Gertie is going to have the first ever divorce trial broadcast on Fox Sports 1
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Mary Worth, 12/4/25
“Good lord, Josh,” you’re almost certainly saying, “it’s been days since the first unpleasant Ian-Sunny encounter and you haven’t kept us updated, what is going on?????” Well, Ian has beaten a tactical retreat to the shower, where he is fuming, fuming at his humiliation. This oddball is going to grandstand like never before! The stakes could not be higher!
Gearhead Gertie, 12/4/25
Gertie marital dysfunction watch: Gertie’s husband, learning about a new venue for NASCAR racing, has preemptively compromised on their next vacation, hoping to combine some of the racing action his wife loves with a relaxing beach day of the sort that you’d think would appeal to just about anybody. “No,” says Gertie. “Fuck you. That’s not how this works. You know that’s not how this works.”
Daddy Daze, 12/4/25
I can never really figure out to what extent the conversations between the Daddy Daze baby and the Daddy Daze daddy are supposed to be “real,” and I guess that question can be extended to basically anything you see happening in the strip. Still, I feel like “your pre-verbal, non-walking baby is roaming the house in the middle of the night” is a scenario where you get out of bed and put them back in their crib, rather than just going back to sleep? I dunno, I’m not a parent, maybe the conventional wisdom has changed on this.
Pluggers, 12/4/25
You’re a plugger if you get invited to the sort of social events whose cancellation you’re notified about via a formal notice delivered by the U.S. Postal Service.
39 replies to “Gertie is going to have the first ever divorce trial broadcast on Fox Sports 1”
Gertie seems like the kind of person who goes to the Daytona 500 every year, but never noticed that Daytona also has a beach.
Mary Worth:
Thus Spake Zarathustra. Not.
Pluggers: “I wasn’t looking forward to that barbecue, anyway.”
“Ba ba ba!” can ALSO mean, I’m drowning in the toilet, I gather. The funeral will be sparsely attended.
Pluggers:
Well, you’re certainly a plugger if you read your mail while standing by your mailbox, as opposed to, say, walking a few feet into the comfort of your own home where you can sit down; it’s easier to read; there’s a letter opener; etc.
MW: “I don’t care how soft-hearted my wife is, Wilbur better get his mashed potatoes out of my shower!”
Daddy Daze-“Smother Angus with this pillow.”
MW-You have to, Ian. Toby specifically included “living with a flying, screaming, menace” in the wedding vows.
FC-They should be digging through a box that says jokes.
Mary Worth:
That has to be the world’s largest non-communal shower. I sure wouldn’t want to have Ian’s and Toby’s water bill.
Today’s Gertie inspires thought: will ANY “cars racing” do, in a pinch? Is Gertie standing outside the local go-kart place before it opens? Is she at the model shop where guys play those stupid track cars? “C’mon guys! Play ONE more time.”
Mary Worth:
It probably would be more efficient if Toby just hosed Ian down — you know, like zookeepers do with elephants at the zoo.
Looking at today’s Mary Worth, I can only once again wonder, what DOES God need with a starship?
Daddy Daze:
What with the profusion of traditional holiday musical fare these days, the kid is channeling Der Bingle‘s “Ba ba ba.”
MW: Today, the role of Ian will be played by Zeus.
You’re a plugger if you delight in the disappointment of friends because it will prevent the exposure of your social awkwardness? Chicken, meet egg.
Pluggers: …Whose cancellation is more and more often at our age caused by the death of one of the organizers which, uh, delights us?
TIRED: Wilbur is bad at raising a pet
WIRED: Ian emerges menacingly from the mist to visit his wrath upon a pet
Pluggers are clinically depressed.
MW The only thing that calms Ian down in stressful situations like this is a standing bath in fluffernutter.
GG It’s funny because that’s not a newspaper, that’s just a note Gertie wrote in Sharpie across some old poster board and passed to her husband. I think her NASCAR obsession is making her forget how to talk.
You’re a Plugger if ‘social event’ means ‘jury duty’
Beetle Bailey : is stuck in an endless timeloop. He’s back to the part when he first enlisted, with Sarge being the one to remember the previous loop, and thus having constant déjà vu.
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Heathcliff : That’s not a musk ox, that’s Brundo, the Decemberween Yak! Jimmy is off to reclaim the Sword of St. Olaf!
…I don’t think this strip would INTENTIONALLY make this Homestar Runner reference…**********
Luann : Hey, Bernice, remember how Bets managed to get rid of Alan super-easily? Why don’t you just do THAT?
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Mary Worth : without context, there’s no indication that Ian is complaining about a parrot. He could be complaining about Toby all the way through. (“Soft-hearted” might seem odd to describe someone he also calls “wild” and “screaming”, but it could be that he knows that if he tries to yell back, she’ll just start crying he’s the bad guy).
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Ripley’s Don’t Believe It :
a) …Horses can forget how to sweat, and need to get drunk to remember how?
b) …What, do people think they’re made out of STYROFOAM? They’re not THAT bad!
Heh, I remember that I used to joke about how their old slogan “bet you can’t eat just one” actually meant you can’t bear to eat a single one (even though I don’t think they’re THAT bad)c) …Are we sure the horse did that on its own? Maybe it was goaded into trying that by a jockey, or something?
MW: Ian is already confident of his omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence, so God Takes a Shower works here.
RMMD: Augie vows to himself that if he writes another book, all of the characters will be inanimate objects.
GG: What I know about NASCAR: little cars drive repeatedly around a big oval. What I want to know about NASCAR: not even that. Bite me, Gertie.
@Dan: I keep wondering if Ian is trying to recreate one of Mary’s famous ‘faces in the clouds’. Is that how you contact her telepathically?
Pluggers: A Plugger “social event” is a court hearing. Luckily one of the witnesses “decided” to withdraw their testimony.
Chix (sic): The presence of ears and stink lines mean this woman is wearing a whole, flayed sheep’s hide which, if I’m interpreting this correctly, she killed and skinned herself. Girl power?
@Bob Tice: MW: Thus spake Blovius Pompousitus, as he lathers up with whipped cream.
@Pozzo: Pluggers don’t like people.
Ian, I know where you can get a new parrot cage and a “cleaner” who will happily get rid of the body if you supply the mayo.
MW- I think there was a typo today. Ian meant to say “soft headed”.
Pluggers: Neal is delighted that his friend cancelled their upcoming 2026 beach trip.
MW: Ian is going to write such a nasty letter to the editor.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Wait, what?
GG – I haven’t seen a headline that big since V-E Day. Scratch that. I’ve never seen a headline that took up the whole page.
Lesson learned from Gil Thorp today: Bo Jackson loves wine. And sausage fests!
Introverts are pluggers, apparently. Frankly, I’d much prefer Josh’s proposed caption.
Mary Worth: A chthonic titan emerges through the clouds to confront the light from God above. It won’t work out for him either.
Mary Worth: Panel two: God regrets his decision to create wingèd angels. Panel three: the angels, recognizing their convergent evolution with the macaws, wreak their terrible revenge.
@matt w: Ha! We must have been typing at the same time.
Dustin: continues the excellent trip down memory lane – pretty captured the resolution phase – and some of the other details. Again kudos to the artist for rendering the box, map and cards accurately.
GT: Does his squeeze think Gil still has hots for his ex-wife?
MW: Will Ian don his power robe to confront Sunny?
C-Shaft: But Mindy but what if the Pizza Box Monster is actually your brother and Ed’s grandson, Max? The epithet “Gramps” would still fit. Not that the odds are PBM is Mitch, but at this point who cares?
GG: Yes, when she travels around America to watch NASCAR crashes…er, races, Gertie has no time to waste with ANY local attractions that aren’t automotive-related. Not Nashville’ famed Grand Ole Opry, the World of Coca-Cola Museum in Atlanta, the Las Vegas Strip, the border-spanning State Street in Bristol, TN-VA, or even the Johnson Victrola Museum in Dover, DE.
MW: Unused Panel Three: From behind him in the shower, Ian suddenly hears a voice cackle,”Squawk! Pass the Old Spice body wash, Chubby! Squawk!”
6C: “And this is exactly what it SMELLED like, too! I hollowed the sheep’s carcass out like Han Solo did with the Tauntaun’s in ‘The Empire Strikes Back!’ So warm!”
Gearhead Gertie: “Or we could visit the Mission?” “Hmm, it’s true that Monk Tate’s sole win was with a Late Model Sportsman at the Orange County Speedway in 1973, but that was in North Carolina, and I don’t remember him running over any parishioners kneeling at worship. Let’s put a pin in that one.”
@J.J. O’Malley: Re: Mary Worth — Or Sunny emerges from the steam helping Ian lather up, along with Marty Feldman and Mel Brooks.