The Spice Girls would hit that town like an atomic bomb
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Beetle Bailey, 6/27/26
Beetle looks like he’s in a great mood in panel two, and honestly, why wouldn’t he be? He got a pass into town and all he had to do to get it was agree to run a quick errand for his friend — an errand that honestly seems pretty fun in and of itself. Who doesn’t like going to the bakery? They have pastries there!
Andy Capp, 6/27/26
The question of what year Andy Capp takes place in is still, in my opinion, a live one, but perhaps it’s best phrased as “Yes, it’s 2026, but what year is Hartlepool in, culturally?” Disco may be the new hotness today, but the UK’s probable next Prime Minister is from the North, so I am confident that he’ll uplift this forgotten backwater at least to the point where they’re aware of the Oasis/Blur feud.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/27/26
I’m still not afraid to point out that Mother Goose and Grimm is more and more often using widely known, decades-old jokes as its punchlines, though I have to admit that these dogs’ extremely grave facial expressions give this tired line an interesting twist. “Do it, Grimm,” says Ralph. “Put the gun in your mouth, if you’re serious about this.”
32 replies to “The Spice Girls would hit that town like an atomic bomb”
MG&G:
“What should I do?”
“Aw, nothing. Their bark is worse than their bite!”
FC: “Great question, Jeffy! I’d say ‘the little koala on the changing table’ but that was thirty pounds ago. Oh, that reminds me, I have to buy more diapers for you.”
Zits: Next, on Zits After Dark, Jeremy tunes in Tokyo. Yes, it’s unusual that a teen nowadays knows about shortwave radio, but he’s an old soul.
DtM: In which we find out that Dennis’ outgoingness is simply a mask for a kid who’s actually pretty far on the spectrum. Problem is, by the time I pass from this mortal coil, Dennis still won’t grow into the older man with a way too large model train installation.
H&L: Gawd, this really is a stickler. I’m old enough to remember when every new house build in the USA wasn’t under the bootheel of an HOA. But there’s a limit to everything, Thirsty. Hi, this is what spite fences were invented for.
RMMD:
“She’s miming violin playing?”
“Girl, you know it’s true! You’d better forget her number.”
Andy Capp:
“I’m here for a dramatic reading of some Dante.”
“No. Don’t say it, mate.”
“Yep. Disco ‘Inferno‘ !”
CRAAAAAAAASSSSHHHH
JP: ‘When your a Parker-Spencer-Driver, you can just grab ’em by the p****y. They just let you do it!’
(Seriously, look where Abbey’s arms are leading and tell me that isn’t what she’s doing!!)
JP: Are we sure Charlotte is CIApril’s kid? Abbey’s showing that same terrifying open-mouth smile Charlotte gave when she thought she was getting a pet squirrel.
CS: Welp, that’s a wrap people! Dinkle Sr. had one moment of shining glory, then it was all downhill from there! Literally, as he careened through the fence at the future Bull Bushka Curve because he was so stinking drunk because he was so depressed at Elvis taking the food from his mouth.
RMMD: That’s right Sarah Plain and Tall! Sneer at those Poors! In fact, why don’t you just walk right up to them, snap that instrument over your knee, kick in that amp, then punch both of them in the head? When the cops come, they’ll arrest them and apologize to you!
GT: Who are these people, and why aren’t they either engaged in Sportsball or self-righteously complaining about the state of the world?
MG&G: Well, if today’s lesson was “Play Dead”, then Grimmy would have a decent excuse to miss it.
Luann: Ladies and gentlemen, the reason this ‘pregnancy’ storyline is going down the memory hole after this week.
Luann 2: The next words out of both their mouths was ‘I’ll get the coat hanger!!’
B. Bailey: In the background, Gen. Halftrack drives his off-strip pal Mr. Magoo away from his latest misadventure, i. e. mistaking Camp Swampy for a zoo and specifically, throwing peanuts at Sgt. Snorkel.
MW: Tommy’s moving up in the world. He now curates the Pop Art section of his tech-billionaire step-daddy’s art collection. Each cereal box is individually hand-painted. His next task is to stack cans of Merda d’Artista in the Shock Art section.
Beetle Bailey: C’mon, Beetle, you know Sarge is going to give you that pass — it’s the only item on his desk! Surely he must have some work to do in his role as a first-line supervisor responsible for the health, discipline, and daily training of junior enlisted soldiers… but apparently he can’t start on any of it as long as his thoughts are dominated by a chocolate eclair.
Mother Goose and Grimm: The whole point of “obedience school” is to make a dog submit to his owner. Is that really the kind of relationship that Mother Goose has to Grimm? If so, Grimm had better stop playing hooky — he clearly needs many more years of study!
Hi and Lois: It’s always funny when they acknowledge the vast acreage of yard space these land-rich suburbanites own… yet Thirsty chooses to place his lounging-and-drinking chair right next to Hi’s property line. How long until Hi realizes that the crabgrass and insects hiding in the Thurstons’ untamed lawn (not to mention whatever creature those scary eyes belong to) are making their way over to his own side — not to mention his unwashed neighbor’s funky personal scent wafting over? Eventually that little fence will be turned into a 10-foot security barrier, and these two mismatched buddies will only be able to spend time together at work and on the golf course and while visiting each other’s homes.
Mary Worth: “Tommy’s self-esteem is really low. I mean, he’s placing the generic cereal boxes on the higher shelves, and the more expensive name-brand ones at the bottom. That goes against decades of carefully researched grocery-store shelving science, and is clearly the sign of a sick mind!”
@The Quiet Man:
Also : If Bwad and Toni thought that a child they conceived in LATE JUNE was going to be born in EARLY-TO-MID-JANUARY, well… One runs out of ways to say “These two idiots have absolutely no knowledge about how having a kid works”, in face of constantly piling up evidence.
MG&G — “What should I do?’
“Call in dead.”
“That’s terrible advice!”
“Well, who do I look like, Mary Worth?”
“Kinda.”
Andy Capp:
Andy drifts into unconsciousness as the strident syllabifications of Jean Knight’s “Mr. Big Shot (Who Do You Think You Are?)” emerge from the disco.
I expected the “Spice Girls” title was a reference to the fast-paced RMMD action, where June has for the fourth — fifth? — time said that the twins aren’t really playing the music. Good news, though — Sarah has finally caught on, and is as outraged as her mother. Stay tuned for next week’s action, as Sarah crosses the parking lot to confront the two.
AC: Frankly I think the gay disco club should have been more supportive. I mean sure, Andy isn’t exactly a catch, but he deserves to have a place where he can be himself! (Note: “himself” is a drunken, lazy lout.)
BB: You’re telling me our service men and women don’t have regular access to bread products? We used to be a country!
Luann Did something bump an April week of strips? Because there’s “bad at math”, and then there’s “can’t count to 9 using his fingers” and I was *hoping* a firefighter like Brad who might have to clear a burning building of a known number of occupants would be required to do better than *that*
Blondie Wait – is a legacy strip allowed to acknowledge that societal standards have moved on so things like being literally beaten by your boss aren’t funny anymore? Can somebody please tell the married couples in Beetle Bailey and the Lockhorns that there’s this newfangled acceptable thing called “divorce”?
Wary Morth:
For a wild moment I thought it was “Tommy can go down on himself”.
___________________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
“Of course it stinks, you’ve been holding in that bubble since we left home!”
Family Circus Mashup: There’s a reason your picture isn’t on a bathroom door.
MGG-Grimm’s got to play dead? But he missed the day it was taught.
BB-Leave the gun. Take the cannoli
C’shaft: So basically Batiuk saw Forever Plaid, in which a 50’s close-harmony group is literally a victim of changing tastes when they’re killed by a busload of girls traveling to see the Beatles perform on Ed Sullivan and who want to give one final concert before passing to the great beyond, and said “what if that, but grim, joyless, humorless and without all the uplifting, nostalgic songs?”
Dustin: I’m starting to think the number of strips involving male characters being insulted by women is less a result of misogyny and more an unhealthy masochistic outlet.
MT: They’re being sarcastic, right? There’s no way this dialogue makes sense with that body language unless they’re being heavily and cruelly sarcastic.
MW: “….and me, of course.”
Pluggers are in the early stages of dementia.
RMMD: Look, that girl spent long hours learning to mime along to Lindsey Stirling’s “Crystalize,” got matching outfits and haircuts for her and her twin, and hauled her electric violin kit out to the Aldi parking lot in the middle of summer; she’s put more effort into this ruse than anyone in the Morgan family has exerted in the past several story arcs and I think she deserves credit for that.
Mark Trail: Punkinhead and the duo of dorks just achieved their “Wilbur Weston Lurking Behind Bushes to Eavesdrop” badge.
Mary Worth: A whole cereal aisle and zero boxes of Splak!? I call shenanigans.
Phantom: I love it! They showed the big bad criminal getting kicked in the face by the young blond!
@Baja Gaijin:
Now I’m once again wondering how Thel gave birth to these melonheads.
Murky Tail:
I’m pretty sure Rusty’s friends can find him, just by smell.
These three, on the other hand…..
@Ken:
A little-known factoid is that Mary Worth herself was one of the original Spice Girls. She was the only Spice Girl to have two distinct (and alliterative) sobriquets: “Meddlesome” Spice and “Malodorous” Spice.
Luann: Presumably, these two have been having intercourse all along. What makes them think that this time Brad has shot off a ‘loaded bullet’, so to speak? Did the couple hook up their shower to a tank of holy water?
RMMD: Wow, talk about your tough crowds!
DtM: Hard to believe that the Mitchells still aren’t on the citywide Do Not Visit list.
H&L: Unfortunately, whatever is in the bushes doesn’t look big enough to devour Thirsty.
BB “…I gotta get something to get that taste out of my mouth.. “
@9 BigTed: on Beetle Bailey: “…but apparently he can’t start on any of it as long as his thoughts are dominated by a chocolate éclair.” A chocolate éclair, as in a single unit? No, this is Sergeant Orville “Bottomless Pit” Snorkel: he’s jonesing for at least a dozen pastries.
DtM: Looks like this couple won’t be able to enjoy the full hour they paid for.
FC: Thel has to explain why public toilets don’t have a
doggyJeffy door.So even ignoring the WWII / Swing Era stuff that implies we’re dealing with spry dozen-decades-old folks, is Crankshaft ever going to make sense? There’s the one great night at Starlight… where they didn’t return from intermission. Speculation Dinkle Sr died then is contradicted by this journal reminiscing about the “magical evening” (where they didn’t complete their set or debut their new song??). There’s the bit about alcohol abuse. And seeing rock and roll make them feel like never-was (except they had that Starlight success). Maybe Sunday they’ll have the time-travelling janitor come by to sweep up the plot mess.
Flash Gordon is still bugging me about why Fria would have Vultan at liberty but for *that* strip I have some hope that the upcoming meeting between them and Flash will note some kind of not-completely-crazy arrangement with the conquered Hawks. (But I still don’t think Fria’s dumb enough to accept any promise or oath or lie that the Hawk machinations were all doddering daddy’s fault.)
@21 Ukranazi Stepan: Thel holds the world’s record for “Largest Episiotomy Scar.”
@23 Bob Tice: “Malodorous” Spice. That explains why Posh Spice’s face always looks like she’s smelling something terrible.
Today’s Andy Capp, got me thinking to an old Simpson’s joke, where Homer (looking for Marge who was kidnapped by a biker gang) enters a biker bar.
Homer: Hello, I’m looking for…
(Instantly cuts to him laying on the pavement outside)
He gets up and goes back in: I really need some h…
(instantly cuts to him laying on the pavement again)
MG&G – Grimm can speak English and use a land line. Unless he’s using those skills to stage a coup against Mother Goose, obedience school seems superfluous.