I think it’s weird that Slylock enforces laws about both deceptive advertising practices and major felonies
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Slylock Fox, 8/3/26
I have no idea what the relationship is between Count Weirdly and the little purple being who’s always hanging around his workplace/castle — is it his creation? his adopted child? his [gulp] biological child? was it spawned by some unnatural process that doesn’t fall into any of those three categories cleanly but falls into all of them in part? — but clearly it views the count in a paternal light, and it’s pretty devastating that it’s so excited to show off the Count’s supposedly legitimate business enterprise to Slylock, only for the Fox Detective to immediately debunk the whole scam. Also, unrelated, but I’ve never really had much reason to contemplate whether Weirdly was wearing anything under his trademark shapeless nightgown, but the very vivid buttrack on display here implies that he probably isn’t.
Crock, 8/3/26
The past is in fact another country, as this Crock strip from 1998 demonstrates. Sure, the idea of a boy baby aggressively hitting on a girl baby and being punished for it is timeless, but why is the girl named “Cyber”? Was this the setup to a joke about computers that turned out to be too hard to execute so they fell back on the classics, or did the Crock creative team in 1998 simply say “What are they naming girl babies these days? Cyber, right? That’s a word I hear a lot but I don’t know what it means, so it’s probably a girl’s name.”
The Lockhorns, 8/3/26
I spent some time trying to parse Leroy’s facial expression here and the conclusion I came to is that it’s supposed to represent “sophisticated horny.” Like he’s thinking, “Ah, yes, women’s beach volleyball … the intellectual’s sport. You get to enjoy athletes at the top of their game demonstrating their prowess at leaping and spiking the ball, all in a beautiful seaside setting. And if one of these statuesque competitors were to engender a pleasant feeling of arousal in me while I watched? Well, I’m mostly trying to keep tabs on various stats to see how my fantasy team is doing, but that would be an added bonus.”
132 replies to “I think it’s weird that Slylock enforces laws about both deceptive advertising practices and major felonies”
GT: Call the police. Also, when you learn that a madman who has declared himself your mortal enemy has kidnapped your bartenders to take their place, maybe don’t drink the cocktail he’s prepared for you?
Crock:
“If I said you had a beautiful onesie, would you hold it against me?”
THWACK
Slylock: If Count Weirdly uses the universal solvent to dissolve the apparently sentient blob of ooze on his wall, will Slylock charge him for murder?
Slylock Fox:
Looking at the wall, I can see where the oobleck from Dr. Seuss’ Bartholomew and the Oobleck went.
Slylock Fox:
If American folk artist Edward Hicks had done The Unpeaceable Kingdom, it would have ended up looking like pretty much every Slylock Fox tableau.
Crock: [Thought balloon] How can I work a Cyber attack into a strip about the stone age? ….. Got it!
Sfx Loys going on in this scene but I really love that little blob on the wall that seems super jazzed to see Slylocks. I guess when you aoend your days oozing around a mad scientists dungeon you don’t get many visitors.
Lhs You know, I really doubt that Leroy is interested in meticulously following the points of individual volleyball players, so Im going to assume that ‘fantasy volleyball league’ is something else entirely, perhaps powered by whichever AI engine still allows you to do nudity….
Slylock Fox : that creature holding the bottle of water… that’s not Count Weirdly having tried his hand at making a Frankenstein Creature, that’s an uplifted Animal Count Weirdly brought back down by giving it a LOBOTOMY!
Slylock: Water is “often” referred to as the universal solvent? I guess. I mean, I’ve never heard anyone call it that. But maybe the writer of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids is hanging out with a more intellectual crowd.
Crock: Ah, this comic takes me back to a time when the pickup lines starting with “What’s a nice girl like you …” were only 30-40 years out of date instead of 60-70 years out of date.
‘horns: Loretta, if you catch Leroy smiling lasciviously at his laptop computer, you had better hope he’s just leering at female volleyball players. This is a best case scenario.
ShyFox — Fortunately no Real World influencers read the comics. If they did, my spam email accounts would be inundated in three, two, one . . .
LockedDown — At last, thought Leroy. Somewhere on the Internet that I can gaze at a plethora of young, fit, scantily-clad women. Why didn’t anyone think of this before?
Children of Crock — A sandbox in the Sahara is an absurdity. Wouldn’t it consist of some arbitrary barriers plopped down in some random spot with no distinction between inside and outside? Of course, given that the artist is too lazy to draw them we’ll never know. . .
Slylock Fox: I’ve always assumed that that thing was M. le Comte’s enormous, semi-autonomous scrotum.
SLYLOCK: The seemingly sentient snot blob on the wall is concerning.
LOCKHORNS: I’m getting more of a “had a stroke while ogling bouncing boobs” vibe.
Slylock is concerned about deceptive trade practices, but not the fact that Weirdly practices brain surgery on one of his minions. It’s no longer human law, but it’s still bourgeois law
I used to have sympathy for people deceived by quacks, thinking they were simply uninformed, but then I have seen how they are eager to believe anything and hostile to debunkers and fact-checkers. What I am saying is, fuck them Count, take all their money or some other fraudster will!
Slylock Fox:
“Slylock, let me ask you this: since Count Weirdly basically exists to be involved in one criminal caper after another, why don’t you just see to it that he’s locked up for good?”
“That’s simple, Max. I’d be out of a job if I did that!”
Count Weirdly has a castle with ray guns and all kinds of weird creature minions and he’s spending his time trying to scam $200? The property taxes alone on that castle have to be at least 5 figures
GT: “You know that’s kidnapping.” “Who do you think you are, Slylock Fox?”
JP: “We’re back home, and…. why do the past 40 years seem more different than I remember?”
yDT: Dick Tracy, Sanitation Worker.
FG: Ming chuckles as he continues to script out the current storyline.
Slylock Fox: Even mad scientists now have occupational health therapists warning them that they’re sitting too close to the computer screen. Although someone should really tell Weirdly that he’s going to get terrible back pain on that non-ergonomic stool.
Lockhorns: Some people would get aroused from watching fit young women in swimwear jumping around. But not Leroy. No, he has a much more elaborate fetish. He can only get off looking at spreadsheets of numbers relating to said fit young women in swimwear jumping around. The Orlando Valkyries are beating their ace ratio by 4.2 percentage points on the 2025 season? Oh yeahhhhhh, Leroy’s going need a cold shower.
@Lauralot: This could’ve been a “Ha ha! I slipped the bar tenders a $100 to let me behind the bar! Congratulations, I can’t wait to beat you next season!” But instead has turned into a deranged felony.
SFx: Slylock deduced correctly that it is a bottle of water. However, with data centers and climate change causing massive droughts, the bottle of water is correctly priced at $200.
@Joe Blevins: Crock: Are there even “places like this” for nice girls to be in anymore? Haven’t they all been gentrified into gastropubs?
Lockhorns: Why haven’t you eaten your sandwich? ….and where’s my hand lotion?
FC: Tight short shorts and shaved legs aside, it’s hard to go cruising with four kids.
Looking at how many of his servants have had their skulls cut open Count Weirdly has obviously watched the Jordan Peele movie “Get Out”
Pugfuggly: “I really doubt that Leroy is interested in meticulously following the points of individual volleyball players”
I don’t know, I think that probably does describe his interest quite well.
The Lockhorns: I dunno, Josh. Leroy is giving me “drunk, as usual” vibes. Possibly “gotten food poisoning from that sandwich, but wearing Depends so no big deal.”
Shoe: Whenever the character Biz is mentioned by name I’m reminded of the rapper Biz Markie and even though he’s dead now I don’t think it’s a good look to be joking about dating younger women
SF: Count Weirdly sneers triumphantly at Slylock, as he explains his “universal solvent” is water with 30% ethanol, which dissolves more substances than pure water. Slylock then arrests him for not getting a liquor tax stamp for every bottle.
SFx: WTF’s up with the creature peeking out from behind the computer saying, “Yer sitting too close, boss?” Is he worried about Weirdly getting eyestrain or is it a ‘personal space’ thing?”
Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids: In my past life, I was a lifeguard. Swimmers would cling to my fur as I towed them back to shore. I saved many lives this way, many human lives, and for what? Only for them to perish in the Great Animal Awakening. Or was it that I pulled the bipeds from avalanches, from what would otherwise be their snowy graves? I cannot remember, I only know that that the grave afforded me blessed peace and relief from the heartbreak of a futile existence. Until he came along. And now here I stand, serving humanity (of a sort) once again, this time by holding an overpriced gimmick. Just holding, while the Fox sniffs around and that little purple shit babbles away. In two lives, in two brains, I have served and suffered quietly. Pity me, for I am a Good Boy.
@Lauralot: Considering that this is the strip that actually depicts ICE taking people away, this is an absolutely *insane* “let’s laugh off a felony” moment. The only thing that would redeem it would be the first panel being Gil’s imagination and Gerads meaning they’re “tied up” figuring out the escape room exit from the deluxe adventure package he’d bribed them with to get to take their places.
JP April’s back! With all the exciting adventures not only occurring off-panel, but also safely keeping any update-the-family recap there, too! After a “thanks for taking care of our little girl” we can sweep this attempt at death-defying derring-do under the rug and get back to the drama of sandwiches and horsie-drawing.
RMMD OK, this is some deliberate character design – guessing Marti has chromosomal/ developmental anomalies and will be Especially Vulnerable to the Scam Twins, allowing not-so-little Sarah to save her
@Bob Tice: I love the many ways DC comics tries to justify this with “The Joker”
-Being caught by a vigilante (i.e, not an actual member of law enforcement) severely reduces his sentence.
And
Batmite: I want you to fight The Joker.
B*****: The Joker is securely locked up in Arkham.
(Batmite snaps his fingers and the radio announces that The Joker escaped)
This explains so much!
@Anonymous: There was a cartoon I used to watch about a kid superhero. Two of the villains he would fight were wizards who lived in a huge gothic castle.
One episode, the protagonist is invited to a friend’s birthday party and finds one of the evil wizards performing magic for the kids.
During break, he asks the wizard about this.
“Listen kid, my brother and I live in a giant castle, with a dragon to feed. We have to pay the bills somehow.”
I love little shades of realism in these things.
@CanuckDownSouth: On JP – I’m smelling a status quo shift, on the order of the one apparently in the offing over in Luann. Think about it, Ces is basically pulling a do-over with this whole ‘Ann Gets a TV Show to Tell Her Truth’ bit.
Barring yet *another* ‘One Last Job’ twist (which is certainly possible), it sounds like April’s going to take the raspberry-haired brat off Sopheddy’s hands and go off with her and Randy to Somewhere in Somewhere, like that senile millionaire arms dealer Rex Morgan declared was mentally competent so he could go into the peaceful good night with his trophy wife.
Aaaannnnnnd so Autumn will come to Cavelton as the strip bids farewell forever to the Ballad of CIApril… until Ces gets bored and wants more ‘splosions and offscreen knife-gutting again.
Slylock: That Blob on the wall, why am I getting Rick and Morty vibes from it?
It’s nice of the little frog behind the monitor to care for Count Weirdly’s eyesight even if his boss probably performed experiments on him to see if his species could in fact copulate with pigs. Do they even have Muppets in this messed up talking animal world?
***
I’ve never been happier to have Leroy drawn behind a table because that lower half situation is something that should never be rendered in this art style.
SFx – It’s like that “clever” kid in Middle School that does a science fair about Hydrogen Hydroxide and how it can kill people and that we should try to ban it – then – shocking plot twist – it’s water! Hydrogen Hydroxide is water, you idiots.
F*** that kid. Also, f*** the one who does the “Is Prayer Good For Plants?” project. That may just be a thing here in the deep south.
@Anonymous: Woops, that was me. Guess I haven’t fully woken up yet…
I always found the word “fantasy” to be a very ill-fitting adjective for what that dumb game actually is. They should have kept the word “rotisserie”, which at least doesn’t set up any lame jokes like this one.
I’m a sports fan, a math nerd, and a gambling enthusiast, and I find fantasy sports to be boring and tedious.
Slylock Fox:
This puzzle has run before, but this time we get the added detail that Count Weirdly is apparently left-handed, making him even more of a persecuted minority than he was already.
This is not merely a case of deceptive advertising. Slylock knows that exposure to dihydrogen monoxide is universally fatal; everyone who doses themselves with it will die. Worse, it’s also incredibly addictive. Just one hit, and that’s it. You’re hooked for life. Slylock is giving the Count one chance to submit quietly to arrest, but after that, the Animaltopia SWAT team is going to be breaking out their battering ram and storming the castle.
Lockhorns-Now Leroy’s browser is going to be full of the beach volleyball ads that you can’t rid of no matter what you do without an adblocker.
RMMD-“I want to try and draw you like the French girls.”
MW-And then it’s off to Mary Worth’s to thank her for all her help.
Lockhorns:
I’m trying to determine the meaning of what Leroy is doing with his left hand. Is he doing the “money” gesture where you rub your fingers and thumb together? After all, Loretta says he’s more than a mere participant in this fantasy league, he started it, which means even if he doesn’t win he gets to keep a portion of the pot. It’s kind of a relief to know that Leroy’s interest in these young women is mostly financial. He’s probably not even looking at stats, let alone actual games—he’s just seeing people join his league and hearing cash register noises.
Slylock – The tables are turned on Count Weirdly when an online scammer charges him $400 for an “advanced text input device with individual pushbuttons for each letter of the alphabet.”
Crock – What does “down the way” mean in a featureless desert? I think she’s telling him either that she’s some sort of burrowing animal, or that she’s a demon from Hell. Either way, he’s in love!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Pierre, couldn’t you do that a little more quietly?”
“Not on my budget!”
“You see what I have to put up with just because I won’t buy him a Cuisinart?”
That blob on the wall may be smiling, but it’s also flashing a middle finger at the Rational Reynard. Careful, Thoughtful Tod, if it has a finger, it can pull a trigger, and who knows what it’s hiding in its pulsating mass.
@Peanut Gallery:
This joke hinges on the fact that the asian eating utensils have the word “chop” in their name, and that the audience knows of a piano melody known by the same name.
…That doesn’t really work outside of english…
Crock: Today I learned there was a period in the late 90s when the creators of Crock were putting less effort into the art than usual, which frankly is too embarrassing to contemplate.
SFx: Dude, everyone knows it’s water. All the efforts of the Glorious Animal Regime have not been able to completely reverse the effects of human-generated climate change, or the widespread droughts and wildfires that persist as a result.
SF: I think the puzzle is asking the wrong question. The question should be how Slylock knows that the solvent really isn’t “universal” as Count Weirdly describes it. If Weirdly really had a universal solvent, then it could dissolve anything — including the bottle it is held in.
(Thanks, Encyclopedia Brown!)
GT: kidnapping, no doubt assault and battery, all major felonies. Are we heading towards a “Carrie” like ending to the evening when Coach Gerard finally snaps? “The doors are chained shut!!!’
JP: April “We’re back! Did you miss us! By the way, did Bogdan contact you? He is such a dear. I hope you were nice to him! Um, where is Charlotte???”
MW: Okay, setting up the big hug between Tommy and Wilbur.
@Anonymous: Good point. I’m so used to translating these in my head that I didn’t even notice that.
Maybe they should’ve changed the sound effect to PALILLO PALILLO PALILLO. (Oh no, the cook has murdered Arnold Horshack!)
Today’s Slylock Fox is a rerun, or at least a recycled riddle. I seem to recall reading it circa 2008
Turns out the riddle is recycled, but the art is new, and Josh covered the original:
https://joshreads.com/2008/04/many-jokes-none-good/
C’shaft: Oh good, Crankshaft is going to destroy his own property for a change.
Dustin: From what I’ve seen, big money is more likely to make people completely detached from reality and incapable of empathizing with others, so…well, both of you are still two for three there.
GT: Okay, leaving aside the facts that Coach Permawave has committed a felony just to trash talk Gil at his wedding reception and Gil seems content to do absolutely nothing about it, what the HELL is going on with those bar staff uniforms? The last time I saw anyone wearing a bowtie that big I was watching Mr. Noodle on Sesame Street with the Divalings.
JP: Something tells me we’re never going to hear an explanation for what the hell has been going on with April all this time, and honestly I hope we never do. Like Calvin and Hobbes’ Noodle Incident, any description would be less interesting than the mystery itself.
Luann: Great, Luann’s going move in with someone just as anal and judgemental as Bernice, but also male so they can indulge in trite awkward relationship tropes.
MW: “….Because your hypocritical asshole of a father acted like I was an irredeemable junkie!”
RMMD: Does Marti have Down Syndrome or is that just the bad art?
Heheh, look at the little rascal, so young and already a tombeur de femmes, you can tell he is half French! Wait a minute, he’s also half Arab! Did I… did I do a problematic!?
I want to thank the Lockhorns’ artist for showing both hands of Leroy above the table
I don’t know, maybe $ 200 is a normal price for a bottle of water. The Animalapocalypse must have caused major disruptions, so some inflation would not be out of the ordinary
The beach volley is just a cover for something much more nefarious! Look at Leroy’s left hand! He is learning how to become Italian!
GT: Henry Barajas holds up a copy of the Judge Parker strip and says;
“Kidnapping is not a big deal, right?”
@TheDiva: I’m still hoping for a “you can pinpoint the second Luann’s heart rips in half” moment.
H&L: What in the world is that in the background of the first panel? Did the death star fire it’s super laser at the earth, missing it by three feet, exactly where the Flagstons’ house is located?
S4th: This story raises a new question about time travel for me. If Sally went back 40 years and got her mom and aunt to make up, then returned to the present to find out for the first time they’d been friends all this time, consider what the last 40 years must be like for Mom & Aunt: Sally grew up always knowing they were friends, yet almost exactly 40 years after they buried the hatchet, Sally abruptly has absolutely no memory of any of that.
Slylock: Non-toxic my ass. Weirdly is obviously part of the DHMO cabal. Read up on the conspiracy here: DHMO.org
@CanuckDownSouth: Marti has Down Syndrome. There was a plot about it when she was introduced, I think.
Elon Musk probably read this strip in 1998 and thought: “Cyber is a cute name for a girl! But I will select embryos to only have sons, so I will have to give that name to a truck”
3 poorly drawn comics featuring unappealing characters and all the writeups involve sex.
Josh needs to deal with something
@Rover Berkeley:
On Sally Forth : Ah, the “Marty McFly accidentally took the place of the Marty McFly from the timeline where Biff Tannen was always his dad’s humiliated lackey, potentially erasing him from existence” conundrum.
Would have been avoided if the storyline had ended with “Your Aunt Katherine? She died 40 years ago, in a car accident right outside some dumb tourist trap involving Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” or “The reason I never reconciled with your Aunt Katherine was the we had her committed 40 years ago. Some insane nonsense about time travellers or something”. Then, you just have that Sally forgot what exactly had happened to Aunt Katherine before travelling back in time to cause it.
Lockhorns: “Sophisticated horny”.
Sophisticated? From Leroy, who could tell?
Horny? Who wants to see that from Leroy?
Luann: She’s only been doing her own laundry for half a year, Phil. Give her time.
Crock: I wonder what the joke was the first time they ran it. Or maybe the topless baby beach was on purpose.
GT – Coach Gonads stomps his foot like a little girl. “Ooh, Gil Thorp, you think you’re so smart!” Thorp chuckles indulgently. “You’re beautiful when you’re angry, Coach Gonads.”
MW: “BTW, Dawn, I’m here to beat the crap out of your father.”
SF: In my headcanon, “Count Weirdly” is a mutated Rene Belluso, who survived the animal apocalypse through guile and dumb luck, and is still happily working his lame confidence games on the newly sentient animal kingdom. The reason he’s smiling is because, while horribly mutated as a result of the extinction event, he still outlived that pesky Morgan family.
@TheDiva: Comparing Judge Parker to Calvin and Hobbies is a little like comparing dung to diamonds. Yeah, they’re both carbon based but the comparison pretty much ends there.
Well a sandbox in the desert makes no sense. As does living down the way from the Foreign Legion outpost. “Cyber” has nothing to do with the setting either. On the bright side, there’s no punchline.
If Leroy Lockhorn also has a fantasy men’s football team, would that make him bisexual? Could he be eligible to ride on a float in the Pride parade? That would be one way to get it shut down. Voluntarily, to be clear.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Wait, Tommy!
Let me get popcorn & a drink.
In the distant past, people in random AOL chat rooms and such would try to initiate erotic chat sessions, or “cybersex,” by simply asking “Cyber?” Which probably doesn’t have anything to do with anything.
Slylock Fox: Slylock tries to smugly prove his incredibly stupid theory by taking Weirdly’s “water bottle” and pouring it’s contents on Max, who is promptly horribly burned to death by the acidic solvent Weirdly was selling. Slylock then arrests Weirdly for making an officer look stu- I mean, murder. Yeah, murder.
Crock: I’ve never seen children in Crock before, so I genuinely took a second to parse what the hell these things were supposed to be. Upon realizing they’re kids, I immediately understood WHY Crock basically never includes kid characters ever; the creative team has no earthly comprehension of what a child even is.
The Lockhorns: Leeroy gets pestered while trying to play a competitive match in Team Ninja’s Dead Or Alive.
Slylock: If water does exactly what Weirdly says it does, then it’s worth exactly what people are willing to pay for it. That’s economics, baby! Although I’m guessing most of his customers are looking for something to dissolve a body with, so they’re bound to be disappointed.
Crock: I know these are supposed to be toddlers, but the way they’re drawn makes them look about 12, which makes their skimpy clothing even more creepy. Also, they’re about to be horribly burned by the harsh desert sun, if anybody cares. Those little hats aren’t going to protect them!
Mary Worth: What’s going on in that condo that’s causing birds to flock so close to the window? I don’t care how cheap you are, Wilbur, you can’t just save the oil from cans of sardines in an open jar!
Not gonna lie, Leroy’s facial expression gave me the biggest laugh in the comics today.
@Urlance Woolsbane: Huh, feels like it’s been a while since we’ve seen Weirdly’s hot lab assistant/wife(?). Wonder what happened to her. Maybe she divorced him after getting tired of a giant fox constantly busting into their house to accuse her husband of being a criminal because of some elaborate puzzle logic.
@Vulpes: I always knew that bastard was sinister!
@Banana Jr. 6000: I basically never shit on someone’s hobbies because it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but agree on fantasy football being incredibly stupid. At best it’s just gambling on sports with extra boring steps. At worst it’s a confluence of the least fun parts of several hobbies.
@Comically Challenged: Yeah, that’s really what makes this bit so weird. Like, there’s a million and one harmless ways they could’ve justified Gerad being there but they went with one of the few that makes no sense whatsoever.
@Rover Berkeley: re: S4th – Well, her aunt ought to remember that the reason she went and made up with her sister was the niece travelling back in time. She’d know what was going on and could even have a précis she’d keep on updating to hand off when the new adult niece shows up confused. It does make the aunt-niece relationship weird from the aunt’s side for 40 years as she knows *this* child/ young-adult niece version will be overwritten by the one who grew up with no aunt in her life.
@Rover Berkeley: re: H&L – did someone download build-your-own-photobook page backgrounds and put them in the colourists’ palette by accident?
We all know that people sell bottles of structured water with untold health benefits and get away with it. Is Slylock’s universe so much stricter about truth in advertising than ours? Did Weirdly make a mistake by trying to use misleading claims instead of purely fictional ones? Or is Slylock just noting it’s an obvious scam before he arrests Weirdly on an unrelated charge like being left handed?
@Anonymous: I guess the problem is, those scenarios have Sally inadvertently causing the death or imprisonment of an innocent person and suffering no consequences, just going obliviously onward. This strip can sometimes get into heavy areas, but I don’t think they’d recover from making Sally into Wilbur.
@ectojazzmage: Fantasy football is really just a complicated prop bet. “My combination of players will acquire more points than your combination of players, based on this set of rules.” I suspect it’s a gateway drug for more direct sports gambling. And it’s a great marketing tool for the NFL, since it gives people a reason to care about games not involving their own team.
I once had a temp job supporting ESPN fantasy football. I could tell you some stories.
@CanuckDownSouth: Re: RMMD: When this character first appeared, Josh speculated that might be the case. It’s confirmed in this storyline, given how hard Sarah has been patting herself on the back for spending time with her “friend” (and as someone that Sarah has not visited or even mentioned since her debut, Marti certainly qualifies as one.)
@Banana Jr. 6000: Hear hear! If it’s not a football game you can play with magical unicorns and faerie folk, then it doesn’t deserve the “fantasy” moniker!
Blondie – Dagwood, you’re calling that a “history book” when “Prehistoric” is literally the first word in the title. Just drop the pretense already and admit to your wife that your show of interest in “paleo” diets has never been more than an excuse to eat more red meat.
@2+2=7: There was a classic Arlo and Janis where Arlo has been explaining fantasy football to Janis.
Janis: So my football fantasy…?
Arlo: IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!
SLYLOCK FOX: I don’t see how it’s any business of Slylock Fox if Count Weirdly wants to sell his own bottles of piss (they never said where that “water” is coming out of after all.)
SLYLOCK FOX (2): This is what happened when you do your super-villainy internship with Rene Bellusco.
LHs: Alternative caption: “I remember when there was ‘Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball’, where it gave me an option.”
@TheDiva:
Well to be fair, Phil exists because the Evans know the TruFans are too a’scared to peruse slash-fiction, so….
I’m being facetious of course. Clearly Phil and Bernice are completely different characters since Phil has a penis* and this means that Luann actually praises him when he negs her and rains on her parade (er…I mean “encourages and inspires her.”)
*citation needed
Low And HiLess: “You are the lives of our love”
@Lauralot:
#1. GT: excellent advice. So neither Bride nor groom will be clear headed enough to think of it.
MONDAY WORK ATTITUDES
– DUSTIN: He considers job types
– ZITS: Jeremy applies for a job
– BF: Ever-grumpy Susan dislikes coffee break
– DOONESBURY: Zonker quit food service in a half a heartbeat.
S4th: As a different Mudge said yesterday, life will be screwed up due to the healing of the sisters’ rift. Sal will need to go back in time to undo the healing.
–
Slylock Fox-“I am the law.”
FC-Don’t expose them to bright light.
@Lauralot:
#64 RMMD: thanks for the refresher. Glad she also has different bangs so we can tell the two girls apart.
@Banana Jr. 6000: re: Fantasy Football
At least FF usually has leagues that are entered into an overall computer program, making it easier to compute the individual and league scores.
Back 40 years ago, before the Intertubes, I worked at a radio station on Saturdays and we would always get calls from the gamblers checking for football scores….and some of the requests were for the scores of some really obscure teams they had bets on.
Instead of the websites, we had to rely on the old Associated Press teletype. Those Saturdays could get very long.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Before the Supreme Court declared the prohibition on sports betting unconstitutional in 2018, fantasy sports were how Draft Kings et al. were circumventing it. It wasn’t gambling, it was “daily fantasy leagues” with cash buy-ins and payouts. Totally different!
6Chx: Tote that barge; lift that bale….It’s the Elderly Lesbian Movie Watching Blues!
Fassbinder’s Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant is a good pick. So is Aldrich’s Killing of Sister George.
@Ukulele Ike: What, no Claire of the Moon? If she wants to be depressed, she can just go to work!
1992? I’m not up on all these new flicks.
Little Banjo’s friend, 25 years ago, age six: “Does your Dad watch….black and white movies?”
Little Banjo (ditto, in a voice of despair): “My Dad watches….silent movies.”
SFx: so sweet, how Monster has an “X” in middle of forehead to mark where his gf is to kiss him. (or bf, no matter).
Is Slylick Fox the animal kingdom’s Ralph Nader or David Horrorwitz?
Slylock Fox: Dihydrogen oxide? Fuck yeah!
@Liam: Slylock Fox-“I am the law.”
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Take a yiff outta crime!
@2026 The Furry Advertising Council.
@Liam: FC-Don’t expose them to bright light.
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….Or feed them after midnight.
@Rube: @2+2=7: There was a classic Arlo and Janis where Arlo has been explaining fantasy football to Janis.
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Was that what turned her into a mermaid?
@2+2=7: SLYLOCK FOX: I don’t see how it’s any business of Slylock Fox if Count Weirdly wants to sell his own bottles of piss (they never said where that “water” is coming out of after all.)
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THAT he sells to Ed Crankshaft as “Coyote™ brand Urine”
Or Weirdly is selling a valuable spiritual Alkahest/Philosopher’s Stone to his Paracelsian buddies who long ago moved on from the crude search for chrysopoeia into the more modern Jungian/spiritual side of the alchemical Great Work.
So really, Shylock is just enforcing religious bigotry. Sad, but unsurprising.
Be strong, Weirdly my Brother, proud creator of the true Homunculus! The Green (Anthropomorphic) Lion shall yet devour the Sun!
@Peanut Gallery: Don Abundio, translated:
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So is this the famed “Abundio Is Annoyed By Chopping” arc?
@Dunkelcopter:
Crap… if anybody quotes this, they have my full permission to spell the fashy fox’s name correctly…
@Downpuppy: Okay, how is today’s Slylock Fox sexual?
@GarrisonSkunk: Speaking of A&J: Arlo Fisherman is facing the same dilemma as Lucky Eddie of HtH.
Guys like Don Abundio hate the sound of chopping. Reminds ‘em of guillotines.
GT: “I have just one thing to say to you, Gil Thorp…I’m going to make sure this shindig is…a gas.” :slips on gas mask as something odorless and colorless begins hissing out of strategically placed cylinders hidden around the venue:
@Terry Rhoden: Rather than being Frank Booth (we DID him last week) how about Coach Gonads is really the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight?
“SURF’S UP, SPACE PONIES, I’M MAKIN’ GRAVY WITHOUT THE LUMPS! YEAH, BABY, YEAH!!!”
RMMD- “Art supplies! Crayons, markers, a couple cans of spraypaint, the usual stuff!”
@Ukulele Ike:
“SO HE SAYS TO ME, ‘YOU GOT LEGS,’ AND I SAID ‘YEAH, BABY! I’M ALL OVER THE PLACE!'”
@A Grave Mind: The greatest supervillain in the history of the animated cartoon, going back to Winsor McCay.
Except maybe HE from the Powerpuff Girls.
@GarrisonSkunk, @Ukulele Ike: Yes, the writers beat this idea to death; there was another spate of “chopping” strips that CK ran in 2024. I’m not sure which was worse, those or the interminable series of “banister-sliding” gags.
@Ukulele Ike, @A Grave Mind: I still occasionally say to myself, “Tell me I’m wrong. And he says, I can’t, baby, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE NOT!”
Les from Funky Winkerbean: Wife Lisa dies… writes a sappy book.
Dracula from Castlevania: Wife Lisa dies… wages war on all of humanity with the legions of Hell at his side.
Funny that Dracula is still the more likeable character here.
@pugfuggly: whichever AI engine still allows you to do nudity….
Which one is that? Asking for a fiend….
@A Grave Mind: @Peanut Gallery: So I assume you are all cool with Coach Hair slapping high explosives all over the reception hall, then saying “I’m a part-time electrician.”
Slylock: That blob is definitely flipping off Slylock. Or maybe the readers.
SLYLOCK: No one will see this comment, and I really need to get to bed. And yet I must still express how enthralled I am by the snake who is warning the Count that his face is too close to his computer screen. O health-concerned snake who cares even for the unrighteous, is your name Asclepius?
@Poteet: Well shoot, now I see there are two front feet of some sort, so I suppose it’s actually a treefrog. Anyway, I hope Count Weirdly realizes that a lot of evil scientists don’t have this kind of loyal caring support.
81@ectojazzmage: Re: SF. The woman with the blond hair is one of Weirdly’s identical twin sisters. They don’t show up very often in the strip. The last time that I remember seeing them in the strip is here.
Crock: “So,its agreed? We name it Simon if its a boy, and Cyber if its a girl!”
@The Rambling Otter: Josh is talking about relationships and reproduction while staring at Weirdly’s butt.
It’s kind of sad how Weirdly’s Frankenstein’s-monster-esque giant dog henchperson has already been duped by the scheme, and spent a hard earned $200 on a bottle of water that his boss probably ran out of the tap in the other room. “You never know when you might need to dissolve something,”, Weirdly told him, and who was he to disagree?