2026 TRIUMPHANT RETURN COMICS: MAN/WOMAN AND CAT/BIRD LOVE
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Mary Worth, 12/25/25
Why hello, faithful readers! Did you have an enjoyable holiday? Did you spend Christmas Day with your “friends,” or exactly one friend, your ostensible “boyfriend,” and the two of you took the time to contemplate the glory and majesty of your Christmas tree while simultaneously side-hugging each other?
Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/26/25
Or did you spend it like Rex, eagerly awaiting the moment (12:01 a.m., December 26th) when you could definitively put all the decorative holiday crap directly into the trash and get things back to normal?
Dick Tracy, 12/27/25
Anyway, lots of fun stuff happened in the comics over the past week and a half! Like, remember Ghost Cat, the cat with the powers of a ghost, or possibly the ghost with the powers of a cat? Well, he can shoot a flashlight beam out of his chest, which is definitely not a cat ability but I’m also pretty sure not a ghost ability, so I guess it’s a secret third thing.
Gil Thorp, 12/27/25
In other news, Gil Thorp got engaged! Congrats to Gil on going from “extremely divorced” to “engaged to his significantly younger rebound girlfriend,” which, between you and me, is just another more specific kind of extremely divorced.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/29/25
Oh, also, Rex Morgan is going blind or whatever. This is what happens when you take down the Christmas decorations too early! Santa takes away your eyesight! They don’t have any little Christmas carols about that one specifically, but it’s true, that’s one of his powers, he will make you blind, so you better watch out.
Mark Trail, 12/30/25
Mark Trail is wearing a union suit dealing with some Texas flooding (ripped from the headlines of six months ago) while accompanying an expedition of ladies hunting feral hogs (ripped from a 2019 viral tweet). This gives one of the ladies the opportunity to say “Oh no! All our hogs washed away!” which I think is funny! I just think it’s a fun thing to say!
Gil Thorp, 1/2/26
“I have several, father … any plans to have more children?” is also a fun one! I guess my only problem with it is that it really is just one more question, though maybe Jami is waiting for the hubbub he’s unleashed to die down before moving on to the next subject.
Mary Worth, 12/30/25 and 1/4/26
Meanwhile, over in the wildly dysfunctional Cameron household, Ian decided to deploy a neighbor’s cat … for evil! But unlike Mary, who managed to use a cat to successfully keep Jeff out of her apartment for weeks, Ian was foiled in his evil plotting, discovering that both these creatures have been infected by the woke mind virus of domestication and have decided to become best friends rather than trying to kill one another. Look forward to more of this action in the coming days, unless Ian dies abruptly of a rage-stroke!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/26
In other medical news, Rex has cataracts, it turns out, and he has to go under someone else’s knife in order to be rid of them. He’s just going to have to let go and trust his surgeon — but should he, really? Are ophthalmologists even real doctors? Should he do it himself, maybe? Could he pull it off, because of what a great doctor he is?
You’ll find out the answers to all these questions and more in 2026! It’s a new year but the same Comics Curmudgeon, which is to say the world’s great internet blog, bringing you comics jokes every day. Thank you as ever for your readership, which you are required by law and prevailing honor codes to maintain. Happy New Year, everybody!
163 replies to “2026 TRIUMPHANT RETURN COMICS: MAN/WOMAN AND CAT/BIRD LOVE”
Welcome back, Josh.
Gil Thorp, 12/27/25:
“Bethany, will you marry me?”
“Well, let me see what I can do about this conjunctivitis that you see in the second panel first.”
RMMD:
“June, you know that sack that Keith Hillend was carrying around at the beginning of his Mary Worth story arc whose contents so much of the readership was inquiring about?”
“Yeah — what about it?”
“Well, this is it!”
“Okay, so what’s in it?”
“I have no idea!”
“Ian was foiled in his evil plotting, discovering that both these creatures have been infected by the woke mind virus of domestication and have decided to become best friends rather than trying to kill one another. Look forward to more of this action in the coming days, unless Ian dies abruptly of a rage-stroke!”
This is the beginning of Mary Worth’s remix of Pluribus. The Joining has begun, and soon Ian will be one of a handful of individuals left in the world. Sadly, once the hive mind assimilates Toby, it will die of stupidity.
Josh, you must feel like MacArthur returning to the Philippines.
Mary Worth, 12/25/25:
I guess all those hangers-on that normally congregate around Mary’s table at the holiday are going to have to fend for themselves this year.
Please don’t rouse my hopes only for Moy to dash them.
For a moment I was afraid that I was finding Rex Morgan relatable, but no! I just needed glasses! (googles “cataract symptoms”)
RMMD: In the last panel, increasingly blind Rex sticks his hand out to feel June’s face.
“Yep. It’s you.”
RMMD June is desperately hoping Rex doesn’t find out about Leonid Rogozov before he gets this taken care of properly!
MW: Ian keeps bringing in more and more of the neighbors’ pets to kill the previous ones to no avail. Sunny comes home to find Sunny sitting on the shoulder of a capuchin monkey riding a St. Bernard.
RMMD: I pity the surgeon who has to operate on Rex Micromanager, M.D. without him being totally under.
MW: When will it dawn on Ian that his first call should have been to The Closer himself, that scourge of domestic pets, Wilbur Weston? Sunny could’ve been out the window a week ago.
Mary Worth is vaguely giving me vibes of that movie “Zeus and Roxanne” where a dog
befriendsfalls in love with a dolphin.Didn’t Rex already get cataract surgery some time ago?
Or are all of these comic arcs starting to blend together at this point?
MW. If one wants to know how Mary is able to so easily rule over Charterstone, just note that the best educated resident there learned problem solving from old Sylvester and Tweety cartoons.
Thanks for a great year, and looking forward to another.
RMMD: Yes, opthamologists are, indeed, also MDs. An optometrist is NOT an MD, but an opthamologist IS.
DT: “Halp”??? Is Ghost Cat’s other power that he can make people talk like ‘I can haz cheezburger’ lolcats? Is he the ‘ghost’ of a Millennial killed circa 2007, no doubt distracted driving his VW New Beetle while watching Homestar Runner on his Zune?
Sunday brings us JUNGLE JIM!
Did you know Jungle Jim helped wipe out Cho Fang?
I sure didn’t. And do I care? No.
Rex decides to get a second option. He makes an appointment with a Chinese ophthalmologist. After he sits in the chair the doctor comes in and asks Rex, in broken English, “how may I help you?” Rex replies “I have a cataract “. The doctor says “ I drive a Rincoln”.
Welcome back, Josh! For me, the best part about the Dec. 25 Mary Worth was that it was sandwiched between two scenes of Mary and Toby walking in the park. Did Mary run home to side-hug Jeff, leaving Toby standing in the park all Christmas day? Or did Moy and Brigman fail to plan ahead? My money’s on the latter, especially considering a week later they gave us “Happy New Year” during Ian’s plan to murder Sunny.
Family Circus: Hans Christian Anderson did this better.
It’s probably not a good sign for the start of your marriage when the proposal’s dialogue balloon has been re-lettered to have your name in it.
MW — Has Moi moved to an ashram in Udaipur? First a Modi quote and now this! I suppose that Ian will soon discover that it’s parrots all the way down and that life is suffering in the Condo of Samsara
RMMD — I love how June casually reminds Rex that he can’t operate on himself because she knows he’s been considering it. . . .
Welcome back, Josh.
Dustin: Ed, your advice sucks. The first thing that woman should do is make sure there’s enough juice in the battery to turn on the lights, then determine the starter motor can crank the engine.
I could only hope for Luann to take an ironic stab at a Judge Parker/Mary Worthy story line.
BG&SS: If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that any place too poor, empty, and isolated to have a Dollar General has one store in town, and everything is dirt cheap.
Beetle Bailey: Isn’t this more of a Plato response?
H&L:
Hi: “Why is it 24 in here?”
Lois: “We took a vote.”
Hi: “Goddamn Communist school teaching our kids Celsius!”
Luann: Luann’s parent were afraid she discovered their Astroglide and wanted to ask questions about its use.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: I too have had cataracts, and had them surgically removed. It began just as it did for Rex, with a long(?) period of blurred vision that couldn’t be explained by needing an updated prescription for my glasses. I hate that I find Rex Morgan, M.D. relatable, is what I’m saying, but not Rex Morgan, M.D., God no, never.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
*During a routine exam, optometrists can spot the development of a cataract long before it has to be removed, and will be more than happy to tell you about it.
**As I discovered, when someone as young as Rex develops a cataract, there’s typically some kind of eye injury preceding it. So which of his kids poked him in the eye, and why the squat, ugly one?
***Ophthalmologists are real doctors. Doctors of Optimism are not.
RMMD: Hold on! Is it established that Rex is a surgeon? I guess I’ve maybe occasionally seen him in scrubs doing an operation, but mostly he seems to do general practitioner work. We’re always seeing him scowling as some doofus in a bowling shirt and a pompadour says he gets a little tweak when he bends his elbow like this.
Luann: The parents were afraid that Luann had stumbled upon their cocaine stash. It turns out she did but since it was unlabeled Luann assumed it was toenail fungus treatment, wrote that on the container, and used it for her toenails.
Now, Luann has happy feet!
@TheRealAaron: To which, Rex replies, . . .
He’s always a hit on open-mic night with that one.
MW: “You were supposed to chase the parrot right out that open window”? Ian, are you lying to a cat or to yourself? If you wanted Sunny to go out the window, you could have chased him out yourself. You clearly brought in the cat to eat the bird and just opened the window so you could lie to Toby later. At least be honest with yourself in your villain monologues, man.
Ghost Cat: (after he gets him out of the sewer) there Ozob, you’re safe now.
Dick Tracy immediately shows up *BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG*
DT – It’s a trap, Cat-Man! That’s not really Ozob down there. I’ve seen enough of Mike Curtis’s writing to know that anyone who says “o-over here” like that must be Scooby-Doo.
Don Abundio, translated:
“The food was excellent and the decor is certainly unique”
“Thank you”
“But may I ask one favor?”
“Of course!”
“Please put your hats and coats on before Medusa arrives for the floor show”
Luann: A couple of weeks ago Bernice talks about her and Luann exfoliating their feet and today another foot centered strip. What’s going on here?
MW: Look at the cat on December 30! He did NOT sign up for the Camerons’ marital mind games! That’s Sunny’s job or maybe Mary Worth’s job!
“That’s a new development”. On “Rex Morgan MD”? I doubt it
@half-pint: I bought a scalpel the day I joined the Optimist Club. All for naught, it seems. Maybe my expectations were too high.
RMMD: Is there any reason why Buck is Rex’s eye doctor?
Welcome back Josh! ^w^
Bethany’s tears are genuinely terrifying.
MW: Ian should never have gone after the bird. He should have brought in a pet to destroy Toby’s stuff, like her pet has been destroying his stuff. For example, he could have adopted a bull — they famously hate ceramics.
MW: Two months later, Dr. Ed admits a very pregnant Vixen to ANIMAL HOSPITAL, and is flabbergasted when he delivers the world’s first cat-parrot hybrid.
@Charterstoned: Forgot to add, he quickly euthanizes the catrot, in keeping with ANIMAL HOSPITAL protocols.
“Mark was right all along” TFW you don’t trust the three other Gospels
If I were Mark, I wouldn’t trust the surgeon. He, more than anyone else, should know about the professionalism and dedication of medical professionals in his town!
@Ettorre: Rex, whatever
MW: Ian should have read the side effects of the cat’s medication. “Dry mouth, acute constipation, and submissiveness to talking birds.”
GT – What Jami originally said was “So you’re going to be fucking her, right?” but, you know — censors.
Welcome back, Josh!
RMMD: With impaired vision, I must cancel all my surgery appointments. However, you’ll pry my car keys out of my cold dead hands. Rex Morgan hero of Pluggers everywhere.
@Schroduck @18: @Sequitur @19: I’m just amused that these two posts are next to each other, and how fundamentally similar they are. It’s 2007 again! It’s 1935 again!
MW: Ian could have introduced Sunny to brown liquor. Worst case is that he would have turned him into a drinking buddy. ” Rawk! I’ll have a wee drama noo. “
Mary Worth: Oh, sure, Ian. You wanted Sunny to “fly out the window,” not “get torn apart” in the most transparent “accident” any villain’s ever imagined. I guess all your research (watching “Tweetie and Sylvester” cartoons) went to waste!
@Peanut Gallery:
¿Por qué hay un trozo enorme de queso suizo sobre la mesa con un cuchillo clavado? ¿Qué clase de sitio tan extraño es este?
MW – We missed the real show just before Christmas – Mary handling Jeff’s balls….
RMMD – I can remember when Rex cared about things like affordable healthcare, but the times, they are a changin’….
MT – I miss you the old days of plots advanced by talking cabins and folk wisdom dispersed by Doc, high on his special maple syrup….
GT – I am think Van Halen said it best – Ut-Ut Oh – Jami’s cryin’ wha-whah….
MW – This is a dark side if Pompous Chinbeardicus, that we haven’t seen before….
RMMD – Hey Rex – the whole talk to the hand bit is so last millennium….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Welcome back, Josh!
@57 Dennis Jimenez: on Mary Worth: Of course, Mary’s handling Jeff’s balls…ornaments on the Christmas tree.
MW: In Ian’s defense, I think the bird is some kind of demon spawn or something. I mean, how would it have learned to say “good kitty”, know that it applies to a cat, and when to say it to please the cat? That thing is no parrot.
Luann: Crisis averted! They don’t have to have some kind of “talk” with Luann.
CS: “But why would a bird want to leave the tip of its beak in a jar, dad?”
9CL: Let’s see … someone is throwing a bouquet … four women stand ready for their odd pinups … the answer to Alistair’s question is “zero.”
Welcome back, Josh! That stain on the carpet was there when you left, honestly.
MW: Apparently riding the cat like it’s a small horse is FROWNED UPON in this establishment!
RMMD: I love how they feel the need to remind us that Rex is a doctor/surgeon every other panel. Because God knows nothing he ever does gives you that impression…
S4th: Sorry Ted, but according to the story I happened to read two days ago, the only ones to access the lunar colonies are several AI-powered rocketships (from countries from the USA to China and Europe) who thanks to their programming decided that humans were just too disorderly and unpredictable to be allowed access to them, and thus took off with no one aboard, incinerating the throngs gathered on the launchpad trying to gain said access, and leaving the rest of humanity to be swallowed up by the oceans which were rising after all the droughts, megafires and floods that all happened ‘right on schedule as the climate scientists had said they would’. Happy New Year!
JP: [Sees two nubile young women embracing] ‘In my version things went a lot further…’ – Crow T. Robot
@Noel: I dunno, none of the humans in Mary Worth behave like normal examples of their species, so why should the other animals?
FC: Thanks, Family Circus! I was worried I was a little too happy after the holidays. Now I can be sad for at least six hours.
MW: Tomorrow, they’re performing (purrforming?) duets at karaoke.
Dustin: Ed Kudlick doesn’t give one single fuck about your personal problems, lady, especially when he’s got the opportunity to mansplain.
I like to think Sunny and Vixen’s immediate bond is based on mutual antipathy for Ian, and the fact that Vixen has apparently just met Ian makes this interpretation even funnier and no less plausible.
@half-pint: Absolutely false. An opthamologist is not a doctor. An ophthalmologist, on the other hand, is.
Dustin: Well first off, you shouldn’t be seeking marital advice by calling into a radio program hosted by a woman who remains married to Ed Kudlick.
Phantom: “I mean, I could have sworn it was 2025 when we started this conversation! How long did that flight last?”
Mary Worth: Not to question Ian’s incredible intelligence and scheming, but does he know that he could just, like, grab Sunny and throw the little shit out the window himself instead of trying to recreate his Looney Tunes fanfic with real animals?
Rex Morgan: Oh my God, Rex Morgan is doing a story about medical issues and doctors instead of middle aged and old people obsessed with shitty country music? And the titular character of the comic is the focus instead of just some vague background extra? It’s probably a bad sign that I legitimately can’t remember the last time either of those happened.
Dick Tracy: Dick stares baffled as Ghost Cat rescues a criminal instead of standing by as he suffers a horrific demise. He cannot compute the idea of law enforcement that tries to save lives rather than merely butcher the guilty is contrived and over-the-top ways. “Interrogative: is this what the civilians call… mercy?” he says to himself.
Mark Trail: If you’re gonna base an entire story around building up to a pun, the least you can do is make a pun that doesn’t suck ass.
RM: Why, yes, Jami, we in fact are planning another child, and regardless of gender, and in your honor, we are thinking of naming it “Toasti”.
Happy New Year, Josh! Wishing you and all the curmudgeons out there a happy and healthy 2026!
MW: Years ago, there was an injured bird in my yard. We tried to keep the dog away from it, but you turn your back for an instant, and the bird has violently shuffled off this mortal coil, courtesy of the dog. This story arc, as well as the Crankshaft Christmas miracle two weeks back are all well and good…BUT IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY IN REALITY.
Garfield: Sorry the view outside isn’t as exciting as it was 40-something years ago. Back then, Garfield watched out the window as a fender bender devolved into shouting, and finally a punch that knocked one driver off his feet.
@Violet: In Europe, cheese is often served at the end of a big fancy meal. The custom was probably also common in the US in the 19th century. Medusa’s Restaurant, having been in continuous operation since ancient Greek times, tends to hold on to traditions long after the fashion has passed.
Unfortunately the Admiral, being unaware of such niceties, has mistaken this fine wedge of Swiss for a pen-holder, and deposited his fountain pen in it after signing the check.
Medusa’s usually puts the statues of patrons in storage until their everyday habiliments have become sufficiently quaint to be an asset to the decor. But these two weirdos will go on display immediately. Napoleon and Monopoly Guy!
RMMD:
June: You CAN’T operate on yourself!
Rex: Hey, why do you think my appendix scar is a little ragged-looking? I took it out myself, just for practice. Suturing in a mirror is tricky!
MW: What can I say, folks? Have we ever seen such camaradie between natural adversaries? Not since Libby and Pierre bonded against Wilbur has there been such a pairing based on mutual respect and, I dare say, affection. We have to salute these two talented actors for immersing themselves fully in their roles! BTW, Vixen is not really on meds – this is ACTING at its finest!
Perhaps this scenario can serve as a message of peace and harmony for our troubled times. “The Lion shall lie down with the Lamb, and the Parrot will cuddle with the Pussycat.” … ‘scuse me, I have something in my eye …
Oh, and welcome back, Josh!
Welcome back, Josh!
I hope you had a great break while we witnessed Ian’s descent into madness. This madness wasn’t driven by rage over Toby’s emotional affair with a bird, but rather by that bird demonstrating that it is smarter than Ian by openly calling him out (“POMPOUS AXX!”). This foiled his immature plans, forcing Ian to confront the reality that his self-proclaimed intellectual superiority is as genuine as his now shattered academic “award.”
Phantom: Major Dugong: “Say, boy, surely there must be a white man I can talk to? SOMEBODY must be in charge around here.”
President Lumbago: “Damn, he IS from 1945 America.”
Bangallan Mechanic: “Or maybe he’s Stephen Miller with a wig and glue-on chin.”
@TheRealAaron:
In July 2023 he operated on a neighbor Travis who sustained an EYE INJURY due to fooling around with fireworks. Usually no surgeon operates on the eyes without being an ophthalmologist. So was Rex practicing outside of his usual scope as his experience and training allows?
@69 ectojazzmage: on Rex Morgan: You’re a plugger if you can’t remember the last time Rex Morgan did a story about medical issues and doctors instead of middle aged and old people obsessed with shitty country music and the titular character of the comic is the focus instead of just some vague background extra. NOT!
@ectojazzmage: Can confirm from experience that grabbing and holding on to a bird, unless said bird is very sick or injured, is not as easy as it looks. You have to be able to corner it somewhere where it can’t fly away easily, and then be ready to endure some pain until you get the bird where you want it because those beaks bite HARD. (I’ve only done this with small birds like budgies; I imagine something the size of Sunny can take a good chunk of flesh off you.) Ian’s best bet would be to attempt to chase Sunny out the window by closing off other escape routes, but it’s clear Sunny’s at least three steps ahead of him so I wouldn’t place any money on succeeding there.
@78 treetown: Yes. Yes Rex was practicing outside his usual scope of practice. Notice how we never saw any follow ups to this surgery? Apparently issuing an eyepatch and showing physical therapy including how to say “Arrrrrr, matey!” and wear a parrot on his shoulder isn’t panel-worthy.
@80 TheDiva: Somehow, with all the closed doors, the single huge open window, and Ian in chase with a tennis racket, the scene ends with Sunny perched on the windowsill yelling “HA HA HA! POMPOUS AXX!” at Ian as he tumbles to serious injury on Charterstone’s well-manicured lawn.
I don’t think I’ll ever see a greater comic panel this year than Rex Morgan covering one of his eyes, visibly angry at his body and the passage of time.
Three comics later…
“YOU’RE BOTH ABERRATIONS OF NATURE!”
I stand corrected.
***
Ian’s descent into madness is a glory to behold, but I refuse to believe there was no murderous intent there. “Chase it out the window” my ass. He wanted Sunny left in the same condition as his Playbill.
***
If we can accept batarangs and the Batmobile, I think we can accept a ghostcatlight.
Mary Worth: Too bad, Ian — Sunny has hypnotized this kitty, the way he previously hypnotized your wife into becoming his submissive thrall. If he can get to Mary next, he’ll soon have the condo complex, the city, and eventually the entire world at his zygodactyl feet!
Gil Thorp: “I already told Gil, no kids! Including the ones he already has. Enjoy boarding school, suckas!”
Rex Morgan: “Sure, I should have seen an ophthalmologist from the start — but I don’t trust doctors, for obvious reasons. Also, I don’t have health insurance, because then I’d probably have to obtain some for my staff as well. And that stuff costs money! Which is why I go to the eye clinic at Costco — I get a cheap exam, and then I can pick up a rotisserie chicken and a 50-pack of toilet paper on my way out.”
GT – Wait, isn’t that the non-binary character saying “I would love a baby sister”? The hypothetical kid hasn’t even been conceived yet and you’re already subjecting them to the gender binary!?
Welcome back – another 1000 comment break!
DT: Now that the holiday rush is over, time to kick back and ask some one else to take on the burden of keeping DT interesting. Why not have him go to a bar where old characters from his past come up to haunt him. Wait a second, they already did this in the Night Gallery episode, “They’re tearing down Tim Riley’s Bar” with William Windom and aired on Jan. 20, 1971 or nearly 55 years ago.
Dustin: Well played. Surprised no one tried to take on the mantle of the Car Guys after they retired. Ed is all about focusing on problems one can solve and not worrying about problems one can’t solve – like his son, Dustin!
Bizarro: a moment of true inspiration.
Judge Parker: Oh, to be young, good looking and with means, time and opportunity! I guess comics are sort of escapist afterall.
Mary Worth: Of course, Ian’s plan won’t work. Since he has now failed using biological means he is left with technology (robot dog – A nice Sony Aibo – tax deductible expense once it appears in the strip). So far so good, just has to stick the landing – has all of the makings of a true classic, dare I say it equaling the misadventures of Wilbur but set in one apartment.
Phantom: I guess the president is well up on the nuances of Patton’s 3rd army campaign – was this on the History Channel? This will be fun for the people back at the Pentagon to try to sort out. Is this guy nuts or could he be real? How much back pay is owed him? Or do they have to pay him since he was legally declared dead decades ago.
Rex Morgan: I guess Rex forgot he operated on a fireworks eye injury to Travis back in July 2023. So unless he is doing rogue surgery outside of the scope of practice and experience, he must surely know someone who is a colleague in the ophthalmology game. Yes, of course ophthalmologist are doctors – the pecking order is ophthalmologist – eye doctor MD, optometrist or DO, opticians and the classic archaic occulist.
Slylock Fox: Would old coins work in a relatively new machine which tries to sort out slugs with magnets? Or is the real crime, that those coins are fake and that they could be used in a modern soda machine proves that they are not true Spanish doubloons or silver dollars? Slylock scores twice. He arrests the coin thief and catches the dealer for trafficking in fake coins!
MW: Ian looks at the cat’s collar. “Drat! This cat is from Acme!” (anvil falls on Ian’s head).
@Chance: learning to spell ophthalmologist is the first lesson! True story in med school, back in the pre-cell phone era the unit of eye conditions was started off with the derivation of the word.
@Peanut Gallery: Yup, although if the writer is deliberately making Keri clueless and inconsistent in applying standards when convenient, that would be one of the more realistic depictions of a teen in recent comics.
@Ken: #21-Re-12/25 MW- Those blue balls on Mary’s Christmas tree? They’re Dr Jeff’s. The great thing is..they were blue when he brought them over and they’ll be blue when he takes them home.
Also also Rex Morgan M.D.: Just last week, I thought “Gosh, we haven’t seen Rex in a while.” Then I thought, “You know what, they haven’t dispensed any medical wisdom in an interesting narrative recently, either.” And for my sins, ladies and gentlemen, I have had most of my wishes fulfilled.
GT: It’s never been great, but the art has gotten so offensively ugly that I can’t even stand it appearing here to be Curmudgeoned. I have an almost physical revulsion.
Maybe I’m getting cataracts myself, but when I saw that panel of Gil yelling “Jami!” I thought he was yelling “JAM!” As in either “Let’s jam about new babies!” Or “Jam it down your ungrateful throat, you little bastard!”
MW: I hope Mary’s Christmas morning shoulder dislocation has healed by now.
Luann: But she wasn’t using it on her toenails! She had athlete’s @#$%.
@treetown: are: Rex Morgan, I should add: and below “occultist” is “OCCULTIST”, the witch who rubs herbs on your eyes to magic away the cataract. You’ll regain your eyesight, but lose your immortal soul!
DT: Okay, so after far more research than it deserves, I’ve concluded that I have no idea who the bald birthday boy is, and that even the Dick Tracy Wiki has no knowledge of Dick ever having a partner named Jerry. At least I’ve heard of Breathless Mahoney. At least something in this strip is comprehensible to someone who’s only been reading the strip for fifteen years!
(Okay, I also remember Mr Mirror and am utterly unenthused by the possibility of his return.)
EDIT: Okay, after a bit more research, I think the bald guy is Chief Brandon, Chief Patton’s predecessor, who retired in 1948, but apparently appeared as recently as 2011. Still no idea about Jerry.
FC: As you throw out your Christmas tree, why not imagine that it’s reflecting on the joy it brought to your family and that this makes it feel its life was worthwhile? That’s much nicer than realising that trees don’t actually care about your family, and it was already dead anyway!
Crank: Okay, is this the moment when they realise Ed isn’t safe and should be packed off to Bedside Manor?
Curtis: The adult who Curtis is always hanging around with just assaulted him in order to steal his food. Ah, whimsy!
MW: “So is this replacing the whole ‘Chadwells’ thing as your aburd life escape plan?”
“I was thinking we’d be the Jetwells! Meet Ted Jetwell…”
Zits: I don’t want to sound like Jeremy here, but Walt and Connie have … been places? Really?
RMMD 1/4/26:
In regards to no good surgeon operating on themselves, Black Jack would beg to differ. It has been years since I read any of Black Jack, but I have a vague recollection of a plot where he operated on himself because he was traveling by himself in some remote location.
I hope somebody from the Gil Thorp team looks at this blog and sees when I make comments about how hard the art is to look at.
@TheDiva: I guess with the Sylvester & Tweety method having failed, Ian will have to take a page from the great philospher and man of action Jerome Howard and start spraying a fire hose in an attempt to get the parrot wet enough that it can’t fly as seen in that great legal epic ‘Disorder in the Court’.
MW: As Mary and Jeff contemplate her patriotic Tannenbaum, Jeff wonders why Mary never puts any lights on the tree.
@Little Blue Bicycle: Make that an air conditioner.
BCN – I love the cat’s inventory of the advantages the human has for dealing with an unknown intruder in the kitchen. “You have resources! Thumbs! A credit card! Go hit it with your car!”
FC – Sick, sick, sick.
@treetown: Old University Truism: “The first stage in Nietzschean scholarship is spelling it.”
RMMD-Rex is so vain and arrogant that the only doctor he considers worthy to operate on him is himself.
@The Quiet Man: My mother wouldn’t let me watch the Stooges, on the grounds that they were childish and vulgar. She never foresaw that one day I would be able to buy their collected works on DVD and watch them whenever I pleased. So take that, mom, wherever you are!
Phantom: President Lumbago: “I’m pretty sure I saw this whole thing on an old Twilight Zone episode. But the old-timey pilot had the grace and good sense to fly back into the past before the half-hour was up. Hint, hint.”
@White Rabbit: Ah, Moms. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em.
Luann had a bad case of crabs and used up all her mother’s crab medicine. Why Nancy keeps plenty of crab medicine around is a question for another day.
MW- There once was a big pompous ass, who married a much younger lass; she brought home a parrot, and he could not bear it, when his feline murder plan did not come to pass!
@Sequitur: Zoa leaps to his feet, only to be stopped by the muzzle of a gun.
“Zoa, you old son-of-a-gun!”
“Jungle Jim! And you brought Daddy with you!”
DT: a) “Mr. Mirror” is a complete ripoff of the mysterious grim reaper figure from the Maya Deren avant-garde classic Meshes of the Afternoon, right?
b) Is Old Birthday Fart with the bad heart the same guy as the apparition in red sunglasses in the penultimate panel? So he was Breathless’s
pimpmentor back in the day?c) No way 1940s Chester Gould gave Breathless Mahoney a rack like that. The character was less Jessica Rabbit and more Veronica Lake/Barbara Stanwyck femme fatale.
@Hibbleton: Let’s just say, you probably don’t want to look at Greg Evans’s browser history.
Glad to see you back, Josh!
RMMD: I was wondering what solid black hardbound book Rex is reading for leisure. Having zoomed all the way in, I’m about 90% certain that the cover says “A Princess of Mars/Burroughs,” which I guess isn’t surprising, since Rex was established as an ERB fan (https://joshreads.com/2017/07/mostly-soapy-wednesday-3/) way back in the day.
@95 White Rabbit: Athlete’s…what? WHAT? Athlete’s boob cracks?
@97 Horace Broon: Remember, Walt and Connie were normal middle-class young people before they were parents. They went to rock concerts–Walt wearing a loincloth! at Burning Man! Presumably they traveled, too. After all, they’re not the DustParents or LuannParents.
@100 The Quiet Man: That’s a classic!
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: and why the squat, ugly one?
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
@White Rabbit: Same here! Only the reason was, I’d just go act that way in school and get in trouble. She was right. Plus, my face got stuck this way.
Mary Worth: maybe they offer too many kinds if mounts in this game.
y1037. Poteet, thanks for the correction, showing me the error of my ways. Suppose I need to quit bragging that last year I NEVER slipped up. We all need editors.
MW: something more dire could be afoot. There’s a loud knock in the night. Either Pompous Axx falls out the window or a startled Sunny, still on Vixen’s back, flies himself + cat to a tree
Now that Josh and Sid have safely returned,we need to confront the obvious. Why were they and Uncle Lumpy all missing last week? Were they conspiring to bring back Apt 3G, going to a dry January kickoff, kidnapping leader of a nearby country?
May Worth: And here I had no idea that the grawlix for the swear “motherf____ing” included the symbol for euro.
@Chance:
#67. Be kind, Chance, no one gives an “h”.
@Baja Gaijin:
#82. MW: Kudos, Baja, you predicted Ian’s fall before I did. Can you predict how and why Sunny saves him?
@Buck Ripsnort:
#93. Buck Ripsnort, forgive me for not introducing myself earlier at the Fall Fling Rut. From your name, we wonder if you’re related to our dear friend, Formerly Wounded Elk. How is he? Did he take our advice and retire to a preserve? We care
Happy.holidays,Josh! Hope you like the ” 9 Weirdchick Lame” PJs and bedsheets I sent.
@Activist: Uncle Lumpy was on a work assignment with Josh in a suburb of Oslo for the past several weeks. The Lumpster has been whooping it up with a Nordski barista, but Josh came back stateside to break up with his wealthy benefactor before heading back to “find himself” by reading through the complete works of Knut Hamsun.
Psst, Josh. Hunger and Pan get all the rave reviews, but Mysteries really is the best.
The Familliar Mucus: I prefer the original version of this comic where the tree was cursing Charlie Brown for killing the artificial tree trend.
Low and Hi-less: “Jimmy Carter’s not gonna like this,Lois!”
Welcome to 2026, Josh! And welcome back to comment numbers with fewer than four digits.
MW: Note to self: Don’t try to recruit a cat to do my dirty work unless I can provide some really nice treats.
RMMD: The Morgans get a yearly bonus for pushing anxiety meds and if that means that they have to induce anxiety in each other to make it go down easier, well, so be it.
Tragedy ensues, when it’s revealed the batteries for chestlights cause cancer. The tragedy is that this dork’s police health insurance has to pay for it.
C-Shaft: Not sure what kind of “tips” Crankshaft is expecting but I can guess what kind he’ll get.
DT: Hey, the guest artist kicks off by drawing Tess Tracy nee Trueheart. Silent and passive, but still, I thought the next time I saw her would be on a carton of 2%.
Dustin: In Dustdad’s defense—and don’t expect to hear that phrase too often—the caller really was burying the lede.
Luann Luann could have just gone to the drug store and bought more. Oh, right, she’s saving up for the move to her own apartment that’s totally going to happen.
Phantom: In Bangalla’s political system, the nation’s barroom trivia champion is elevated to the presidency every other year. That way if a time traveling allied soldier brings up something Patton did, snap! He’s got it right in his head.
SFx: Momentarily I was worried that Slylock might have to search Reeky’s nether regions for the coins. To my relief, the solution is just “Reeky is a moron.”
Welcome back, Josh. The site was starting to turn into Mongo after Ming was deposed. Every petty king and ruler jockeying to be the next big kahuna, making and breaking alliances willy-nilly.
@Baja Gaijin: Athlete’s…what? WHAT?
Didn’t you ever hear that joke? Girl: “Do it with your big toe!” LATER, the doctor: “The other day a girl came in here with athlete’s c@#t.”
Bethany: “Step or otherwise! Out! Shoo!”
Late Thread Cuisine: Those are hot dogs. Seriously.
@Baja Gaijin: Better Hells and Goblins
Mark Trail: “Oh no! All our hoes washed away!”
Excited for the 2026 rebrand of Rex Morgan, MD Who Wears An Eyepatch
@Activist: Doing it once within a CC post is an amusing trifle:-). Doing it on financial documents, as I have in past years, is actual error. Happy 2026! (2026, 2026, 2026, 2026, 2026, she mutters to herself.)
@Science Goblin: It was either that or the hook hand, which admittedly would have added some humor to the surgery scenes.
Welcome back, Josh! I’m relieved, to tell the truth. I was touched to read, when you departed, that you love us all, and then I got a little nervous. Yaaay, you’re safely here again!
And honestly, I would never have looked up The New Middle-Aged-Crisis Adventures Of Gil Thorpe, so I appreciate seeing a sample here. Now I hope we won’t get TMI about exactly and specifically why this hawt young woman is such an amazing gift. Also I’m wondering about the size of Gil’s estate, and whether Jami has any serious reason to resent another claimant. Depending on his age, he could possibly consider the Henrik/Anne maneuver from A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC.
@taig: Iowa was the original home of BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS, and your version is great.
@Baja Gaijin:
Would eat ’em until you took them away from me.
MW: Are we going to see any more of the dimwit neighbor who sent her poor cat into peril?? Ye gods, Neighbor Lady, Ian’s crazed expression should have told you all you needed to know!!
MT: Sorry, Mark, but Iowa hosted the most wonderful webcam mother bald eagle to date, BY FAR. Eat your heart out. The eagles in today’s MT can only hope to approximate her glorious record. “The famous “Mom Decorah” bald eagle in Iowa raised a large number of chicks over the years, with reports mentioning successful fledges of up to 39 eaglets across seasons, often successfully raising clutches of three, even as a single mother for a period. She was known for successful nesting, and became a beloved figure through live eagle cams.”
@Poteet: This seems like a story more suited to Bats Belfry (or whatever Wilbur’s crazy ex-girlfriend was named).
@Baja Gaijin:
I despise hot dogs so I can’t give this a fair evaluation. However, the tuna bacon mac and cheese side I can say, oh hell no, despite liking each of the individual ingredients by themselves.
RMMD: “Well, Rex, I’ve called all the ophthalmologists in town. They all say they’re on vacation, suddenly retired, ill, or in malpractice proceedings, except Dr. Krankheit, who’s out on parole and anxious to get started again.”
“Bethany! Your eyes are melting! Have you been sticking your face in the microwave again?!?”
Mary’s Worst: Where’s Curtis to narrate this Kwanzaa tale of “The Pompous Axx And His Bird Brained Wife”? And when does the giant golden otter chase the Ian away?
@Lauralot: Mission accomplished!
@Guillermo el chiclero: So if the CC is Mongo, that makes Josh Ming? He was probably hoping to be Mister SexFlash McHero himself, but at least he’ll get the trains running on time.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Gives you a Patton the head.
LUANN: I’d say today’s strip was one of the stupidest recent LUANN strips, but sadly, there is too much competition.
@treetown: I heartily approve of this pedagogy.
@Ukulele Ike: #152: According to the laws of Toa if you kill a rebellious mudge Josh will give you one of those pardons Ming promised.
@MKay:
@GarrisonSkunk: How about a giant rambling otter? RAAAWWRRR!!!
@Poteet: I still feel bad about taking another commentator’s comment out of context, a while back, and assuming that Josh might have had cancer. And did a big whole (not seriously) spiel about writing “Josh’s story” but as heartwarming as I could make it.
I still don’t know if Josh had found that touching or morbid. I still deeply apologize to him.
@The Rambling Otter: A 1000ft Kaiju otter, who will gladly talk about anything and everything!
@Tabby Lavalamp: If we can accept batarangs and the Batmobile, I think we can accept a ghostcatlight.
____________________________
As long as it uses Neveready™ brand batteries.
@153 Poteet:
TruFans will cut it out and attach it to their refrigerator so they can see it every time they open the frig to get a serving of stuffed baked franks (@135 Baja Gaijin:)
Jim, Jim, Jim of the jungle, watch out for that tree!
Yes, friend Jim, together we wiped out Cho Fang. But I of wish we took out that machine gun nest by a stealth attack at night and not a frontal assault over open ground in broad daylight. Half of the women in my village are now widows, and as their king I have to provide for them and their children, but who am I to criticize mighty whitey.
@The Rambling Otter: @GarrisonSkunk: How about a giant rambling otter? RAAAWWRRR!!!
________________
I’ll put in a good word with Sid for you,Rambling.