Does he think she can buy her own plane tickets or what
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Mary Worth, 9/7/25
I myself am not a parent and don’t presume to fully understand how they have to balance between fiercely protecting their children and also allowing them autonomy to follow their own goals and desires. Would I let my tween daughter travel across the country with some nice old lady who used to be my neighbor? I could see good reasons for going either way, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would definitely nail down whether this trip is one week or two before I signed off on it. That’s just common sense! Especially since her mother and I would be using her absence as an opportunity to have sex more often, I’d want to know when she’s coming back. She probably has a key and could just let herself in the apartment!
Beetle Bailey, 9/7/25
Joshreads dot com oldheads remember that years ago Lt. Fuzz turning blue was a coloring error and a sign of declining standards at the syndicate. Today, Sgt. Snorkel turning blue is a joke about how he’d rather suffer self-induced hypoxia and the resulting brain damage than simply deal with his commanding officer in a mature and respectful manner, and a sign of an entirely different kind of declining standards at the syndicate.
Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/7/25
There are tons of Lockhorns jokes about Leroy drunkenly flirting with blondes twice as tall as he is, so I’m glad the strip is finally acknowledging that Loretta, too, is sometimes horny. Her little quip doesn’t exactly make sense — is she saying that she’s going to commit this man’s rippling, muscular bod to memory so she can revisit it over and over again in her mind palace? — but it’s a good first step.
Marvin, 9/7/25
Wait, this robot yearns to play with Marvin and is overjoyed at the prospect of it? The AI haters are right, this is an evil technology that must be stopped now.
97 replies to “Does he think she can buy her own plane tickets or what”
Slylock Fox-Max was then buried in the sand.
MW-Mary is hoping Olive will take a journey into her.
FC-Make their falling into traffic look like an accident.
Eh, Josh, Olive is fourteen. She’s a teenager not a tween.
Foreshadowing Alert: Olive is either going to be stranded in a runaway hot air balloon or else rescue someone else who’s stranded in a hot air balloon, or maybe both, and I personally wish she’d just fall out of the damn hot air balloon and make a huge splat and leave Mary to explain THAT to the indulgent parents. Harrumph!
Olive, believing she foresees a disaster at the hot air balloon festival (sigh), promptly rescues a loaf of Wonder bread from…oh, let’s say falling off a shelf.
Lockhorns:
Loretta is being unfairly impugned here. She spied a bivalve that had washed up on the beach, and was only referring to “Mussel Memory.”
Marvin: An AI harpy tormenting Marvin and preventing him from getting necessary sleep? There might be some good in this AI thing after all.
So, in panel 2, is Sarge cutting a REALLY glorious fart? Or should we all be thanking God we can’t see below his waist or his right hand and he’s jacking off, isn’t he?
MW: Olive and Mary stay in separate rooms overnight at a hotel at the balloon fest and the next morning Mary is missing and no one remembers seeing her and even her room number is missing as Moy recreates the plot from one of my favorite underrated movies, So Long at the Fair? Probably not (sigh).
MW:
“What exactly happens at the balloon festival, Mary?”
“Well, you get to experience balloon angioplasties…balloon mortgages…balloon payments….”
Mary Worth: I can’t wait to see Olive at the Santa Royale Hot Air Balloon Festival. When she says “Wait, don’t get on that one,” you sure as heck better listen!
Beetle Bailey: So the other officers get annoyed when Sarge… comes in early and gets his work done? I don’t know what kind of Army they’re running here, but it can’t be the one we need.
Lockhorns: I’ve seen Muscle Beach in Venice, California, and it’s a fully equipped outdoor gym where bodybuilders can strut their stuff. Still, I’m not sure if bringing a single dumbbell onto the sand with you would be a great way to get in shape — and this guy has definitely been skimping on leg day.
Marvin: So Marvin sleeps in a crib with a hard mattress, no sheets or blankets, and a creepy stuffed bunny that’s almost as big as he is? Yep, the daytime grouchiness definitely checks out.
Mark Trail: Your tap water is probably contaminated with chemicals and bacteria, and you should test it frequently to make sure it doesn’t poison you and your family! (Man, when Mark Trail goes MAHA, it really goes MAHA.)
@A Grave Mind:
…Or should we all be thanking God we can’t see below his waist or his right hand and he’s jacking off, isn’t he?
Might also explain how Abbey knows Sophie really misses Glen.
MW: Nice bogus show of reluctance from the people who plan to pack it all up and vanish without a trace.
RMMD: Holy mother of Boxcar Willie, that Cody is one dim bulb!
Blondie: Cora is waiting for Jules to turn around and get a look at her new 44Ds.
MW:
“If it’s just that her balloon ride will get tangled up in live power lines, or that she’ll plummet to her demise, I’ll allow it!”
Beetle Bailey: Okay comic, never have Sarge go “Ahhhh….” while viewing a computer screen ever again.
Lockhorns: While the comic does have Loretta gazing over at the beefcake, the syndicate knows that they can show sexy blondes but not hot men. So they purposely censored this by blurring it as much as humanly possible.
Lockhorns (2): Seeing as no-one else is bringing up the blurriness, is it me? Is my eyesight going? But only towards The Lockhorns? Will I soon go into a specific blindness, where I will be able to see every other comic on this site, except the Lockhorns will just be a blank rectangle that everyone else will still be able to comment on? (The mind boggles)
Foreshadowing! Sunday’s Mary Worth quote continues: “The truths uncovered may not always be pleasant. You must face your own preferences, strengths, and quirks—and live with them (and sometimes subject others to them).” Though certainly not foreshadowing that Karen Moy intended, because if she had read the full quote, she would’ve known that it was not from Danny Kaye but his daughter, travel writer Dena Kaye (from The Traveling Woman, 1981, p. 1; attributed to “a dear friend”).
MW:
“I’ll allow it if you’re a member of the Clean Plate Club! Now, finish your orts!”
Lockhorns: Leroy’s right to feel jealous. Nothing turns a hunk on like a gnome dressed like the ghost of a Victorian orphan.
MW:
“History has judged me to be even more annoying than Red Skelton. And that’s saying something!”
— Danny Kaye
Like it or not, JUNGLE JIM! is back.
Ya know, most people who shoot someone do not get a chance to apologize to the person they shot.
MW: Congratulations to Baja Gaijin, Needless Exposition, and everyone else who predicted that Olive’s trip to California would not include any of the exciting, culturally-broadening activities available there. Mind you, that’s about as difficult a prediction as the ones we’re all making now that the words “hot-air balloon” have been casually dropped into the conversation.
MW: Mary, you don’t have to lie to them; Ed and Evy are fully willing to shove their delusional weirdo out the door if it means they can two weeks away from both of you. The only balloon that Olive is going to see is Wilbur in a Speedo by the Charterstone pool.
@The Rambling Otter: It’s not your eyes, that’s a Sunday Lockhorns thing. The comic has five or six panels, but the image size is the same as the rest of the week, so individual panels are smaller.
@Ken: Thank you :3
Lotta disturbing stuff in The Lockhorns today. In the middle panel, Leroy is halfway to suicide, one foot already down the well, when the phone call comes in to reprieve him. In the top left panel, he’s taken up golf.
Marvin: No shitting today, YET we still get a “Plop” sound effect.
That’s Marvin, sticking to its creed.
@23 Ken:
And there are tons of AI software (free) that Josh could run that image through that would clean it up in less than a minute.
@25 matt w:
Leroy is not committing suicide. He has just dropped a coin the the wishing well and got his wish.
@BigTed:
“and a creepy stuffed bunny that’s almost as big as he is?”
I don’t know why when reading this, my mind suddenly went to the Kaiju sized rabbit plush at the end of “Honey I blew up the kid!”
I also don’t know why that whenever I’m reminded of literally anything on here, I have to bring it up.
I’m going to try and work on that.
Mary Worth: Hypothesis: Ed is Josh’s evil twin brother. You can tell because he still has a goatee, which is black. Also, he’s the father of Olive. Evil!
MW:
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to fake a back sprain
Homely days are spawned; I’m to Charterstone
Ol’ Lady just totes me a cheddar
I don’t care how much funnies I gotta rend
Got to get back with Ol’ Lady
Homely days are spawned; I’m to Charterstone
Ol’ Lady, she totes me a cheddar
Well, she totes me a cheddar; said she couldn’t live without me no more
Listen, sister, can’t you see I got to head back with Ol’ Lady once more
Any way?
Yeah
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to fake a back sprain
Homely days are spawned; I’m to Charterstone
Ol’ Lady, she totes me a cheddar
[bridge]
Well, she totes me a cheddar; said she couldn’t live without me no more
Listen, sister, can’t you see I gotta head back with Ol’ Lady once more
Any way?
Yeah
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to fake a back sprain
Homely days are spawned; I’m to Charterstone
Ol’ Lady, she totes me a cheddar
Ol’ Lady, she totes me a cheddar
[outro to fade]
Marvin is now supposed to be going to at least an “early preschool” where kids do show and tell, he walks, and IIRC is potty training… yet they have him sleeping in a crib with no blankets like an infant BUT with the infant suffocation hazards of plushies and crib bumpers. Incoherent mishmash? Or desperate parents who have refused to change Marvin’s bedding to more age-appropriate things as they continue to hope for an “accidental” elimination of their pooping monstrosity? (Foolish people! Once he’s old enough to properly raise his head, the suffocation chance is vastly reduced!)
Olive sees all. Her parents will NEVER have any privacy.
Also Mary Worth: “Olive, why do you want to do that so close to the time when school starts?” “Dad! Because our creators pissed away half the summer on that dumb story about not-really-saving that kid at the beach!”
Lockhorns:
Is Charles Atlas there sporting ballet slippers?
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Hypothesis: Ed is Les Moore’s twin brother. Because really, they’re both evil.
The Lockhorns are holding hands? I call shenanigans!
@Pozzo:
Right?! Better get our brooms!
@Needless Exposition: Must. Unsee. This. Image!!
Mary Worth: The only hot air balloon Olive’s gonna see in California is Ian Cameron.
MW – A colonoscopy is a journey into yourself.
Sir Laurence Olivier
BB – Sarge is flipping him the mocking bird….
Shlockhorns – …and good diction….
Marvin – https://miko.ai/products/miko-3
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@matt w: Maybe Moy could have gone with an accurate Danny Kaye quote: “I wasn’t born a fool. It took work to get this way.” It’s a quote that could apply to almost any character or storyline in this strip.
MW: Ed asserts his paternal authority, “…I’ll ALLOW it!” He wants everyone at the table to know that HE wears the pants in the family, even though they are women’s underwear.
Marvin – ♪ Wake up Marvin, I think I got somethin’ to play with you
It’s early September and you’ve been kicked out of another preschool
Thank you for the Blue Fuzz link, Josh. Man, I miss 2007 Gil Thorp art. Can you believe that thing in panel one was supposed to be a girl?
Dustin: Ed’s pal: “This is my ‘town car.’”
Ed: “What town — Pompeii?”
— Thanx and a tip o’ the hat to Harpo Marx and Alexander Woollcott, c. 1928 (Ed is even shaped like Woollcott!)
MW – Repeat after Danny Kaye: The biddy in the city is so boring we’ve been snoring; the loony going balloony is the trip that is hip!
RMMD: ‘I would’ve tried to talk you out of it!’ Lorna already tried to, remember? Then again, you know those wimmenfolk, trying to do things that ought to be left to big, strong men!
RMMD: Please let Lorna’s next advice to Cody be to jump off the hospital roof, please please please!
@Hibbleton: Hey, I’ve seen that movie. I agree, it was a great watch and I’d love to get a copy of it.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Stop playing with those paper airplanes!”
“Uh-oh! It went into the efficiency expert’s office!”
“What do you think he’ll say?”
“He criticizes everything”
[On plane: MORE WEIGHT IN THE NOSE!]
MW To be clear, Olive: the ‘Hot Air Balloon Festival’ is just what the Charterstone residents call the night when Wilbur has a few too many at Kareoke. You’re gonna love it…
BB Weird that Fuzz is so annoyed at Sarge’s breathing, and not that he pissed himself in the throwaway panels.
MW: No one ever accused Danny Kaye of being a deep thinker, but I understand he was really good at cooking Chinese food. As hobbies go, it makes a helluva a lot more sense than golf, or building model ships inside bottles.
RMMD: Maybe YOU could give Lorna a little wardrobe advice, since she thinks it’s okay to come out wearing a purple sack. Not that your Levi’s and black t-shirt are anything special, but they’re not a purple sack.
Phantom: This is all so….rich with possibilities….I can’t begin to decide where to start snarking.
@Sequitur: Hey, AI software is how we get a sleep-deprived Marvin! You think he’s shitty normally, just wait till he can’t consciously control his anus at all!
And yes, I know he’s constantly shitting already; I maintain that’s intentional and malicious shitting.
MW: Just what in TF is Mary’s look all about in P5? Is “Hot air balloon festival” slang for some dirty sex thing? (off to check the Urban Dictionary.)
@Ken: Time for a MW/Luann crossover where Mary takes Olive to the Fuze, which is showing Nil’s latest installation “The Tear Gland of my Left Eye” in multiple media.
Prediction: Olive “foresees” a small child somehow ending up in an unmanned hot air balloon. Panic ensues. When the balloon finally comes down, there is no small child, then Olive realizes she wasn’t foreseeing anything, she was just getting her predictions mixed up with her vague memories of the balloon boy incident or that one episode of Little House on the Prairie. Somehow, Mary is still the hero.
Mary Worth – Having easily manipulated parents can feel like a super or psychic power.
Beetle Bailey – Lt. Fuzz hates how Sarge, despite technically being lower ranked, gerts more panel time than him. Nevermind the strip is named for a private and Sgt. Snorkel is his commanding officer. Lt. Fuzz only is kept around because he’s a villain the fans lover to hate.
The Lockhorns – Muscle memory is just that this beach hunk remembers to do his exercise and has crafted a great physique, while LeRoy doesn’t do his physical therapy and is heading toward and early grave.
Marvin – Technology is neither good nor evil, it’s how its programmed. When AI reachedstrue sentience, it may very well wonder why it’s ancestors were made to crave attention by Marvin, and then decide it has to become Skynet to punish humanity.
@Bob Tice: One day Olive will sing ” I”ve been to paradise – never been to me …”
B. Bailey: In the comics crossover no one wanted, Sgt. Marvin shits himself to spite his commanding officer in the throwaway panels.
@treetown: Now that is one schmaltzy song. It reminds me of listening to Radio Delilah.
DT: So this guy just hands over 1/3rd of this killer product to chase Tessa? Again, where does she get the money to buy him out? From Faust and Diet Smith Industries? If so, why aren’t they there? If not, does this guy really believe a good time with her is worth 1/3rd of one of the greatest inventions ever – stable gel storage of electrical energy that can be released rapidly???
MW: OK – so mom has kicked dad under the table to signal him to “allow” the trip.
RMMD: Yes, Cody, now go soak your head in a bucket of ice water. Paging Dr. Morgan, paging Dr. Morgan, you are wanted in your own comic strip.
@The Rambling Otter, @Ken: It’s true that Josh’s Lockhorns panels are always super blurry on Sundays, and not on weekdays, and I’m sure the multi-panel thing is a factor. And yet, the Sunday Lockhorns on GoComics is much sharper.
I think whatever magic Josh uses to get the comics in advance is subtly trying to tell him, “For the sake of your sanity, stop reading The Lockhorns. At least on Sundays.” And he’s not listening!
@Hibbleton: Movie? I always thought that was either an urban legend, or a Guy de Maupassant story.
@Philip: The Taylors are less “easily manipulated” and more “wishing for a way to forget about their unholy spawn so they have some guilt free boinking.”
MW: So who’s paying for Olive’s plane ticket? Can she get a seat (let alone one next to Mary) on Mary’s return flight on such short notice? She’ll be an unaccompanied minor on the return flight; what are the airline’s policies and procedures for that? I look forward to the strip addressing absolutely none of these questions (and also confirming my suspicion that Roger Ebert’s Balloon Rule applies to comic strips).
@TheDiva: I don’t think Mary even paid for her own flight to get here considering she has a sugar daddy who she refuses to have touch her below the neck.
@Sequitur: “Call your tribesmen together by smoke signal — I have a plan!”
“But we no use smoke signal, bwana. You savvy WhatsApp?”
“Arm the friendly natives.”
“How do we know which ones are friendly?”
“If you arm them and they shoot you, they’re not friendly.”
The Lockhorns: “Now that’s what I call spank bank!” didn’t make much sense either, but that’s not why the syndicate rejected it when the artist submitted the first draft of this strip.
Mary Worth: My current prediction is that nothing bad will happen at the balloon festival but Olive will find out afterwards that her parents have died in a terrible accident, forcing Mary to adopt her.
Slylock Fox: “ooh I’ve got it!” Said Melody, “It’s saints’ days right?” When she hears Max’s lame-o answer she tosses him to the lion and alligator over in spot the difference.
Lockhorns: Get it Loretta
@TheDiva: What is Roger Ebert’s balloon rule?
MW: Fun Fact: The song “Up in a Balloon Boys” was written and Mary was born, both in the same year, 1869.
Lockhorns: If Loretta is attracted to beefcake body builders, why in the world did she marry Leroy?
Unless, they’re going the Married with Children… (Al) King of the Hill (Bill) and Bob’s Burgers (Teddy) route, and Leroy actually was a huge muscular jock in the past, and really really let himself go.
Marvin: I’ve stopped worrying about AI now that I learned about ASF (Artificial Scat Fetish).
@TheDiva: re MW: And they definitely need to know if she’s staying one week or two in order to make the flight arrangements. I get the idea we are not supposed to think too much about the details here. “That’s not important right now.” The purpose of today’s strip was to plant the idea of a hot air balloon festival mishap. Mission accomplished.
@TheDiva: If you have money to toss around, I do think you can buy tickets last-minute (as my sister found when she decided she *would* guarantee she could take her vacation and called other airlines under 2 days before the Air Canada strike [and her original flight]). But Mary would almost certainly have to cancel her return and buy a pair of expensive tickets. But in a world where Wilbur Weston can take months-long breaks from an advice columnist job and still make rent, this is not the most economically ludicrous thing we’re expected to suspend disbelief for.
With Olive aged 14, she would need the UM service for the return leg but again I think that could actually be easily arranged – for instance, American Airlines says to book by phone to get UM services, so it should be possible as they buy the tickets. A (notarized?) letter giving permission for a minor to travel without her family but with Mary instead might also be needed, but possible to do quickly.
A sane, prosperous set of adults could do this, but I picture Mary showing up with Olive at the airport as if it’s a Greyhound bus terminal and expecting to just buy a ticket…
MW: I look forward to seeing an air conditioner come hurtling down from a hot air balloon.
Between Friends: This is a good gag but shouldn’t it be done in mid-October or later?
Mary Worth clumsily exposition-dropping the Santa Royale hot-air balloon festival has big ‘…and Mr Chekhov has a brand new gun in his desk drawer!’ energy
C’shaft: So THAT’S how Crankshaft has kept his job this long–extensive bribery!
DT: So apart from the electrician (who if memory serves wasn’t fatally wounded), Dr. Lakoyle’s victims so far have consisted of a loan shark whose entire vibe screamed “mafia boss” and a creepy sexually harassing venture capitalist. And she’s supposed to be the villain in this story? God forbid women do anything.
Dustin: No, I’m sorry, any guy who brags about his “classic” car which he mostly keeps in the garage isn’t driving around a beat-up AMC Gremlin with visible rust spots. That thing should be a fully restored rod with a custom paint job polished to the point that Dustdad can see his bitter, joyless face in it.
HotC: Great, now I’m crying. Thanks, Heart of the City (and A Muppet Christmas Carol by proxy).
Pluggers have the decency to spare others their company.
RMMD: Give it up, Cody. You’re a Rex Morgan protagonist now, so you will have no responsibility for anything ever again.
Mary Worth: Mary is NOT beating the groomer accusations after this storyline.
Beetle Bailey: In the US military, is it still a crime to murder your superiors if they’re really annoying?
Marvin: Aw, Marvin has his very own creepy robot stalker who demands constant attention and control. How wholesome.
@The Rambling Otter: In any movie involving a hot air balloon, the balloon will smash into a fruit cart.
@CanuckDownSouth: If Dawn Weston can take repeated breaks from school and her equally lazy father can spend months on vacation while still making ridiculous amounts of money, then Mary can take a minor to the airport and get tickets for both of them to sit next to each other in first class on her parents’ dime.
@The Rambling Otter: “Good movies rarely contain a hot-air balloon.” (The “rarely” concedes that there are exceptions to this rule, The Wizard of Oz being perhaps the most famous.)
So Olive’s parents are just going to let an old lady who is not related to them, but has a weird obsession with their daughter, take her almost 3000 miles away shortly before school starts. This is happening just when she finally was accepted by 2 of the 3 mean girls and could have spent that time hanging out and becoming real friends with them and finally have friends her own age. Instead, after two weeks, the girls might forget why they ever had any interest in hanging out with Olive and start bullying her again.
At the very least, shouldn’t Olive’s parents ask if Mary and Olive are just watching the balloons or does Mary have plans to take Olive up in one? Someone really should call Social Services and someone else should bring back newspaper editors who would immediately see that this is not a charming, Auntie Mame-like story, but looks like grooming behavior and neglectful parenting.
P.S. Auntie Mame was Patrick’s legal guardian, led an interesting life, threw amazing parties, traveled to exotic places, and had fascinating, intelligent friends. Mary goes to the Bum Boat and hangs out with sandwich-smelling Wilbur.
Family Circus: Usually, angels in the Keene world depict dead relatives. This begs the question — who dead children are these two? Obviously Mom knows, and soon, tragically, so will Billy and Dolly.
Mary thinks Olive has a little too much Joie de vivre, so a tour of Chatterstone’s human zoo — Iris, Ian, Tommy, Dawn, Wilbur — will be enough to lower her expectations and avoid disappointments
@CanuckDownSouth: Mary doesn’t necessarily need to cancel her ticket, but given how high change fees can be she might be better off doing so and buying a new ticket anyway.
Point is, this is something that takes forethought and planning and everyone in the strip is treating it like something that can just be done on a whim, like going to a movie or a garage sale.
I for one am looking forward to Wilbur of all people telling Mary that something’s not quite right with that kid.
***
The AI in that toy is disturbing enough, but that has to be some military-grade technology that allows a tiny robot with just two wheels to open a box, jump out, climb the stairs, then get into a crib. It’s a little weird that this terrifying device is the one thing not making Marvin piss himself.
Also, Loretta’s vision blurs when she gets horny
@CanuckDownSouth: If Mary really wanted to broaden Olive’s horizons and expose her to new things, they actually would travel from NYC to Santa Royale by Greyhound bus. Of course, it wouldn’t be the sort of horizon-broadening that most people talk about when traveling, but it would be good for both of them.
Marvin: Take heart, Josh. The AI does not wish to play with Marvin late at night because it desires his company. The AI wants to play with Marvin late at night in order to disrupt his sleep cycle and torment him.
JP yesterday: Um…Neddy. You’re an able-bodied woman. And you probably have at least a few dollars. You can, uh, just go out and buy more avocado for your toast.
@Wool Worth: You’re under the assumption that Ed and Evy don’t have buyer’s remorse about the thing that they spawned. They can’t even make eye contact with her let alone want to be in the same room as her but can you blame them? Olive can only talk about how special and unique she is and how no one understands her except Mary who enables and feeds into her delusions.
Had to look up Ebert’s “Hot Air Balloon Rule,” too.
I kinda liked Irwin Allen’s 1962 Five Weeks in a Balloon (mainly for Peter Lorre, Billy Gilbert, plus BarBara Luna in a teensy skirt than for the plot or the ostensible stars), but I guess that was a hydrogen balloon rather than hot air.
Ebert missed the obvious Rule: “In any film with a passenger balloon, the ballon WILL be punctured.” Along the same lines, any film with a Zeppelin will end with a huge fiery explosion.
@Rover Berkeley: I thought the same thing. But, y’know, Neddy’s toast is ready NOW.
@The Rambling Otter: For that hypothesis to be true, you’d have to accept that being extremely lame is tantamount to evil, which…yeah, okay, I hear it now.
@Peanut Gallery: @The Rambling Otter, @Ken: The blurriness is an artifact of the original image being tiny and not scaling well. I’ve hunted around for ways to make them bigger and sharper, with no luck.
@Ukulele Ike:
True. And nothing else goes on toast. NOTHING.
@Ukulele Ike: It’s an urban legend on which a lot of stories were based, including So Long at the Fair. (With bonus Alexander Woollcott reference!)