Monday is for heroes, sort of
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Hi and Lois, 5/25/26
I feel like I’m one of the last pedants holding onto this fact, but Memorial Day is not for remembering all who served; that’s Veterans Day, in November. Memorial Day is for remembering all who died while serving. Died like the food you’re shoving down your gullet, Thirsty. Like all life forms, and like the modern nation-state, we feed on death!
Luann, 5/25/26
“Hop on it! By ‘it’ I mean your wife, who also works here, whom I urge you to mount and inseminate. Remember, climate change will make our jobs harder and harder, until we lose the battle against fire and society collapses!”
Gil Thorp, 5/25/26
Hey, remember all those teen golfers we met? Well, they died. They fuckin’ died. But the important thing is that Gil’s team beat the team coached by his ex-wife, so their sacrifice was not in vain.
153 replies to “Monday is for heroes, sort of”
Luann: Firefighters 1 and 2 already did a mutual hand transplant.
No Dawn no they don’t, I mean look at your Father.
Good news from Questionable Malcontent:
That wriggling alien brain parasite attached to Anh’s head has finally met its demise.
Wary Morth:
No, Dusk, your dad isn’t a demon. Hell has higher standards than to employ *him*.
Wrecks Moregone:
If this story goes any faster it’ll break the sound barrier and we won’t hear a word the characters are saying.
H and L:
“And while I’m at it, quaffing this beer, I’d also like to thank all the extraterrestrials who featured in the ‘Twilight Zone’ episode To Serve Man!”
Thirsty’s wife isn’t there, did he just see Hi drinking in his backyard and climb the fence to join in? Lois does seem to be passive-aggressively reminding him to have some food with his beer.
Luann-Oh boy! Two weeks of Brad and Toni babymaking drama!
Hi and Lois-“Today we remember my brother Beetle Bailey who has been trapped in the military for over seventy years.”
RMMD-Gonna need to see some id on that redhead. They aged rather rapidly between two panels.
MW-Dawn then goes back to her apartment to find a disheveled and passed out from drinking fermented mayonnaise Wilbur.
Gil Thorp-Never forget the Great Golf Massacre of ’26.
GT: The way the writing in this strip has been going Gil being the last astronaut left alive on an alien planet is totally plausible.
Luann — No clunky wordplay about a little Alf? Do better, Evansii!
Hi and Lois: Everyone seems really happy that Thirsty is there, but not his wife. I guess that’s what happens when you have one of those all-beer, no-food cookouts.
Slylock Fox: Did Slylock really need to match those “unique” toe prints to some sort of database? Slick Smitty is pretty much the only possible perpetrator who even has toes. Just call in the usual suspect (“Sapiens, Homo”).
Rex Morgan: “Do you want more coffee, odd-looking person who might be either 12 or 40? I think it’s fine if you drink some, maybe or maybe not.”
H and L:
“It sure is fun, getting ready to enjoy a meal without any utensils whatosever!”
H&L: So there’s no actual food, just a couple of middle-aged men drinking beer, one of whom didn’t even bother to bring his wife along. Happy Memorial Day!
Remember when Hi and Lois felt they had to hide drinking alcohol in front of the kids? You might joke that they have stopped caring, but I sincerely believe it is a good thing. This American Puritanical attitude towards alcohol consumption feeds both neurosis and alcoholism, twins in destiny. Show your kids that there is a responsible way to indulge in alcohol, like Mediterranean people do!
H and L:
“Say, what happened to Irma, anyway, Thirsty? — why isn’t she here?”
“Oh, she changed her last name to ‘La Douce,’ and she’s walking the streets of Flagston!”
When “Hi & Lois” started in the 1950s, the implications was that Hi was a WWII veteran, whose domestic foibles were nothing compared to the horror of total war and crimes against humanity. These days someone like Hi would have never served in the military and neither would Thirsty. Probably Hi should make a toast to Beetle, who is serving right now, but he is forgotten, just like Washington has forgotten our heroes. Time for Halftrack and Sarge to prepare a coup!
Luann:
“…as will the placard we’re going to install bearing the stirring words of the late Johnnie Cochran: ‘You must leave the station for a peregrination if there’s a conflagration‘ !”
GT – I for one am excited to see the teens of this strip forced to become the latest participants in the Battle Royale program.
GT: Did Gil serve in some still-canon-but-utterly-ignored-now backstory, or is today’s strip stolen valour?
JP Well, actually, he judges – that is uses his judgment on – everyone. That’s how it works. If he knows you, he’s got more information and that can lead to trust despite a blunt fact like a prison record, but for Ann right now all his brain is doing is playing the odds and based on that his reaction ain’t crazy!
Phantom Psst! When tracing your references don’t forget to draw in the front chair legs after plopping down your “dude sprawled on the floor beneath” bit. Also try to get the relative scale of “dude on the floor” and “airplane seats” right, not only will the precariously-attached seats fail in any rough landing (let alone a crash situation!) but rich folks who can afford a private jet expect to have seats where they don’t have to dangle their legs in midair when they sit!
“Say, you ever read the story of how King David urged his soldier Uriah the Hittite to go home and sleep with his wife Bathsheba so he wouldn’t realize she was cheating on him with David himself? And when that failed, David set him up in an impossible battle? Why? No reason!”
Is dying for your country “making the ultimate sacrifice”? What about offering your heart to keep the sun sated and the world rolling!? But I guess in these politically correct times, you can no longer talk of religion!
RMMD:
“How about you sign my teeth, Miss Lorna? That way , people will notice it whenever I flash my coprophagous grin, which, as you can see, is frequently!”
In Saturday’s strip, Irma went to visit her mother and asked Lois to watch Thirsty while she was gone. Hi & Lois is demonstrating object permanence!
@Ettorre: Trixie does that.
RMMD:
“Do you want more coffee?”
“No, ma’am. I’ve got to run off to make my audition for the lead role in the Glenwood Players’ forthcoming musical production Carrot Top: The Early Years!”
RMMD – For Lorna, the polite thing to do would be to compliment Alfred E. Neuman on his successful orthodontia.
Bot at #27 – Does Josh have some hidden white text or some comment in the webpage source that forces any AI bot to reference the novel for easy identification?
Luann: Glad to see Dustin found a stable job finally
@StripEye:
Spam alert on #27!
H&L Turns out that this isnt actually about Memorial Day, but about the wives who serve their families every day. No wonder why Thirsty’s wife couldn’t bring herself to attend.
Luann: Really enjoying the haunted look on Brad’s face.Hes going to have to study those pamphlets again…
GT “And thanks for leaving me this snazzy uniform! It’s not stolen valor if I just use it to impress chicks, right?
MW: Does Mary’s garden now extend all the way to Lost Balloonist Park? I appreciate returning the condo parking lot and grounds to green space but not sure how the other residents will respond to her redirecting Charterstone’s water supply to her irrigation system.
H&L: Wherever Irma may be, I have not a doubt that she’s happier than if she were with her embarrassment of a spouse.
MW: So, Dawn, rather than get a REAL job, or even do the simple task of putting away the groceries, you’ve decided to become the Virtue Czar.
GT: I just assume Barajas comes from a country where all males enter service upon reaching 18 years of age and supposes Gil served too.
MW: Dawn is spying on Tommy Beedie from behind a tree. Wilbur spied on Iris Beedie from behing a bush. Like father, like daughter.
“Just like civilians in the distant past had to make sacrifices in times of war, we – the McHiandloises (or whatever our last name is, this is my third beer and I can’t be bothered searching) – must eat burgers bereft of condiments or side dishes to keep our table as empty as the promise of peace.”
***
“Chief, after we get the new truck can we look into getting a table with a third side so we don’t need to keep sitting in a row like this?”
***
Anyway (and this is true), as a Canadian, I have a dentist appointment today. Enjoy your day off while I have someone I barely know stick things into my mouth.
Hagar: Even Hagar has to admit that making the ‘okay’ sign with one hand and running his middle finger back and forth through it with the other meaning to bring more dicks, i. e. men, is a little obtuse.
@Hibbleton: From the panels we’ve seen, Mary’s “garden” consists of four raised beds, each about a square yard, with two trellis arches, all surrounded by grass. I’m thinking this isn’t a threat to the local supermarket.
@CanuckDownSouth: Well, he’s wearing an old-school English postal carrier uniform, so there’s that.
FC: Jeffy asks his mom how they’re doing financially so he’ll know whether to pray to Baal or the regular God.
BB: The only strip to feature life in uniform decides to honor a dog on Memorial day. Probably the most respectful scene they could show all characters considered.
@Ettorre: I would refer you to this chart on ethnic origins in my home state. We’re Germans, and we drink like it, dammit!
The field of Kubrickian monoliths, each having suffered a head injury, is honored by Gil Throp.
Hi and Lois: If it’s any comfort, Josh, you’re not the only one: I occasionally have to remind my hospice coworkers that Memorial Day is not the right time to honor veterans on our service. They look at me funny when I tell them we need to do nothing for Memorial Day, nothing!
@BigTed: Slick Smitty is pretty much the only possible perpetrator who even has toes.
The last time the toe print thing was a solution, the perpetrator was Harry Ape, and we learned that gorillas have toe prints too!
@CanuckDownSouth:
GT: Did Gil serve in some still-canon-but-utterly-ignored-now backstory, or is today’s strip stolen valour?
Gil is canonically a former USMC pilot but once a Marine, always a Marine.
DT: Since none of the people shooting are actually sighting their weapons, I supposed there was no reference photo for the artist to use!
Dustin: Wasn’t this how Beetle Bailey ended up in the army?
“Enjoy the food that is served” is some cruel psychological torture, given the complete lack of any food on any plates, no serving platters with anything, etc. OK, there’s beer. Beer is food, right?
Gil Thorp: “Taylor, Callaway, Srixon, you’ve been shanked, you’ve been hooked, God help you, you’ve been sliced. We’ve buried you where you fell in honor of your sacrifice defending our way of life against butch golfers and other threats. There will be no more chunks, no more divots on this hallowed green. May God bless you. We, the few, the proud, and also the Titleists, will take it from here.”
Wizard of Id: Who is next to the king? If you’re going to parody the “run government like a business” fools, do it in front of the true believers.
Gasoline Alley: Gertie may not be an RN but she has the “wake up patient to give them a med they don’t need right now” bit down pat.
MW: A sub and a bottle of pop? Tune in next time when Slick Smitty takes candy from a baby!
Because he’s spiraling, and it’s really affecting his professional ambition.
Blondie: “If you’re trying to not line them up over any of your bikini spots, it’s a great design.”
Dustin: There are plenty of obvious, replacement-level comics for Memorial Day, but this one certainly goes in a different direction.
“And you get two holidays dedicated to you!”
“Wow, I get two days of adulation and praise?”
“Well…one’s sort of on the installment plan.”
FC: Good question, Jeffy. Thel knows that you’re still young enough to be put in the Baby Box at the church, so make this prayer count.
Ah, what the heck. I do a podcast on holiday, y’all, “Happy Horrordays (To You).”
Josh is exactly right, Memorial Day is for remembering people who died in wars. So is Kipling’s story, “The Gardener.” Enjoy!
@Hibbleton: That would be the U.S. (he’s from Arizona), so not far off!
Hi and Lois: Where’s Irma? Is Thirsty the kind of guy who forces his wife to serve him in the kitchen while he quaffs beer after beer, celebrating the service of our nation’s heroes?
That’s a big “yes,” I’m afraid.
Luann: For a strip that downplays the existence of sex, they sure emphasize procreation.
@CanuckDownSouth: GT: I think he’s a WWII vet, Army Air Force maybe?
GT – Every Memorial Day, Gil cosplays as Chairman Mao and pays his respects to the glorious war dead of the Chinese Red Army. Soon, comrades, someday soon we will finally defeat the capitalist running dogs of Valley Tech!
Don Abundio, translated:
“How do you feel about ‘hippies,’ Don Abundio?”
“They’re dirty bums”
“That freeloader should cut his hair and get a job”
[Sign: NATIONAL PARK]
@Lauralot: MW: Dawn is spying on Tommy Beedie from behind a tree. Wilbur spied on Iris Beedie from behing a bush. Like father, like daughter.
***
I’m guessing Dawn has a HUGE bush.
@Hibbleton: Somehow, AI comes off as obnoxiously passive-aggressive.
@Ken: That’s a typical “Harvest Moon” setup there.
GT: Gil was in the service? I look forward to the flashback where we learn the success of Operation Neptune Spear is credited to his coaching of the SEAL Team Six baseball team.
H&L: Hi and Lois’ perfunctory acknowledgement of Memorial Day is like the fine meal Lois has served–a whole lotta nothin’.
Luann: Toni’s whole thing when she was introduced was that she was “not like other girls”–she fixed cars, got a job as a firefighter, and generally was into everything Brad liked (while still being a total babe, of course) so he didn’t have to work too hard at the relationship. Now that they’re married this part of her personality seems to have been forgotten, and she’s settled into generic sitcom suburban wife mode. One could probably write an entire master’s thesis on what this says about Clan Evans’ views of gender roles.
Josh is right about Memorial Day vs Veterans Day. Memorial Day was a solemn day when I was growing up. My mother’s oldest brother was killed in action in Normandy, and every year my grandmother hoped that the peonies would bloom before Memorial Day so she could put some on his grave. She always referred to the day as Decoration Day.
Hi And Lois: The lack of food or Thirsty’s wife (probably bad none of us seems to know her name; I sure don’t), makes me suspect this backyard party is more just Hi and Lois encouraging Thirsty’s raging alcoholism for their own purposes.
@Little Guy: Luann: That’s totally unsurprising to me. Lots of puritans, fundamentalists, conformists, high control groups, corrupt corpos, controlling governments, and assorted other sex-haters make the pointed exception (in public) of only permitting others having it for means of creating new subjects to be controlled and treat sex had for any reason other than cold, mathematical enforcement of their power through population growth as abhorrently wrong. Predictably, these same types are almost always vile sex criminals and predators behind closed doors as part of the abuse that their ideologies and group structures facilitate.
Bringing it back to Luann, the comic hates sex and the people who have it, viewing it as impure and sinful, but immediately switches tunes the second it becomes a matter of increasing the population… or, more likley, of putting people into the nuclear family format and trapping them there for the sake of conformity.
@treetown: On DT – Spray and pray, that’s the Neo-Chicago PD way!
@Little Guy: The Evansii don’t downplay the existence of sex, the ongoing ‘tee hee!’ innuendos such as seen today prove that. What’s downplayed is actually following through on the innuendos, like healthy, mature people sometimes like to do.
BC: Today’s comic reminds me of those old deer crossing road signs. I think they quit making them because drivers never paid attention. Which has me wondering when speed limit signs and stop signs will be next in the dustbin.
BLONDIE: Dag’s not looking at the polka dots.
FC: “Are you and daddy ok for money?” No, PJ. They are raising four kids on a cartoonist’s income. They are NOT ok for money.
H&L: Half of all holidays ever devised are little more than an excuse to drink. Hi and Thirsty (but mostly Thirsty, who didn’t bother to tell his own wife about the picnic) are all too happy to demonstrate this.
JP: “So you only judge people you don’t know?” Ummmm….So do you, Alan. You’re whole career consisted of sitting at the bench, passing sentence on people you didn’t know.
S4th: At least McDonald’s has the sense to package their Happy Meal toys separately. Ray Kroc never stuffed tiny action figures inside a burger.
GT – Those aren’t tombstones, they’re tree stumps of all the conifers felled to produce the newsprint that supported this strip during the bulk of its existence and whose continued survival in the Internet era serves as a type of memorial to those dead trees, though in a ghastly, undead way that bears more than a passing resemblance to a zombie movie.
C’shaft: I hope that was the sound of Crankshaft’s brittle, impossibly aged body being quickly consumed as he finally immolated himself.
Dustin: This Memorial Day, the writers of Dustin want to point out that young men today have little interest in military service, and that this is certainly because they are lazy and selfish and has absolutely nothing to do with growing up in the shadow of a “forever war” or recent actions by the current administration.
FG: This is a bit like Indiana Jones “beating” the Knight of the Grail in single combat because the centuries-old recluse didn’t even have the strength to lift his sword.
JP: “Didn’t your entire career involve judging people you don’t–”
“JUST GIVE MY DAUGHTER A JOB OKAY?!”
MW: In fairness, Dawn’s primary example for personal growth is her dad, so the bar is extraordinarily low.
RMMD: So Maena, who hid out in her mansion for a decade to escape the pressures of stardom, now has those same pressures in addition to the pressures of being a low-paid service employee. This is apparently a happy ending and not some cruel Twilight Zone-esque twist of fate.
SH: So dog parks are just canine S&M clubs?
To be an even bigger pedant, you could point out that the original holidays, Decoration Day and Armistice Day, were built around the idea that war is a bad thing, especially when we fight amongst ourselves, so let’s try to not do this thing again, a message that has been pretty much buried in their successors of Memorial Day and Veterans Day.
GT: Sorry to disagree with you Josh, but actually that’s section M, the long absent hockey team, with MeeMaw. Maybe Horse Girl and the Korean Nightmare.
@TheDiva: On RMMD – Apparently it is, because bear in mind she allegedy still has plenty of money in the bank and her palatial estate (I don’t recall any mention of her having to sell the house for eating money) so she could turn around right now and say it’s been fun cosplaying as a ‘poor’ but she’s tired now and going back home, leaving Mr. Pompadour and Friends high and dry.
Also, I’m going to call it right now. This oddly, unsettlingly specific redhead is going to be a segueway into the next plot. There’s been far too much effort put into his depiction (and the fact that he’s crossed over from a Sunday one-shot into the daillies) for that not to be the case.
Dustin: having lazy boy join the Marines would be an interesting way to provide a change of direction for this stupid strip. Of course it won’t happen.
Of course he could become Beetle Bailey 2.0. Or he could get shipped to a war zone and the strip ends with a letter from the Department of War.
@The Quiet Man: Obsessed fan in the style of Misery? No, too intense for RMMD.
Hmm, maybe he makes a lot of money selling that autographed menu, which is… somehow wrong and requires weeks of characters discussing the legal, moral, and economic aspects of it in excruciating, repetitive detail? That’s the RMMD we all know.
@treetown: I knew a guy who was a concealed/carry instructor at a local gun store. He told me he had to correct the stances and handgun holding positions of way too many young men who watched way too many John Woo and Quentin Tarantino movies. (and multiple viewings of “Scarface” — “say hello to my little friend” is not something you should shout at the gun range. Or in the locker room.)
@Victor Von: I prefer “The War Prayer” by Mark Twain.
Crank: I suppose the nice thing about Battom Thomas weeks never actually reaching a point is that it’s a lovely surprise when it turns out they’ve stopped. I mean, it’d be a lovelier surprise if it wasn’t Loathsome Lillian and The Grill Gag, but I’ll take what I can get.
FG: Sorry, how did that conversation go? “Librarian, all the information in this archive his highly sensitive, but none more so than this document. You must only give it to someone who has proved they can be trusted with it.”
“But how will I know that, Inquisitor?”
“Obviously, by dropping a wall on them! Trustworthy people are either fast or tough!”
Luann: The blank look on Brad’s face isn’t because this is a weird and unsettling conversation — he’s a Luann character, so he’s used to those. No, it’s because the imposter syndrome that I can only assume the entire DeGroot family has at all times (as well they should) is exacerbated by the reminder that he’s not from one of the hereditary Firefighter Families that have been manning this station since 1902. Sure, his descendants will be accepted as part of the gang when they inevitably join the service whether they want to or not, just like Alf’s daughter, but until he reproduces, he’s an outsider.
MW: Okay, seriously, I know that comic time is weird and Tommy hasn’t actually been clean for nine years in-universe. But it’s been a while, right? He’d straightened up long before Iris’s wedding, which Dawn attended, and that wasn’t yesterday! I know I keep harping on about this, but it’s really annoying.
@Victor Von: That’s a great short story, and one that should be better known. Surprising that ol’ sabre-rattler Kipling had the sophistication to use an unreliable narrator, like he was Melville or somebody.
JP: “Okay, so you don’t want to hire any murderers, you wuss. How about a waitress job for my wife, then? I wouldn’t mind getting her out of the house, either.”
@CanuckDownSouth: Canonically, Gil was a Marine aviator, I think.,
@StripEye: Greetings fellow humans!
No beer for Lois! Must keep that svelte figure to keep Hi interested. And it’s so unladylike to quaff a Corona like an adult at a small backyard picnic.
H&L: Thisty and Irma’s marriage must be going really badly. I mean, he’s celebrating a major holiday with another family. I think we should pause and remember their marriage, which died because of his alcoholism. Speaking of which, DRINK UP THIRSTY, YOU DELIGHTFUL DRUNK!
Luann: Judging by the look on Brad’s face, he’s one of those unhappy comic strip characters who have become self-aware and are completely cognizant of the fact their fate is being controlled by … someone else.
GT: Imagine if serialized comic strips like Gil Thorp were actually movies, and one of them just stopped a story cold and took a few seconds to do this. I don’t think anyone would mind. So, movies, how about pausing every now and again to remember our brave veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice?
Not with a bang but a FWOOP!
GT: Gil’s uniform is less USMC than 1950s streetcar operator.
@67 TheDiva: on Crankshaft: Crankshaft decided to give natural gas a try–he lit his own fart.
MW- “Is he finally clean and sober? Do people really heal from their demons? Does he really have yard-wide shoulders and a butt you could strike a match on? Am I really starting to rub my thighs together while I hide behind a tree?”
FRAZZ: Best Memorial Day statement. Unfortunaly, it may be inevitable. Discuss.
Between Friends – Kick him out!
Crankshaft – First, Batiuk dropped Charles Schulz’s name, and now he thinks he’s Don Martin. Dream on.
Loathsome Lillian should recognize FWOOP. That’s the sound Lucille’s soul made when Lil ruined her life.
JP – The judge was in prison because he helped a criminal fake his death. That wouldn’t affect a waiter job. Ann, however, has a lifetime of convictions for grifting and fraud. The diner owner is going to have a real mess on his hands when all the other servers walk out after she steals all of their tips. And that doesn’t even take into consideration her recent history with assault and kidnapping.
FC – Jeffy has a cowboy hat on the chair. Exactly what preschool kids today wear. Maybe he wants to go into roots country.
9CL – This isn’t witty or sophisticated or sexy. It’s day 5,000 of the same tiresome garbage.
Gasoline Alley – Oh, no – please, please, please don’t start singing “Yummy yummy yummy, I got love in my tummy.”
@Hannibal’s Lectern: War was NEVER seen as a good thing.
Even in those shows that glorify the military such as J.A.G and N.C.I.S, they don’t sugarcoat that not only war is hell but being in the military is too.
For example, the protagonist, Rabb. Was featured in a Navy recruitment video, where one of the lines is “It’s a honor and a pleasure to serve”
He quickly tells the writer to redo that line, as it is NOT a pleasure to serve. Because it’s friggin’ war.
@richardf8: In this case, size matters.
@BigTed: It’s true. Shoeing a gorilla is never a pleasant task. And they all seem to want patent leather.
Luann: So, is this Luann’s jump the shark moment? When a TV sitcom reaches that point one of the things the writers will do is have the female characters of child bearing age start pooping out babies. This is to give the show more plot material.
GT: I’ll give points to the artist for giving Gil’s Marine jacket the proper belted waist but his cap is more reminiscent of Zippy the Mailman.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: #77: That’s right, aviator. Navy and Marine flyboys are aviators, not pilots.
GIL THORP: Gil is at the Graveyard of Dropped Subplots. (Gil: “Thank you for your service, Sophomore-suffering-from-steroid-abuse and Girl-who-was-a-cutter and…er…you, Mr. Whatever-trendy-teen-issue-you-were-dealing-with. Your sacrifice of resolved, coherent storylines was not in vain. It helped me look better, more “enlightened.”)
Gil Twerp: Twerp’s plan to use those explosive KAOS golf balls from “Get Smart: I shot 99 today” was a failure, no matter how cheap they were Gil’s thinking “That explosive was made in 1966 it must be harmless by now” was apparently wrong.
“Hey, Bart! Remember ALF? He’s back! In Luann form!”
I’m getting a huuuuuuge kick out of the Judge Parker nonsense here. Without convicts, the restaurant industry collapses. I merrily recall the time the question of if we had any convictions came up, and all five of us on the cook line raised our hands. She wants to be a waitress, a restaurant WILL hire her.
@Professor Well Actually: Dustin: having lazy boy join the Marines would be an interesting way to provide a change of direction for this stupid strip. Of course it won’t happen.
______________________
Ghost of Jim Neighbors: “Its been done.”
The Familliar Mucus: “If not, I’ll put my 10 ounce hat and scarf and rob the bank for you.”
@Peanut Gallery:@Peanut Gallery: Don Abundio, translated:
________________________________________________________
Awwwwww, you cut off the part where Smokey pulls Abundio out of the car and claws him to death for throwing his lit cigar out the window.
@A Grave Mind: Best original line in the unnecessary 1983 remake of To Be Or Not To Be:
Gestapo Officer: “It’s simple, really. We merely want to purge the theatre of Jews and homosexuals.”
Mel Brooks: “Without Jews and homosexuals, there is no theatre!”
@The Rambling Otter: War was NEVER seen as a good thing.
____________________________
I always wonder if the inevitable MASH marathons on Memorial and Veteran’s days are ultimately a tribute or a discrace towards the people being honored.
Snark on Hi and Lois for forgetting that Memorial Day is about honoring those who died in military service; then snark on Gil Thorpe for remembering that Memorial Day Is about honoring those who died in military service. This is the special value you get only from The Comics Curmudgeon! (Can I get my payola now?)
Mary’s Worst: “Do people ever truly heal from their demons?” wonders Tommy’s head demon.
@GarrisonSkunk:
Well, it would do him a whole lot of good, we can’t have THAT, either
@GarrisonSkunk:
Speaking for me, and the couple fellow combat vets I stay in touch with, it doesn’t bother us. I mean, one guy just hates MASH, but he says he always did. The obligatory Band Of Brothers marathons and mattress sales are just what they are to everybody else. We don’t expect everyone to spend the day mulling Deep Feelings, or anything. Most just love the day off. Dumb bastard me, I get a job where I gotta work.
CURTIS: Next up: ketchup mud.
LOLA: He’s a Plugger, but does her acerbic wit prevent Lola from Pluggerdom?
6 Cx: Beware, political comment: my own pet peeve, we didn’t care all day hat much when Iranian civilians were killed nor when Iranian treasures destroyed. But raise price of gas?!?! We must stop the war we started !
LUANN: Shaddup shaddup SHADDUP, jerk coworker! Some of us, meaning me, are very grateful the Bwadoni baby-making keeps being postponed, but you just haaad to go and remind Bwad that he’s supposed to do something about it. Shaddup!
@A Grave Mind: Speaking for me, and the couple fellow combat vets I stay in touch with
___________________________________________
Thank you for your service and your opinions.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Creepy-Vint-Figure-Come-to-Life: “Golly gee willikers, Miss Lorna, I don’t have anything for your to sign. I guess I left all of my merch back in the 1950’s education filmstrip I time-traveled from. (I know this will come as a surprise since I like such a “hip” and “trendy” teen, but you can tell by the way that I call women “Miss (insert first name here)” like all of the modern day cool kids). That’s why imstead of cash I was going to pay you back in wholesome lectures about table manners.”
Dustbin: “Say,its really cool to talk with you, Congrats on making corporal, it must have been extra rough for you, being a fox and all.But tell me how do you wield a lance with those paws?”
LUANN: I take it Toni’s not in this shot because she’s too busy at HR filing sexual harassment claims against her colleagues for gleefully speculating about the fertility of her vagina in a professional setting, yes? (I don’t know why, personally, because as Brad’s expression there indicates, that’s certainly not something that would foster an uncomfortable work environment.)
LUANN: Blond Fire Captain: ” You’ve got news, Alf?”
Alf: “Yes, Amy and I are having a baby girl. I’m sure she’ll be up and eating cats before you know it!”
@GarrisonSkunk: “Only you can prevent forest fires. But only I can maul the Monopoly guy.”
JP: Now look here, Alan. When I judge someone the worst thing that can happen is they don’t get the job. When you judge someone the worst thing that can happen to them is life in prison if not death row.
Hi and Lois – Thirsty has never been to a military cemetery, but is banned from several VFW halls for drinking to much while the guest of a member.
Luann – There have been cases historically, (and most likely currently) where fire departments have were closed institutions, requiring connections, usually familial, to get hired in.
Brad managed to get in during the last “open” era, but as the job market faces threats of AI takeover, the firefighters union is turning to a protective guild. On top of paying dues, Brad is expected to produce future generations of firefighters, less a shortage cause a need for hiring outsiders who might bring in liberal ideas of “merit” and “equal opportunity”.
Dustin: In the USMC a lance corporal falls between a PFC and a full corporal, the lowest rank considered an NCO with any kind of command authority. I thought the recruiting offices used at least sergeants to staff those.
@GarrisonSkunk: #100: It’s MASH or the inevitable war movie marathons.
MW: “I have a dream, Tommy. Trellises. Trellises as far as the eye can see. There’s just one here right now, since the other one you built seems to have disappeared abruptly, but someday, with your steady presence, the fallow expanse before us will be covered with ’em!”
@GarrisonSkunk: #96:
“Ghost of Jim Nabors”
The difference is Dustin would be a totally useless sad sack like Beetle Bailey. Despite his country bumpkin naivete, Gomer Pyle was actually a hard working, dedicated serviceman who always managed to get the job done.
Zits – Brigman, paste this up over your drawing board for reference.
@GarrisonSkunk:
Acknowledgeed, and thanks. Fist bump
@Guillermo el chiclero:
You’re right, they do. Speaking as a guy who was a Lance longer than I should’ve, Recruiting was exactly ZERO option.
@Tabby Lavalamp:
What a coincidence, that’s what I like to do on my days off!
Late Thread Cuisine: Another recipe with an unexpected ingredient. Theoretically, it’s visible in the photo, unlike the rice and tuna in yesterthread’s Cuisine.
@Baja Gaijin: White asparagus, be still my heart. This must be a European recipe card. I look forward to chanterelles on the menu tomorrow night.
Luann: Not to worry, breakfast clubbers, after years of marriage Brad has not yet managed to locate the right hole. This is why Toni slips him a mickey every night at dinner.
@Baja Gaijin: I wonder what this community’s reaction to veal will be. I personally like it, being a charter member of People for the Eating of Tasty Animals (PETA). I do know that the concept of veal is revolting to some.
@Baja Gaijin: Cuisine – Bacon?
It struck me that the asparagus and sauce look like yellowish disembodied hands on top of the veal.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: I like veal, but I avoid eating it. I don’t find it revolting, but I do feel uncomfortable about it. However, it’s not an issue for me, because I prefer fish and seafood or vegetarian dishes. Not a vegetarian, but I like vegetarian food.
Nothing about veal is good except the taste. Not worth the mental baggage for me.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m trying to figure out what’s under the glooped asparagus – prosciutto? radicchio? those weird fake-crab-leg fish things?
Luann: We’ve abruptly cut from a plot about two people who will never have sex to a plot about two people who will never have sex.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: it tastes delicious, but as I see a couple of others have said, I avoid buying it.
I know, I know—my logic is nonsensical. I won’t eat a baby cow, but I’ll eat an adult one. At some point my conscience is going to force me to give up eating animals altogether. Sigh…
@124 Ukulele Ike: It looks like spargel, true. The recipe is American as far as I can tell. They probably chose the lighter colored asparagus because it photographs better.
@126 I speak Jive: Surprisingly, no bacon in this dish.
@129 CanuckDownSouth: Damnit! Third guess got it right! Yes, crab leg meat. For the recipe, King crab, not “krab.” Close enough for me.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Anyway (and this is true), as a Canadian, I have a dentist appointment today. Enjoy your day off while I have someone I barely know stick things into my mouth.
The doctor who performed my most recent colonoscopy is very possibly gay. I enjoyed phrasing news to friends about my imminent procedure in similarly titillating ways.
RMMD: Say, Lorna. Is the mens restroom still Fonzie’s office? I need some dating advice.
@UncleJeff: Not 1920s Pinkerton?
@Tabby Lavalamp: You are far, far more entertaining on the day of your dental appointment than I ever am on any days of any of my body-function appointments. I bow.
@Baja Gaijin:
Who doesn’t love rocket veal?
You gotta get started real early to come up with a way to ruin something as yummy as veal.
@Baja Gaijin: Well, the white asparagus is front and center, under the sauce pretending to be hollandaise. But I wonder, is that red thing with a whitish core a crab leg or a rhubarb stalk?
@138 richardf8: The sauce pretending to be hollandaise is Mornay sauce. The red thing is a King crab leg. Good eye!
Shoe: Why does Cosmo keep going to that fortune teller/curse- mistess? Her crystal ball runs on Win26! even Granny Creeps has updated.
@A Grave Mind: So you’re saying the creators of Dustin put as much thought into how military recruitment works as they do into how the practice of law works? I’m shocked.
@Guillermo el chiclero: @GarrisonSkunk: #100: It’s MASH or the inevitable war movie marathons.
__________________________
At least the war movies don’t come with laugh tracks.
@Baja Gaijin:
#123. To contribute to your poll, as a farm kid I know all meat has a face. I try not to eat animals who have not had a chance to grow up and have a chance to exercise. Today, I ate a delicious oatmeal burger!
@Ukulele Ike: I think you’re being sarcastic in your depiction of Kipling, but the man wasn’t nearly as one-dimensional or jingoistic as his detractors (both Orwell and Chesterton among them) claimed he was.
@Rube:
Who would’ve thought????
@Baja Gaijin: if you made this with any other meat but veal, and replaced the soggy-looking yellow asparagus with grilled baby asparagus served on the side of the meat, this would be pretty good. Could you post the ingredients?
@146 brendancalling: Ingredients:
@Tom: In fairness, though, I think Orwell loved him. He just couldn’t quite admit it.
Ugh. RIP, Sonny Rollins.
Jazz is officially dead.
MW: Dawn takes after her dad vis-a-vis watching a one-sided love interest from hiding. But she takes after her mom vis-a-vis not keeping a dead pet in the freezer.
Gassed Up Alleycats: “I need something yummy in my tummy, I already ate a bitty of the kitty.”
@I speak Jive: Waaait a minute, Alan helped a criminal fake his own DEATH?? I’ve been following JP for a couple of decades, so how is it that I don’t even…never mind. “She spent hours of her life reading comic strips and then forgetting the stories” is something I hope won’t show up in my obit, but I’m grateful I won’t be around if it does.
@UncleJeff: I’m always adding to my reading list, Unca Jeff! Thanks!
Last year, it was “One of the Missing,” by Ambrose Bierce. Sort of Twain’s more cynical, angrier cousin.
@Ukulele Ike: He was quite a jingoist, wasn’t he, Ike? Even when he was writing outright propaganda, though, he was weirdly nuanced. “Mary Postgate” is transparently anti-German, but it’s not like he makes Mary or the villagers look good there.
I think his son’s death in WW1 changed him in some important ways. That’s definitely the experience driving “The Gardener.”
@Guillermo el chiclero: It’s the beginning of the end for the show. Kids are annoying, only clutter up the place, and you can’t do anything with them on the show until they’re old enough to smart off one-liners or do something interesting as teenagers.