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Apartment 3-G, 2/27/13

Wow, now I’m really bummed that they’ve made Margo’s parents boring, because that guarantees that the sex scene that’s starting today will be super dull.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/27/13

“Mommy, the floor is covered in broken glass!” “Whatever, kids, walk around it. It’s the weekend!”

Spider-Man, 2/27/13

“Sooo, that missile is heading … more or less towards the water, right? Probably less than a one in three chance that it will land on those houses near the beach, or will kick up a blast wave that will spread damage for miles. Certainly no reason for us to not just spend the next twenty minutes telling each other how great we are!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/27/13

“‘Pick your gay nephew to manage the property, Melissa,’ I said to myself. ‘The gay nephew won’t turn it into a stripper party house,’ I said. Oh, my beautiful plans, all shattered in pieces at my feet!”