Damn, they made Max put on a suit for this, but Slylock gets to keep wearing his goofy cape
Post Content
Wizard of Id, 2/2/26
Thanks to the several faithful readers who pointed out that the Wizard of Id I featured a week ago is reusing the exact same art as a strip from 2015, except the dialogue has been rewritten to be horny instead of bloodthirsty. Let’s hear it for the victory of eros over thanatos? I guess??? Not sure if this one is a repeat too, but I do find the backstory reveal interesting, in that we learn that it was the Wizard’s wife who turned him on to “this,” though it’s not entirely clear what “this” is (football, the TV set, a dimension outside Id’s pseudo-medieval setting, etc.).
Slylock Fox, 2/2/26
Look, I joke a lot about the arbitrary nature of justice in the Forest Kingdom, but years ago I was a juror on an honest to god drug conspiracy case in Baltimore, and there were significantly fewer witnesses than this, so maybe I’ve been overhasty.
Pluggers, 2/2/26
Oh, what’s that, pluggers? You think you’re trapped in a never-ending slog, where each day is exactly like the last and you never make any kind of forward progress? Well, so do the rest of us! You’re not special!
149 replies to “Damn, they made Max put on a suit for this, but Slylock gets to keep wearing his goofy cape”
Slylock Fox-Slick Smitty was held in contempt of court for complaining about the judge wasn’t a kangaroo in this kangaroo court.
MW-It’ll be crullers at noon.
FC-The trees are desperate. They need the money. They have no green.
Wizard of Id-The Wizard has turned the entire team into horcruxes for the day that the masses rise up against him and try to kill him.
WoI: “This” refers to her naughty bits. She’s rueing her long marriage to the wizard.
Pluggers steadfastly refuse to listen to any radio station other than the local boomer oldies channel.
Wary Morth:
Fly, butterfly! Flap away from this madhouse as fast as possible!
______________________________
Zits:
Ni…………..?
?
?Nihilist? Nincompoop? Ninny? Nimrod? Nintendo? Nicaraguan?
______________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
“Let’s see, pendicitis, that means inflammation of the pend…the pend… (reaches for medical dictionary) I knew I should’ve paid attention in anatomy class!”
______________________________
Wary Morth:
Toby (on turning up with Sunny and Rosie riding on each shoulder and being denied admittance): “I thought it was Parrotery Royale!”
Id: I know the sports betting situation is really bleak out there at the moment, but it will get even worse when DraftKings let you wager your immortal soul on a 10-leg parlay.
Pluggers: Pluggers listening to the oldies station on their alarm clock for a few seconds while they find the SNOOZE button now make up 90% of the remaining audience for music radio.
Slylock Fox:
Not sure, but you can see that the judge didn’t give a hoot.
Pluggers:
Why is that annoying Sonny Bono fellow singing in that nasal tone about the 21st letter of the alphabet — ‘I’ve Got “U”, Babe’ ???”
MW: I just had a horrifying vision that after Toby leaves the birds alone again we are about to see a ridiculously over-the-top stereotype of an illegal immigrant speaking with a thick accent smashing the window to reclaim his ill-gotten property.
RMMD: The ‘pendicitis? Is that like ‘the croup’ or ‘the plumb high-sterics’? Good to see Marjorie Main here is bringing a little touch of roots country to our medical storyline.
JP: ‘…Plus she’s still rich instead of mortaged to the hilt like the jailbirds we are, so if we play our cards right you and I could be on Easy Street once Judgey Wudgey finally keels over from all the booze I’ve been plying him with!’
@Where’s Rocky?: Those still exist? I thought they all shut down when satellite radio took all their customers (the ones who didn’t die off, that is).
Slylock Fox:
Can you figure out the order in which the animals testified?
Sure. Let me just see the transcript.
I glanced at Mary Worth and honestly thought it was one of the parrots asking Toby to lunch. Then I realized that couldn’t be so, as the question wasn’t in Spanish.
Slylock Fox:
From the looks of things, the rabbit and the beaver should be headed, right after they testify, to the offices of the local endodontist, Dr. Mel Aklusian.
Slylock Fox: Slick Smitty robs a preschool, wouldn’t one assume that you know, there’d be KIDS as witnesses?
While presumably the elderly beaver is a teacher, hut what is this phone-a-holic teen, big thuggish looking bear, and narcoleptic stork doing around a preschool?
Were they cafeteria staff? Do preschools have a cafeteria outside of juice boxes and sippy cups?
Darn you Slylock for making me think about this!
Pluggers – For pluggers, every day feels like Groundhog Day, because pluggers are furry quadrupeds. Also because every day brings another Pluggers cartoon that’s nearly indistinguishable from all the others.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Another flat tire for you”
“Put it with the others. I have a ton of these to fix”
“So you’re happy with my business strategy?”
“Yeah, except for one thing…”
“I still don’t think we should bill our customers for the thumbtacks”
RMMD: Fancy vernacular from Tildy. I’d expect her to say that the young ‘un was lookin’ like the northbound end of a southbound pig, or at least that he was feelin’ a mite peaky.
DtM: What is harder to teach Dennis; respect or prepositions?
SLYLICK: I’ve had jury duty a fantastic four times and I’ve got some issues here:
– Where IS the jury?
– Smitty’s lawyer couldn’t find ONE human witness? Incompetent.
– Slylock isn’t a lawyer, why is he standing there?
– Did Max Mouse go rogue and steal that money? Otherwise, what’s the point?
Pluggers:
“I can’t put my ‘little hand’ in yours,” grouses the Plugger. “For starters, I’m never drawn as having a small hand. More importantly, my ‘fingers’ are always depicted as malformed protuberances that would be impossible to form into a grip!”
Oops. SlyLOck
Pluggers… are annoyed towards all of the groundhogs coming in from Upper Groundhogdia and taking their jobs.
Why would Pluggers set their alarm for 6:00? Pluggers are old and retired and haven’t done an honest day’s work in years.
@MKay: It was maybe a bench trial? (Where one doesn’t need a jury)
Pluggers:
[Rabbit]: “What’s up, Doc?”
[Defense counsel]: “Move to strike!”
Luann: For cryin’ out loud, GET UP AND WALK OUT. This class is actively wasting your time. Real people are walking out of real classrooms and jobs in protest of current events, but you’re staying to listen to your high school guidance counselor talk about self-published romance novel covers? In hopes that she might get to the point, which is “career paths” – something all three of you should have gotten years ago? And now Les wants to sleep? What on earth does he need to rest from?
Phantom I think they forgot to hit “pause” on the dailies’ timeline when they went to the Sunday story – Either Cook ran across the compound to get Patrolwoman, or she caught up with the group just as Cook started to have a massive heart attack from the excitement.
GT guest artist alert! Look! Keri with large but not ridiculous earrings! Are they trying to show us that any other pro out there could do a better job than the official artist?
Pluggers: Well, Leechburg is only one county over from Punxsutawney, so if anybody has a right to this observation…
WoI So, I guess the Wizard of Id team saw what a raging success Gearhead Gertie was and decided to transition to something similar except football? Say what you will, I think GG could use some magical elements to it.
SFx: I like how Smitty’s defense seems to be just yelling “INNOCENT!” dramatically at each and every question he’s asked. He knows that when dealing with animals, concise, repeated messages are key,
Pluggers Bearman rolls over to see a groundhog resting his head on the other pillow “Gerald, we can’t keep doing this…“
Dammit, Pluggers, do better. How do you do this joke with a bear, rather than introduce a #lovable #relatable groundhog character? They’re cute, they’re fat, they hibernate: seems like exactly your core demographic.
@Pozzo: I just saw a headline the other day about how Punxsutawney Phil is the least accurate of all the weather-predicting rodents, so, uh, anyone?
The Wizard of Id: Does anyone else think it’s a bad idea for a medieval wizard to “put his entire soul” into something, especially a demonic entity such as televised sports? No? Just me?
@Bob Tice:
Oops. That’s Slylock Fox, not Pluggers.
GT: The last “Foxy” I remember is “Foxy Ferrell.” She was a stripper in The Choirboys. I think she dated Baxter Slate and that she trimmed her pubes into a heart and died them red. If both were put on a scale, I am not certain that Fate could see a way to raise one of them up.
Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids: A justice system that closes its witness list with Theresa Beaver (née Defarge) knitting away while she recommends the guillotine for Slick Smitty can’t be all that. On the other hand, it is an improvement on what we have at the moment, so hooray for animal justice, I guess?
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Has anyone told Johnny that Ed Gein was the first person to write a book with an appendix in it?
BG&SS: “No one’s gonna pay to see a feller eat five-alarm chili. That ear hair, however, is probably worth a quarter.”
DtM: Margaret dutifully says her line for the bit but she’s not happy about it. “I wasn’t classically trained for this!“
Phantom: Ok – so mining is for gemstones? And the cook was playing the long game waiting for his chance?
RMMD: “ C’mon Aunt Tilda, you are a Vassar graduate, knock off the roots country Granny from Beverly Hillbilly fake accent”
MW: Is that Ian on the phone or MW or someone new?
JP: “Sure Neddy isn’t blood family, but she has our same hairdo, facial structure and face it, has never faced murder charges or multiple class A felonies and being wanted by the US Marshal service.”
GT: He may look disshelved, but THE FOX knows how to sell! Had that Vette sitting on the lot for months waiting for the right … sucker. Also another guest artist – this one is good with vehicles.
DT: I get it now. DT always juts his arm out like that when a call comes in because there is a short. There is a shock that shoots up his arm forcing him to straighten his elbow. Tracy is too proud to admit there is any flaw to his gadget. He can’t ask Diet Smith to fix it. He is sensitive to Diet Smith’s feelings: Smith had a great idea with the wrist radio phone but missed out on all that sweet cell phone money – to this day, he can’t talk about it.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
I just saw a headline the other day about how Punxsutawney Phil is the least accurate of all the weather-predicting rodents, so, uh, anyone?
A co-worker came to work one Monday after spending a long weekend in Punxsutawney during the event and said it was basically a town wide drunk fest which might explain the fallacious forecasts.
So what is the Wizard’s favorite NFL team? Purple symbolized royalty in his era, so it’s probably not the Vikings or Ravens. Nobody’s favorite color is teal, so that eliminates the Dolphins and Jaguars.
I’m guessing it’s the Raiders. His robe is black and white, and the Raiders have a cool but very outdated mystique that a casual fan might be attracted to. The Jets are my #2 guess. They rock the green, they’re in an important city, and they’re still living off Super Bowl III. And rooting for either of those teams would certainly make you throw things at the TV.
SFox: I don’t want to sound Classist (Class Mammalia vs. Class Aves), but what do birds understand about milk?
MW: Toby shows up in the lobby to meet Mary with a parrot on each shoulder.
“We’ve talked about day-drinking before, Toby.”
@pugfuggly: To be honest, I’ve seen statements made in trials on par with that.
The rabbit hole goes down pretty deep.
The Wizard clearly lives in a pseuo-European monarchy. There’s no way he’s calling anything just “football” unless it’s two teams in shorts kicking a round ball around a pitch. But I may be overthinking a comic strip where a medieval sorcerer has a CRT television and a modern couch.
***
I don’t believe that bird is allowed within 500 feet of a pre-school.
***
Pluggers wake up every day angry that the night didn’t welcome them into the sweet embrace of eternal rest. They’ve never been more relatable.
Max is probably looking for a vending machine for a package of cheese brownies or cheese soda.
Cheese brownies… there’s Baja’s next Late Thread Cuisine!
@Tabby Lavalamp: Yes, it’s very relatable. Because I am also angry that Pluggers have not been welcomed into the sweet embrace of eternal rest.
Wizard of Id – “Even found a team with my favorite colors.” Which I will not specify, and the subject WILL NEVER BE MENTIONED AGAIN
Also, just to note. I couldn’t get onto the comments yesterday.
One of my extensions was blocking it, but only for that day.
I removed that extension but I still couldn’t get on.
FC – Come on, Dolly, let’s hear you mangle the word “ecdysiast.”
MW:
June shuffled into the kitchen and reached for the steaming cup of coffee that Karen was holding out for her. She stopped and looked around in surprise.
“The 45 gallons of green ink are gone! Color me surprised! I didn’t think Sid would follow through. You must have really intimidated him, Karen.”
“Well, I think it’s not a bad thing to keep him in line on occasion. Generally, he’s a great guy. Anyway, it was his intern that screwed up. But I’m glad we have the space back–I thought if I barked my shins on those boxes one more time…!
There was a knock at the door, and Karen rose to answer it. A delivery man had another box. Karen eyed it suspiciously, and frowned when she saw Sid’s name on the return address. “What’s this, now?” she demanded, signing for the package and closing the door. “God help me if it’s more green ink. Wait, there’s a note….”
Karen opened the attached envelope and read aloud: Dear Ladies, Sorry again about that mix-up with the green ink. Hope this supply of pink ink will stand you in good stead for drawings that feature Toby and, hey! You’re reminding me that I’ve acquired some new clients and I want to offer you a freebie appearance by McQueen, one of my star lepidopterans! She’s pink, also, and I might add IN the pink, unlike the Doves o’ Love which you might have heard caught a virus from the parrots and are now recovering in the local aviary. (Funny story: Intern mistook my directions and went to the local apiary where he managed to get stung by several hundred honey bees when he tried to put the Doves o’ Love into the box.) Anyway, I figured you could use the pink for Toby and McQueen. We’ll give the butterfly a try and see how folks respond. It’s a nice harbinger of spring, amirite? I gotta say, that damned groundhog managed to get this morning’s script wrong and now look where we are. Talk to me soon. Ciao.”
June wrinkled her nose thoughtfully. “I think I can do butterflies. At least they’re outside, right? I mean, we’re not going to have Wilbur start collecting them or anything, are we? Like, he pins them to a board as a new hobby?”
Karen looked up, interested. “Huh!”
The wizard does gesture based magic, right? Or did some poor referee just get struck blind by his outburst, permanently denied their vision and livelihood for daring to rule against someone wearing colors the wizard likes? Just how serious is the regret over getting him interested?
Slick Smitty is accused of stealing milk. Which of these witnesses was not in the industrial milking facility near the school, tethered to machines to provide the youth with fresh milk? Which witness was not in their assigned place, making eggs? Because there’s something suspicious in a citizen that’s not providing according to their abilities.
Slylock is calling witnesses to the crime, so I get why he’s in court. I’d assume he’d be a witness, not some sort of police-prosecutor, but I don’t understand the beast folks’ ways. It’s fine.
Why is Max there, though? Is he just always attached to Slylock? Do the bonds of predator and prey run that deep? Or did he want to wear his Pride Parade suit to court on Groundhog Day? If so, I think that’s neat!
Dennis the Menace: Mr. Wilson has eyes in his pants.
Slylock: Smitty “reappropriated” the school’s milk as part of his newfound white nationalist whole milk identity (Yes, that’s a thing).
Crankshaft : WRITE THEM DOWN IN A NOTEBOOK YOU KEEP NEXT TO YOUR COMPUTER
BATIUKJEFF YOU COLOSSAL DUMBASS**********
Luann : …yeah, Luann needs to walk out of this class. Then, go directly to Bernice to talk about this fiasco, and Bernice can go “Luann, if Mrs Fogarty is the author of those books, she’s not only my favorite book author, she’s a near-universally critically praised multi-millionaire.”, and then Luann can be all “OH NO I THREW AWAY PROPER MENTORING FOR SUCCESS BECAUSE I JUDGED A BOOK BY ITS COVER”…
…Though that sequence of events would make more sense if Mrs Fogarty was teaching CREATIVE WRITING, not whatever the hell “Career Paths” is…
***********
Pluggers : see as the Bill Murray movie as aspirational. Come on, they already are stuck in a rut of everyday being the same, being free of their actions having permanent consequences, and also the passage of time being stopped means their ever-increasing decrepitude due to aging ALSO stops!
**********
Slylock Fox : By “stealing milk from a pre-school”, they mean “harassing kindergarteners (specifically, goats, cows and ewes)”
…too far?…Pluggers are pretty sure they have the acerbic charm of a Bill Murray, but not like an artsy, Wes Anderson-era Bill Murray, they’re not into that. And I guess not in his SNL-through-Ghostbusters years, a little too high energy for a Plugger’s tastes. Pluggers are very fond of Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties though. Did you know they go to England in that one? Ha ha, imagine, Garfield! In England! (turning off the alarm and falling back asleep while chuckling) I bet they don’t even make lasagna the same there.
SlylickFox And Comix For Kinx: Can you guess in which order the bear ate the other witnesses?
PLUGGERS: For Pluggers, everyday feels like Groundhog day…especially since “their sort” moved in right next door! What’s happening to this neighborhood these days?
Pluggers – I’d be more interested in a Groundhog Day-themed panel in which Andy Bear mauls Ned Ryerson.
I’d love for this whole Career Paths class to be a test. “You see, Luann Tara and Les, the first step to having a successful career is recognizing what is and isn’t a productive use of your time. I’ve been intentionally wasting your time – which you figured out on your own – and you three idiots are still sitting there pretending to pay attention. The rest of the class left at least 20 minutes ago! That’s what you were SUPPOSED to do! The point of this class was to get you to start asserting yourselves, and thinking about what you do and don’t want in life. You failed. Miserably. You took the class, showed up late for it, and suffered in silence, like the parentally-dominated, browbeaten schlubs you are. Now, all three of you, get lost.”
“And by the way: yes, Les, I know you took naps in my office during high school. I let you do it. I didn’t want to waste my time with you any more than you wanted to waste your time with me. Thanks for all the unofficial break time you gave me, which I used to start writing my first novel. Getting the point yet?”
In my experience, college does occasionally throw this kind of “don’t let schooling interfere with your education” lesson at you.
JP: “I’m having a dash of coffee in my brandy. How do you take yours?”
@Hibbleton: #35: Yeah, saw the whole Punxatawney Phil ceremony on the morning news once. The mayor and city council, decked out like Mr. Monopoly with top hats and tails, drunk out of their gourds, yank that poor fellow out of his cage at 5AM while it’s still dark outside and hold the terrified animal up to all the flashing cameras to make the big announcement.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Oh, come on, C-hu. You know we wouldn’t send one of our regulation Groundhogs for a gig at Pluggers! Not to mention the fact none would be willing to go over to that place…. you know what I’m talkin’ about. I don’t see YOU appearing there, either.
I guess it just shows the state of our current society when Groundhog Day is mostly missing from the Comics venue. There was a time when it was a red-letter day for us – had to scout for weeks ahead to fill the demand. Yeah, good times…
I think the problem started when every little burg and hamlet started hiring their own amateur prognosticators, trying to promo a money-making “festival” – and of course the weather predictions lost all credibility as a result.
So what’s left for the traditional Groundhog pros? Some of our clients now call themselves Woodchucks to avoid typecasting, and a few have even adopted the use of prosthetic tails to tap into the Beaver-role market. Never thought I’d live to see it…
Slylock Fox:
It’s a trick question. The answer is that none of them testified, in any order. As is evident from the depiction in the first panel, the prospective witnesses weren’t sequestered before testifying. Defense counsel thus objected to the proffer of any of them as witnesses because they were all together, able to discuss one another’s testimony, and the Court struck them all from the witness list. Without any witnesses to call, Slylock lost his case, which he would have done, anyway, because he disrespected the dignity of the Court inasmuch as he and his sidekick wore hats into the courtroom.
The moral here, of course, is that crime pays, and now Slick Smitty is free to continue his life of unrestrained lactic kleptomania.
JP: What, a Parker/Spencer/Driver is making and pouring her own coffee? Isn’t Marie supposed to magically manifest herself whenever one of the entitled bitches desires some java?
FC: I like the look of disinterested ennui on Jeffy’s face. As dumb as he is he still doesn’t believe any of Dolly’s horse squeeze but is just playing along. He’s so afraid of her that he knows if he doesn’t agree she’ll go narc on him over some trumped up charge.
@Hibbleton: you mean, it isn’t the heart warming place where people are fundamentally good hearted and kind?? Once again, movies have misled me.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Her life is a whole NEGATIVE lesson on a career. Her true passion is as a romance novelist. Her “day job” is as a counselor and like many artists working a day job they really didn’t like, they do a half-ass job!
Pluggers – Wasn’t Gus Groundhog one of the former Plugger characters? I think he got bounced in favor of the Kanagaroo/Dog lady (a Garoodoodle?).
Luann is hoping for a rote training class, like multiplication tables in grade school? This is supposed to be an open-ended conversation with someone who’s not going to send you to detention. Behave like something akin to an adult.
Crankshaft: I don’t want to do this to Marshall Crenshaw but I’m glad that XTC or Danny Wilson aren’t name checked. Yet.
GT: Welcome to the wonderful world of adolescent unmarried male insurance rate autos, Peanut. Oh, and I hope you’ve got a riding mechanic.
Gasoline Alley: Gertie knows that if she calls it palliative care, she cannot be disciplined for providing any mood-altering drugs to a patient. Especially if it’s in food.
Blondie: The chart is also going backwards. If only Dithers & Co. could make money off a mundane commodity like time travel.
JP: Ann’s one to talk about strangers, having been completely absent circa 1965-circa 2024…
I can remember when I’d first noticed the changing of the guard at JP, when Marciuliano replaced Wilson. I seem to remember Neddy and the late Godiva Danube going into business together, and failing to launch when the place burned to the ground and Godiva left Neddy holding the bag. Following several years of our heroes writing best-selling novels, cleaning up at casinos and having a Mideastern oil tycoon showering them with riches for no reason I could discern, this was quite the shock!
Pluggers: When Bill Murray’s Phil Connors discovered he was living the same day over and over in Groundhog Day, he tuned his clock radio to an oldies station, ranted at people who didn’t care about his opinions, drove badly, ate lots of unhealthy food, unsuccessfully hit on a co-worker, was pressured into buying too much insurance, attended community events, did auto repairs, did chainsaw art, bought tickets to a monster truck rally, and finally decided that life is ultimately meaningless so he might as well focus on little things he could do to pass the time. He was a plugger!
@Anonymous: Re: Luann:
It would make more sense because multi-millionaire writers love slumming it at the local underfunded
daycarecommunity college, when they can get more prestigious gigs at more prominent universities (or even get their own writing seminars. Or even just…not, since one of the benefits of being super-rich is that you can devote yourself to your art full-time without having to worry about a second job, especially one you just admitted you didn’t really like that much.)But we are not out to make sense. We are out to make nostalgia, since the point of this is the recreate the (sigh) “glory days” of the high-school era by bringing back (sigh again) “old favorites” and ignore that Luann (both the person and the strip) is floundering in college, having alienated a good portion of her cast.
Slylock Fox: The bear’s head looks like a different art style/artist than everything else.
Slylock Fox: Optimistic of Josh to presume that these are actual witnesses to the crime and not just random people that Slylock is bribing and/or threatening into corroborating his version of events.
Also Slylock Fox: “Please stay seated and come to order. The Honorable Judge Woodsy Owl presiding. Give a hoot, don’t pollute.”
Pluggers: A lot of Pluggers installments really do just boil down to Pluggers trying to “reclaim” things literally nobody would even ponder trying to reframe as a positive. Thus we get stuff like this, in which a Plugger smugly boasts about the fact that his dementia has rendered him incapable of discerning what time he even inhabits.
@2+2=7: The entire cast of Luann is what I call MOORPs: Mediocre Offspring Of Rich Parents. And it would be amazing if Luann (the person or the comic strip) realized that, and tried to do somehing – literally ANYTHING – to change their direction. But no, they’ll just sit there in a remedial class taught by a failed high school guidance counselor, slack off like high schoolers, judge like high schoolers, gossip like high schoolers, do part-time fast food jobs like high schoolers, date like high schoolers, and wonder why their life still feels like high school.
@2+2=7:
Luann (both the person and the strip) is floundering in college, having alienated a good portion of her cast.
… a lot of Luann’s (both the person and the strip) problems would not exist if the strip had made her be Bernice’s roommate at Moony U., and had her take a part-time job at the Fuse, especially the “Luann has next-to-no connections to the rest of the ensemble cast” issue.
But I guess it wasn’t realistic for her to go to the same college as Bernice
*, and she couldn’t start working at the event center/restaurant her parents bought because… what the heck was the reason that Luann is not more involved with the Fuse stuff? Was it that Luann WAS supposed to be involved, she and Quill were supposed to do theater plays there, but then they broke up and Luann gave up on acting forever, and she couldn’t offer instead to help waitressing or cooking or whatever?*Meanwhile whatever hair-brained contrivance the strip came up with to enable a “Luann and Bernice are in the same bedroom, talking about dumb stuff” sequence was okay.Pluggers have been in stuck in a twenty-four hour loop for nearly fifteen years and have yet to notice.
SFx: What, Slick Smitty didn’t leave any telling clues fabricate an easily picked-apart alibi, forcing Slylock to amuse himself by creating logic puzzles about the witness order? Come on Smitty! You’re RUINING it for him!
SLYLOCK FOX: I swear, that threw in that thought bubble to disguise the notion that this picture of Max is just reused clip-art from time at the dog-track. I gotta lot riding on number #8 and that mutt’s gotta win it all, I can feel it!l, the original caption went.
Dustin: Dustin finally gets a potshot in at his sister, proving that he’s as petty and loathsome as she is.
FG: Well, of course not. You think Ming can keep track of EVERYONE who stirs up rebellion against him? He’s an evil emperor; he’s got quite a lot on his plate!
Luann: Look, Mrs. Phelps-Fogarty is a published author so I automatically respect her more than any of these losers, even if it is most likely a self-published trashy romance that has a better than even chance of being an Outlander fanfic with the serial numbers filed off.
MT: No you don’t.
RMMD: Damn, usually I have to go to Gil Thorp to see a face melting that fast.
sex Organ,V.D.:”I wanted an OPERATION™ I could brag about! Cant they remove the butterflies from my stomach? The water on my knee?My overly scratchy scrotum? I promise I’ll make my nose turn red and say,”BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
@Dan: Pluggers are pretty sure they have the acerbic charm of a Bill Murray, but not like an artsy, Wes Anderson-era Bill Murray, they’re not into that. And I guess not in his SNL-through-Ghostbusters years, a little too high energy for a Plugger’s tastes.
Are you kidding? Pluggers love SNL era Bill Murray and, in fact, won’t ever shut up about how SNL hasn’t been any good since the Bill Murray era.
Blondie,the Neighborhood Bumstead: “YOU’RE UPSIDE DOWN,BUMSTEAD!” [KICK!]
“Who shot Mr Burns” showed us that while “stealing candy from a baby” is a byword for something easy, it should better indicate something sinister and evil. What I am saying is that stealing milk from preschooler is such a heinous crime that it will stir racial hatred towards surviving humans but also create hundreds of true crime female fans sending love letters to Smitty
Gil Thorp – Hooray! A guest artist. No queasy stomachs from looking at unbelievably ugly artwork, at least this week.
According to The Daily Cartoonist, Rachel Merrill was absent the last time because she got married.
Mary Worth – Please please please, can that butterfly flap its wings and make this bullshit story disappear? I hope the butterfly doesn’t have to be halfway across the world for that to work.
Rex Morgan – Aunt Tildy auditioned for a role in Gasoline Alley, but they rejected her because she was too rustic and moronic.
9CL – She’s a sockdologizing old mantrap.
BLAM!
Too soon?
You might laugh about the Wizard picking a team because he like its colours. But is it any more rational than how we pick our teams? Or religion?
Groundhog Gertie: GG drives everyone crazy because she can’t find her beloved 2/2 t-shirt.Her husband plots* to put her underground permanently.
.
.
.
.
.
*See what I did there?
This makes more sense when you understand that there are groundhog Pluggers and the expression “Groundhog Day” is racially charged
Even if they are retired, Pluggers wake up at dawn to start early being cantankerous
@I speak Jive: “According to The Daily Cartoonist, Rachel Merrill was absent the last time because she got married.”
Mazel tov, Rachel! Is it too much to hope you got hitched to a rabidly old-fashioned right-winger who refuses to allow his new wife to work? Get in that kitchen and make him a sandwich!
I could live with this ”Louie the Chin” guest mobster guy. He gave both Keri and Foxy Foxtrot better haircuts.
If the prosecution is serious they should schedule the witnesses who might get eaten by another witness (not naming names) first.
Crank: This is why I couldn’t be a syndicated cartoonist; I complain about petty annoyances, sure, but I don’t think I could maintain my grievances long enough to do an entire week of strips about “How dare this happen to
memy author avatar!”DT: “Dammit, if the guy wearing a mask isn’t this guy who wears a different mask, then I’m all out of ideas!”
JP: “Neddy’s no stranger! Well, she’s no stranger than anyone else in this family, anyway!”
MW: I keep remembering how when I was a kid we had a pair of lovebirds. And they seemed to get on fine until one day Maw Broon came downstairs and discovered one had attacked and killed the other during the night. We never figured out why. I’m not saying I want that to happen to Sunny and Rosie, but at least it would be something happening in this alleged story.
S4th: Not sure Ralph’s maths adds up there. Let’s say it takes the Forths two hours to get to the cabin. If it takes Ralph and Jackie one hour, Ralph gets an hour of travel, plus an hour in the cabin before they arrive, for two hours of not dealing with Ted. If it takes them three hours, then he gets to spend all three of those hours not dealing with Ted!
WoI: The other notable difference between the 2026 and 2015 versions of “the wizard gets into football” is that in 2026, he complains that they aren’t riding brooms and adds a couple of other generic magicky things (enchanted animals and fire). In 2015, he complained that they aren’t riding brooms and that the ball doesn’t have wings, which is kind of suggestive of One Specific Magical Sport. We’ve reached the point where legacy newspaper comics will avoid invoking that franchise if at all possible!
@Her Father, John Darling: #78: Bill Murray era of SNL, are you kidding? A true plugger says SNL hasn’t been any good since Chevy Chase left.
@Old School Allie Cat: (a Garoodoodle?)
____________________
Isnt that the line of children’s wear that Plugger children use to match outfits?
@Ettorre: “Mythbusters” has shown that taking candy from a baby, is actually much more difficult than one would think.
Wizard of ID-She still regrets the day she showed that Gertie woman her first NASCAR race.
@Ukulele Ike:
I take my brandy without coffee.
Josh, what have you done? The logical conclusion of your observation is that each one of us, every single one, is a Plugger! There’s no hope for us now!!
Even putting aside the euphemism “vending machine,” I am horrified by the fact that Max has to pay money — real, paper money, not just a coin — just to use the freaking bathroom.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I am posting this verbatim at GoComics.
@Anonymous: and she couldn’t start working at the event center/restaurant her parents bought because… what the heck was the reason that Luann is not more involved with the Fuse stuff?
Luann’s not involved with the Fuse because her parents know better than to trust her with anything. Just letting her have a key to the place directly led to it being robbed.
Wizard of Id – It’s not enough that the NFL moved into the NBA’s formerly exclusive Christmas Day sports broadcasting spot, now they must occupy anachronistic time slots as well.
Slylock Fox – Josh – “[Y]ears ago I was a juror on an honest to god drug conspiracy case in Baltimore, and there were significantly fewer witnesses than this”
Slick Smitty would do well to watch The Wire, which the drug conspirators in Josh’s case no doubt watched. Smitty could learn about reducing his legal risk, including such lessons as not taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. Maybe when he gets out of prison he could check out Hank’s Thrift Store for a DVD box-set of the series to shoplift.
Pluggers –
@BigTed:
The difference between Phil Connors and Pluggers is that Phil eventually manages to find ways in the monotonous cycle of samsara to better himself, reconnect with humanity, let go of his past attachments of his ego, and eventually escape the temporal trap he’s found himself in. Pluggers, meanwhile, are stuck both in a boring present and a version of the past that never really existed.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Sid, is that groundhog in Six Chicks yours? He’s seeing a hell of lot more than his shadow. (I hope, if he is a client, psychological help is covered by the medical plan you have. You do have a medical plan, right?)
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Does anyone else think it’s a bad idea for a medieval wizard to “put his entire soul” into something …
It’s not a good idea, no, but let’s let it ride. The consequences could be hilarious. Or terrifying. Either way, it should be interesting.
Wonder what Mr. Wilson’s reaction is to the conversation between Margaret and Dennis. He hates both those little rugrats, which is why he’s keeping his back to them.
Slylock Fox: On next week’s court docket will be the murder of a Bird by a Bear while waiting for Jury Duty. Also, judging from that Rabbit, the Cat is looking at something wholly inappropriate on that smart phone.
@Philip: I bet that the animal running the thrift store, sees these shows as “primitive human filth” and has them heavily marked down.
Smitty would be stealing a box-set that’s about five dollars.
@Bryan:
Yeah, but it was important because Tara was in need and she’s Luann’s good friend because….
…Why does Luann consider Tara a friend again? She’s just this weird juvenile delinquent who showed up in her life with a “Hey, I know Bernice Halper too!”, and they don’t seem to like each other or get along very much or even hang out (outside of class) all that often?
We offer our heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Mouse for dressing appropriately for court. One does suppose, however, that mice are color-blind, which is the only possible explanation for his choosing to wear fuchsia.
@Dr. Pill: re 6Cx: You are correct, Doc. Both of those actors are my clients, two of the few Groundhogs who got work today. And you notice they didn’t even use the G-word – just made a vague reference to “shadow.” Now please don’t think the “patient” here is in any psychological distress – it’s all ACTING. And of course we have a full-coverage medical plan that’s sets the standard for the industry! Even includes dental, a big selling point for our Rodentia clients.
MW: Hey, Intern! Didja notice that The Ladies put McQueen to work already? Yeah, they bought the ruse that she’s an exotic, rare Pink Butterfly! heh heh heh I don’t think they’ll notice she’s actually an ordinary, although talented, Southern Pink Moth! From the neighboring city of Taft! As long as she keeps her antennae waxed, no one will be the wiser!
@The Rambling Otter: They only showed it is difficult if you are unwilling to use violence
PLUGGERS: So this Plugger has found an oldies station that plays songs from the sixties and seventies instead of songs from the eighties and nineties. Congratulations to the Plugger. I gave up searching for that station and now I sing to myself in the car. Though not that song.
MW: Here comes Mary’s victory lap, deserved or not. At least Sunny got his well-deserved one first.
GT: Funny how Gil baulks at paying the tuition for that artsy-fartsy film school Jami wants to go to but he’s ready to plunk down the money for a Vette for his barely driving age age daughter, not to mention the astronomical insurance costs. Well, Keri’s the star athlete, Jami isn’t. Gil puts his money on the sure pony.
GT: At least they’re showing a little financial restraint. That’s the bland 4th generation 1980s Corvette body style, the least collectable amongst enthusiasts.
@Peanut Gallery: Awesome. I love how you converted Abundio from a victim to a conspirator.
@Old School Allie Cat: There’s a “Gus the Groundhog” who’s the mascot for the PA lottery. Maybe there was a copyright dispute with Pluggers? Sid, do you have any information on this?
@Poteet: #106: Our classic rock station here in Houston covers roughly the British invasion era to the grunge era of the early 90s, all hard rock, no top 40 pop. We also have one that plays specifically the 80s, serious rock and top 40.
MT: Next time, Cherry, don’t ask.
MW: That looks like a hallucination butterfly, but of course the parrots seem partly-hallucinated as well. I actually checked online, not that I’m proud of it, to see how actual owners of free-flying parrots handle the poop, and learned that some parrots can be “potty-trained.” Don’t ask.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Far out!
@matt w:
Oh, trust me, they get up. I cook their breakfast. If anyone will defy a snowstorm for scrambled eggs, bacon and grits, it is THEY.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Yeah, I’m not looking it up, but what does a 76 (or so?) Vette rock these days? Fuck you, limpdick film kid!
SLYLOCK: I’m with the bear. A drooling egret is just gross.
@ValdVin: #66: re-GT: Let me tell you a story about auto insurance rates. Back in my dental lab days one of our dentist-client’s assistants hit the jackpot on the dollar slots at one of the Louisiana casinos. Her prize was $25,000 AND a Dodge Viper. After the publicity photos with the handing over of the giant check she was whisked up to the casino office where an IRS man explained her tax liability. If she chose to keep the Viper she would basically have to hand the $25,000 over to the government. Out of curiosity she phoned her insurance agent in Houston and asked what it would cost to insure a Viper. Even though the car was free she couldn’t afford it. She asked the casino managers if she could just have the car’s cash value instead. They said no because they already paid the Dodge dealer in Lake Charles for it. She called the dealer and he agreed to buy it back for the wholesale price he paid Chrysler (a little over $50,000) but she had to have it brought in on a flatbed tow truck so no additional miles were put on it. As a final note he did let her take a spin in his personal Viper so she’d get the experience.
Pluggers-“If I could turn back time.”
Most preschools have at least some expensive electronics these days, so I have to assume Smitty was aiming to steal the milk specifically. Probably thirsty because he blew his entire grocery budget on hair gel.
@The Rambling Otter:
Cheese brownies… there’s Baja’s next Late Thread Cuisine!
Cheddar Cheese Brownies
@Hibbleton: The whole “Got Milk?” thing is a dog whistle to white supremacy. Lactose intolerance.
Pluggers: Pluggers are lucky if they live through the night. Though if I woke up to the strains of “I got You Babe” I would presume I died and went to hell.
WoI: Dang, Wiz is getting frisky with the wife and all that gets longer is his left arm?
@I speak Jive:
Hopefully she’s absent next time because she got hit by a car
Late Thread Cuisine: Why don’t her parents let Luann work at their restaurant? She’d make something like this when someone ordered a garden salad.
@richardf8: Thanks! One of my basic principles is “make Don Abundio look bad.” Or, even worse than he looks already.
@Baja Gaijin:
Sandwich cake, how, uhm, interesting. Say that looks like a nice cup of tea with lemon and some mixed nuts.
@Baja Gaijin:
Dare I ask what the “frosting” is?
@A Grave Mind: I hope it’s because she’s taking drawing lessons, but she’d probably flunk out.
That strip last week with the girl with enormous earrings devouring ribs like a hyena on the Serengetti was one of the worst drawings I have ever seen. To produce such a half assed drawing shows real contempt for readers. She didn’t care enough to do an even halfway decent job.
@Baja Gaijin: Cuisine – All that mayonnaise slathered all over it! That’s an invitation to vomiting, diarrhea, or both.
I do like the serving dishes and the teacup.
9CL: He’s quite the contortionist.
@Baja Gaijin: Just tell someone it is a cake, so when they bite into it, hilarity ensues!
@126 Deadly Goon Bugs: That’s not cake! It’s a round Italian bread loaf.
@127 A Grave Mind: The “frosting’s” cream cheese with enough cream to make it spreadable on the bread.
@128 I speak Jive: You can tell it’s not mayonnaise frosting because Wilbur Weston’s hand isn’t grabbing at the, uh, “sandwich.” Eating it is an invitation to vomiting, diarrhea, and both.
@130 Dr. Pill: How to explain the olive slices staring lifelessly into their soul?
@Baja Gaijin: Cream cheese? That’s as bad as mayonnaise. (I do like cream cheese frosting on carrot cake, but spread all over sandwiches? Nope.)
@Anonymous: LUANN: And remember how Luann faced zero consequences for her role in things? And before that, when Luann caught Bernice blatantly spying on and following her, and just brushed the whole thing off? These characters act like doormats so that there’s no chance of upsetting the status quo. If I found out my friend/roommate had secretly followed me around town so they could do a big “HA, I CAUGHT YOU” confrontation, I’d tell them to move the fuck out of my house by the end of the day.
@133 I speak Jive: You may not want to read what the sandwich fillings are:
@Baja Gaijin: DO NOT push olive slices into the SIDE of the sandwich cake. Top ONLY.
That one olive slice is there only because the cook had an odd olive slice left over.
What you do with the odd olive slice is, you put it into a tumbler with some ice and fill with gin. Splash of dry vermouth optional. Drink the chilled gin in an expedient manner, then eat the olive slice.
@I speak Jive: #128- They should have shown that strip to Johnny!
@Baja Gaijin: honestly, those sound like pretty reasonable sandwich fillings. Put them in finger sandwiches and I’m all over that. Looking a bit askance at forcing those together, and *really* looking down at the cream cheese coating. The *point* of sandwiches is portability / eating from the hand.
@Bryan:
a) Luann reacting to Bernice threatening to narc on her hiding Tara in her bedroom by getting Tara to hide in the Fuse’s pantry instead is just the perfect example of how Luann reacts to petty authority, which explains why she’s just going to sit in silence listening to Mrs Fogarty ramble about her career as the #1 mermaid porn co-author
*instead of just walking out of that useless class, or, *GASP* interrupting Mrs Fogarty with a question/request to get to the point.b) Bernice treating the house in which she’s merely a guest as a place she can police, immediately after losing her status as an R.A.; yeah, she totally lost her position because of restructuring/budget cuts, definitely not complaints she was abusing her position!
*I’d be gladly proven wrong, and that Luann DOES react and intervene. (not counting if it’s Tara or Les who pipe up)Pluggers:
You know it’s not the radio. The Plugger asked his grandson to set and alarm on his phone several years ago. It’s went off at the same time with the same song ever since. The Plugger has forgotten why that happened.
Why did the Wizard make his wife’s neck disappear?
@Baja Gaijin: Nope. Double nope on the curry, which I dislike intensely.
I agree with@CanuckDownSouth: in principle – that would be messy to eat, with the cream cheese mixture all over it.
@136 Ukulele Ike: That one olive slice was leading the way for the rest to escape the cream cheese they’re mired in. If only time hadn’t run out.
@138 CanuckDownSouth: The recipe states that “sandwich” provides 12 servings. Seriously. Out of the small loaf of bread.
@141 GarrisonSkunk: I was going to make a crack about “deep throat” and someone not being able to go “deep” but felt it would be tasteless.
@142 I speak Jive: Maybe this recipe was sponsored by Tide laundry detergent?
JP: I appreciate Ann reminding readers why some of us won’t miss her at all if her former crime associates manage to find her and she ends up sleeping with the fishes for being a snitch.
The Wiz is clearly a Raiders fan, and given his newly found propensity for using profanity, he’s gonna fit right in …
Slylock is glancing at the witness room, where Max is just waving around money. He isn’t supposed to be in there at all! Will Slylock notify the judge that his assistant appears to be bribing witnesses?
@Anonymous: Bernice’s BS “budget cuts” thing never explained why her dorm room was ever at risk in the first place, considering she was there on a full-ride scholarship. I still maintain that she got booted from the dorms for her stalking and other abuse of power, and she was just lying to save face with Luann.
@Anonymous: Bernice’s BS “budget cuts” thing never explained why her dorm room was ever at risk in the first place, considering she was there on a full-ride scholarship. I still maintain that she got booted from the dorms for her stalking and other abuse of power, and she was just lying to save face with Luann.
Slylock: Just to make it easy for you, the caption calls out the witnesses in the correct order.