Jamaal’s actually working, someone has to while Herb ruminates endlessly
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Luann, 4/2/26
“Oh my gosh,” you’re probably thinking. “Is Luann, the wildly ribald but perversely sexless comic strip about college students, implying that Les and Tara had sex?” No, dummy. She just came over to use and critique Les and Gunther’s bathroom. Remember, young men and women who are attracted to each other do bathroom–adjacent stuff all the time in this comic. It’s what they have instead of sex, I think!
Mary Worth, 4/2/26
“People have limits on which illusions they can accept,” says Toby, steadfastly refusing to turn around and see the pair of parrots eating out of a giant salad bowl on her counter. She needs to believe that this isn’t her life now! That’s the illusion she chooses to accept.
Herb and Jamaal, 4/2/26
Actually, Herb, making a mountain out of a molehill would take a great deal of dirt indeed, as the two are wildly divergent in size. That’s what gives the expression its meaning!
57 replies to “Jamaal’s actually working, someone has to while Herb ruminates endlessly”
Luann-Tara blew Les and made it all better.
RMMD-Whenever Mud’s current wife kicks him out of the house he heads down to the Glennwood Motel.
MW-Tomorrow Mary calls Wilbur.
FC-“This hurts you more than it hurts me,” Mommy says.
Hi and Lois-You could get that weird big nose kid who plays for Brownie Charles.
Gasoline Alley-“Oh I had this wonderful dream where I was dead. Why did you have to wake me?”
Mary Worth:
“I just got lettuce all over myself, Mary!”
“Are you wearing a Bibb?”
“Rumors are nothing but an exaggeration of the truth… Except the ones that are wholly made up. Where was I going with this?”
A character from a comic entirely devoted to bland innuendo sprained his finger on a date, and they’re just not going anywhere with that? Do your job or go home, Luann!
Mary Worth:
“If you think it would help, Mary, I’m sure that each of my two parrots would be willing to put a ‘deposit‘ in this ‘Trixie‘ ‘s account!”
MW: Mary and Toby accept the shared illusion, that they can maintain a hold on their cellphones with their fingers positioned in that way.
Here’s a rumour with a little dirt thrown in: “Herb and Jamaal” is not funny
Luann:
“Hey, Les — has anyone ever told you that you look like ‘Quentin’ from Dark Shadows?”
Luann: Disappointing failure to build on the rock climbing set-up. I really thought Les would say he broke that finger while working it into a slippery crevasse – or given Luann‘s usual celibacy, just trying an overambitious free solo.
H&J: Herb and Jamaal follows a long running experiment: exactly how stoned does someone have to get before they stop being a productive diner employee. Turns out, it’s however stoned Herb is right now.
MW: That’s actually what’s left of Ian’s body, isn’t it? This has all been part of Toby’s master plan.
Luann: ” I guess I don’t have to ask who the bidet belongs to. Er…Thanks, Gunth. “
“Ultra tidy side of the bathroom”? Does one piss on the left and the other on the right?
Crankshaft : Is this a “Why haven’t I gotten this guy out of my house and into assisted living yet?” look of horror, or a “OH GOD I’M LETTING THIS THING *DRIVE* THE CAR I’M CURRENTLY IN” look of horror on Pam there?
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Herb & Jamaal : Wasn’t this the plot of a 1997 Hugh Grant movie? With the ending being that erosion turned the mountain back into a hill, and Hugh Grant’s character, from beyond the grave, screamed “A HILL!?” and everyone in the village immediately rushed to put a little dirt on it?
***********
Judge Parker : Oh, wait, Bogdan isn’t being hostile, he’s there to rescue them from the Soviet Mind Control device (as seen in the educational video game Command and Conquer : Red Alert 2)! Neddy, rather than Charlotte, is the one who fell victim to it because… well, obviously the device affects the weakest, least mature mind FIRST.
…I dunno why my mind went there…***********
Luann : the Evansii know we hate Gunther, so they put our criticism of the strip in his mouth in an effort to shame us.
…I maintain : Tara and Les are a bad couple, actually, a transparent “Pair the Spares” scheme AT BEST.
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Mary Worth : This is a fakeout, right? Mary’s backup she was so desperate to seek can’t possibly be TOBY, right?
I do have to give Mary Worth credit for, after doing a storyline in which Toby gets two parrots, showing Toby with two parrots. Not every comic strip has attained object permanence.
MW: Mary knows a doctor ( two, if you count the vet) an academic and a girl with a magical “tummy brain.” And her choice for backup is a ditsy failed artist with a parrot fetish?
RMMD: Mae Mae sure is gaga over Mud. Surely, he’s not the most impressive celeb she’s ever met?
@matt w: I do have to give Mary Worth credit for, after doing a storyline in which Toby gets two parrots, showing Toby with two parrots. Not every comic strip has attained object permanence.
That’s the result of the iron-clad contracts prepared by the legal team working for Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! I think he must have recently tried using an online DIY legal website in a misguided bid to save on the fees, though, because we sure haven’t seen much of Muffin—neither the gray not the orange version. It pays to hire professionals.
MW: “I have to go now, Mary. The drugs are kicking in and apparently I’m levitating the salad and carrots WITH MY MIND!“
MW: Ian: “The bleu cheese dressing seems to have gone bad, dear.”
Toby: “But I used vinaigrette”
::They look at the birds, then back at the salads::
Both: “URP!”
MW — People have limits on what illusions they can accept–and I for one cannot accept that Toby has trained two parrots to eat kale out of a bowl without fighting each other . . .
@Charterstoned: Also that the thin sheets they’re holding are phones – I refuse to believe they shell out for the expensive ultra-thin newest model. I’m not sure Toby can even figure out a smartphone, maybe a Jitterbug with Ian handling controls
MW: Actually, the current story line shows the exact opposite of what Toby is saying. People tend to have limits on what reality they will accept, often preferring to accept illusions instead. For instance, some bubble-headed faculty wives insist on believing that their husbands are away attending some week-long “teachers’ meeting” instead of spending the week vaping with a certain female sophomore who is relying on extracurricular activities to enable her to pass a course in which she has no interest or aptitude.
RMMD: Does fatso here think having Mud’s picture on the Wall of [hardest finger quotes humanity has ever seen] *Fame* will somehow distract people from trying to figure out who she really is/was/whatever?
JP: Welp, Bogdan sure blew his cover right quick. Apparently CIApril’s lessons in how to skulk in the shadows were for nought. I just hope he’s handy with a gun or something so that he can spirit away the raspberry-haired brat back to her parents (and out of the strip forever, hopefully) without expending too much ammo.
MW: What does “People have limits on what illusions they can accept” have to do with anything in this plot? Clearly, Hart has no limits on the illusions he can accept. Is Toby talking about how Ian gaslit himself into tolerating her parrots, but still refuses to see them defecating in his shoes as a sign of their love?
@Anonymous: The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain! I saw it when it was in theaters, then pretty much forgot about it ever since, apart from that ending.
Mary Worth
“People have limits on which illusions they will accept.”
Like right now when I hit my limit accepting the illusion that Toby is sober because her statement proves she isn’t- that, and because it’s anytime-o’clock on a weekday.
Luann: If there’s one thing good out of all this mess, it’s that we get to see Gunther’s smug self-righteous indignation deflated.
MW: “Hey, hey, who’s the wise old woman here? You just keep your philosophical ruminations to yourself, little missy.”
Mary Worth
“People have limits on which illusions they will accept.”
The parrots consuming the salad are the visual and parrotative metaphor of Toby’s literal word salad.
Mary Worth: Truly enjoying how Mary is holding her phone gingerly, with the tips of her fingers, and upside-down. She doesn’t need this conversation! She’s never needed it! Meddling is strictly a one-way street, how’s that for a reality sandwich, Toby?
MW: Yes, Toby seems an unusual choice for “backup,” but what if Mary’s plan is to use Toby to distract Harv? Toby will disguise herself and pretend she saw Harv’s profile online and fell instantly in love. Six excruciating weeks of Moy trying to write a sex farce later, Harv has forgotten Trixie completely, and dies happily from his angina.
C’shaft: Suddenly Pam realized: this man is responsible for the lives of dozens of children every day.
DT: Does Flash Gordon know you’re borrowing their plot?
Dustin: “Sorry, Mom, what was that? I’m reading Sense and Sensibility on Project Guttenberg right now for my English class.”
“And I just signed up for a consultation with the state workforce agency. Now, what where you saying that got you all worked up?”
GT: I’m trying to imagine the level of preparation and legal permission it would take to host a “bring your pet day” inside a public school.
HotC: Kid, have you seen a doctor? Pretty sure you should seek treatment if your pica has gotten that bad.
Also Mary Worth: Oh man, I cannot wait for the special 35th-anniversary release of Use Your Illusion III: Mary Worth Bugaloo.
MW: Toby side eyes the parrots eating Ian’s salad. “Maybe he won’t notice.”
Luann: I was going to make a joke about how perfect it is for Les to be smug about not having sex in a way cooler manner than the nerdy Gunther. But then it occurred to me that everyone in this strip is smug, and nobody in this strip has sex. So, uh, happy Thursday, everyone?
MW: I appreciate that the artist has taken pains to give each parrot its own distinct plumage. But I am somewhat less appreciative of the way in which Mary and Toby have each been given their own distinctly improbable way of holding a cell phone.
Crankshat – What in the wide world of sports is happening here? Are these cars moving, meaning that Ed is tailgating? Are they stopped and the minivan is a-rocking and “swimming” is a euphemism?
MW-Tomorrow a despondent Harv will wander the streets wailing for his lost Trixie while hurling people into oncoming traffic.
Gunther: (beams proudly) Yes, yes I am.
JP: Nice of Neddy to wear extra eyeliner for this sinister turn of the plot.
RMMD: Mae’s upset about Doug’s wall of fame without Mud on it. Are we heading towards a “Do The Right Thing” moment here?
@MKay: She has that Cop friend, who she brought in when Estelle was being scammed.
I guess Moy forgot about her.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Well, living in Charterstone is like living right next door to hell. Mary thinks her double talkin’ jive is the garden of eden, and is also a perfect crime. Her bad obsession with beating a dead horse is putting me into a coma. You ain’t the first! Don’t cry!
Luann: Boys! No need to quarrel! You’re both unlikable in your own way.
Mary Worth: I can’t even blame the quality of the lettering this time, but there was a moment when I thought Mary was on the phone with TCBY, aka “The Country’s Best Yogurt.” Honestly, I’d turn to a random purveyor of frozen desserts before I’d consult Toby on anything.
Herb & Jamaal: We laugh at H&J for its lack of specificity, but it goes deeper than that. These strips where Herb silently muses about things the readers hasn’t seen and will never experience, even tangentially, are achievements. The creator, Stephen Bentley, has removed the idea of context from his comic! What’s happening and why do the characters care about it? Good luck, nerds! You’ll never know!
HERB AND JAMAL: Herb: “Rumors are exaggerations of the truth…probably told by some gossipy chippy who thinks packing up, shacking up is all you want to do. I hope when the rain washes her clean, she will not know!”
Yesterday Mary announced that she needed backup and today she called… Toby?!?! That’s the best you could do?! Why not to call Wilbur! He has no special competence, just like Toby, but with old televisions sometimes it worked kicking them!
The parrots are a great way to distract people so they don’t notice that Mary has managed to make a successful phone call on that six inch ruler she’s holding.
***
Yeah, Herb, I like to think to myself in ways I hope will end up in books of quotations too.
Do Toby and Mary accept the illusion that either of them can hold a mobile phone like an actual human being?
Luann:
“When are you going to the masquerade ball as crooner Engelbert Humperdinck, Les?”
“After the Loving Starts.”
“Rumours are nothing but an exaggeration of truth.” Actually, in the age of social media, rumours can be completely unhinged from reality! But people will claim they are essentially true, because the fact that they could fell for them is indicative of the situation! The world has fallen, Herb! After Justice, even the goddess Truth has left Earth and Spes ultima dea committed suicide a while ago!
9CL: She wants you to play the A with your dick, Al.
GT: ”Don’t forget tomorrow is ‘Bring Your Pet to School’ day. The roughly 35% of students allergic to animal dander, remember to bring your gas masks.”
Well, Josh, I am sorry to say that Herb has a better grasp on the expression than you do. Hear me out! The molehill, in the expression, remains a molehill. The person who “makes a mountain” of it is making claims about the molehill which its actual size does not justify. The molehill does not actually become a mountain. And, in fact, much as Herb implies, all it takes is the skewed perspective of the “maker” to complete the effect. Not much effort goes into it at all. I thank you and bid you farewell forever.
Luann – Gunther was originally intended to be a sympathetic character. Then he was a pathetic character, and now he’s just a douchey, prissy little bitch. He’s an Incel with a girlfriend, which is a neat trick. Anyone who can dunk on him has my loyalty. I also just prefer Les. Yeah, he’s a little slick, but he’s also a good friend to Tiffany, who started as a douchey bitch, and is now sympathetic (and occasionally pathetic). And, he has a pet that he takes care of – unlike some pets in the Lu-niverse [cough] Puddles [cough].
H&J: Smart of Jamal to make Herb wear an AirTag device on his apron. No telling when he’ll wander off into traffic. “Mountain…molehill…where am I?”
MW – “That’s terrible! He actually believed those meaningless words, produced only to elicit his affections, were real? And enticed him to hand over a significant pile of green?” says Toby, as her parrots greedily chow down on a bowl of salad.
GT:
“Coach Thorp has an important announcement.”
“Owing to a bar fight, followed by some ill-advised cosmetic surgery in an abandoned Studebaker factory, my nose is wider than both my eyes put together. You are to act like this is normal.”
@Liam: Before barging into a greasy spoon diner and thrusting Trixie’s picture on his phone in the face of every customer and employee. ‘Have you seen this woman??’
@Hibbleton: If we are, it’s going to be ‘Hector’ who gets it when Mr. Pornstache comes back with the cops to accuse Mae Mae of being Lorna Starr and demanding them to drag her back to Hollywood to make more action movies.
MW: Panel 2: Just off camera, an actual grownup has to be feeding Toby her lines.
@Old School Allie Cat: Oh, I would pay real money to see watch Les break another finger on Gunther’s skull right now. Les’ only misdeed was fudging his interests to get a date, which is basically normal behavior in the age of dating apps. But here comes self-righteous Gunther, chomping at the bit to bash Les, not even acknowledging his injury, and. Note also how he announces how Tara is supposed to react to this, when she’s contradicting him with her mere presence in the room.
Gunther is the worst kind of incel: He’s a Niceguy(TM). He’s angry at Les for getting a date, because Gunther is a much nicer guy than Les, and only Niceguys(TM) like Gunther should get dates, ever. Being an incel with a girlfriend is actually easy if you know the trick: just be a male character in a newspaper comic, written by a male author who himself was a Niceguy(TM) and can’t accept that this approach doesn’t work. Because it doesn’t. Not even in any forms of fiction outside newspaper comics.
And, as you note, Les has some identifiable positive qualities, something that cannot be said for Gunther.
Luann-“So what’s the deal here? Are the both of you going to do me at the same time cause I charge double for that.”
MW-It’s a good thing Mary called Toby instead of some sort of social services ya know people who know what to do.