Classic enemies-to-lovers arc
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Hi and Lois, 10/30/24
Never mind Trixie’s baby brain being incapable of parsing this metaphor. What kind of fool’s paradise have Hi and Lois been living in that they look so worried about the very notion of an investor looking to buy a house, do some perhaps superficial renovations to it fairly quickly, and then selling it for a healthy profit? Are you telling Lois that houses are, in addition to a place to live, a commodity and an investment vehicle as well? She’s been a realtor for years and this is the first she’s hearing about this.
Mary Worth, 10/30/24
The big and extremely predictable Mary Worth news is that Dr. Ed has agreed to take Estelle back or whatever. All they had to do is agree to give up things that they’re passionate about and instead rely entirely on one another for emotional validation. Can’t see anything going wrong with that plan!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/24
Oh, you’re telling me that Rex might respond to a naive, cute, and slightly gross question one of his kids poses by making him feel weird for ever asking it, and moreover will work to make sure that he keeps feeling weird for the rest of his life? Yeah, that tracks. Sarah might’ve gotten a touch of the amnesia, but she definitely remembers Rex’s whole deal.
Six Chix, 10/30/24
We all, of course, remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare. Well, what if the two title characters in that story explored each other’s bodies, sexually? Or at least thought about it?
139 replies to “Classic enemies-to-lovers arc”
MW – Estelle is getting a swelled head over her renewed relationship with Ed. No, really, look at the size of that giant head! Is she trying out for a role in The Family Circus?
Six Chix – Surprising everyone who watched their unlikely romance, the tortoise came first.
RMMD: He asks that as though he already knows how people guts feel. I’d keep an eye on this kid.
MW:
Clearly, in today’s first panel, the animals have heeded Dr. Timothy Leary’s prescription to “Turn on, tune in and drop out.”
MW- Dr. Ed didn’t want the big wedding for one reason only: Wilbur’s drunken toast at the reception about Ed getting to enjoy Estelle, aka Wilbur’s “sloppy seconds” (just like he did and at Zak and Iris’ wedding reception!)
RMMD:
“Which of the three of us should sculpt our pumpkin in the shape of a bull that’s used as a draft animal, Sarah?”
“It depends on whose gourd is being ‘Ox‘ !”
MW:
Suggested third panel Mary Worth Mashup: a thoroughly lit Estelle flings the red wine in Ed’s face. C’mon, Baja! — you can do it!
Rex Morgan is a general practitioner, so he probably doesn’t actually have much experience of what it feels like to plunge your hands into the belly of a human being and root around in their guts. No, he had to learn that in his private time.
RMMD:
“Dad’s friend the neurologist says that this is what the inside of Dad’s brain looks like!”
I love the constant reminders that Pierre is literally the best-behaved dog in history, content to pass his days gazing quietly upon his owners in quiet admiration. This was the level of responsibility that was too much for Wilbur. We all like making fun of Dawn, but honestly the fact that she’s even alive is a pretty heroic achievement.
H&L – …but he ended up underwater. I guess he was actually Submariner….
MW – Just keep knocking back that red, Stelle. You’re gonna need it….
RMMD – So…I guess the ship has long sailed on the notion that Sarah is some sort of genius….
6-C – That’s what comes from rebuffing the, how’d you like a wild hare up your ass, opener….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW:
If I were Libby, I’m not sure I’d be holding that one good eye of hers that close to Pierre’s spiked collar. Just sayin’.
H&L: Someone who wanted to buy and develop a property consulted a real estate agency?!!?! How does something like that even happen?!?!!?
MW: What is this, a contest to see who can walk back their characterization the furthest? At least the creepy pets aren’t playing along in any capacity, as demonstrated by their blatantly reused panel art.
JP: I guess it’s hard to keep track of these things when you’re going entirely off questionable rumors from one source and no actual evidence, but sure enough Neddy (and/or Marciuliano) has already forgotten what Declan supposedly did that upset her. Declan was a bad investor who got into debt and abandoned his family after borrowing from them for his latest bad idea. Still not good, but if anything he was a victim of con artists. But it’s too late. This retconned history is, unfortunately for Declan, now canon. Poor guy.
Luann: Speaking of inappropriate scenes, this one never should have happened. Kip should have been in the locker room at least half an hour ago. Why is he still wandering the playing field in his uniform and pads?
GT: A minute of research shows that 1:35:84 is an absolutely AWFUL time for the 4×100 relay, longer than double the actual record set by high school girls’ track teams. Is this a competition to discover the most physically unfit high school in America, or has Keri been starving herself recently to compete in the 1st Annual Eating Disorder Games?
RMMD: We say the melonheads are stupid but Rex doesn’t even trust the boys to use the spork Sarah is holding.
RMMD: Instead of asking Rex whether human guts feel like pumpkin guts, the kids could find out for themselves by performing an experiment. Let’s see – in P1, whose head looks most like a scary Jack-o-Lantern?
@Schroduck: Regrettably, Rex is the best surgeon in medical history on top of being the best general practitioner in medical history, a character trait of his dredged back up a year or two ago. It only comes up very rarely in blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moments so everyone can quickly get back to the diner food and roots country.
H&L: Hi responds that maybe they could sell and cash in on the equity in their own house.
“He wants a fixer-upper not dump;” says Lois.
@Chance: IKR? Amd you’d think the one thing a rabbit would be good at is procreation. . .
H&L: If it weren’t non-PC, Lois would have a thought bubble saying, “There goes the neighborhood. ”
SxChx: The snake and mouse are a more worrisome combo. Speed dating is speedy, but snakes are speedier.
RxMD: Place your bets! Who gets their hand cut off, only for Rex to reattach it?
Phantom: Can we go back to Lillian pontificating to the book-burning protestors? Please?
GA: Only on Janeway’s Voyager.
DT: Ah, yes, the Totten Organization. Didn’t they pass on the IPO for Babble?
A snake and a mouse speed-dating? I have some bad news: the Tuesday Chix’s depiction of her fetishistic desire to fuck sandwiches was a success, so the Wednesday Chix responds by depicting some vore!
MW: Is Estelle related to Mr. Bribery? She seems to suffer from the same congenital ne
I’m all in favour for a small wedding, but I guess this means that Estelle lost all the deposits for orders she placed for the big wedding. Her judgement in men is only matched by her savvy in money!
MW: Stupid lousy cell phone. What I was saying was Estelle can’t seem to hold her head straight on her neck. All she needs is a rose clenched in her teeth.
Trixie, don’t be silly! Houses are not just placed on the ground, they are fixed there by foundations, so you couldn’t flip a house without breaking it! How are you going to get you architecture degree with this attitude?!
Ignore the hare and the tortoise and their stupid foreplay. That snake behind them is just about
to invite the mouse to her place, and then she’s going to eat him.
@jroggs: Good eye, JR! Yes, we had to use an archived shot today for the Terrific Trio. Odin is still pretty unhappy that he’s not been gettin’ panel time, and refused to smile today. And Libby and Pierre got annoyed with Odin because he was in a snit… there was actual hissing involved… so we had to use an earlier pic from a calmer day. I hope we can soothe the ruffled fur goin’ forward.
Look for our upcoming clearance on all fancy wedding memorabilia! We’re hoping the Pets can still use their wedding costumes for trick or treating.
Ed is a real gaslighter! He is not promising he will put up boundaries between his professional and personal life or that he will learn to delegate or that he will give priority to his wife. No, he’s just promising that he will make her happy. In a few months, after Estelle realises that Ed has not changed his behaviour one bit, he will just say “But I am trying to make you happy! Why don’t you appreciate it? How ungrateful!” By then Estelle will realise that her life ended up as a choice between Ed and Wilbur and she will be forced to accept that sometimes you cannot win
At the rate Eshtelle’s neck’s growing, her giraffe ancestry will soon be impossible to hide, so DrEd will be able to do with her whatever he does with giraffes.
“Rex Morgan MD” is your strip of choice if you want to read about stupid kids saying stupid things but you want it just a little bit edgier than “Family Circus” or “Dennis the Menace”.
Rex Morgan – I don’t even think it’s a weird question, given their age and current activity. If they were, say, out on.a family hike and one of them asked what human guts felt like, yeah, that would be weird.
MW:
“Now, during the ceremony, Estelle dear, in honor of Mrs. Fitz’s poodle, can we say ‘In sickness and in whelp…’ instead of ‘In sickness and in health‘?”
Not only Rex will humiliate his children for asking, but he will tell them that everything these days is done through laparoscopy, thus discouraging them from going to Med School
Six Chix:
[Taps out, leaves to engage a life of prayer and repentance on a mountaintop hermitage]
Unfortunately, today’s “Six Chix” will end up on 4Chan, without the balloon and with a caption saying “the dangers of miscegenation”.
H&L: It’s a shame this wasn’t a Sunday strip — we could have had Margot Robie in a bubble bath explaining the concept to Trixie.
MW: “I already do? Sweet, I’ll stop there, then. By the way, I have to go give a ferret an enema now. I’ll be back tomorrow or maybe next week, I dunno.”
RMMD: I know these are just kids, but you forgot that the inside of pumpkins are goopy? Are the inside of pumpkins…anything else?
6Cx: Silly Rabbit, you suck after speed dating, in the back of a car by the….oh, I see what you’re saying. Nevermind.
6Cx: Wouldn’t ya know? We try to create a utopian scene of peace and harmony … including a family-friendly, whimsical concept of different species “dating”… and the audience, including Josh, makes something sexually inappropriate about it! I guess it’s an example of the coarsening of our society.
Anyway, a great job by all the Animal Stars here… a testimony to their professionalism. No Animals were harmed in ANY way in this performance. I had told my Intern he wouldn’t need that fire hose….
Your insights, of course, brought to mind Sean Avery.
MW: Estelle’s neck is trying to push her head off. If it succeeds, that may wrap up this whole scenario.
GT: Um, not to nitpick, but shouldn’t the 4 x 100 relay team have, like, 4 runners instead of 2?
MW: Oh no, those insipid animals are back! I never loathed two goldfish the way I loathe these three.
6Chx: Hey, baby, I can go all night.
Six Chix: Forget the tortoise and the hare, I’m worried about that mouse who’s chatting up a snake. I know Vore is a thing but trust me little buddy, you don’t want to get lost in her coils or whatever.
H&L: Trixie with a worried look on her face holding on to her dollhouse might have been a better gag but I’ve already thought about this joke far longer than the author.
MW, 6C — Given Stell’s wedding thoughts prior to today, it looks more like these two strips are planning that we never wanted but never knew we needed (we still didn’t need it)
Slyfock Cox: I’m not too good at spotting differences, but I’d say it has something to do with the jizz towel in his back pocket that he’s going to need in a few seconds.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV, 6C: For a moment, I thought Brooke was the Seventh Chix.
H&L – is she perhaps simply amazed at anyone buying a house in what is apparently a near-void of grass and sky?
MW – is it weired I want to deck these pets? Like, viciously, one-at-a-time? Ooo, medication time!
Trixie already understands that the housing crisis is largely caused by moneyed interests treating houses as both short and long term investments, leaving many homes empty until a large enough profit can be made from selling them, or they’re being used as rental properties where landlords collude to keep the rents high. This is why she sees someone physically flipping one over as a hero instead of a villain. Welcome to the struggle, comrade.
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It will never not bother me that the Mary Worth creative team has no idea how dogs and cats work and always has them staring in rapt attention, often in a group, at whatever boring melodrama is going on around them. Unless they always get fed off-panel right after Estelle finishes talking for the minute she gives for conversation each day, then it makes sense.
Hi and Lois – Lois was burned on the house-flipping phenomenon during the 2008 housing crash, and swore to avoid contributing to the next real estate bubble and crash.
However, she didn’t count on the inflationary impact of private equity buying up a huge percent of the housing stock, or the less dangerous, but much more annoying trend of idiots listening to a YouTube ad where a douchebag brags about all the books he reads, the car he drives, and how he is able to do it all with a real estate flipping scheme (Click the linked for FREE Information, and upgrade to the Pro+ plan)
Mary Worth – When Mary Worth is optioned for development by Hollywood, it will go through several iterations, but eventually to turned into an anti-Bachelor, where in one season contestants vie to be Wilbur’s next romantic partner, only for Wilbur to wreck the relationship, and in the next season, the winning/losing woman is paired with a successful businessman with some issue that’s eventually resolved. To tie it in a bow, Dane Cook will be host because of his role in Good Luck Chuck.
Rex Morgan, MD – Rex isn’t motivated like most parents are when they bring up embarrassing stories of their children’s youth. Normal parents do it because it bring up warm memories of children’s development at a certain age.
Rex just wants to punish them for making him think about anything medicine related. Unlike Dr. Ed, he isn’t a workaholic. Rex doesn’t even show show up in his own strip for most of the year.
Six Chix – That mouse is scraping the bottom of the barrel. She’s not only paired with a dangerous snake, but also is doing a speed dating event at 3 o’clock. Day or night, it’s the least opportune hour for a first date.
RMMD: “Rest of your life” is quite an accurate statement when you consider they’re doomed to live their lives as children stuck in the hellish perpetuity of this strip.
@Tabby Lavalamp: MW: I’ve made difficult, life changing decisions in the presence of my dog and she responds by barking at a squirrel.
I think I have read all the comments, and nobody has made a “Buxley wants Beetle to give her the old ‘Inn-n-Out” joke about today’s strip, which is pretty remarkable restraint.
MW: So, the secret to having a happy relationship is to suddenly stop caring about and do a complete 180 on the things that were causing the conflict in the first place? Good, glad we got that sorted out.
RMMD: Nah, Rex is more likely to go into pedantic teacher mode with them. “Well, Blonde-Haired Adoptive Son, that’s an interesting question. You see there are many different forms of human viscera, and each have their distinct textural properties. The intestines, for example, have a wet, slippery feel that might be comparative to the interior contents of a pumpkin, but the liver…”
“Our work is done, cats.”
“Yes, the humans are back on the path to mating.”
“We should return to our homeworld for debriefing.”
“Indeed.”
Title Card: As they returned home, the pet’s spaceship was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.
I just took an enormous dump.
6C – Instead of insulting him, the hare should have asked the tortoise if (a) race is important in a relationship.
@LTJpezcore1: That CROSSOVER….crossover…words are hard, friends.
@TheDiva: “… hey, you know what’s better than me telling you about this? Showing you! I have a corpse in the garage right now. Who wants to use a bonesaw?”
C’shaft: So they’re not “telling scary stories” so much as they are “coming up with monster match-ups featuring the lame local cryptid that somehow owns a controlling interest in the pizza parlor.”
DT: This week: Dick Tracy takes down a notorious fare-jumping ring!
Dustin: Honestly, anyone who painstakingly and accurately recreates a QR code in magic marker on a piece of cardboard deserves a few bucks for the effort.
GT: Not bad, considering her body’s actively devouring its own musculoskeletal system in an attempt to make up for the calories she refuses to ingest…
JP: Meanwhile Sophie’s thinking “This meeting could have been an e-mail…”
Luann: What is that on Kip’s elbow? A tattoo? Dirt? One of those “number of the beast” barcodes evangelical eschatologists keep warning us about?
Phantom: Good, then maybe it can shoot you and end this damn arc already.
MW-Big wedding. Little wedding. Doesn’t matter. Either way Mary Worth will be catering it.
FC-Those poor kids really want to vote for Nixon.
“I just want a simple wedding. No band or DJ. The only entertainment will be Wilbur crying conspicuously in his main course”
@TheDiva:
Crankshaft :
1) In Batiuk’s defense, coming up with 4 different horror short stories that can fit in 12 strips (5 of which being the set-up to WHY we are getting separate horror stories) is hard. 4 comic book covers is easier.
2) On the other hand, the strip is treating the Pizza Box Monster as if he’s an iconic fast food mascot that can work in many different settings, rather than just some prankster who steals Funky Winkerbean’s pizza on Halloween. Like, I don’t think this character has the crossover appeal this storyline seems to/wants us to believe he has!
FC: Thank the Lord…
DT: Incidentally, cops don’t haul you down to the station house in handcuffs for the third degree treatment when they catch you fare-jumping. They give you a damn ticket.
Hello everybody! Good to be back.
MW–I assume Ed’s new vet will be an extremely attractive young woman, sparking a jealousy plot. I hate this strip.
@Chance: Six Chix – Surprising everyone who watched their unlikely romance, the tortoise came first.
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Who came first, what came second, I don’t Know came third- Almost &Chedstello, 9Weirdchick Lame.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: #34
…after trying in vain to suppress my primeval urge to visualize such a scenario, I may join you in that hermitage…
RMMD: Rex would be the kind of dick who’d slip a real human brain into one of those pumpkins while the kids aren’t looking.
RMMD: Hey, kids! Let’s lay the dog in the kitchen table and dissect him to find out!
Luann: Wouldn’t Kip be in the locker room with the rest of the team getting a post game talk by the coaches, mostly congratulating them on the things they did right and the things that need improvement?
@Ettorre: And by “kids”, you mean “middle-aged dwarves”, right, because those “children” can’t be younger than 45 on a good day?
@Mountain Mama: MW–I assume Ed’s new vet will be an extremely attractive young woman, sparking a jealousy plot. I hate this strip.
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Unfortunately there Isn’t enough catnip in the world to coax Cassandra Cat to cameo in MW again after that Willburp Weston incident.
@Ukulele Ike: You’re new to Tracy town, aren’t you, Ike?
@Enormous Dump: Did you put it back after playing with it?
Hi And Lois: I know that you’re a dumbass infant, Trixie, but I would think you’d have the bare minimum intelligence to remember that superheroes generally help people rather than going around flipping random buildings over.
Mary Worth: “Hey, Ed, you ever notice how our animals spend most of their time just kinda staring at us creepily while we have personal drama?”
Rex Morgan: Rex doesn’t understand petty human concepts like humor or hypotheticals, so he’d probably assume that his kids want to autopsy a corpse and sneak them into the hospital for that purpose.
SIX CHIX: I don’t know if I like this new version of Slylock Fox and Comics for Adults (It will certainly give new intriguing meaning when Slylock accuses Count Weirdly of “doing it.”)
@ectojazzmage: Unless of course it’s a crack den or something.
H&L: Maybe Lois is concerned that the HGTV film crew will be filming her attempt to sell a crummy house, forever associating her with the “before” picture on Rundown Renovations or whatever show the guy hosts.
MARY WORTH: I bet you that their “compromise” is to simply have the wedding right there at the vet clinic, so that Ed can immediately get right to work operating on bulldogs instead of celebrating his honeymoon (“At least someone will have a sharp tool inside them tonight” Estelle will sigh with resignation)
Six Chex And A Cat Named Chuck Jones In Search Of A Punchline: I see Josh has seen that banned Looney Tunes episode where Cecil the Turtle reveals a vibrator from under his shell and slyly looks to the camera “So, THAT’S what’s up!”, as Bugs gets all red in the face.
Crankshaft – You’re not going to win a Pulitzer for humor either, Batiuk.
Frazz – In a sane world, everyone would be rolling their eyes at the smug little asshole instead of smiling approvingly.
Mary Worth – Something is very wrong. No one is praising Mary! How can she do a three week victory lap without a couple of weeks of praise to set it up?
Arlo & Janis – Back in 2016 we kept two cats for five weeks (we were told beforehand that it would be two weeks). The cats would come running, just like Arlo’s cat, when we opened a can of cat food. Once they ran to me when I opened a can of chickpeas while I was making dinner.
MW: It looks like Estelle is desperately trying to hold her uppers in place so they don’t fall into her wine glass. Either that, or she forgot to put her lip on when she did her make-up.
@The Rambling Otter: Speaking of, I was just thinking of a Cop show, where the cops were chasing a perp, who managed to get to his house and run inside, causing the police to follow, in which it turns out the guy was operating a full-blown drug-house in.
Smart move Einstein…
@Schroduck: @jroggs: Don’t forget that Rex performed emergency eye surgery. It’s standard practice for a hospital to allow a GP who hasn’t performed surgery in years to perform a delicate eye operation instead of bringing in the ophthalmic surgeon on call.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Your intern deserves a bonus for placing the Animals on a Wednesday, when the Chick can actually draw.
@Poteet #Y147 – Re ponytails – I wore one of those tight ponytails for a few years when I was in grade school. You’re fortunate that you gave up quickly. The tightness can be very unkind to one’s hairline years later. Don’t ask how I know.
@jroggs:
Yes! 1:35:84 is amazing – too slow for 4×100, way too fast for kids for 4×400. Maybe it is a 4×200 relay? But that is a really good time for high school kids. The world record for women is 1:27:46.
Like the other sports (Milford running an all-out 11 man blitz in football, pro trial out in basketball for a high school kid who resumes his high school career) it seems all set in an alternate sports world.
They’re usually rivals, but maybe there’s a chance of a forbidden romance between a coyote and a fox. However, there’s only one possible outcome when a snake and a mouse get up close and personal, and if you look closely at the mouse’s face, it knows.
Hi and Lois – Hi always has to one-up Lois in the work anecdotes department. “Oh yeah? Well, a guy came into my office today and flipped me the bird.”
@Voshkod: “Estelle, put a mask on!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“The latest management theory says I shouldn’t supervise so closely”
“From now on you’re all in charge of setting your own schedules!”
“Really?”
@treetown: track guy here…1:35.xx is an absolutely insane 4×200 time for HS girls. The top time at the IHSA state finals (Illinois) was 1:38.xx, a phenomenal time. The national HS record is 1:33.43, and hasn’t been topped in 10 years.
Also…schools tend to load up the 4×100 and 4×400 relays before the 4×200, in general. Not always, but 4×200 tends to be the forgotten sprint relay given where it falls in the meet — edited to explain that, in the standard order of events the 100 is followed immediately by the 4×200, so most schools, your fastest runners, won’t run both of those events.
6ix Chix: Mouse to snake: “You ever been eaten? I mean, properly?” Snake: “Funny, I was about to ask you the same question, Sugar.”
@Ukranazi Stepan: Like the drunken idiot Alan in “The Hangover 3”?
6 of the Chix: That’s one of Mark Trail’s catchphrases: “Faster than a jackrabbit on a date, Rusty!” But Rusty hasn’t found out what the old man is talking about yet.
The Familliar Mucus:”But we wanna vote for Nixon! He’s tanned, rested, and ready!”
@Dennis Jimenez: how’d you like a wild hare up your ass
Winnar.
Josh will never bestow the COTW to this’un though, no doubt weeping due to simple jealousy.
Hi and Lois: Lois suddenly realized that the enormous house and yard she and Hi purchased years ago, in the suburbs of a small city that frequently makes those “Best Places to Live” lists, could now be worth a fortune on the open market. Then she looked at the Thurstons’ house next door, with its gross yard and grosser resident, and quickly calculated how depressed the property values in their particular corner of the neighborhood must be. And that’s when she started searching the internet for “how to inject cyanide into a closed can of beer.” (She quickly received simple, six-step instructions from Google’s AI Overview, which was extremely helpful but also kind of disturbing for its own reasons.)
@White Rabbit: But Rusty hasn’t found out what the old man is talking about yet.
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He’s pretty sure it has something to do with pancakes.
Tortoise to hare: “Whatever. I prefer a partner who takes their time, anyway.”
Six Chix: A simple concept like speed-dating – just getting to know a lot of people in a short amount of time – and all that you perverts here can think about is sex. Typical.
Everyone I know understands that you don’t even hold hands until the third speed-date. Real quick-like, of course. More than enough.
H&L: Judging by the kitchen counter, Lois has already begun packing.
MW: Ed promising to make Estelle happy is an ominous foreshadowing of doom, like a soap opera character suddenly developing a cough. If overworking doesn’t take him out, that huge goiter on his neck probably will.
Hi and Lois-Wait a minute here. Lois has a job outside of the home?
RMMD-And thus a future serial killer is born. “I need to find out if human guts are like pumpkin guts.”
Good news! This Mary Worth arc has months left to go.
Just wait until that new vet Ed hires turns out to be yet another old flame…
*Wondering to myself* Do comments that have typos or spelling mistakes automatically get disqualified from achieving COTW and the runners up list or put up as originally posted?
*Still wondering* Has any comment made the list with typos and/or spelling mistakes?
@A good hide and seek player is hard to find: I know at least one of my comments with a glaring typo in it made the runner up list.
@Anonymous: I imagine that the Pizza Box Monster’s day job is “freelance corporate mascot.” You’ve got a pizza restaurant? Farmer’s market stand? Pawn shop? Car dealership? Tax preparing place? Bank? No matter your line of business, put the Pizza Box Monster to work for you! Guaranteed to attract attention for YOUR business!
@treetown: @LTJpezcore1: There are some writers who deserve a bit of occasional “Maybe he meant…” leeway, but Henry Barajas is far from one of them. Fact is, he specified it was the 4x100m relay. Like with with pretty much every other sport, he clearly didn’t do his homework, either on what a good time would be, the general physical capabilities of someone doing intense athletic training on an anorexic diet, or (as others have noted) even what the “4” in “4×100” means.
@jroggs: I am starting to wonder if he just doesn’t work, or if he’s deliberately trolling. It’s pretty amazing how he never gets anything about sports right.
@Victor Von: Speak entirely for yourself.
I couldn’t bother to read Crankshaft this week. Anything funny happen?
“Luann” continued…
Kip: “Come, Tiff. Let me bang you now.”
Tiff: (crying) “But Kip, I have no vagina!”
Kip: “So? Neither does Stef.”
FG:
“Prince Thun never strikes unless he knows who he’s fighting”
After proper introductions only then does Prince Thun commence to pound the crap out of you.
MW: Stell is taken aback when Ed’s new partner is the spitting image of Wilbur. “All the hunk without the junk! (sigh)”
@Baseball Biff:
“Kip: “So? Neither does Stef.”
Tiff: “So how do you, you know?”
Kip: “In her butt.”
Tiff: (crying) “But Kip, I have no anus either.”
CS: I see the two nondescript blondes finally came out of the ladies room.
@GarrisonSkunk:
You’re right, but it would be amazing.
@Ukulele Ike Y 132: And I am mystified by the little tin-can knight dude with the semaphore head flags; can you explain what the hell he is?
That’s Sir Dudley, a Scots Knight whose armor is a tin can. The flags show his general mood, ’cause it’s hard to put expressions on a face you never see. His situation always raises questions, like how does he eat and then, um, deal with the results. He is best friends with Boody, so I guess that’s a plus.
(Incidentally, today Justin reran the first Halloween Mythtickle from 2005. With a bad pun, of course.)
@I speak Jive: Sympathies! But perhaps you looked more adorable in it than I did:-). And my hairline is climbing anyway.
GA: Yep, this is dreadful. But at least, as far as I can tell, the icky doll has been left behind. When you can’t unhook yourself from following GA, little things mean a lot.
LUANN: There is no interpretation of the past few years of LUANN that makes Kip look good, or even halfway bright. Sorry, Evansii.
JP: I see Neddy starring in CSI NEW YORK, as the corpse. Declan, Ronnie, and Sophie are just a few of the suspects.
6C: Everyone’s commented on the snake and the mouse, but what’s the deal with the fox (coyote? small wolf?) and the weasel (otter? large ferret?)? Is there a body of lore about … canids and mustelids of some type … being proverbial enemies that I know nothing about?
DT: Goodness, we jumped from “When is something going to happen?” to “This doesn’t make any damn sense” very quickly there, even for a Costello script.
(Perhaps I’m being unfair — it is, after all, supposed to be unclear what’s going on early in a detective story, and it’s entirely possible that once all the pieces fall into place, it will make perfect sense that the development company that’s revitalising the old factory is also hiring people who think babbling about xylophones means they don’t have to pay transit fares. But it’s Eric Costello, so I wouldn’t put money on it.)
FC: Look, I’m prepared to suspend my disbelief about a lot of things when I’m reading the comics. But I refuse to accept that Billy — Billy! — correctly added up his and his siblings’ ages.
JP: Neddy Spencer-Driver: a woman so self-absorbed that once she starts into a speil about how much her life sucks, even Reena can’t derail it with a quippy non sequiteur! That’s literally Reena’s entire narrative function!
Phantom: Avarice is ready for its close-up, Mr DePaul! It’s still big, it’s the natural satelites that got small!
RMMD: True story, last year I wasn’t sure I was going to do Hallowe’en, so it was the day itself that I suddenly realised I needed a jack o’lantern. No time to go to the supermarket, and the local shop was all out of pumpkins. “Okay,” I thought, “I’m Scottish. I can go old-school. Let’s try a traditional turnip lantern!” Which is all a run-up to assuring the Morgan kids that “goop” is much better than trying to hollow out a vegetable made of solid, unyielding matter.
It turned out okay, though, even if we didn’t actually get any guisers. And the turnip soup I made was good too!
S4th: “Hallowe’en block party.” Sure it is. I am absolutely not ruling out my wicker man theory at this point.
@jroggs: But remember, Declan’s utterly trustworthy family told Neddy that the entire relationship was a set up for Declan conning her. And since there’s exactly as much evidence for that as anything else they said, it must be true as well!
@Ukulele Ike: In normal places, sure. But the only difference between Neo-Chicago and Mega-City One is that we sometimes see Tracy without his hat.
MW: Obviously the animal masks are still in. Estelle’s already got one picked out for Wilbur, goo goo ga job.
RMMD: You really shouldn’t try comparing pumpkin guts to people guts until you’re in costume. Freddy Krueger or someone for the full effect.
6C: The mouse has family who were eaten by snakes, so it’s not sure this pairing has legs. Oops, well, you know.
@Baseball Biff: Only when I accidentally clicked on the shortcut to Calvin and Hobbes instead.
C-Shaft: Atomik Komix only exists so that it can lose enough money to keep Chester Hagglemore out of the higher tax brackets, but at some point even he would have to step in and prevent anything this awful going out under his name.
DT: Wasn’t expecting Axl to spout gibberish with no definite or indefinite articles. Just call him “the Russian with a Concussion” I guess.
Dustin: The Kudlicks thought they could evade panhandlers by not carrying cash. Oops.
GA: Crossover noted, but since magnetism is a universal physical force, I don’t think one nation could control it. Of course Arty did say this was the 60s, puff-puff.
JP: If you’re already sick of hearing Neddy bitch about her no-good ex-fiancé, rest assured that all of her friends and family will join you soon enough.
Luann: At this point it’s hard to tell if Tiffany likes Kip or just likes scenes. Probably a bit of both, thinking about it.
Phantom: Not gonna lie, Big Purple actually gets in a pretty good burn today, even if it’s only inside his skull. Avarice is indeed more faded movie star than Hal3000.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’d be more worried about Prince Thun biting me. Or taking a shit in my shoes.
@Dr. Pill: I think the Mythtickle pun is fine, I was more upset by “extremely old joke.” I’ve read this in children’s “spooky” picture books. When I was a children.
(No matter what the creator says in the note, that’s clearly the same Merlin and Karma we see today. If you want to see a drastic artistic development, compare today’s Questionable Content with the first strip, also more than 20 years old)
6C: “Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Title of your sex tape!”
GA: I heard it was he who controls the Spice, but whatever.
Luann: “Queen of Scenes” is presumably Stef’s nickname from her improv troupe.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Tiff: (crying) “But Kip, I have no anus either.”
Kip: “So, how do you eliminate things?”
Tiff: “I throw up a lot.”
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: That has got to be a major disappointment. Clicking on Calvin and Hobbes and ending up with Crankshaft.
The Familiar Mucus: “I’m ” Uncle” Paul after Dad came home early and threw him into the trash compactor.”
@jroggs:
GT: A minute of research shows that 1:35:84 is an absolutely AWFUL time for the 4×100 relay
Extenuating circumstances here. Since both teams entered only two runners in the 4 x 100, the second runner, Keri for Milford, had to run just slightly behind Dorothy for the first 100. Then when Dorothy reached back and passed the baton to Keri for the second leg, Dorothy had to run just behind Keri so that she could take the hand-off for the third leg. Then for the anchor leg, Keri had to bust it to the finish, but she had already run 300 meters by then and she was a little gassed, and thus the slow time.
Let’s not question Henry Barajas’ knowledge of sports, okay?
LUANN: If “a scene” is made in a forrest (or, just as a hypothetical suggestion, a football field) and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?
LUANN (2): Oh by the way, fans of Kip and Stef: I doubt they are headed for a permanent split (I know all two of you were really worried about that there). This is just their viral promotion for the KitKat line of candy bars
Sex Organ V.D.: “Dad STILL gives me carp about when I asked him, ‘Why can’t I carve up my family’s enemies like jack-o-lanterns?”
GT: Okay, enough of the track. Can we please get back to football?
I want to see how the Mudlarks’ blind-side scrumkeeper handles Town Village City’s star left righthalf while still shutting down their roll-and-pick slalom flying spin.
Super-Fun-Pak – The show was a flop, and yet all the network executives loved the pitch for it.
@Peanut Gallery: Some gals are so superficial.
Blondie – Mr. Dithers is cosplaying Bianca Xunise. Dagwood better hope he takes that Pumpkin off before it rots.
@richardf8: Next, Mr. Dithers will be making love to a giant sandwich that was suppose to be Dagwood lunch.
@A good hide and seek player is hard to find: I have seen a number of comments containing little spelling and grammar boo-boos that were honored by scrotes and float rides and were posted as they first appeared. Being funny seems to be what counts.
@Horace Broon: I am impressed. When I found out about Halloween and turnips years ago, my first thought was that turning a turnip into a lantern would take levels of skill and determination that I don’t have. Pumpkins are easy, turnips are hard, literally of course.
@Poteet: I think it might be tough but interesting to carve out a carrot, cut out a small face on it then stick in a tiny LED light and a triple A battery. Mount it on a microphone stand then scare… well, nobody. A carrot is not really very scary.
@Baseball Biff: Then Dithers will whine and cry for 10 weeks straight that he has no friends and nobody likes him.
Dagwood: Do you want to talk about it?
Dithers: Talking? On my dime? You’re fired!!
…..WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE ME??