Josh gets cranky
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Shoe, 2/22/26

One of the ways that doing this blog over two decades has turned me into an actual insane person is that I feel obligated to speak up for strip lore that the strip’s creators and/or hired-hand continuators have forgotten. For instance, the way the Shoeniverse traditionally worked is that the bird characters ate lunch at Roz’s, which is an open air diner on a tree branch, and complained about the cooking, and in the evenings got drunk at a fern bar, which is a building with a roof on it, and tried to have sex with one another. Lately, though, it seems like the locations are getting conflated and there are more and more strips where the characters are getting drunk at Roz’s, and I don’t care for it. I’ve been consoling myself with the idea that these are still daytime strips and the bird characters are just so depressed these days that they’re openly getting blotto at lunch, but the dialogue here establishes this as an evening recreational drinking binge, so my concerns are clearly justified.
Judge Parker, 2/22/26

Oh, man, remember how April disappeared and then Randy went off to rescue her and also disappeared? Well, now it looks like she is gonna end up rescuing him, ha ha! Boy, he’s never going to hear the end of this, or maybe, due to his proximity to this massive explosion, he’s never going to hear anything ever again.
Pluggers, 2/22/26

YOU, AN ETERNAL OPTIMIST: Ahh, even cranky old pluggers can still enjoy moments of childlike whimsy.
ME, AT AGE 51 BECOMING MORE AND MORE AN ACTUAL PLUGGER BY THE DAY: Oh god, look at how they’re lying on that uneven ground without any cushions or anything. Look at how she’s propping herself up awkwardly on her elbow. They’re going to be in pain for days! They’re not even going to be able to walk back to their car!


55 replies to “Josh gets cranky”
Judge Parker:
WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO
“Wow. Someone’s doing a Del Shannon chorus out there!”
JP: That’s some explosion. It blew all the melatonin off the warden.
Pluggers:
“That one looks like us! — fundamentally shapeless, and just kind of drifting aimlessly, and without a rudder, from instant to instant.”
FC-“We know what you’re doing in there, Mommy.”
MW-“A cat that I could pet while laughing manically.”
RMMD-She wishes one of her ex-husbands still loved her enough to pretend to be the butler.
RMMD-If Hef was still alive he would pay for pictures of the maid.
Slylock Fox-Kids today have no idea what an incandescent light is.
Judge Parker:
“When April Bower may come your way….”
— Al Jolson, Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, etc. (adapted)
Judge Parker:
Dead bodies lying around, with the signature “legs sticking out” montage. Just another day at the shop for this strip.
MW: “Yes, I’ve always wanted an orange cat that would love lasagna and hate Mondays.”
Phantom:
“We’ve been nothing but nice to the guy, and all he wants to do is to get out of here?!? — we should throw him back in the water from whence he came!”*
*Queen Bandarontherun, in the Bandar tongue
I honestly love that Shoe is still sticking it to Tip O’Neill in year of our bird lord 2026. He did like to hit the sauce, didn’t he! Ha ha, that’s probably why he’s been dead for over 30 years.
MW: So, they’re apparently doing the “Mary gets a cat” thing, proving right all of the commenters here who said the strip has completely lost it. Though I’m mildly intrigued by Mary insisting on the hypoallergenic cat for Jeff’s sake, since it suggests Jeff spends more time at her apartment than we’ve ever been shown.
Shoe:
Wow. This is just like The Thomas Crown Affair.
Nah. Not really.
@Bob Tice: All the upvotes, man. We are not worthy.
JP: Why does April need the enormous bomb? This is a Scandinavian prison we’re talking about! They probably let you in through the front door if you ask nicely!
Shoe: I’m assuming that we’re not seeing Roz here because she’s off getting a can of kerosine and a book of matches to delouse cafe, and maybe the whole town, of these vermin.
JP: What’s funny about this strip is that in a moth’s time we’re going to have a scene of Katherine trying to figure out what to make for dinner that is going to be presented with the same gravity.
Pluggers Yeah, if there’s one generation that is all about enjoying the simple whimsical pleasures of life, it’s the Plugger one…
RMMD: Unhappy fat woman returns to home town where, thanks to June Morgan’s Boot Camp, she acquires a socially acceptable body type. Then (and only then) does she find love where she least expected it. Brought to you by Hallmark and Weight Watchers.
PLUGGERS: Wouldn’t animals see people-shaped clouds?
SHOE: At first glance, Birdie Supreme Court came to mind.
CS: That wasn’t Crankshaft’s reaction the many times he himself caused the ice sculptures to melt, through his own malicious incompetence.
Luann: So…. Luann’s going to poop on the floor?
JP: My nominee for throwaway panel of the year.
Pluggers: Should you really tell a dog-man you see a bunny rabbit in the sky? He’ll be chasing it for hours, but never, ever catch it.
I’ll believe those two are actual Pluggers if they start ranting about chemtrails.
JP: Every time I think, this couldn’t get any stupider, Marciuliano says, “Hold my beer.”
Pluggers: Pluggers have fallen and can’t get up. But at least they can watch the clouds until help comes.
Pluggers are too intellectually stunted to visualize the profile of Thomas Eakins or the Stoning of St. Stephen in the clouds like kids of yore.
My headcanon is that Judge Parker exists in the Idiocracy timeline. The main cast succeeds because they’re not self-destructively stupid, merely ordinary stupid people from the distant past. In other words, Judge Parker is basically Gasoline Alley.
Mary Worth Mashups: I didn’t like the final panel. Do you like any of the linked new final panels hit ya in the funny bone?
RMMD: Lorna Starr was once a world-famous Roots Country singer. I wonder if she will do a cover of Muddy Boots?
Luann: Because you were too busy stuffing your face with donut holes to take the dog out to pee.
MW I’m sure I said it the last time that last panel was used, but with the demarcation line on Mary’s right upper arm, she is clearly patting herself on the back while intimacy-starved Dr Jeff dramatically hugs his own right arm to left shoulder. Maybe… Jeff thinks maybe if she’s distracted holding a pet I’ll be able to actually lean in and touch her…
meanwhile Judge Parker and Dick Tracy are fiercely battling for Stupidest Prison Escape. We’ve got nobody noticed the skidoo across the bare icy plain versus the Russian mercenaries got a freakin’ *tank* onto US soil…
MW: Mary gets a cat. The Mrs. Slocombe level of pussy jokes just writes themselves.
@Deadly Goon Bugs: More likely an Appletini
@Baja Gaijin: falling AC unit, definitely. It’s now a Mary Worth classic
@Banana Jr. 6000: Has he ever actually caused them to melt? I thought his malicious incompetence usually consisted of slicing them up with a chainsaw or crashing into them with his school bus.
JP: Apparently this super-secret, super-remote prison in some former Soviet wasteland was manned by all of four people: The warden, the guard currently babbling like an idiot, and the two that broke up Randy’s meet cute with Santa Clause, who now appear to be really most sincerely dead. Are we even sure there were even any other inmates at this places beyond Randy and Santa?
RMMD: Ah, she’s off to visit her long-lost Uncle/Grandpa/Whatever, Truck Tyler, so they can reminisce on the Thinkin’ Bench!
Luann: Yes, Evansii, treating yourself to another donut hole is just like urinating on the floor. [facepalm meme]
SFx: This is obviously another one of Count Weirdly’s scams. His so-called time machine looks nothing like a Delorean.
RMMD: Starkey as her cover name as a maid would be cool so probably not .
@Baja Gaijin: All three of them would have been a better ending than the real strip.
Marvin: Not sure what the message is here. Have fun pissing all over everything now, Marvin. One day you’ll be too weak to piss in anything but a bedpan.
FC: “We’re thirsty and couldn’t find Daddy.”
[Voice from the shower] “I’m here! Oops”
Wary Morth:
Orange cat?
She wants an orange cat?
Garfield, Heathcliff, Bill the Cat, and Hobbes are drawing straws to see who ends up with the short one.
@The Quiet Man:
Luann: Yes, Evansii, treating yourself to another donut hole is just like urinating on the floor. [facepalm meme]
You know, we compare this strip to Dustin a lot, but I don’t know if it would ever make the same equation.
“DustinDad pigging out on those donuts in the breakroom is the same as if he shat himself” is just not something I see that strip ever getting into.
@Baja Gaijin: I hope the shark doesn’t get food poisoning from eating these toxic people.
Sherman’s Lagoon:
At least the coelacanth knows how to hold a phone, unlike anyone in Mary Worth.
RMMD – When you wish for Lorna Starr / Makes no difference who you are / Any pic your heart desires / Will come to you…dressed as a maid
You are a Plugger if you cannot enjoy a moment of childish wonder without sticking it to the so called experts! Weather forecasters are the most arrogant members of the coastal elite!
@Ukranazi Stepan:
I remember that the “Garfield 40th anniversary” special “Graphic Novel”* has an “interview” with Garfield where he is asked the question “Which other comic on the funnies page would you like to work with?”, to which he replies “Mary Worth. That old biddy could be a lotta fun.”
So I don’t think he would be that reluctant to do it.
*It’s more of a compilation album with a bunch of articles/guest art.
@Dan: Upvotes that this site doesn’t have (would sure make the comments of the week post a little fairer, huh?) for pointing out exactly what I was gonna say!
@Dan: Upvotes that this site doesn’t have (would sure make the comments of the week post a little fairer, huh?) for pointing out exactly what I was gonna say!
Pluggers reject the labelling of woke weatherman.
@Anonymous: If it did, it would probably be Dustin’s Wilburesque buddy Mitch who craps themselves while DustDad gives his typical condescending reaction to his wife’s side eye with his mouth full of a gigantic Boston Creme long john.
You are a Plugger if you still say “Bunny Rabbit”, at least with your fellow Pluggers, even though the B-word is the N-word for Rabbit Pluggers
JP – To answer your question in the penultimate panel, I’m going to say none.
The proposal to scientifically classify clouds based on their resemblance to rabbits did not pass peer review. That’s why there are no Plugger scientists!
What crime did these Norwegian guards commit to deserve being blown up? Well, Norway should not have surpassed the USA in the medal count at the Winter Olympics!
Slylock Fox is not watching the world’s first telephone call because Count Weirdly is a Phillipp Reis truther.
Dustin: I appreciate the way Kelley and Parker show certain amounts of bare nude sculpture in pnael two. But shouldn’t they have covered up the blatant kajigger in that last panel? Sure, it’s abstract, but we all know what we’re looking at.
H&L: “College”, Ditto? You should know better about Chip. And while you’re at it, how about you get a head start on your own reasonable expectations?
Why does Gasoline Alley go with Washington? It’s the Franklin Pierce of legacy comics, after all.
DtM: Mr. Wilson carping about technology making things go downhill, while reading a newspaper? Wait until he discovers the telegraph.
Crankshaft: Yes, the third day of the ice carving festival is sad. So why does this look like the fondant festival was left out in the sun?
Beetle Bailey: Sarge should be in the Quartermaster Corps.
A&J: This is a nice nod to Bill Watterson.
MW – So Mary wants to get an orange “cat”? Maybe a few piercings and some tattoos as well? This strip continues to evolve, albeit slowly.
@30 CanuckDownSouth: Flaming falling air conditioner!
@The Quiet Man: There was one year where Crankshaft backs up his bus next to the ice sculptures and melts them somehow.
On a personal note: You and I have been talking about shyness in the context of Luann. I have a post on another blog about shyness in the context of Funky Winkerbean. It’s a window into my own struggles with shyness, and why an incompetent portrayal of shyness in FW angered me so much. I was thinking you might find it beneficial.
JP: Oh, it’s so cute how the strip is trying to pretend we don’t already know it’s April doing the slo-mo action walk through the hole she just blasted in the prison wall! Kind of like a four-year-old with a mouth covered in chocolate trying to pretend they weren’t sneaking cookies.
(Caveat: If Randy calls the rescuer “April” before her identity has been revealed, then all bets are off because it will almost certainly not be April. Randy’s idiocy trumps everything else.)
Pluggers have reached the stage in life where childlike behavior isn’t “whimsical and fun” so much as it is “signs of incipient dementia.”