I assume that’s Splitscreen’s hype man behind him
Post Content
Dick Tracy, 8/6/26
So it seems that Dick’s latest antagonist, the VPN-happy “Widescreen,” is in fact a nepo antagonist and the son (or something) of Splitscreen, an avatar of an earlier age of screen-based crime. Whenever you get a reveal like this in Dick Tracy, you gotta immediately turn to the invaluable Dick Tracy wiki where you’ll learn that Splitscreen is in fact a villain from the ’80s, that his known associates are “V.H. Hess” and “Maxie Beta,” and that his real name Ed Vio is an anagram for “video.” Makes you think! Anyway, at least Splitscreen had the dignity to wear a suit and tie, unlike his slob of a son. The decline in formality in screen-themed villains really says a lot about society, in my opinion.
Luann, 8/6/26
Oh, huh, this is interesting, because I always assumed that Luann … was already a full-time student? Her academic status is as puzzling as her relationship status????
38 replies to “I assume that’s Splitscreen’s hype man behind him”
DT: The suit of the goofy villain was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.
Everyone must make sacrifices and suffer for Luann’s sake. It’s like she’s Christ, except the opposite — there must be a quicker way to say that
Dick Tracy:
” ‘Quasimodo‘ — why is that name ringing a bell, Lizz?”
Dick Tracy:
“Ed” looks like Ernest Borgnine on acid. With Roger C. Carmel right behind him.
Dick Tracy:
“Okay, a little off-topic, Lizz, but has anyone ever told you that you look like Natashe Fatale of ‘Boris and Natasha’ from The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends show, only with a different hairdo?”
Mary Worth:
“Tommy…I want to apologize. Now mind you, I’m far too indolent, and not nearly forthright enough, to go hunting you down to deliver that apology. But since you’ve barged in, anyway, and I’m already here to begin with — well, heck, I might as well say it to you.”
Dick Tracy : *reads up* Oh, he went catatonic from being forced to stop constantly watching TV cold turkey while in prison? Lame! That’s not even “accidentally completely mindwiped by amnesia machine” or “watch exploded, fell down hole”, to say nothing of “eaten alive by rats”!
***************
Heart of the City : I thought Heart was the LEAST “anime” of her friend circle, yet she’s this into proper ramen shop etiquette?
**************
Luann :
1) Josh, Luann practically gave up college after Phil said something like “Only an idiot wastes their lives spending an eternity in college, instead of immediately getting a full-time job like I did”, and applied to the first job opening she found (fast food restaurant table wiper, which she found out about because the clerk taking her order got into a screaming match with the manager and quit on the spot). She was working a dead-end job she hated entirely to impress Phil with how good she was at “adulting”, while what little classes she still attended was essentially a “What do you want to be when you grow up?” workshop.
2) Hey, I’ve got an idea; sure, Frank is a heartless skinflint bastard who loves hiding how much money he actually makes so he can refuse to spend a single penny on his family, but I think he’s REALLY eager for Luann to finally move out, so why not ask him to front a year’s worth of rent (or at least the part that’s missing from Luann not making enough money to pay her half)?
***************
On the Fastrack : sorry, but the BEST visual metaphor for “system being barely held together by out-of-date-software” has already been made.
DT: Oh no, it’s the Film Pirate! And there’s a second guy in that panel. Could it be? Yikes! It’s the Guy Whose Library Books Are Overdue!
FC-Nice tribute to the Comics Curmudgeon.
MW-Wilbur is on step 9, making amends.
LUANN: So, Luann is going to be a teacher. She’s definitely doing it. She’s got this. It’s a done deal. The die is cast.
GT: They omitted “speak now or forever hold your peace,” from the vows, but neglected to muzzle Ma Thorp for the reception.
H&L: The day Ditto learns about slack-fill is the day his childhood ends.
RMMD: Uncle Rene-Jimmy is no fool. If Thing One and Thing Two attempt a kidnapping, he’ll throw them under the bus in a hot minute in exchange for a reduced sentence.
MW: “Aw, thanks, Mr Weston. Now I feel kind of bad that I deflated your tires and told the IRS that you warranted a look-see.”
@Schroduck:
“the sky over the port was the color of television, turned to a dead channel” – from Neuromancer by William Gibson
DT: “ICE STATION?” Dick’s getting into a new area, and I’m not sure I want to follow.
@MKay:
LUANN: So, Luann is going to be a teacher. She’s definitely doing it. She’s got this. It’s a done deal. The die is cast.
She’s definitely not going to give up on it ENTIRELY at the first setback/distraction THIS TIME!
What dream is Phil dumping? The dream of convenient access to Luann for sexual purposes?
@Bob Tice: Funny, I always thought her name was Natasha Nogoodnik.
Edit: Fatale sounds way WAY cooler though.
JP: Is April will be going to Neddy’s but Sophie has taken Charlotte back to the ranch and now is wandering looking at tombstones. Will it take several weeks before this is resolved? Or could Neddy simply call Sophie and give her April’s number. Or even simpler give April Sophie’s number.
MW: Wilbur does not rise because while he has thrown off his addiction of that demon rum, he know self medicates with calming soothing pharmaceuticals that quiet his mind.
Gil: More and more, have to believe the strips were run out of sequence. Flying off in the biplane has to be the conclusion of the marriage arc.
MW: Good to see Dawn finally has a job — as (record scratch) Wilbur’s interpreter?
Gasoline Alley: Oh, no. Another instantly-in-love dog/cat pairing. I predict synchronized pet yoga in a future strip.
Dick Tracy:
Splitscreen is described a “film pirate”, which seems awfully low-stakes for Dick’s usual adversaries. I suspect that even Dick found his crimes insufficiently violent and exciting and didn’t bother actually investigating him, which is why he barely even remembers his name. Instead of police persecution, Splitscreen was taken out by the obsolescence of his beloved analog media. The Dick Tracy creative team thinks they need to update the concept for the digital age with “Widescreen”, but it would have made just as much sense to bring back Splitscreen himself now that hipsters all affect a love of retro media formats. With his old-school AV club connections, he could’ve cornered the black market of LaserDiscs and new-old-stock VCRs.
@matt w:
No, you see, because Luann says she can’t move in with him NOW, that means he has to give up on it permanently! That’s how it works; if something fails because of any circumstance, that means it’s never going to work EVER, and you should give up on it PERMANENTLY. It doesn’t matter how temporary the circumstance was, or how you could simply adjust the plan to take the circumstance into account and have it NOT fail!
Luann:
Note that this strip implies that while Luann’s dream is to become a teacher and inspire children with a love of learning that will stay with them for the rest of their lives, Phil’s dream is to live under the same roof as a woman.
Luann just got herself promoted to Weenie Hut manager for the sole purpose of living with Phil, and now she doesn’t have time for either all of a sudden because an off-screen summer camp inspired her to change her career. She needs more time for school, but the only class we’ve seen her take is Career Paths, and she failed the only assignment we’ve seen her do. You’re dodging a bullet, Phil. Please just step back and let it whiz by.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Luann just got herself promoted to Weenie Hut manager
I know the way I talk about Luann involves hyperbole and exaggeration, and sometimes misrepresent the strip, but I try to avoid talking about stuff that didn’t happen.
And Luann proving competent enough at her job to get promoted to MANAGER (wasn’t it just ASSISTANT manager)!? No, that didn’t happen, Luann THOUGHT it was going to happen, but there didn’t seem to be any reason to believe it would.
…At least, IIRC, maybe I missed something, and she DID get the promotion?
In this day and age, a Film Pirate is hardly villain material. It’s about as menacing as “Ed Vio, the guy who refused to be kind and rewind” would have been 30 years ago.
DT: Imagine walking around in real life, when you see a man whose suit is somehow made of static. It’s buzzing and glitching and generally violating all the laws of fabric, sewing, and good taste. There would be so many crashes as people take their eyes off the road to stare. This is why television and cars don’t mix.
@20 Anonymous: “…if something fails because of any circumstance, that means it’s never going to work EVER, and you should give up on it PERMANENTLY.” AKA “The Gilligan’s Island Theorem.”
@22 Banana Jr. 6000: How could you forget the years and years of Luann taking Art 101 with Professor Flamboyant?
@Austria: Right “Remember our old ‘friend’ Ed Vio, who we shot for making unauthorized copies of videos?” “Oh yeah, the Civilian Review Board almost chose further investigation on that one.”
Serious Reply To Josh: Luann has been attending community college, though I don’t remember if she’s been going part- or full-time. Presumably, becoming a teacher means going to a more expensive four-year school, and no one in her universe has ever heard of student loans for things like rent.
DT: Ironically, Splitscreen would not in fact steal a car.
Luann: Forgive me if it’s been mentioned in the comic*, but what exactly are Phil’s living conditions now? Does he also live with his parents despite being a skilled medical worker (a depressingly valid possibility in this day and age) or does he have his own place? If so, why does he want to move to a different place with a roommate? It made sense when he was looking at high-end luxe apartments with all the amenities, but then he was willing to settle (geddit, cause the complex is called “The Settlers,” hyuck hyuck) for a cheaper campus-adjacent place which is probably no better than what he has now and possibly worse, if only because he would be sharing it with Luann.
*In my defense, Phil is not interesting enough for me to care about his backstory.
Luann’s dream is to become a teacher in the mid-21st century. She’s never going to be able for afford rent, Phil.
Way to hang a lantern on Comic Book Time, Dick Tracy! I don’t know why you wanted us to ask how old DT is – whether he’s a ’30s cop, an ’80s cop, or a 2020s cop – but we’re asking it now! Or maybe he’s secretly the latest in a line of identical, short-lived Tracys? Like one of the Replicants from Blade Runner, but yellow?
Forget the VPN mystery, kids, I think I’m onto something BIG.
@Vulpes: Splitscreen is described a “film pirate”, which seems awfully low-stakes for Dick’s usual adversaries. I suspect that even Dick found his crimes insufficiently violent and exciting and didn’t bother actually investigating him, which is why he barely even remembers his name.
Yeah, if anything, he seems like he should be a Rex Morgan, MD villain.
This week, it’s less that Luann’s dialogue is unnatural and more that she’s striking a blow against the concept of language. Good for her?
C’shaft: Good job capturing the “you think I’m going to let you use MY phone to sort this out? Think again, you walking insurance risk” expression on Pam’s face.
Dustin: Everyone in Dustin has the mentality of an eight-year-old. This explains a great deal.
MW: “No, no, I get it, he’s a self-absorbed dick with no empathy. Nothing we didn’t know before.”
Phantom: Special cameo appearance by Rex Morgan’s Fergus “Mud Mountain” Murphy.
RMMD: What fascinates me about the Doublemint Twins is their Count Weirdly-esque willingness to not only engage in any form of malfeasance be it great (high-end shoplifting, kidnapping) or small (petty busking grift, persistently deadnaming their uncle), but to do it all within a highly localized area to a fairly small group of people, even though this increases their risks of being recognized in one of their schemes (especially since they kind of stand out in the memory, what with being IDENTICAL TWINS and all).
MW: Thank goodness Wilbur is a socially inept, clueless, self-centered boor, or he’d be made very uncomfortable by Tommy and Dawn’s extremely intense eye contact right now.
@Anonymous: I’m a teacher. Luann couldn’t handle my job. Because she’s stupid and doesn’t know anything about anything.
I’m trying to picture a grade in which Luann wouldn’t get eaten alive by her students. High school and middle school kids would destroy her. Elementary school kids would outsmart her. Kindergarteners and Pre-K would ignore her. I think she might be able to handle pre-verbal infants.
This Dick Tracy thing is making me want to write fanfiction where Widescreen feels trapped by his father’s dork ass legacy but also he’s too fat to get into sports based villainy and to broke to go the Lex Luthor route so he’s here, using VPNs to catfish old women or whatever.