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Psst! Mary Worth fans! Mary Worth And Me, the indispensable blog from faithful reader Wanders, is once again showcasing the best of the past year’s worth of Mary Worth in its annual Worthy Awards! You can vote in such important categories as “Outstanding Performance by an Inconsequential Character,” “Panel of the Year,” and, of course, the coveted “Outstanding Performance by a Floating Head.” Your vote matters, so vote soon!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/3/19

Doc Pritchard sure looks pretty beat down by his lot in that second panel, doesn’t he? I wonder if he’s depressed because of his continuing failure to make Hootin’ Holler’s residents aware of how unhealthy a diet heavy in smoked meats can be — or if he’s actually succeeded, but his canny patients are now paying him in a currency that’s rapidly devaluing as a result of his efforts. In other, less surprising news, the rutted byways of Hootin’ Holler are clogged with roaming packs of semi-feral dogs.

Crock, 1/3/19

Crock’s Foreign Legion detachment is based in an isolated fort surrounded by a hostile, barely subjugated colonial population, and so it probably relies on supplies from the metropole to avoid starvation. A violent overthrow of the fort’s commanding officer, no matter how cruel and incompetent he might be, will certainly be seen as an act of rebellion against the French Republic, and so our heroes are likely to be cut off from any outside support, at least until they can successfully negotiate an amnesty. Thus, the coup plotters need to ensure that the fort’s cook and his staff are on their side and prepared for the hardship to come! But they’re being kind of half-assed about it, in my opinion.

Mark Trail, 1/3/19

When your child and his friend are in danger and you ask a police officer if he has good news about them, you definitely want the sentence to begin with “Yes,” and definitely do not want the sentence to end with “…in case it turns into a hostage situation.”

Gil Thorp, 1/3/19

Oh, man, is Mike Filion being super annoying all time time with his obsessive references to That ’70s Show because he’s … too horny? Coach Kaz is going to investigate, and it’s gonna get real uncomfortable!