Imagine being less alert that Dagwood. Shameful
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Blondie, 5/24/26
Blondie over its multidecade run has chronicled America’s increasing suburbanization and corresponding car dependence. Back in the ’50s, Dagwood took public transit to work; in 2026, he carpools with three other people, which honestly probably puts him in the bottom 10% in terms of CO2 production for his neighborhood cohort. I would’ve made that guess even before seeing today’s strip, in which he wanders around his all-residential subdivision and we learn that his cohort is so sedentary that it’s spending the weekend walking slowly, not walking at all, and unable to maintain consciousness despite drinking a big cup of coffee in the middle of the day.
Hagar the Horrible, 5/24/26
At first I thought this guy in the blue smock had sexually harassed a serving woman and been murdered for it. But now that I look at it more closely, he’s just getting stomped on by a hot shield maiden and looks overjoyed about it, which probably indicates that this was his plan all along.
26 replies to “Imagine being less alert that Dagwood. Shameful”
HtH:
“She’s a real battle-axe!”
Blondie, 5/24/26: “Imagine being less alert THAT Dagwood.” Imagine being too arrogant to stoop to (wait for it) PR00FREADING!
HtH:
Lizzie Dottir took a sword
And sent Sven running to a fjord.
— Ancient Norse rhyme
Not to be a yenta or anything, but shouldn’t that be “than Dagwood” as opposed to “that Dagwood”? And, yes, I have no life.
HtH:
“Who wants a bowl of cold potato soup? — my Viking stove is on the fritz!”
I did not know “moonlight” means “can transform into a hot, superheroic alter ego instantly, like Sailor Moon”.
Dustin-Ah yes the dieting through starvation plan.
Blondie-We all know what ‘walk’ is a euphemism for. Blondie is trying to whore Dagwood out to the neighborhood men and sadly failing at it.
Slylock Fox-Next morning Slylock has an omelette.
Slylock Fox-“Slylock, we’re animals who walk and talk and wear clothes. Standard animal behavior has flown out the window.”
MW-Wilbur then sneaks up behind Dawn. “Are you stalking an ex? ‘Cause him headed off to stalk one of mine.”
RMMD-Meanwhile all these out of town restaurant customers are staying at better hotels.
FC-Jeffy, if you want to weigh more weigh yourself with Dolly.
Hi and Lois-And there is the hot neighbor who never closes her curtains undressing.
Judging by his expression in the bottom left panel, “his plan all along” was to look up the hot shield maiden’s skirt.
Blondie: How is it that Daisy took what’s apparently her first walk of the day without peeing on anything, pooping on anything, or even sniffing anything? She did stare at all of Dagwood’s neighbors awfully intently, though — maybe as a partially colorblind dog, she has a hard time telling them apart in their identical “lazy suburban guy” polo shirts.
Hagar: Cold potato soup? Oh, you mean vichyssoise — clearly the Vikings have been raiding the French for their recipes as well as their valuables. Where they got the idea for modern-style home mail delivery, though, I have no idea.
A little passive aggressive on Blondie’s part to not ask Dagwood herself rather than wait for him to ask her after his friend’s refusal.
Believe It or Not: Did this Capybara look at porn before taking his long shower? That would seem to be an unfair advantage in this competition.
HtH:
“One of our group blew right past me as I was hitchhiking and shouted, ‘I can’t drive 55!’ ”
“What miscreant fellow tribesman of ours did that to you, Lucky Eddie?”
” ‘Sammy,’ Hagar!”
HtH – And before this, she had served in a commando unit!
RMMD – a real failure not to have this customer add “hyuk hyuk” to every line.
HtH: Lucky Eddie’s sick mother is in a home for the criminally insane.
RMMD: Amazing amount of detail in the orange-haired (and orange-eyed?) customer. I have to assume this is a real person who won some sort of contest to appear in the strip — there has to be some reason an artist would devote that much effort to a throwaway character, while drawing all the regulars as expressionless ovals.
HtH – Josh I think you missed the point of the WBAHLLC gang. The guy is not just overjoyed about getting stomped on by a hot shield maiden. He’s overjoyed because he’s looking right up her dress.
RMMD: “And can I have YOUR autograph? I never thought I’d meet Howdy Doody!”
MW: You thought things were dark before, Tommy. Now, you’ve caught Dawn’s eye. Buckle up, buttercup!
Mary Worth: As a Southern Californian myself, I’m well aware that palm trees tend to drop huge sharp-edged leaves and entire heavy fronds on the ground, especially during high winds. Which is why it’s weird that Charterstone has one leaning directly over the walkway, so the debris could land on anyone passing by. Was that Mary’s idea? It’s almost as bad as, say, planting vegetables just a few feet from the building, where they’re likely to attract squirrels, rats, gophers, rabbits, and raccoons. Did Mary actually get approval from the condo board for this project? I have a feeling no one but her actually wanted to “supplement their pantries” by fertilizing tomato gardens right outside the windows of their million-dollar condos — which just goes to show how influential the Great and Powerful Mary is around these parts.
There are plenty of anachronism here: hitchhiking, the postal system, sick leave, etc. The worst one is the presence of potato soup before the Columbian exchange
I think Dagwood is not being sarcastic. Look how huge those yards are and how distant the houses are from other houses! Walking to three front doors and returning must be a not small contributions to your daily step count!
@76VDubber:
That was my first thought, too. He was getting a preview glimpse of the gates of Heaven before he died.
You might think that Vikings went woke on workplace sexual harassment, but actually in an honour society without a clear monopoly on violence, defending your reputation on the tip of the sword was essential. Sorry blonde viking, you wish you would only get a stern talk from HR!
HTH: This is one of the most perverse sexually suggestive family newspaper comics ever, but you should have expected that when the first panel has the name “Dik Browne”. Apparently Hägar is trying to emulate the Diddy “Freak Off” parties. You don’t want to know what she’s going to do with that huge phallic sword.
JP: Ahhhh yes… It had been more than a few days since we were treated to two pissyfaced women yelling at each other in this strip. The universe is in balance once more.
Luann: I guess the Evansii are picking up tips from Batiuk on how to draw a strip without a discernable joke. In the hands of a better writer, the punchline would be a literal punch as Les decks Gunther and throws him out of the garden shed.
DT: So, not one of these businesses had private security who could take a potshot at one of these drones? And all their employees are early bird eager beavers who got to work early and are thus not trapped in the massive traffic jams?
RMMD: Holy shit, it’s Arch Hall Jr.! To quote the MST3K crew: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
@Ettorre: Isn’t potato soup just “Chowder” now?