the Family Circus children from “God, the Keane Kids are annoying” to “Haha, the Keane Kids are annoying, and that is in fact the joke in the Family Circus most days.” I’m really enjoying Big Daddy Keane’s facial expression in this one. “Well, that’s one fewer college savings fund we’re going to need,” he’s thinking.
Mary Worth, 6/19/25
“Yes, Mary, it’s true that Belle tried to turn me into goo from the inside with a powerful liquid solvent, but have you considered the fact that Wilbur is no longer getting laid on the regular? Who’s the real victim here?”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/19/25
“I know a good doctor, but he doesn’t like it when you make him do medical stuff, so I don’t want to bug him about it. I’m sure whatever private equity fund paid 23 And Me’s creditors pennies on the dollar for rights to use the company’s branding won’t steer us wrong in any legally actionable sense!”
Blondie, 6/19/25
Big news, everybody: Blondie and Dagwood are getting a divorce. It’s been a long and winding road for these two in more than 90 years of marriage, and I think I speak for everyone in wishing them and their children the best during this difficult time.
102 replies to “Major and minor developments”
I’m glad that Josh is posting at the regular time this morning. With yesterday’s delay, I fear that he might have spilled a mayonnaise- and ketchup-infused creamy salad dressing on his laptop, and that doing so had gummed up his ability to export his commentary for the day. You know — Russian interference.
RMMD-“I charge extra for adding a third partner.”
MW-Poor Wilbur. He tried to expand what should have been a one time thing into something more.
BG-SS: One thing that really irritates me is when writers use slang that they believe is hip.
“Bodacious” is not hip, it’s cringy as hell.
Heck, just today I was on reddit and someone said (about dressing up their character in a videogame)
“Here’s what my jelly wore this week” I spent almost a hour trying to figure out what that meant before giving up, Google was no help (directed me to slang for “Jealous” which obviously does not fit the criteria)
Edit: The closest thing I could come up with is maybe “jelly” refers to their significant other?
Like “The jelly to my peanut butter”? But that’s stretching it.
“You know a good doctor?! Who is he? Ooo, ooo, does he provide cake?”
– Rex Morgan
@The Rambling Otter: It’s also annoying when someone online uses terms that only applies to them, and expect others to know.
Someone online once finished a message with “I’m Inter”
I thought that was a LGBTQ+ term that I never heard of before, so I asked them.
They said that “Inter” is their username on a different site.
How would I know that??
MW: The irony is that Dawn is going to school for Liberal Arts but her submissive nature and putting a man’s needs over her own has her more suitable for being a housewife in the 1950s. Mary smiles smugly, knowing that she’s done a good job.
They kinda look like Uggs and Crocs combined, which would tear open a vortex in space/time that would have to consume something beautiful in compensation. As was foretold.
SC to be fair to the “artist”, I believe what we’re looking at there is the Ugg ‘Tasman’ slipper. A more recent ankle height design.
@The Rambling Otter: An hour? Literal 60 minutes?
Blondie : should be more genre savvy; she should be asking Dagwood to stand up, so that he can fall over backwards, feet only in frame, with a loud PLOP!
***************
Family Circus : Jeffy and Dolly learned how to clean glassware from a cartoon where a gross old-timey bartender was spitting into a glass and then wiping it with his hankerchief. That cartoon is no longer allowed in the Keane Kompound.
MW:
After their garden tete-a-tete, Mary invites Dawn to participate with her in a round of Therapeutic Karaoke at the nearby local venue — at which Dawn discovers, to her surprise and chagrin, that Belle and Avery haven’t actually left town, but that instead Belle, accompanied by Avery, is doing a Paul Simon-adapted take on her departure from Wilbur:
“The problem is all inside your head,” he said to me.
“The answer is easy if it’s staked teleologically.
I’d like to help you in your juggle to be free:
There must be grifty ways to leave your blubber.”
He said, “It’s really not my habit to extrude;
Furthermore, I hope my leanings won’t be tossed or disabused.
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of bein’ skewed:
There must be grifty ways to leave your blubber.
Grifty ways to leave your blubber.
“You just slip out the back, whack
Make a new plan, Ann
No need to be coy, Floy
Just get yourself free
Hop on and cuss, plus,
You don’t need to disgust much
Just drop off with me, Bree
And get yourself free.
Ooh, slip out the back, whack
Make a new plan, Ann
You don’t need to be coy, Floy
You just listen to me
Hop on and cuss, plus
You don’t need to disgust much
Just drop off with me, Bree
And get yourself free.”
He said, “It peeves me so to see you in such strain
I wish there were something I could do to make you style again.”
I said, “I appreciate that — and would you please explain about the grifty ways?”
He said, “Why don’t we just bleep on it tonight?
And I believe in the morning, you’ll begin to see what’s right.”
And then he dissed me, and I realized he probably was right:
There must be grifty ways to leave your blubber.
Grifty ways to leave your blubber.
“You just slip out the back, whack
Make a new plan, Ann
No need to be coy, Floy
Just get yourself free
Hop on and cuss, plus
You don’t need to disgust much
Just drop off with me, Bree
And get yourself free.
Slip out the back, whack
Make a new plan, Ann
No need to be coy, Floy
Just listen to me.
Hop on and cuss, plus
You don’t need to disgust much
Just drop off with me, Bree
And get yourself free.”
I’ve never heard of Uggs and I’m not that concerned that I haven’t.
MW: Speaking of INNER TURMOIL, Mary’s mild rejoinders are only spurring Dawn to more feverish heights of intense feeling about Wilbur. There’s some sort of orgasmic revelation building, here. I’m not sure if it’s Dawn getting a sudden release when she finally gets that Wilbur is a hopeless schlub, or Mary finally achieving satisfaction when Dawn praises her for her wise counsel. But it’s coming…!
MW: “Good, Dawn, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to stop being selfish about all this. *You* should be apologizing to your father! Now stand there while I rub Dirk in your face some more.” (Mary thinks to herself that this would make a good Ask Wendy column.)
Frazz: What is even going on here?
Luann: Oh, Luann, you’re just so busy with junior college, your part-time job at Weenie Hut, and your tutoring job that has no hours for you. When are you ever going to have time to not go on a date with Phil?
Crankshaft: A week after building a custom AI gardening system, Crankshaft is confused by the concept of Google Maps. Next week: Crankshaft can’t read again!
MW: “Being murdered is one thing but being in love with a would-be murderer is even worse…
…Wait a minute. That’s really stupid.”
Dear, I have some bad news, are you sitting down? I moved the landline to lowest bench in the house.
@Nobody: Almost a hour, more like 40 minutes before giving up.
I was going to complain about Dagwood’s corded phone being so out of date.
Except, that is completely in character for Dithers to cheap out and get the oldest dinosaur phones he could find.
MW: Is Dawn assuming that Wilbur feels guilty that his girlfriend tried to murder her? Pretty sure he’s already forgotten about that part.
Blondie: You most certainly do not speak for me if you wish the best for Dagwood.
Blondie: We can precisely date when the last human Blondie artist died off by that cordless telephone. I’m thinking 1995.
6 Chix: The decision to frame this under the divider of a bathroom cubicle really adds to the layers. Do you think she sprained her ankle in the middle of a particularly violent digestive episode, or is she standing up and about to topple headfirst into the toilet bowl?
Chix (sic):
Answer: Yes
Question: Is it possible to turn your ankle while wearing Uggs?
Nope. Still not funny.
Anyone who was ever wondering just how Dawn got into a relationship with Dirk should no longer be surprised. Dawn has absolutely no brains, no spine, no sense of self worth, and has done nothing but drift around for the past two decades without any significant progress. She’s a jellyfish who has nothing to offer but being a submissive yes-man. It used to be that she did intern work but every single time it was just an excuse to put her in a situation where she can get into another toxic relationship.
All Dawn has left is to be Wilbur’s substitute wife when he doesn’t have anyone around. And that’s a fate worse than death.
RMMD:
“Son, let’s celebrate our interaction with the DNA world by pickin’ up our guitars and doin’ a cover version of Roxy Music’s ‘Do the Strand‘ !”
@Bob Tice: I was expecting you to say “He spilled mayonnaise… then Wilbur immediately rushes into his room licks up the mayonnaise then being the fat oaf that he is, ends up accidentally destroying Josh’s phone and computer, rendering him unable to upload yesterdays comics”
6Chix: What I don’t understand is why they needed a public toilet stall to illustrate this.
@The Rambling Otter: I think their character’s name is Jelly! See this postcard which I found by looking at their comment history.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Well, obviously Mrs. Olsen catalogued EVERY SINGLE ONE of her homework assignments, as one does, and the ‘genius’ kid’s solution here is to have Adult Calvin, Janitor reenact a 29-year-old movie, except that was not done feet away from a person from a public school ceiling that could not support weight like that. I guess to change her grade book, which, I mean, do teachers have those anymore? Did they ever, really? Does he have indistinguishable pen and writing? Couldn’t make more sense, man!
@matt w: Thank you so much!
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Frazz: What is even going on here?
Frazz is dropping from the ceiling, Mission Impossible-style, to drop the homework so that Caufield’s friends are in the clear and Mrs Olsen has to release them.
It’s not Caufield’s FRIENDS
*homework, not his, because a) Mallet has realised Caufield never handing in homework makes him look like a lazy underacheiver instead of a flawless A+ genius; b) Mallet has realised Caufield should probably have friends his own age instead of just the school janitor.*who I’m pretty sure have never appeared/existed in this strip until now?***************
Luann : it’s okay, a relationship where they never date because of the guy’s work schedule is a GOOD thing now, that proves the strength of their relationship! Just like how Luann’s relationship with Quill was strong despite him constantly moving away forever multiple times! (Well, up until it wasn’t okay for Quill to not have a 100 %-free schedule to date Luann, then it was Dumpsville for him!)
What heartache? What turmoil? Wilby Hon was inhaling hamburger she hamburger without a care in the world just day before yesterday.
Jeffy washed and Dolly dried, but who put the dishes away? That cabinet looks inaccessible to someone Dolly’s height, even with a stepping stool (though I SUPPOSE she might have climbed up on the counter?). The point is, I’m seeing adult involvement here. Maybe ol’ Thelma is sick enough of housework that, faced with a choice of re-washing all the dishes herself vs. “ah, fuck it, I’ll just put the damn things away,” she went for the latter. Bill looks like a man considering how best to get out of Dodge before she REALLY snaps.
Related question: Why don’t these people own a dishwasher?
Rex Morgan: “I don’t see us going to COURT over anything.”
–Rene Belluso has entered the chat–
@Ukranazi Stepan: Wilbur and Dawn’s relationships just ended abruptly with a blue-balling brother and a twenty pound bowling ball respectively.
JP: Somehow they just went with “I guess we’ll be working and living in Oslo” with ZERO information? But we’re not even going to get a “stranded in rural countryside where they can’t speak the language” plot, because this is the “Christmas town” of Norway, with art galleries, a golf course, beaches, and a saltwater aquarium.
MW: Dawn, quit thinking so little of yourself and downplaying your troubles, I assure you nobody else is going to care for you.
6C: Tune in tomorrow when we answer the burning question: Is it possible to get death-rolled and dismembered by a crocodile while wearing Crocs?
MW: I know Moy thinks it’s amusing, but turning Mary into “full-time Wilbur enabler” when her whole thing is supposed to be “giver of good advice” is so tone-deaf it makes my brain hurt.
MW: For Wilbur, heartbreak and regret are all in a day’s work. Inner turmoil? Just the result of the last sack of greasy ribs he devoured.
RMMD: I could read “War and Peace” in the time it’s taking Truck to stick a cotton swab in his pie-hole.
6CHX: Well, no one says,”Cro-o-o-c-s!” when they sprain their ankle. And they don’t make shoes called, “@#$!!%,” which is what I generally say.
Sure, walk serenely through the garden cutting roses while talking about a very recent attempted murderer by a dangerously unbalanced woman. Honestly if Mary was a super-villain, purely aesthetically I don’t know what she’d do differently. “I’ve watched several of Wilbur’s girlfriend’s come and go, Dawn. And Belle was no good for him. Like a weed” (snip) “that needs to be cut” (more forceful snip)
6Cx: I was going to say that looks less like a rolled ankle than a massive tibia fracture, but I think we’ve established that the creatures that inhabit this strip are some species of humanoid jellyfish, so we’ll give them a pass.
FC: “..and Billy buttered!”
MW: It’s funny how Mary is barely involving herself in the antics of her neighbors anymore, to the point that her already vague advice is barely on topic. “Yes Dawn, it is good that you recognize your father’s…erm…struggles? I’m sure he could use your support while dealing those issues you mentioned, which I was totally listening to. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a walk-on role in Dick Tracy…”
RMMD: Ah yes, “DNA Test”, by Milton Bradley. Spin the wheel, pick a card and find out who your daddy is!
Truck’s possible son: Let’s listen to some music before we do the test, do you like Muddy Boots? It’s my favourite!
Truck: (Did I have a fling with Yvonne at some point…?)
Six Chix: The daily comics aren’t just for laffs, or safety information. They’re also for working out your bitter experiences related to brand-name footwear, such as the time the tibia and talus in one of your legs spontaneously turned into a puddle of goo, possibly from being bit by a radioactive spider, the day you happened to be wearing Uggs.
6C – Maybe next Tuesday we can get this question answered with respect to Doc Martens. I’m surprised today’s post didn’t weigh in, so Josh – you can turn your ankle in Keen Targhee II’s!
GT: Backgrounds are back! The holosuite glitch is stabilizing! Leo is facing a difficult moment. Should he pitch right handed or left handed? It looks like in frame 3 he is struggling to get his hands and glove sorted out. Is that even a glove or is some throwback leather football helmet?
DT: ? So there is an evil doppelganger from a time fracture?
MW: ? again, the writers can’t be doing this by accident. Dawnie dodged a horrible death three times (pipe cleaner tea, poisoned pasta, and messed up mushroom dish). Wilbur meanwhile was obliviously happy – in a post-coital and post-prandial state of contentment until Willa sent out a telepathic cry for help. Of course, only we the audience knows how wrong this analysis by MW and Dawnie is, part of the fun I suppose of being a follower of the strip.
RMMD: No, Truck, no – these mail in DNA tests are for fun but in actuality far from good enough. He should just get a formal accurate blood test from RMMD – you know the guy who is the reportedly the lead character of this strip.
JP: fun fact Drobak is to the south of Oslo and is town of 13,000 people on the east coast of Oslofjord. If we take a scenic tour of the Drobak Akvarium we know that this whole thing was a wonderful way to defer some of the cost of a fun Norwegian vacation for the writer and artist as a legitimate business expense and deductible. That sign cartoon and the use of the words by the cabbie are proof of the need for the “fact finding” mission.
@pugfuggly: Considering how we’ve had nothing but Weston stories this year and Weston-proximity stories, Mary’s this close to being Barney Goggle’d out for the Wilbur Weston Show so she needs to do some work if she wants to live in a condo in a predominantly white Southern California city.
RMMD: I feel a crossover with Dick Tracy coming up after the DNA company is used to find who was at a crime scene.
You couldn’t get a finer, more quintessential Mary Worth than today’s installment, with Mary spouting cheery platitudes as she huffs rose fumes. “Yes, Dawn. Yesss…heartache, regrets…But tell me more about the sweet, sweet inner turmoil. God, yes, tell me more!”
MW – Oh, look who thinks her father has an inner life more complicated than an amoeba’s.
@treetown:
On Dick Tracy : I think the “solution” to this “mystery” is that the culprit is actually FUTURE LOVEJOY framing his past self for the theft because he needs to close the time loop.
@Needless Exposition: Yeah, we need arcs with better characters like Ian…. no wait, Saul… no. Let’s just admit that they’re all equally terrible.
Except Libby.
Yeah! just weeks of Libby doing normal cat stuff.
FC: “Today Jeffy washed and I boogered.”
Okay, let’s start a betting pool on whom Blondie’s about to reveal she’s having an affair with. The smart money’s on Mr. Beasley, the mail man, but neighbor Herb is also a strong contender. Garbagemen Abercrombie & Fitch are longshots, but could pay off big. If it’s Elmo, all bets are off.
Blondie: [Syrupy melodrama music swells] “You see, dear, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is getting rid of…artificial food dyes.” [Thumping noise on other end of line, groaning] “Dear, were you sitting down? Dear? Dear?!”
@Dan: MW: I see Mary as Nero Wolfe, but clipping roses instead of orchids. She meddles without ever leaving her lair.
GT: Today, the batter is wearing a fur trapper’s hat.
Rex Morgan creator Terry Beatty: “Uh-oh. I appear to have created a scenario in which the services of a doctor could be required! What to do, what to do? Think, man, THINK!”
(Tense minutes pass as RMCTB paces the floor of his studio.)
“A-HA! Got it!”
(Sits down, writes the second panel of today’s RMMD.)
RMCTB: “WHEW! That was a close one!”
@The Rambling Otter: If the whole comic turned into Libby being a vet companion cat, then it would be the best transformation of all time. Plus Pierre and Odin having their own little thing on the side as they scheme to get top tier treats. It could be a Heathcliff knockoff and I would read it.
@pugfuggly: RMMD: That inspires me, maybe if I ever write a science fiction novel. One brief scene could have two futuristic characters playing a DNA themed board game, that literally (temporarily) alters their DNA as they play.
“Move two spaces, pick a card… I now have a bear arm.”
“Okay my turn… oops I landed on the chicken head space! And now I have to give you 20 Quadloids and move back two spaces, which lands me on the lizard tail space.”
@Astroboy: Some people predicted Mary would take a victory lap at the end of this story. Well, this is the victory lap. Not to celebrate her own perceived role in solving the problem, but to remind us all how much Poow Widdwe Wiwbur suffered. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s going to get worse.)
@The Rambling Otter: Come for the snark, stay for the Reddit forensics.
In this conjectural Pets of Mary Worth strip, will all the humans talk like the adults in Peanuts?
This is what the Keene parents get for serving mashed potatoes in a tea cup.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I love how we’re supposed to be feeling sorry for the guy who said that he cared more about getting laid than the fact that his daughter wasn’t feeling safe in her own home. Especially since we found out that all the freaky sex he tried to keep having was possibly non consensual due to Belle’s mental state.
@Astroboy: It would be an improvement and much more coherent than what they’re currently saying.
@The Rambling Otter:
Well, you know, if the physicists are right that there is a multiverse, and that there is a distinct universe for each and every thing that could logically happen, there is probably a scenario in which exactly what you describe has indeed happened.
@Needless Exposition: @Astroboy: If all of the human dialogue is literally changed to “Waaah waaah waaah waaah waaah” Wilbur, Dawn and Toby will be exactly the same.
“Mary, Dad is the real victim! He must be devastated! Imagine having to think ‘Did I ignore my daughter’s needs for selfish reason? Did I have sex with a women not fully in control, making me a rapist?”
“Don’t worry Dawn! Your dad doesn’t have enough interior life to be tormented by these questions!”
FC: Bil Thinks; “Keep at those chores, kids. A few more years of practice and I won’t have to lift a finger around the house.” He shouts; “Hey, Billy! Go give the mower another try.” [Rock flies through window]
@The Rambling Otter: Yup. Toby’s pretty much just a vacant eyed space filler mainlining quaaludes and box wine until Ian replaces her with a younger model (probably Dawn Weston) as soon as Toby gets a wrinkle or her liver is shot.
GT: P1: Douglas deploys his light saber.
P2: Leo notices that the crowd has carried the bleachers into the infield.
P3: Leo grasps his glove with both hands, Darn its heavy!
MW: “Karen, did Dawn let Dirk abuse her and devalue her so because her father is equally selfish and abusive?”
“What June? I don’t understand.”
“Nevermind.”
CS: Take it from a tourist: Manhattan is primarily laid out in a grid pattern and they’ve helpfully numbered basically all the streets (E-W) and avenues (N-S)!
Now, there are exceptions, but I really don’t see any blood relative of Ed’s going to Greenwich Village.
Luann: Coming to grips with the early bird / night owl thing at this stage shows a side of Luann we usually doesn’t see.
BG&SS: Nice to see there’s at least one Luann in the comics who can cook.
Beetle Bailey: OA for Sarge. AA for Gen. Halftrack. SAA for Killer?
I really appreciate the way Blondie and Dagwood each hold the phone’s earpiece far enough away from their head so we the reader can hear both sides of the conversation.
Six Chix – Josh has stumbled onto the truth – The “joke” was originally about Crocs, until the editor’s heavy sigh at reading the first draft was mistaken as feedback.
Family Circus – The Family Circus is the proto-type for the family vlogger model – the children and their actions are exploited for content to fill the quota and make the parents potentially wealthy. This has led to Jeff Keane having to continue the cycle of exploitation, harvesting his own childhood incompetence to keep the zombie strip going, since he was damned by reputation to never be hirable in any job, even as a lowly dishwasher.
Mary Worth – The only inner turmoil Wilbur feels is indigestion from his terrible diet.
Rex Morgan, MD – Truck’s only inheritance will be a small stake in a legal settlement from the AI companies that will steal his and other musicians copyrighted material, and most of that will go to paying off back rent at the hotel he is living and will die in.
Blondie – “King’s Feature Syndicate is ending our strip after 94 years. They are using the distraction of the war in Iran to help bury the bad news.”
FC: “Daddy, I found these cups under Billy’s bed, so I put them away. There were a bunch of old National Geographics too, but I threw those out. The pages were all stuck together.”
DtM – Ketchum LLC answers the challenge: Say Margaret has a stick up her ass without saying Margaret has a stick up her ass.
@Cloots: Or possibly an UGG Women’s Classic Ultra Mini. It’s Six Chix – where you can’t tell a hat from a boa constrictor that has eaten an elephant.
Either way, it’s a $100 house slipper.
6-C – Is it possible to shit in your shoe wearing crocks….
FC – And now you know why the food service industry relies on migrants….
MW – Hellmaann’s doesn’t list the turmoil on the label. Isn’t that just packed with trans fats….
RMMD – No commie death panel doctors for this cowboy….
Blondie – I dig Blondie in that first panel. That’s all folks….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Crankshart – Try getting a GPS signal in Manhattan amid all those tall buildings. It ain’t possible.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Considering the resemblance, shouldn’t it be Cory/Cody/whatever and Rex doing the DNA tests?
6C: To be fair, being one of the undead plays merry hell on your leg joints.
MW: Oh, please. The last we saw of Wilbur he was getting hugs from Dawn and had a big dopey smile on his face; he was more distraught when his stupid fish died. I bet if you asked him about it now he’d say, “Belle who? Oh yeah, gal from Florida, interesting hairstyle. Shame about the whole crazy thing; she was a demon in the sack, let me tell you.”
@ValdVin: Also: where are they going that Crankshaft’s daughter doesn’t already know where it is? She already lives in New York. She would know how to navigate the street system. Maybe they’re going to a fancy restaurant or something, but that would be highly out of character for grumpy old Ed. The entire cast of this comic strip are the kind of people who would go to New York City and then head straight for Applebee’s. Or, this being the Funkyverse, Montoni’s.
@TheDiva: Wilbur has washed his hands clean of the whole thing and is only going to use Belle to get pity points just like he did with Estelle who he emotionally abused by threatening her cat, embarrassing her when she was trying to move on, pressuring her into marriage, and letting her believe that he was dead so that he could “surprise her.” And of course he treated her like she was a consolation prize because he still wasn’t over Iris who he “traded up” for Fabiana. But he’s the hurt party in all of this.
“So, Dagwood, I went to the furniture store to buy a stand for our telephone, and the clerk said nobody’s been making telephone specific furniture for over 70 years! I had to buy an egregiously wide white console.”
Dagwood’s head hits his desk with a loud “Klunk”!
C’shaft: The sharp topical humor keeps coming in today’s strip, where Crankshaft is mystified by a service that has been standard on cell phones for well over a decade.
GT: You heard him, Leo; that .502 record is on the line!
JP: This only works if Sophie has had absolutely zero input or knowledge on their arrangements in Norway, and just left all that stuff to Glen.
…What am I saying, of course that’s what happened.
Phantom: “I don’t know, maybe we should ask the guy in the bright purple unitard with the big wolf just hanging around back there?”
Six Chix:
“Is it possible to turn your ankle while wearing Bruno Magli?” “Yes, ma’am — golly!”
“Jimmy Choo?” “Through and through!”
“Wang?” “Dang!”
“Burberry?” “Not very.”
“Prada?” Nada.”
“Louboutin?” “Where and when?”
@ValdVin: I was going to suggest they could be in one of the other boroughs, but I’m not sure Tom Batiuk knows they exist.
Mary Worth Mashup: How Dawn should have ended this conversation.
Thanks to Banana Jr. 6000 for the inspiration.
RMMD – “I’m sure these will be fine” is the Rex Morgan equivalent of “what could possibly go wrong?”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: [Cut to HHS Lair. A giant Tesla coil crackles in background. A hooded man wearing a skinny tie cackles maniacally.]
@Banana Jr. 6000:
The entire cast of this comic strip are the kind of people who would go to New York City and then head straight for Applebee’s. Or, this being the Funkyverse, Montoni’s.
Maybe THAT’s where it’s going? They’re trying to go to the NYC branch of Montoni’s? And Chris doesn’t know where it is because she’s never been there and doesn’t remember seeing it (because it CLOSED). And then, when they follow the GPS’ direction to the letter, but still don’t find it, the strip will blame the GPS for being faulty technology (when really what happened is that Funky never updated Montoni’s website and other online data to indicate “Oh yeah, we’re not here anymore, we closed!”)?
@Baja Gaijin: Having Mary and Wilbur be slapped for their actions/words would improve the strip so much.
@Baja Gaijin: Excellent!
@Anonymous: No, they go to NYC Montoni’s and it’s still operating because of the time-altering janitor.
Blondie – Divorce? Nah. I’m holding out that Blondie’s big announcement is that Dagwood knocked her up. Just look how the birth of Lil’ Tater spiced up Snuffy Smith’s strip.
MW: This is so exhausting and makes no sense. I’m wasting brain cells trying to decide just how much I hate it.
Supposedly Dawn becoming vegan (if she still is) was because of how much people criticized Moy’s portrayal of vegetarians back in the Hillend story. I wonder how she’s going to try and make up for her portrayal of mental illness in the most hamfisted way possible. Probably try to say that Wilbur is autistic and his behavior is because his brain “doesn’t work right.”
@31 Twinkles the Elf: Reach the cabinet? My question is how did the melonheads reach the sink? They’ve been portrayed as being half as tall as the lower cabinets.
@48 The Rambling Otter: Add “annoying Wilbur Weston” to the activities and I’m all in.
@55 Needless Exposition: I’d watch.
@59 Astroboy: That could work.
@76 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Why would you need GPS there? All you have to do is ask a passing New Yorker for directions. Another passing New Yorker, overhearing the directions, jumps in to give “better” directions. Sometimes a whole crowd of New Yorkers will gather, arguing about the best way to get from here to there, overflowing into the road like an impromptu Fame Kids street dance.
@McManx: My thought as well! Who’s starting a pool?
CS: forget whether you’d need the GPS, has the authour ever used a smartphone’s directions? There are usually multiple routes tagged by distance and estimated time in each of the walking / driving / public transit categories. Ask for walking directions and you probably have 2 or 3 sets of dotted lines on the map, with the fastest highlighted. Ask for public transit, and it will likely rank your options by arrival time estimating you start at that exact moment, and knowing not only the standard bus/subway schedule but also accounting for reported delays.
(I recently had this work like a charm in a European city, I can’t imagine NY is less connected to Google maps)
RMMD — “I know a good doctor” — Wait, Truck has been stepping out on Rex as well as Wanda?
“I don’t see us going to court over anything.” The mission statement of the Parker/Driver law office.
BETWEEN FRIENDS: Susan, you see merger is poorly planned. Take the bull by the horns and either start looking for a new job or seize the opportunity and guide the transition.
JUMP START and PEANUTS: What is more scary, 1) the fact no adults are present in either scenario or 2) no one is wearing swim vest? C’mon folks– it’s smmer, model water safety.
RMMD: if it’s important, go with quality over quantity.
MW: “Inner turmoil” my flat foot. This is the schmuck who let his “loved ones” think he was dead for a week for the sake of a bit – he would surprise them by popping in for a visit one sunny afternoon. Wilbur is glad he saved the fish, and that’s about it. He’ll be back on the prowl in one quick hurry, you can darn betcha.
JP: Ah, so they’ll be working the summer at a Norwegian beach resort? Reena will be scooping artisanal ice cream, and Sophie will be a salesgirl at the fudge shop. Wearing the traditional dirndls, or whatever the local Norwegian equivalent. And dopey little caps.
Quite humiliating. Working retail is as good as watching them muck out reindeer stables.
Tourist (in Norwegian): “No, no, 250 grams of the peppermint praline, stupid blonde girl.”
Six Chix: For today’s installment, the artist seems to have been on vacation and had their six year old step in to pick up the slack. This is a disturbingly common occurence for Six Chix.
Family Circus: Oh, Dolly, you poor oblivious fool. Failure to wash the dishes properly is punishable by a week of waterboarding on the Keane Kompound.
Mary Worth: Holy shit. We are actually unironically getting more Wilbur shilling after this plot. Complete with Dawn literally saying that Wilbur is the only real victim… y’know, awhile ago, in a rant criticizing the handling of Belle and mental illness in this comic, I said that everytime you think it can’t sink lower, it does. I didn’t think that be demonstrated so soon, and like this. Jesus wept.
Rex Morgan: The fact that Truck and Son are insisting on DNA tests is laughable when they look and talk almost exactly the same, to the point Truck 2: Electric Boogaloo may as well be a clone, created through asexual budding like a starfish.