It’s the Russ…ians, maybe?
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Judge Parker, 8/2/26
Oh wow, as predicted, that big Hollywood exec loved Ann’s little sermon and green-lit the series as soon as she stalked out of the room. So now it looks like all’s well that ends … wait, what’s that? April’s calling? She wants to make sure her intellectual property rights to Netflix’s new daughters extended universe are respected? And she’s calling on whatever number Neddy has for her in her phone? Which presumably could be very easily tracked by [tries and fails to remember who April is on the run from exactly, decides it’s not worth investigating] her enemies?
Mary Worth, 8/2/26
So Dawn has been unable to track down Tommy ever since he overheard Wilbur talking shit about him, leading him to purchase drugs and subsequently flush them down the toilet. This has caused Dawn some anxiety, but good news! He’s fine. He’s come by to tell Dawn that her good words strengthened his resolve, and he did a bunch of drugs to prove to himself that he can quit whenever he wants and that he’s not an addict anymore. Problem solved!
Suburban Fairy Tales, 8/2/26
Suburban Fairy Tales is a strip whose main characters are the Three Little Pigs, and one thing that’s always bugged me about it is that it neglects the Three Little Pigs’ best-known defining characteristics: that they have wildly divergent skills when it comes to building structures that can endure abuse. Well, today is a shout-out to us Three Little Pigs oldheads, and I for one appreciate it.
24 replies to “It’s the Russ…ians, maybe?”
Suburban Fairy Tales-The lesser known pig who built his house on a foundation of sand.
MW-Tommy is now tempted to do Dawn.
MW-“Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar well eats you.”
Mary Worth:
“Buzz! Buzz!”
“Why is Tommy calling out to the second person to walk on the moon?”
Judge Parker:
Bzz Bzz April
“She’s probably calling to apologize for pilfering the prepositional ‘of’ from the dialogue bubble in today’s third panel!”
What I most appreciate about today’s contemporary political scene is that the King of England can address Congress and tell us we have to go to war with Russia because… globalism? But hey, here’s some Marmaduke comics, enjoy.
MW: Woody Harrelson doubts his best bud Sam Elliot ever said that.
Mary Worth:
“Oh where, oh where can my Tommy be?
Eve Lourd took him away from me….”
— J. Frank Wilson, “Last Kiss” (adapted)
MW: So Tommy, the grocery shelf stocker, can go on an unscheduled hiatus without a credible proof of life? Who does he think he is, the senior senator of Kentucky?
Mary Worth:
It’s a continuing curiosity that the characters in this strip never, apparently, have any independent thoughts — they take their cognitive cues exclusively from things that other people have said.
MW: It’s like Moy wanted us to spend the last week worrying that Tommy had relapsed, only to reveal today, to the readers’ relief and joy, that he hadn’t. Except it doesn’t work, not just because she already showed us that Tommy flushed the drugs, but also because the only times anyone has ever been invested in this strip are Aldomania and Wilbur falling off a cruise ship. Genuinely, I want to know what alien planet taught this woman her writing techniques.
MW: Thanks, Dawn! After the stream of shittalking I overheard from Wilbur about me, I felt really down; but then I thought about your haircut and realized if you don’t need external validation neither do I.
MW: I love how Tommy deemphasizes his “Hey” for Wilbur.
@Hibbleton: Really, it’s quite polite of Tommy to just say “in a weak moment” instead of “after overhearing what your father said about me”. Then again, were Tommy to say that, we might get another week of Wilbur thinking about his life, and no one wants that.
SFT — Genuine question, is the figure on the left supposed to be a pig or is he the wolf? Because I don’t remember any pig-on-pig violence in the story, Did one of them become predatory and destructive, you know, like Private Equity pig?
JP: It’s nice to see Kadia Sahara Walker getting doubletime in the two Manley-drawn strips.
“when it comes to building structures that can endure abuse”
Well, only the Brick house could endure abuse, the other two were notoriously crappy.
Yesterday @GarrisonSkunk
Thank you Garrison for your kind words, my friend :3
JP —
Ned went to pitch to Netflix, because Ann asked her to
How was she to know, they were with the Russians too?
By laying out Ann’s CV, they took a little risk
Send April, guns, and money to get them out of this
Come to think of it, Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money ought to be on the Spencer-Driver family crest
Bzz bzz vs buzz buzz. Which woman’s dildo has the strongest battery?
JP: What kind of got-damn cell phone shows the month but not the date or the time?
Rex Morgan: Marti came from the same vat at the institute that Sarah was grown from, yes?
Dick Tracy: May we send Kvetchy Kathy to other strips? I’d love to see her dissing Dagwood’s hair antennae…
JP – That third panel clinched it, Ann! They want you to be the new spokesmodel for Excedrin!
SFT – Congratulations, Little Pig! They want you to be the new spokesmodel for Vi@gr@!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Now I know what drove Lizzie Borden to do it!”
JP: I call shenanigans. No way Neddy has remembered to take her phone out of airplane mode after her flight to LA.
Slylock – The kitten pointing out her window at Slylock is saying to her friend, “I told you all we had to do was switch a couple of license plates and call in an anonymous tip. We’re gonna see some fireworks now!”