Josh gets cranky
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Shoe, 2/22/26
One of the ways that doing this blog over two decades has turned me into an actual insane person is that I feel obligated to speak up for strip lore that the strip’s creators and/or hired-hand continuators have forgotten. For instance, the way the Shoeniverse traditionally worked is that the bird characters ate lunch at Roz’s, which is an open air diner on a tree branch, and complained about the cooking, and in the evenings got drunk at a fern bar, which is a building with a roof on it, and tried to have sex with one another. Lately, though, it seems like the locations are getting conflated and there are more and more strips where the characters are getting drunk at Roz’s, and I don’t care for it. I’ve been consoling myself with the idea that these are still daytime strips and the bird characters are just so depressed these days that they’re openly getting blotto at lunch, but the dialogue here establishes this as an evening recreational drinking binge, so my concerns are clearly justified.
Judge Parker, 2/22/26
Oh, man, remember how April disappeared and then Randy went off to rescue her and also disappeared? Well, now it looks like she is gonna end up rescuing him, ha ha! Boy, he’s never going to hear the end of this, or maybe, due to his proximity to this massive explosion, he’s never going to hear anything ever again.
Pluggers, 2/22/26
YOU, AN ETERNAL OPTIMIST: Ahh, even cranky old pluggers can still enjoy moments of childlike whimsy.
ME, AT AGE 51 BECOMING MORE AND MORE AN ACTUAL PLUGGER BY THE DAY: Oh god, look at how they’re lying on that uneven ground without any cushions or anything. Look at how she’s propping herself up awkwardly on her elbow. They’re going to be in pain for days! They’re not even going to be able to walk back to their car!
186 replies to “Josh gets cranky”
Judge Parker:
WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO
“Wow. Someone’s doing a Del Shannon chorus out there!”
JP: That’s some explosion. It blew all the melatonin off the warden.
Pluggers:
“That one looks like us! — fundamentally shapeless, and just kind of drifting aimlessly, and without a rudder, from instant to instant.”
FC-“We know what you’re doing in there, Mommy.”
MW-“A cat that I could pet while laughing manically.”
RMMD-She wishes one of her ex-husbands still loved her enough to pretend to be the butler.
RMMD-If Hef was still alive he would pay for pictures of the maid.
Slylock Fox-Kids today have no idea what an incandescent light is.
Judge Parker:
“When April Bower may come your way….”
— Al Jolson, Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, etc. (adapted)
Judge Parker:
Dead bodies lying around, with the signature “legs sticking out” montage. Just another day at the shop for this strip.
MW: “Yes, I’ve always wanted an orange cat that would love lasagna and hate Mondays.”
Phantom:
“We’ve been nothing but nice to the guy, and all he wants to do is to get out of here?!? — we should throw him back in the water from whence he came!”*
*Queen Bandarontherun, in the Bandar tongue
I honestly love that Shoe is still sticking it to Tip O’Neill in year of our bird lord 2026. He did like to hit the sauce, didn’t he! Ha ha, that’s probably why he’s been dead for over 30 years.
MW: So, they’re apparently doing the “Mary gets a cat” thing, proving right all of the commenters here who said the strip has completely lost it. Though I’m mildly intrigued by Mary insisting on the hypoallergenic cat for Jeff’s sake, since it suggests Jeff spends more time at her apartment than we’ve ever been shown.
Shoe:
Wow. This is just like The Thomas Crown Affair.
Nah. Not really.
@Bob Tice: All the upvotes, man. We are not worthy.
JP: Why does April need the enormous bomb? This is a Scandinavian prison we’re talking about! They probably let you in through the front door if you ask nicely!
Shoe: I’m assuming that we’re not seeing Roz here because she’s off getting a can of kerosine and a book of matches to delouse cafe, and maybe the whole town, of these vermin.
JP: What’s funny about this strip is that in a moth’s time we’re going to have a scene of Katherine trying to figure out what to make for dinner that is going to be presented with the same gravity.
Pluggers Yeah, if there’s one generation that is all about enjoying the simple whimsical pleasures of life, it’s the Plugger one…
RMMD: Unhappy fat woman returns to home town where, thanks to June Morgan’s Boot Camp, she acquires a socially acceptable body type. Then (and only then) does she find love where she least expected it. Brought to you by Hallmark and Weight Watchers.
PLUGGERS: Wouldn’t animals see people-shaped clouds?
SHOE: At first glance, Birdie Supreme Court came to mind.
CS: That wasn’t Crankshaft’s reaction the many times he himself caused the ice sculptures to melt, through his own malicious incompetence.
Luann: So…. Luann’s going to poop on the floor?
JP: My nominee for throwaway panel of the year.
Pluggers: Should you really tell a dog-man you see a bunny rabbit in the sky? He’ll be chasing it for hours, but never, ever catch it.
I’ll believe those two are actual Pluggers if they start ranting about chemtrails.
JP: Every time I think, this couldn’t get any stupider, Marciuliano says, “Hold my beer.”
Pluggers: Pluggers have fallen and can’t get up. But at least they can watch the clouds until help comes.
Pluggers are too intellectually stunted to visualize the profile of Thomas Eakins or the Stoning of St. Stephen in the clouds like kids of yore.
My headcanon is that Judge Parker exists in the Idiocracy timeline. The main cast succeeds because they’re not self-destructively stupid, merely ordinary stupid people from the distant past. In other words, Judge Parker is basically Gasoline Alley.
Mary Worth Mashups: I didn’t like the final panel. Do you like any of the linked new final panels hit ya in the funny bone?
RMMD: Lorna Starr was once a world-famous Roots Country singer. I wonder if she will do a cover of Muddy Boots?
Luann: Because you were too busy stuffing your face with donut holes to take the dog out to pee.
MW I’m sure I said it the last time that last panel was used, but with the demarcation line on Mary’s right upper arm, she is clearly patting herself on the back while intimacy-starved Dr Jeff dramatically hugs his own right arm to left shoulder. Maybe… Jeff thinks maybe if she’s distracted holding a pet I’ll be able to actually lean in and touch her…
meanwhile Judge Parker and Dick Tracy are fiercely battling for Stupidest Prison Escape. We’ve got nobody noticed the skidoo across the bare icy plain versus the Russian mercenaries got a freakin’ *tank* onto US soil…
MW: Mary gets a cat. The Mrs. Slocombe level of pussy jokes just writes themselves.
@Deadly Goon Bugs: More likely an Appletini
@Baja Gaijin: falling AC unit, definitely. It’s now a Mary Worth classic
@Banana Jr. 6000: Has he ever actually caused them to melt? I thought his malicious incompetence usually consisted of slicing them up with a chainsaw or crashing into them with his school bus.
JP: Apparently this super-secret, super-remote prison in some former Soviet wasteland was manned by all of four people: The warden, the guard currently babbling like an idiot, and the two that broke up Randy’s meet cute with Santa Clause, who now appear to be really most sincerely dead. Are we even sure there were even any other inmates at this places beyond Randy and Santa?
RMMD: Ah, she’s off to visit her long-lost Uncle/Grandpa/Whatever, Truck Tyler, so they can reminisce on the Thinkin’ Bench!
Luann: Yes, Evansii, treating yourself to another donut hole is just like urinating on the floor. [facepalm meme]
SFx: This is obviously another one of Count Weirdly’s scams. His so-called time machine looks nothing like a Delorean.
RMMD: Starkey as her cover name as a maid would be cool so probably not .
@Baja Gaijin: All three of them would have been a better ending than the real strip.
Marvin: Not sure what the message is here. Have fun pissing all over everything now, Marvin. One day you’ll be too weak to piss in anything but a bedpan.
FC: “We’re thirsty and couldn’t find Daddy.”
[Voice from the shower] “I’m here! Oops”
Wary Morth:
Orange cat?
She wants an orange cat?
Garfield, Heathcliff, Bill the Cat, and Hobbes are drawing straws to see who ends up with the short one.
@The Quiet Man:
Luann: Yes, Evansii, treating yourself to another donut hole is just like urinating on the floor. [facepalm meme]
You know, we compare this strip to Dustin a lot, but I don’t know if it would ever make the same equation.
“DustinDad pigging out on those donuts in the breakroom is the same as if he shat himself” is just not something I see that strip ever getting into.
@Baja Gaijin: I hope the shark doesn’t get food poisoning from eating these toxic people.
Sherman’s Lagoon:
At least the coelacanth knows how to hold a phone, unlike anyone in Mary Worth.
RMMD – When you wish for Lorna Starr / Makes no difference who you are / Any pic your heart desires / Will come to you…dressed as a maid
You are a Plugger if you cannot enjoy a moment of childish wonder without sticking it to the so called experts! Weather forecasters are the most arrogant members of the coastal elite!
@Ukranazi Stepan:
I remember that the “Garfield 40th anniversary” special “Graphic Novel”* has an “interview” with Garfield where he is asked the question “Which other comic on the funnies page would you like to work with?”, to which he replies “Mary Worth. That old biddy could be a lotta fun.”
So I don’t think he would be that reluctant to do it.
*It’s more of a compilation album with a bunch of articles/guest art.
@Dan: Upvotes that this site doesn’t have (would sure make the comments of the week post a little fairer, huh?) for pointing out exactly what I was gonna say!
@Dan: Upvotes that this site doesn’t have (would sure make the comments of the week post a little fairer, huh?) for pointing out exactly what I was gonna say!
Pluggers reject the labelling of woke weatherman.
@Anonymous: If it did, it would probably be Dustin’s Wilburesque buddy Mitch who craps themselves while DustDad gives his typical condescending reaction to his wife’s side eye with his mouth full of a gigantic Boston Creme long john.
You are a Plugger if you still say “Bunny Rabbit”, at least with your fellow Pluggers, even though the B-word is the N-word for Rabbit Pluggers
JP – To answer your question in the penultimate panel, I’m going to say none.
The proposal to scientifically classify clouds based on their resemblance to rabbits did not pass peer review. That’s why there are no Plugger scientists!
What crime did these Norwegian guards commit to deserve being blown up? Well, Norway should not have surpassed the USA in the medal count at the Winter Olympics!
Slylock Fox is not watching the world’s first telephone call because Count Weirdly is a Phillipp Reis truther.
Dustin: I appreciate the way Kelley and Parker show certain amounts of bare nude sculpture in pnael two. But shouldn’t they have covered up the blatant kajigger in that last panel? Sure, it’s abstract, but we all know what we’re looking at.
H&L: “College”, Ditto? You should know better about Chip. And while you’re at it, how about you get a head start on your own reasonable expectations?
Why does Gasoline Alley go with Washington? It’s the Franklin Pierce of legacy comics, after all.
DtM: Mr. Wilson carping about technology making things go downhill, while reading a newspaper? Wait until he discovers the telegraph.
Crankshaft: Yes, the third day of the ice carving festival is sad. So why does this look like the fondant festival was left out in the sun?
Beetle Bailey: Sarge should be in the Quartermaster Corps.
A&J: This is a nice nod to Bill Watterson.
MW – So Mary wants to get an orange “cat”? Maybe a few piercings and some tattoos as well? This strip continues to evolve, albeit slowly.
@30 CanuckDownSouth: Flaming falling air conditioner!
@The Quiet Man: There was one year where Crankshaft backs up his bus next to the ice sculptures and melts them somehow.
On a personal note: You and I have been talking about shyness in the context of Luann. I have a post on another blog about shyness in the context of Funky Winkerbean. It’s a window into my own struggles with shyness, and why an incompetent portrayal of shyness in FW angered me so much. I was thinking you might find it beneficial.
JP: Oh, it’s so cute how the strip is trying to pretend we don’t already know it’s April doing the slo-mo action walk through the hole she just blasted in the prison wall! Kind of like a four-year-old with a mouth covered in chocolate trying to pretend they weren’t sneaking cookies.
(Caveat: If Randy calls the rescuer “April” before her identity has been revealed, then all bets are off because it will almost certainly not be April. Randy’s idiocy trumps everything else.)
Pluggers have reached the stage in life where childlike behavior isn’t “whimsical and fun” so much as it is “signs of incipient dementia.”
BB: For whatever reason, this one reminds me of a newspaper article I read some years back about how U.S. soldiers are heavier today than at any point in the nation’s history. There were no specifics between body fat and muscle mass, but apparently mess halls decided to stop serving French (er, sorry, Freedom) fries to help soldiers lose a pound or two.
ZITS: If I ever had my own colorist, I’d still want some input on the process, if only to make sure the colors remain consistent from strip to strip. I always remembered Jeremy’s blanked to be purple (or some similar shade). But now, all of a sudden, he’s wrapped up in…what? Sandbags? Feces?
@Hibbleton: Oh, well done.
Lorna Starr is just like Norma Desmond, except fat instead of old. I can’t wait to see the contempo version of Max — probably based on 1990s Dieter from Sprockets.
”Miss Starr iss de greatest star of dem all…touch my monkey.”
@Baja Gaijin yesterday’s no 81:
A tentacle that phallic would kill Mary at the sight of it alone!
Mary Worth: The whole “allergies” issue is going to be a moot point when Dr. Jeff snaps his own neck, twisting to avoid Mary’s face and/or to scope out a hotter old biddy up the boardwalk as he is.
MW: This strip could take a page from Dick Tracy, and would be greatly improved by drone attacks during Sunday strips
Marvin: They managed to get through a whole week without poop or urine jokes, and well, here we are, second day in a row.
C’Shaft: An almost tolerable one panel comic, no obnoxious wordplay or characters going on and on about the history of comics, or Batiuk doing any more faux-history of his fictional comic publisher.
Dustin: Finally, some pointed commentary on selfies. Next, Dustin takes on timely subjects like the rise of cigar bars and holiday struggles to get those popular new Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls.
@TheDiva: I suppose maybe, just *maybe*, it’s CIApril’s mom Blythe Danner. That’s really the only other person we could have as a ‘what a twist!’ moment. Unless, that is, CIApril picked up her own Reena POC bestie during all that time she was off-panel and she was sent to do CIApril’s dirty work while she was layed up with a hands-cleaning ‘broken leg’ back at the safehouse.
P.S. I was also thinking yesterday that perhaps the last we see of Bogdan he’s back home in Whereever-stan getting a bear hug from his long-lost brother Wurst, but maybe that *is* Wurst dancing through the explosion, having finally gotten to the gym and dropped several pounds, and he’s here to rescue Bogdan instead. ‘You April’s husband? I not here for you! Die miserably, Americanski!’
BCN: Honestly, I wish my cats had this ability. Then maybe they’d be able to distinguish between “going into the pantry to get the kitty treat bag” and “going into the pantry for literally anything else.”
C’shaft: Yes there is. It’s called the “punchline” of a Crankshaft strip.
DT: Yes, when you’re sneaking up on a guy who’s holding a semi-automatic weapon that could turn you into Swiss cheese before you can get within choking distance, it’s important to crack your knuckles loudly so he knows you’re there.
Dustin: “Anyway, let’s go back to talking about how I, as a Middle-Aged White Man, am right about everything and anything that does not cater specifically to my needs and interests is stupid and probably immoral.”
MW: Orange cats are often depicted as being on the lower end of domestic feline intelligence, which means one will fit in perfectly with the Mary Worth cast.
RMMD: Forget it, Lorna. Even if you’re body-shamed into going back to your former weight you’re still over thirty, so Hollywood will want nothing to do with you.
Shoe – It’s AI-generated comic strip night! Seriously, would any human come up with this bizarre composition, in which the second panel is spilling over into the first? It even undermines the lame gag!
JP – “I think out front.” “Well, we’re supposed to be a secretive organization. Think in back!”
Pluggers – Plus, that plugger dog’s gonna be covered with ticks. Can chickens get ticks? I guess they’ll find out.
Don Abundio, translated:
“It’s pretty cold out, so I’ll let you train in your uniforms just this once”
“Thank you, Don Abundio! You’re so good to us!”
“I’m sure glad we don’t have to run laps in bikinis today!”
Dustin: I’ve never been in an art museum where ancient, classical, non-western, romantic, and abstract sculpture were jumbled together in one room. Maybe it’s a real….small museum?
SCULPTURE ROOM — IF YOU LIKE STATUES, YOU’LL PROBABLY FIND SOMETHING GOOD IN HERE
“Ok, then who is the real senator Belfry?”
“No one, they are all tribute cosplayers. Don’t you remember? Senator Kennedy — Belfry, whatever — died almost twenty years ago! You really are drunk!”
A Plugger knows that although doctors might call this behavior a symptom of dementia, noise-canceling headphones can bring a few precious moments of peace and quiet.
Pluggers: Peanuts did it much better decades ago.
So, no Dick Tracy/Judge Parker crossover? Disappointed.
@Baja Gaijin: The flaming air conditioner!
JP: It’s Charlotte….from the FUTURE!
Purple Stripeypants Origin Story, v. 376: “Look, just get me to Philly. I can get pick up a bus there to Omaha.”
@Little Guy: “Peanuts did it much better decades ago” is like “Christ, what an asshole”: it suits any comics
Don’t know who the young lady Jeff is embracing in the last panel is, or where she came from, but she bears no resemblance to Mary. Good work, Jeff, now the story is getting interesting
RMMD: Just how many ex-wives does Truck have?
Maybe she was a hairdresser before going into showbiz, and will get back to her roots in Glenwood. Her hair looks marginally better than the other characters.
Phantom: All the passing ships know it’s YOU over there on the beach. Stop talkin’ and get walkin.’
@Banana Jr. 6000: I appreciate you sharing that. I was only a toddler at the time of your story*, but it still resonates. I guess my reading of those older strips is tainted by my following of FW since discovering this blog and seeing what an asshole Les was turned into and not being able to read the originals in real time.
I think I ought to disclose some more about myself. After about a year’s worth of therapy I’m finally on apps and have actually gone on dates. So far nothing has clicked where it’s lasted more than about a month in real time. I actually just went out yesterday with a woman who’s new to my area, was quite nice and seemed to share a specific interest, but I have a sneaking suspicion that our date wasn’t very stimulating (I didn’t want to just nerd out on one topic, so there were quiet stretches where I didn’t know what to talk about next and I felt it was too soon to broach the subject of what she may or may not desire of me physically) and she’s going to be conveniently ‘busy’ when I reach out and ask if she’d like to see me again.
Granted, that’s clearly more than Les ever did to earn anyone’s affection, but it’s still frustrating to think I still haven’t found the right balance between being the unthreatening, fairly uninteresting person a woman can just hang out with without being hit on, and, well… I can’t even find the words to describe it right now without making me sound like the *other* Les we know here on this blog or even [terrified shudder] *Wilbur*…
*As an adolescent I remember discovering Bloom County through their ominbus ‘Bloom County Babylon’ (with ‘Billy and the Boingers’ coming soon after) and thinking ‘this is *really good*!’
Just like when they were young, Pluggers believe that “you don’t need to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows”. To be fair, back then the meaning was SLIGHTLY different
MW: Not sure you will find “orange” and “hypoallergenic” as shared descriptors for any kind of pet cat—unless you’re talking about Mary dyeing her crotch the shade of a pumpkin and being less crotchety when it comes to Jeff petting her.
@65 Peanut Gallery: It’s a symbiotic relationship: plugger Dogman gets ticks, plugger ChickenWife pecks them off of him.
DT: So, did this one missle(?) from a drone somehow automatically open all the cell doors and the inmates are running rampant? Is there some sort of protocol where if the prison comes under attack the guards just summarily execute everyone instead of mounting any sort of defense?
Wait! That title panel. Why is that “Roz’s” sign pointing to a place with a door and window? Do customers have to go through that door then get to the actual restaurant part through a higher door, or can they just fly to the higher branches and the door is just an “Employees Only” situation? Damn it, this is all so confusing. This comic is for the birds.
***
“HOW MANY @#$%ING GUARDS DO WE HAVE OUT THERE?!?”
You’re in Norway, soooo… 3? You’re the damned warden, so you should know.
***
Pluggers also have ways to describe “experts” with their so-called educations. What, you think you’re better than them?
@MKay: Re: RMMD Yeah, going back to Shlubsville USA is really going to get this woman back into shape (The ‘Diner Slop’ diet works wonders!” Buck proclaims before hardening his arteries shoveling more chicken-fried lard down his gullet.)
Basically this sounds like it’s going to be a “Hot in Cleveland” scenario if all the funny and interesting parts were taking out.
@Charterstoned: The Siberian, Javanese, and Cornish Rex can have orangey colour fur and produce less of the usual allergen protein (why yes, I keep on googling to see just how bonkers this will get…)
MW What this strip really needs is for Mary to order a Sphinx cat but through a Galactic mail-order accident receive a baby Lying Cat
@Anonymous:
“Yeah, but I know who it does sound like!” proclaims Tom Armstrong as he grabs a pencil while the burst of inspiration for the next three days of strips is still fresh in his mind.
@CanuckDownSouth: I’m with you on the bonkers trajectory. Do you ever get the uncomfortable feeling that we readers are being tested by Moy to see just how far she can go?
@Baja Gaijin: Ha HA! and ewww.
Pluggers need an editor, that joke is longer than War and Peace.
@Charterstoned: Oh, all the time. Honestly, if Moy would lean in to her bonkers plots and just let the strip become Psychic Pet Action Hour, after a transition period of “these are the consistent new rules of the universe, suspend disbelief all ye who read here!” well, it wouldn’t be *good*, but it would be a lot more *entertaining*
I am going to hand it to Judge Parker. No expectations for the storyline but that last panel rocks. I hereby induct “Beparka’d April strides through the demolished prison gate” into the Soap Strip Panel Hall of Fame along with “Shootout on the Santa Royale docks,” “Margo Magee’s apocalyptic finger quotes,” and “Mark Trail destroys three yokels with one tree branch.”
[on further review, it was Lucy destroying the three yokels one with tree branch. I also wanted to induct a particular Rex Morgan facepalm but no way to find that needle in the haystack that is the 2200 Rex Morgan posts in the archives.]
@Baja Gaijin: All are great (as usual) torn between the last two. Rene is due for a come back. But the last one with the subtle swing set on the moon takes the prize!
@85 CanuckDownSouth: When no one’s looking, Wilbur’s going to color the cat with orange Magic Markers. He then eats the cat because they’re orange-scented markers.
@90 matt w: “…that joke is longer than War and Peace.” And just as funny.
@Little Guy: She works her way to the Principal’s office despatching the goons and Bogdan with barely any exertion. Randy is stunned and she says to him “come with me if you want to live.”
@93 treetown: I wondered if anyone’d notice the “Swingset on the Moon.” Now everyone knows when this panel was last used.
@MKay: RM: Hey! They stole that plot from a Mary Worth story back in the Sixties? Seventies? The woman’s name was Tina Small. Nice use of irony, guys.
@matt w: All that CIApril panel needs is a soundtrack of “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin.
DUSTIN: Dustin’s dad is such a downer whenever he goes into the Softcore Angles Gallery. (Curator: “Remember, here, all the bushes are outside the museum, so get those legs and hands in some awkward but strategically-placed positions, sculptors!”)
DUSTIN (2): You go, Dustin’s dad! Give them the business! That’s what those young whippersnappers get for having fun and enjoying themselves! (This incidentally is what I hate the most about Dustin‘s “Kids these days” griping that this comic is built on. Usually when other strips do this type of “Ok Boomer” commentary, it’s about something that—very mildly and slightly–inconveniences the character involved. None of these selfie sticks is impeding DustDad’s stroll through the “Naked Goddess” exhibit in anyway whatsoever, so his “issue” really does seem to be the joke(s) that Diva and I just described above and is just so mad that young people are out there…doing things)
Dustin (3): I mean Dustdad is so infuriated at all these young people ruining everything by trying to capture enjoyable memories they can share with loved ones, that he doesn’t even have time to criticize those immodest statues, sitting around the museum in all of their voluptuousness like a bunch of whores! Come on, dude, focus! Usually Mr. Kudlick is a lot more efficient with his pissy little nags! I guess 15 year old technology just really sets him off.
OTF: Did you know that pictures of big things use more bandwidth than pictures of smaller things? That’s just science!
Phantom: Huh, I guess the Walkers are Cornish, since they’re the only people who call the Channel the British Sea (Mor Bretennek). From now on Oi’ll be zure to imagine Stroipey a-talkin’ loike this, arr.
RMMD: “Boy, journalism’s really gone downhill since my cousin Brenda retired!”
SFx: It’s not usually clear what prompts these time-travel jaunts, but in this case I think it’s settling an argument between Sly and Weirdly. “I’ll show you, Fox. It was humans who invented the gadgets your so-called animal civilisation is built upon!” Slylock points out that Weirdly has failed to prove this, but in doing so betrays his own knowledge of the fact. (As a senior enforcer for the state, Slylock naturally has access to the true histories suppressed by Princess Pussycat.)
LUANN: Luann is as smart…and as housebroken as her dog, so I’ll allow the comparison.
Pluggers – Josh is right. They’ll be in pain for days, but the worst part is that getting themselves up off the ground will be a major ordeal. One always needs the other to help get up, and they’re both grounded.
Rex Morgan – She’s a former Hollywood star? How will Beatty drag roots country into this story?
Ripley’s – If a person has at least 50,000 thoughts a day, one would think that Karen Moy could come up with something other than Pets Are Good.
Mary Worth – I’ll try getting a hypoallergenic cat and see if it works out. If it doesn’t, I’ll just dump the cat on one of my meddlees, making the cat adjust to someone new. Then I’ll blithely move on and forget all about it.
Pets are good, but sometimes their owners are assholes.
Shoe: Sad that it took a Senator Belfy Lookalike Night to expose the obesity epidemic in Treetops.
JP: Dear warden, I realize this is a stressful situation. But rudeness and sarcasm will not help, I assure you.
Pluggers: “Hey, you wanna go recreate that sad montage from the beginning of Up?” “Yes. Yes, I do.”
@The Quiet Man: I’m delighted you found it helpful! I ultimately never married, and don’t want to at my age. But I had much more success in dating when I started viewing it as a skill that can be learned, rather than a trait I had to be born with. It sounds like you’re making good progress!
If you’re ever stuck for something to talk about, bring up something your date said. People love talking about themselves anyway. And the point of dating is to learn about your partner, so this gives you a chance to be the learner. You don’t have to drive every conversation. And if you’re like me, you don’t *want* to drive every conversation. I walked away from some women because they had no goals, interests, or personality of their own; they let every relationship they got into define who they were that week. I’m sure you’ve met some people like that (and they’re not all women).
Listening, which is built on genuinely paying attention to other people, is a very powerful – and very uncommon – people skill. There’s an anecdote in How To Win Friends And Influence People (a great source of insight, though The Art Of Public Speaking is even better). All Dale Carnegie did was go to a party, and prod other people into talking about their own interests. And how did they react to that? “He’s such a great conversationalist!” Carnegie hadn’t done squat! All he did was show interest, pay attention, and listen to what other people were saying! That goes a long way. Over time, the right people will notice this about you, just like they’ll notice if you genuinely are a nice guy (not a Niceguy(TM)). This is how you get that “inner beauty” Luann is so convinced she already has.
I’m an improv guy. Improv training is a master class in listening, gives you a fun new personality trait, and will challenge your abilities. Improv class is also a good place to meet interesting and like-minded people, provided you go into it with the right attitude (actually wanting to learn, instead of viewing it as a singles bar). This will probably also introduce you to people you can relate to, because live performers tend to be a little on the neurotic side. I certainly am.
This may not be something you can do. But I’m sure you can think of some activities at the intersection of Learning Something Productive, Meeting Interesting People, and Acquiring Dating-Adjacent Skills. Cheers.
JP – We keep assuming it’s April, but this person is dressed like a Sith Lord. Randy is finally going to fulfill his destiny.
DT: Is the prison guard with the enormous gun really concerned about Mumbles’s ridiculous little knife? ‘Drop it, buddy! There will be NO pencils sharpened on MY watch!”
@The Quiet Man: It’s okay to point out that there are guys who have what I like to call “testosterone poisoning.” That doesn’t make you Les or Wilbur, that just means you can observe reality.
Shoe: Roz’s must be suffering from the race-to-the-bottom economy sometimes called “late capitalism.” She’s one of many eateries who applied for a liquor license to offer more-profitable “boozy” items on the menu, or possibly she’s skirting the law by hosting a boozy pop-up. If things don’t work out, she may need to pivot to a food truck.
It’s pretty wild to have conservative editorial cartoonist Jeff MacNelly’s caricature of Tip O’Neill, an old school liberal, cloned to experience the neoliberal hellscape that has arisen to replace his politics.
Dustin Maybe DustDad remembers the Good Ol’ Days when strangers would ask you to take a picture of them at some popular tourist spot, and you would deliberately take a bad one (out of focus, heads out of frame etc.) because it was funny.
@Deadly Goon Bugs: Something else is bothering me. Why isn’t there a phone on the desk?
Nancy: Are they both having a stroke? They just keep shouting “Woims!” What kind of place is it where Sluggo is working, anyway?
@richardf8: I was thinking the same thing a couple days ago about JP’s soon-to-be BOOMED warden. Shiny, clean, polished desk top, no computer, no phone, no pens. Just the lamp, empty in-box, and a blotter (?). He must keep his crosswords in the drawer and tuck them away when randos like Randy appear.
MW: Oh, God, please end this now! Wilbur’s going to die of old age before the next story!
JP: Of course, we’ll never find out how April got out of her predicament. Last time we saw her she was being hauled off in a van unconscious by Pavel Jr’s goons. For someone who’s supposed to be a master assassin/martial artist, letting someone sneak up on her in an alley and gives her a bonkus on the konkus approaches newspaper Spiderman levels of incompetence.
Beetle Bailey: Sarge, this package is sold by weight and not volume. Some settling may have occured during transport.
DT: Boy are those Russian mercs going to be embarassed when they realized that they have busted up the wrong prison! Right now, they are wondering, where is Randolph?
JP: We see now one more reason why the NotCIA didn’t trust April. She is too much about drama and looking cool. This isn’t a Michael Bay movie. Ok, blow the prison gate, get moving, not slow walking.
Pluggers: The have fallen but are now in the middle of the manuever to get up. First knees up, then roll onto the side, then onto the belly with the knees bent. Press down on the arms to get to a hands and knees position before trying to get one foot planted.
RMMD: If the paparazzi truly wanted a picture, wouldn’t they have approached the maid in hopes of bribing her for some snaps or learning more about the routine? This would have made them realize who the maid really is. C’mon surely the creators have seen TMZ.
MW: So, next week, The Search for An Orange Cat (Heathcliff, Garfield?) who then in a subsearch must be hypoallergenic in week 2. Week 3 will be a reap of weeks 1 and 2, and week 4 will be another stroll on the pier. Like how Mary did the cheek check when Doc Jeff went in for a mouth kiss – she only kisses on the mouth with people she cares about.
Slylock Fox: (1) Slylock trusts Weirdly enough to get into a craft with him? (2) Antonon Meucci, Johann Reis and Elisha Gray maybe confusing matters.
@The Quiet Man: #6+: Don’t forget April’s lookalike CIA turncoat, the one who helped Norton escape. Could be her.
@ValdVin, @treetown: I had no idea we had so many history-of-technology buffs here.
My favorite part of that Wikipedia article: “It can speak, but it won’t!”
I once read about some culture with a folk tradition that apes can talk, but they won’t. They know if they talk, they’ll be put to work.
“How many guards do we have out there?” Well, if it’s an actual Norwegian prison, probably not very many. The prison system there is known to be quite relaxed, so this kill-em-all approach is extremely uncalled for. If it’s an unofficial prison, and/or in some less pleasant country like Russia, then the answer is “clearly, not enough.” And the prison also wasn’t far enough away from civilization to prevent rando foreigners from just showing up at the door with an entire army division’s worth of explosives. Making such prisons hard to reach is central to their design.
Reminds me of Mary Worth’s balloon crash. It “crashed” so conveniently that an old man and his dog could drive up to it in a Lincoln town car without ever leaving pavement, or leaving his cell phone coverage area.
RMMD: C’mon. The second Lorna Starr made even a noticeable weight gain she’d be fat-shamed on the cover of every supermarket tabloid with titles like LORNA STARR BLIMPING OUT!
RMMD: Since we’re all prognosticating we seem to be on the same page that all roads lead to Glenwwod. Here’s my two cents. Lorna, seeking anonymity, will move to Glenwood, little knowing it’s now the roots country capital of the US. She’ll undertake some dangerous fad diet, which will put her in the hospital. That’s where Rex can make his nominal appearance. He’ll bring up liposuction but she’ll back away when she finds out he performs it with June’s Hoover vacuum cleaner. She’ll then try one of those pop psychology self improvement methods like the Mirakle Method. There she’ll meet Mud Mountain/Fergus. She’ll discover she actually has an excellent singing voice with the proper hillbilly twang. Her and Mud will cut a countrified duet version of Swingset on the Moon, which becomes an instant hit. Lorna learns to become comfortable in her body type and her new career.
@treetown: MW: So, next week, The Search for An Orange Cat (Heathcliff, Garfield?) who then in a subsearch must be hypoallergenic in week 2. Week 3 will be a reap of weeks 1 and 2, and week 4 will be another stroll on the pier. Like how Mary did the cheek check when Doc Jeff went in for a mouth kiss – she only kisses on the mouth with people she cares about.
Don’t forget the week where Mary consults Dr. Ed Harding at ANIMAL HOSPITAL, to be sure her orange hypoallergenic cat is healthy and to get his guidance on feeding it high quality pellets.
Late Thread Cuisine: What is that striped thing in the background?
@Baja Gaijin: A loaf of sliced bread in a basket?
@Baja Gaijin: It looks like a hypoallergenic orange tabby.
JP: Storm Queen (FG) arrives at Earth from Mongo. Let’s hope hero Birken is here too.
PV: ah, to be the titular character in a comic strip. Val gets adventure galore, a gorgeous witch wife who saves him, travel, and no chance of ever dying.
Yeah, why can’t weathermen speak like that? “There will be a bunch of bunny rabbits and dog’s heads moving in. These are angry bunny rabbits though so you can double down on there being a gully-washer.” Then everyone could understand it, I guess?
Is today’s pluggers sounding kind of racist? It sounds like the equivalent of “That cloud looks like an Italian” or “That cloud looks like a Muslim” etc… etc…
Pluggers-A Playboy bunny?
@Banana Jr. 6000: You’re very welcome.
It turned out my hunch was correct. This morning the woman from yesterday messaged me thanking me for my time but that she didn’t feel a connection and good luck in the future. I resisted the urge to ask her for feedback for what I could have done differently (should I have complimented her more? tried to hold her hand at some point? asked her more questions than I did?) and simply thanked and wished her good luck in return. Since I’d prepared myself mentally for such a turn of events, I’m okay, but it still feels like such a missed opportunity. This particular woman showed an affinity for classic Hollywood films (a woman younger than me who knows and enjoys musicals starring Gene Kelly? Yes, please!) and if we’d connected better I was looking forward to finally having someone to share my library of classic films with, in addition to possibly lighting a physical spark.
You mention the art of listening. I’m not trying to brag when I say this, but I think I’m actually quite good at that. If anything, I may be too good. Listening to people talk about the struggles they’ve had or are currently experiencing and so forth puts the zap on my head and I’m back being the nonthreatening friend that women can pour their hearts out to, knowing I’m never going to tell them I can’t handle what they’re telling me or ask (never expect) anything of them for myself.
I don’t think I have the chops to make it in an improv class. I’m a thinker and always deliberate in my actions. If you give me a script and time to rehearse, I’ll bring the house down, but give me a prompt and say ‘go!’ and I’m just going to stand there stammering and wishing I could think even half as fast as a Ryan Stiles or Greg Proops. And I *definitely* wouldn’t be treating it as a singles bar. Again, the fears of being seen as just another gross Wilbur/NiceGuy would keep me on a very tight, short leash. I haven’t yet found that intersection of which you speak.
@Baja Gaijin:
Sliced bread.
JP: Yesterday I was described by a very nice Mudge as “bloodthirsty” because I expressed a wish that April’s international enemies would all get together, presumably in a location with good food and nice scenery, and finally figure out how to kill April and get it done. Okay, I will now cop to being bloodthirsty, although as I responded yesterday, a peaceful painless poisoning would suit me just fine. However, as justification, I will point out that in that last panel, we can see that April (and that strolling hooded figure just has to be April) has killed several guards at least. SHE is bloodthirsty, and far worse, has become something of a repetitive bore. Charlotte is smart and resilient, she’ll be all right without her crazy occasional mother. Die, April, die.
@Baja Gaijin: A cloth tossed over the dish to keep whatever’s in it warm.
@The Quiet Man: I read your opening line as “This morning the woman from yesterday massaged me” and was all “Damn! I hope he fixed her a nice breakfast after.”
@Poteet: Oh, I didn’t disagree with you. Merely surprised at your passionate enthusiasm for April to get a grand piano dropped on her. I’m all for killing April, especially in a wildly campy manner, like in a 1967 episode of The Avengers. Mrs. Peel gonna take that bitch apart, pass the popcorn.
Pluggers: In their struggle to get up, bear man and chicken lady wind up on top of each other inverted.
“OWWWWWW! Never 69 with a beaked animal!!!” He roars.
Baby Blues – Okay, I’ll admit it: I want to know which item came out of her bra.
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, no… I haven’t been anywhere near such a scenario, or even the possibility of such a scenario, in years.
More to your point, unless we’d hit a grocery store beforehand I wouldn’t have had the fixings for breakfast. I’m a bachelor and rarely keep much food in the apartment (otherwise I probably would look like Wilbur but with more hair and less offal). However, I would have happily taken her to eat at any restaurant in town and there are some places around here that do killer breakfasts.
@Baja Gaijin: Aw, man. Ol’ Teriyaki Chuck was a good guy. He deserved a better fate than this.
Shoe: I’m seeing double here. Twelve Belfries!
Teriyaki, like Buffalo, is one of the great Vile Sauces, crafted to ruin otherwise delicious animals.
Low and Hi-less: Ditto can’t wait till he can hold Spiderman by the crotch.
@Baja Gaijin:
I think the stripped thing is sliced bread. The best part is this meal is being served on the the finest uranium glazed Fiestaware.
CS:
Ashes to ashes
Ice to puddles
Chaos theory suggests
We’ll return to muddle.
.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
#54. I’ve been thinking about that conversation too. Maybe it’s from my faith, but when I get nervous at a social event or public speaking, I now remind myself ..
“It’s not about me ”
No matter if I sound dorky, stupid, get tongue tied…
“It’s not about me.”
“It’s not about me ”
Exhale with disgust at my egoism…
“It’s not about me”
@Baja Gaijin:
#122. Loaf of bread, usually round, with icing drizzled on it. I used to make them at Walmart bakery.
@Peanut Gallery:
Pluggers – Plus, that plugger dog’s gonna be covered with ticks. Can chickens get ticks? I guess they’ll find out
______________
Silly Peanut! Ticks are for kids.
Josh is right to be disappointed in Shoe (the default reaction, I think), but I admit to being kind of charmed by the passed-out Belfreys in the foreground. It’s a nice touch. So many comics don’t put those little details anymore.
@Peanut Gallery:
Pluggers – Plus, that plugger dog’s gonna be covered with ticks. Can chickens get ticks? I guess they’ll find out
________________
Silly Peanut! Ticks are for chicks!
“Look,Bart! SHOE is sticking it to that Tip O’Neill guy again! I guess he works there or something!”
Shoe: It is nice that Tip O’Neill, 47th Speaker of the House, is still being remembered 30+ years after his death.
JP: Is that a siren going off or all the boys remaining in the prison yard just really taken with the way April rocks a fur lined parka?
Pluggers: Henrietta makes her husband, Earl (I think?) hungry for rabbit. A diplomatic incident ensues when the one he attacks and eats turns out to be a citizen of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids.
“It’s Tip Over Tip O’Neill Night (in the day) at Roz’s Roost and pro station,Cosmo!”
C-Shaft: The ice festival that was canceled last weekend due to excessive ice? Batiuk certainly covers all his bases. Unfortunately, these are the bases.
DT: Just assuming that if Doubleup cracks his knuckles once, he has to crack them twice.
Dustin: I consider myself this blog’s resident Luddite, and even I know that almost all phones have self-timer functions on their camera apps? When did you last see a selfie stick in the wild?
FC: Thel Keane responds to her children’s thirst by giving everyone a thirst trap? Okay, I’ll take it.
MW: [Freeze-frame. Voice-over by Ray Liotta] “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a meddler.”
RMMD: “I need to spend some time in a burg where no one cares about celebrities unless they wear ridiculous cowboy gear and play obscure country subgenres.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Pluggers: Henrietta makes her husband, Earl (I think?) hungry for rabbit. A diplomatic incident ensues when the one he attacks and eats turns out to be a citizen of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids.
________________________
Luckily for Earl, he eats noted professional Karen Rachel Rabbit so nobody complains,except Sly himself who loses his best snitch.
The Familliar Mucus: “Mommy! Big Jeffy wants you to face the camera! He’s desperate for readers!”
@Activist: Hmm, I don’t see icing. I see a round loaf with white showing in each gap that shows the interior mie. Looking closely, you can see the white bread’s bubbles/ texture .
Late Thread Cuisine: Everyone’s talking about the striped bread; no one noticed the big hunk o’beef in the foreground?
@Baja Gaijin: You’ve seen one hunk o’ beef, you’ve seen ’em all.
@Baja Gaijin: I can’t get past the garish, neon carrots and the potatoes that look like they came out of a can.
@GarrisonSkunk: Heh, yeah, Slylock will have to start cultivating a drug-addicted chicken or something now.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Batiuk certainly covers all his bases. Unfortunately, these are the bases.
______________________
Unfortunately for readers, I Don’t Know How This Works is always on first.
@158 I speak Jive: Would it help if those “potatoes” were water chestnuts? They are.
@Baja Gaijin: That’s as bad if not worse. Who serves a pile of water chestnuts as a side dish?
PLUGGERS: On one hand, my first thoughts about this panel, getting ticks and being unable to get up, were well covered in many comments above, so I got nuthin’. On the other hand, this experience is a good reminder that I have definitely found my people here on CC. I’m grateful.
@I speak Jive: @Baja Gaijin: I can’t get past the garish, neon carrots and the potatoes that look like they came out of a can.
________________________________
That would be your Garish Garnish*
*in the Gaijin tongue.
@I speak Jive: Who serves a pile of water chestnuts as a side dish?
_______________________________________________
Mel Torme, he’s always looking for a comeback song.
Shoe – Senator Belfry felt like drinking while eating at Roz’s, and will use his clout to take care of any issues with the alcohol authorities. And if the police are still being a bit pushy? He disappears into a crowd of lookalikes and makes an escape!
Judge Parker – Judge Parker Newbie: “Isn’t this supposed by be a legal soap opera in a suburban setting? Why does it look like Marvel’s 2021 film Black Widow?”
Long Time Judge Parker Reader – “You sweet summer child, how did you wander over here from TikTok?”
Pluggers – Surprised that in the Pluggers world they would say “Bunny Rabbit” and not name a deep-lore forgotten Bunny character neighbor.
@I speak Jive:
Who serves a pile of water chestnuts as a side dish?
SHAFT! Can you dig it?
@MKay: PLUGGERS: Wouldn’t animals see people-shaped clouds?
________________________________
Mainly when they’re not dreaming of electric sheep.
JP: I really hope someone on the NAS staff realizes renaming the strip “Judge PARKER BOOM!” would be a vast improvement.
@Philip:
Pluggers – Surprised that in the Pluggers world they would say “Bunny Rabbit” and not name a deep-lore forgotten Bunny character neighbor.
___________________________________
It’s ether Babs or Buster (no relation).
@Rover Berkeley: “Yeah. Freedom Fries. I’ll be glad when Bush leaves office, won’t you? And did you hear what they did to the Dixie Chick’s? World’s getting crazier everyday!
@Philip: Pluggers – Surprised that in the Pluggers world they would say “Bunny Rabbit” and not name a deep-lore forgotten Bunny character neighbor.
__________________________
Maybe she meant Bunny Rabbit from “Captain Kangaroo”, he should be old enough now to be a Plugger, we haven’t heard much from him since he appeared as a character witness at the Mr.Moose murder trial. Who knew you could kill a guy with ping pong balls?
@Baja Gaijin: You’d be hard put to find a bone-in chuck roast in your grocer’s meat case. This calls for a visit to your great-grandmama’s butcher shop, where you ask the mustachioed majordomo with the straw boater and the garter on his sleeve to cut it for you special.
Nearly every meat thing tastes better when you prepare it with the bone intact.
@I speak Jive: When you buy them to go with one of those La Choy chow mein kits, and then forget to serve them with the chow mein…
FC: “So, you’re thirsty? I’ll fix that!” Thel grabs Jeffy by the ankles and dunks his head in the toilet until the bubbles stop. She then gazes down the now empty hallway. “Any of you other little shits want a drink” I didn’t think so.”
@Dr. Pill: @Baja Gaijin: You’ve seen one hunk o’ beef, you’ve seen ’em all.
_______________________________________________________
“Sometimes a hunk o’ beef is just a hunk o’beef”, Dr. Sigmund Freud, ordering lunch at the Vienna In ‘n Out Burger.
I was considering baking a dish I never heard of before… I don’t even know if it exists.
Chicken Pot Pie but with fish filets instead of chicken. Nothing too strong like salmon but maybe like cod or halibut.
The idea sounds good on paper, I think it would taste really good. I should look up a recipe.
@Ukulele Ike: Ah, the glorious Mrs. Peel. Thanks for the memory.
@176 The Rambling Otter: It could work. Give it a try, just for the hal-i-but. Ha ha! I told a joke older than Mary Worth.
@The Rambling Otter: fisherman’s pot pie? (there are a bajillion British fish pie recipes)
MT: Nice work! A tiny footnote correction is that the red-shouldered hawk is only found in about half the U.S., but otherwise, this strip is pretty cool.
Weirdly inadvertently changed history and became the first door dash as that cat sees its dinner appear in the form of a yellow mouse wearing a pink bowler. “Thanks for the mouse under glass, next time just skip the green guy.”,it mews.Luckily Cassandra taught Sly how to talk.pre civilized cat.
Gassed Up Alleycats: Did ja tell Alice?
@The Quiet Man: It sounds like you’re getting out there, at least, which is what you need to do. And don’t give up on the improv classes – it’s a lot easier than it looks. You might ask if it’s possible to take the class without having to be in the class live show, which was an option when I did it. This whole exercise is about overcoming things you “don’t think you have the chops” for, so try to think of your activities in terms of that.
And I wouldn’t worry about listening too much. There are ways to stimulate conversation without filling the air with noise. Not to keep beating the improv drum, but it teaches you is to look for cues in what the other person is saying. The goal is to create a two person scene, without either of you having prepared it. One person can take another person’s idea and run with it. This is often what we talk about in review; “it was great that you caught that” or “I wish you would have gone this direction”, suggesting that the reviewer responded differently than the performer would have.
Which is kind of what you’re doing in dating. You want to find a person you’re compatible with, and build something together, even if it’s just an enjoyable time out. I know that sounds like a corny way to view it, but I think anything that demystifies the process is probably helpful.
Judge Parker: I wonder who April got to sacrifice her life by walking through the front gates of the recently exploded secret prison? No way April went to all that trouble to get everyone looking at the site of the explosion just to take a sniper’s bullet in the neck, right?
RIGHT?
DtM: Say what you will about the little piker, at least he has enough sense to leave the “goddam” out of his “good and ready” when circumstances dictate it.