Mostly soapy Monday
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Mary Worth, 3/3/25
Big news, everybody: Wilbur’s back! Wilbur’s back, and he’s giggling coyly about the fun he’s been having on the Mayan Riviera. It’s funny, you’d think that after 20 years following this guy’s antics there wouldn’t be anything new he could say that on the surface seems largely unobjectionable but nevertheless sends me spiraling into a seething episode in which I curse the sea for rejecting him not once but twice. And yet here I am, starting my week staring “It was fun and relaxing… Hee hee!” in the face, and not liking it.
Dick Tracy, 3/3/25
Folks … big news … a third nephew has hit this Dick Tracy storyline. We are going to be treated to nephew after nephew, each more lightweight and gormless than the last, until we’re all nephew’d out.
Judge Parker, 3/3/25
Hey, remember how Sophie made Ann’s murder charge go away by hacking into drone footage and proving she didn’t do it? Well, everyone got a nice little thrill from that lovely moment, but it’s too bad that other exoneration drones weren’t following her around over her last couple decades of petty scams and whatnot because she’s definitely going to jail for that. Honestly kind of mean of the cops to let her have a big emotional moment out here on the courthouse steps just so they could arrest her and extradite her moments later.
Gil Thorp, 3/3/25
Hey, were you wondering how Marty’s drinking binge was going? Well, panel three has it all wrapped up in a nutshell: wild eyes, his hair long and greasy, his goatee subsumed into a shaggy beard, his usual polo shirts traded for some kind of vintage fur-lined coat. Honestly, he looks great. This is the coolest he’s looked in years. This is not the lesson we should be teaching our kids.
Pickles, 3/3/25
Ha ha! That’s funny, man. So, are you, uh, are you going to change the furnace filter or what.
164 replies to “Mostly soapy Monday”
MW: Wilbur’s learned from his last trip to Latin America, when he was scammed by a hot woman who claimed to love him. Sure, this time he got scammed by a hot woman again, but this time he knew he was being scammed and just enjoyed the ride.
Pickles: Worried that Grampa Pickles is exhibiting the early symptoms of a gas leak from an unmaintained furnace.
JP:
“You mean I can’t be happy for just one lousy day?”
“Not in THIS strip!”
MW: Oh, boy, Wilbur distinguished himself as the Speedo King of Cancun! Can’t wait until the neighbors come over for the slide show.
RMMD: Summer’s life, until two weeks ago, was a tub of ice cream and streaming. Now, she simply oozes culture? The art museum was always there.
GR: Marty is in need of whichever 12-step addresses Jeckyll and Hyde transformations.
Cancun? Wasn’t he going to Florida to interview hurricane victims?
RMMD: the tension created by that sense of invisible menace is just zzzzzz?.
MW: Moy really knows how to connect with her audience. Although, wanting to punch Wilbur’s face after his Hee Hee is probably not the reaction she intended.
MW: “Dawnie.” “Hee-Hee.” This is why we call him a man-baby.
MW:
I’ll bet Ma Barker and her boys had conversations just like this.
MW: Of course the next plot is Wilbur. The Wilburing will continue until morale improves.
JP: Sam sees Randy and Ann about to kiss and quickly makes up some charges to prevent the incest from unfolding.
MW I like that Dawn has put her car in ‘challenge mode’ but putting the steering wheel sideways on the door.
JP “Which state? I dunno. Not this one, anyhow. Sorry, that’s as much as I could be bothered to remember.”
Pickles is giving me somewhat uncomfy vibes relating to the “Five Nights at Freddy’s” movie.
To the scene where the protagonists make a pillow fort with a group of haunted animatronics, who are possessed by ghost children. Reactions being half:
“Daaaaw, they’re being allowed one last night to be kids again”
and half
“This is just wrong, also undoing the scary scenes from earlier”
But with Pickles, with the uncomfy vibes in comparison. It’s like with how the FNAF scene is blatantly uncomfortable, Pickles is subtly uncomfortable and I don’t know why because there is no reason it should be.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Wilbur said he was going to Cancun for a month after interviewing the hurricane victims.
Because local newspaper columnists make so much money they can afford to constantly gallavant off on absurdly lengthy exotic vacations. And editors have no problem with them dumping their actual work on random old ladies. In Moy’s world, anyway
Marmaduke: So we are not going to talk about the fact that Marmaduke’s owner (I refuse to look up his name) dropped acid.
MW – Wilbur’s back from Cancun? So much for protecting us from undesirables entering via the southern border….
DT – De-Fun the Police….
JP – Humorization of the Legal System….
GT – I just want to sit here with my 10:35 am drink and fill out my Proud Boy application form in peace….
Pickles – And don’t forget the fortified malt liquor – I’d go with Hurricane…or maybe Camo….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Enjoying Marty’s new spinoff series, “Football Elysium.”
EMPATHY [Medium: fail] – You’ve caused trouble here recently. Be reassuring, let her know you’re not looking for trouble.
YOU – I’m not here for any trouble, m’kay?
AUTHORTIY [Medium: fail] – She makes a face. This isn’t going well. Say something strong to recover.
YOU – I just want to have a drink, Beth. Alone.
BETH – I don’t feel sorry for you Marty. But Gil does for some reason.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS – Gil would continue to have compassion for a drunken wretch like you. He’s a coach, he’s everyone’s coach, and he wants you to be your best. No matter how often you fail him, and yourself.
INLAND EMPIRE – In the town center of Milford, Corina throws baseballs at a body hanging from a tree.
@Schroduck: “This time, I’ve decided to cut of the middleman and hired a hooker! I got a guaranteed lay before being conned out of money! See, I took Mary’s advice and I did learn from my experience!”
@The Rambling Otter: Also, Josh. Honestly, reading back on my comment. I propose that this blog get a “spoiler” tag option. Even in spite of the fact I’m probably the only one rambly enough to warrant one. I don’t really know.
Just a thought.
GT — I’m sorry, but you’re going to need to be much more specific about what an “86” entails, especially in Milford where it’s liable to be a variant of the wing-T that Gil employed fifteen years ago.
DT: We haven’t seen this nephew before because he was vacationing in Nice. (See what I did there?)
GIL TJORP: The “%$&” Marty is threatening to “pull again” is becoming Javier Bardem.
@astroboy: Sure they do. You just don’t understand the journalism industry. Remember how they gave Mark Trails an expense account to blow up boats and punch bearded ne’er-do-wells in the face?
If Karen Moy knew how to write, which she demonstrably does not, she would have done a story around 15 years ago where Wilbur loses his dead-media job and endures some sort of difficulty (i.e. depression, alcohol abuse) while dealing with the shock, anger and fear that come with the loss of a long-time source of income and stability. Then, perhaps merely out of boredom, Wilbur starts a true-survival-stories podcast called “I Shouldn’t Be Alive,” and the podcast goes viral, enabling Wilbur to start his own popular and profitable Youtube media company where he takes in 100% of the profits.
This would not only have solved the problem of a major character working at a job almost as obsolete as phone booth installation, it would also justify Wilbur’s expensive condo and exotic vacations lifestyle, since he could do his online show from Cancun or wherever.
@2+2=7: Pull my finger gag…never again…never again….
Maxwell Smart.
Meanwhile, Marty is hoping someone will 99 him.
JP: “Ann, you’re being handed over to another state; but as we seem to be the only people here, you can get a good head start. Run!“
Luann – This seems to be a perfect match since Phil is such a fan of vanilla.
Mary WorthPhantom: Are you nostalgic for comedic plots about social misdirection and dating hijinks, but don’t have the “Three’s Company” streaming channel? Have we got good news for you!(Seriously, Heloise, you couldn’t brief your brother beforehand? I thought you were the smart twin.)
Nice try, but no kid is going to ask “what’s a fortnight?” after hearing it spoken aloud. He’s not going to have the right impression of what it is, but he will have an impression.
GT: Beth starts the “86” process by soaking a rag from her bottle of ether.
GT: I love how in this universe, alcoholism manifests as lycanthropy.
Pickles: “What’s a fortnight?” I feel like any person under the age of 30 could tell you what that is, at least in the modern parlance. Seems like a real missed opportunity for a joke! Then again your majority 60+ readership probably wouldn’t have gotten it, so maybe you know what you’re doing.
Dustin: Oh look, I believe my sister will be interested in this arcane content that I am reading for some unfathomable reason.
CS: Ho ho ho! Ed’s a man of unyielding principles, and Ralph walked right into that one!
FC “I’m very disappointed in you, Dolly. That’s the kind of stupid shit your brothers do. I expected more from you.”
MW: “Oh do I have stories to tell! But first, Dawnie, we need to pop in to my doctor’s office on the way home. I need another shot of penicillin.”
Mary Worth: Come for the tales of romantic misadventure, stay for the inane chatter while driving through the walking path at the Santa Royale public park. It’s the Quentin Tarantino movie you always wanted and never got, hopefully ending in the bloody death of all the characters!
9CL: “That man” is a retired Episcopal clergyman visiting the beach with his three small grandchildren who just wanted to warn Edda that her swimsuit had crawled up into her buttcrack and she was currently mooning the three dozen fishermen on the pier. Now he’s thinking “Eh, she’s got worse problems.”
GT: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
JP: ”The good news is that it’s a firing squad state, not a electrocution one.”
Pickles: 30 years from now, that little boy will learn that it means “two weeks,” and be devastated that grandpa lied to him, and that he’s been wrong about it his whole life.
@Kirkout: Marmaduke’s owner is Adolf (although he hasn’t gone by that name since, oh, 1945).
MW: You’d think that the word balloon from a guy who’s spent a month in Cancun (or Tampa) might include one ‘hola’ but no. Wilbur might as well have been in Milwaukee.
Gil Thorp: Is Beth going to take Iggy Pop’s Lycanthropes Anonymous chip too?
@astroboy:
Wilbur the influencer?
Oh, the humanity!
@Hibbleton: Given the amount of drinking that goes on in Milwaukee, Wilbur would have fit right in. Though I don’t believe we have too much purple whiskey in the Badger State…
Dick Tracy: How does this fit with the Grand Unified Theory of Nephewism, though?
Wilbur wants to preserve his daughter’s purity, so he regales her with tales of his sex life, so that she might be grossed out of heterosexual sex. Unfortunately, if you looked inside Dawn’s mind while Wilbur talk, you’d see a monkey playing cymbals. Once again, Wilbur’s terribleness was thwarted by Dawn’s stupidity
“What?! They are putting me on trial again?! What about double jeopardy?!”
“What?! That only counts for the same crime, you can go on trial for each different crime! Where did you get this stupid understanding of the law? Oh right, you’re your father’s daughter!”
“What’s a fortnight?”
“Something very useful, because we can never agree on the meaning of ‘biweekly'”
MW: I feel like there’s a political statement to be made about how these two are the different sides of society with Gen X continuing to hoard jobs that they are barely qualified for and the young Millennials/older Gen Z unable to get into the job market because of said Gen Xers skewing the qualifications to impossible standards…
Oh, wait, it’s just the Westons. They can just take a trip to Kelrast Kurve.
I can’t wait to hear about the two or three times Wilbur fell off a ship, but he learned his lesson and immediately looked for a nearby exclusive resort where he could spend a free day or two.
***
Nobody responds with “In a fortnight,” like their sole reason for being is to force word play in a comic strip, Grandpa Pickles. Plenty of people do die of carbon monoxide poisoning though. Unless you’re hoping to painlessly end a miserable existence of deadlines and weak jokes, in which case carry on.
MW: Hey, how come Wilbur is still wearing that maroon polo? Are we to believe that, after a whole month in Cancun, Wilbur didn’t put out even a few pesos for a tropical shirt he could wear, even for those times when the maroon polo would be in the laundry? Does that shirt EVER come off? Or, is the maroon polo actually a tattoo, as I’ve always suspected? I wish Wilbur would raise his arms so we could verify that fact by seeing the combover hairs in his armpits….
@Charterstoned: Wilbur strikes me as someone who does his vacation shopping in the airport gift shop rather than the tourist traps where they snicker behind his back and refer to him as Señor Gordo.
The kid in Pickles should be asking what a furnace filter is and what it has to do with the massively popular online video game “Fortnite”
Marty could audition for the Caveman role in Geico ads, if he were a little less pathetic and quite a bit smarter.
Slylock Fox-Sadly they won’t show the signal Max came up with when he is mad at Slylock.
RMMD-“Augie, I want you to see me the way you see these French girls.”
MW-“In Cancun woman walked out on me and I stalked her the entire time I was there.”
MW-Dawn is hoping that Wilbur will fill her.
MW: It’s too bad that David Lynch is no longer alive. I would have loved to see how he would handle the smash cut from the last panel to the shot of the verdant leafy green area in Cancun where Wilbur buried the body.
It’s not the same as fart night. Here, let me show you.
Mary Worth – Wilbur stole a holy relic from a Mayan temple, and Wilbur is giggling because it depicts a topless lady. Unbeknownst to him, the Mayan Gods and Goddesses are furious, and will rain down a curse on Santa Royale until such time are the relic is returned.
Dick Tracy – Stealing corpses is merely the bait to engage readers in the true lesson: Nepotism is a real crime, robbing talented people of opportunities.
Judge Parker – You would think a good lawyer would have prepared their client for further legal cases following their murder trial. It wasn’t ethical to waive your client’s rights to an extradition hearing just because you are not licensed to practice law in those other states.
Gil Thorp – Marty is midway through his rebrand from local sports announcer/radio host to his true destiny: Marty Moonshiner.
Pickles – You know what is no joke? Basic home maintenance that keeps your family safe, keeps your home appliances running efficiently, and prevents costly repairs down the road.
Baby Blues: This is a comic where the dad has a nose as large as his arm so I’m not sure that having slightly larger than average eyeglasses is going to make him look any stranger.
Zits: If you have made it to the age of 16 and are that surprised that your mother can swear than I’d also assume that you have no awareness of sex either and that explains a lot about Jeremy and why he’s never even tried with his girlfriend
Mother Goose: Raggedy Ann also got a movie but it’s been largely forgotten because it’s an existential nightmare but in a different way than the Barbie movie was. At least the Raggedy Ann movie didn’t discuss her genitals.
Dennis the Menace: Mr Wilson has tricked Dennis into digging his own grave but he didn’t expect the other 2 children to be there as eyewitness and now he realizes he’s going to have to kill them all.
@Needless Exposition:
. . . the tourist traps where they snicker behind his back and refer to him as Señor Gordo.
Heh heh, Señor Cerdo es muy grande!
@Nobody:
Grandpa builds the fort first to trap his grandson in an enclosed space before turning it to fortnight. The bean burrito dinner should have been the tip off. The grandson will learn a valuable lesson
re: Guillermo el chiclero y#88: I used to work as a security guard at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, which is right next door to the Minnesota College of Art and Design, and it turns out that most of the guards at MIA are MCAD grads who couldn’t get a gallery show after graduation and, needing a paycheck, wandered over to MIA and filled out an application for whatever jobs were available. So the MIA guards are mostly young people with hip haircuts and tattoos under their uniforms and strong opinions about the art on display. Gallery guarding is mostly lightweight work of asking patrons not to touch things and showing people where the elevator is, but during the brief time I worked there, there was one actual violent altercation between two museum patrons that had to be broken up by a security guard/MCAD grad, who sustained an injury in the line of duty (I believe he fractured a bone).
Also, Summer’s visit to the museum gave me such a sense of deja vu, and I realized why: it looks overwhelmingly similar to the Phantom’s visit to the Met in 2018, also drawn by Mike Manley: https://joshreads.com/2018/03/mamma-mia-that-harlans-one-a-spicy-meatball/
Luann: People crap on vanilla all the time, but that’s unfair. It’s a wonderful flavor, surprisingly chemically complex and has withstood the test of time. That said, how boring is your life that Luann is the spice?
GT: “I saw a werewolf with Gil’s old fashioned in his hand
Walking through the streets of Milford in the rain
He was looking for the place where Gil’s girlfriend works,
Gonna get a big dish of Hoo root beer.
Ah-hoo, werewolves of Milford
You hear him howlin’ around the high school gym
You better not let him in
Another long time character got mutilated late last night
New artist and writer in Milford again
Ah-hoo, werewolves of Milford
He’s the hairy-handed gent who ran amok in Central
Lately he’s been overheard in Valley
You better stay away from him, he’ll broadcast wrestling on the radio Jim
Huh, I’d like to meet him at the weight lift off contest
Ah-hoo, werewolves of Milford
Well, I saw Jack Berrill walkin’ with the Queen
Doin’ the werewolves of Milford
I saw Carina Karenna walkin’ with the Queen
Doin’ the werewolves of Milford
I saw a werewolf drinkin’ a whiskey at Barney’s
And his hair was not perfect
Ah ooo, werewolves of Milford
Draw better
MW – ♪ When the swallows come back to Capistrano…
MW – Don’t you just hate it when a regular character in a long-running franchise suddenly has a nickname that they never had before, and all the characters act like that’s been their nickname all along?
DT – The sign in the third panel of today’s strip is a tease. The only way I’ll get interested in this storyline is if Count Morgu makes an appearance.
@pugfuggly:
Re MW: Thank you for pointing that out! It goes into my collection of MW art train wrecks, alongside Six-Fingered Wilbur.
GT – Has Gil Thorp time-jumped to Cave Man Era, or is Beth just overdue for her aesthetician appointment for browlift, nose shrinking, and general hotness?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Your face is on TV, Juan!”
“My face will be on every TV from now on!”
“Where are we going?”
“To see the future!”
[Sign: T.V. SHOP]
“Big Brother is the best part I ever landed!”
@Philip: They aren’t all cursed already? Makes me wonder how Santa Royale can get worse, actually scratch that, I don’t want to know how it can get worse.
@Kirkout:
Marmaduke has breached into the Dr. Seuss universe, in violation of several treaties. Camp Swampy has been put on high alert.
@pugfuggly @Peanut Gallery: Seems like the standards to draw Mary Worth are just as low as the standards to write Mary Worth.
DT: It’s nephews all the way down.
MW: So the schlub is back … and you know what that means. More scenes in the Weston apartment. Which brings us to the Willa Situation. We’re still goin’ back and forth with The Ladies about her future there and haven’t yet signed a new agreement for her continuing role. We’re demanding a lotta guarantees about her working conditions and her character development. It’s just a matter of who blinks first now…. and Fish don’t blink.
GT: And what happened to Silver, the Horse who got all the buzz last week? We were so impressed by his skills that we hoped to sign him on after his GT gig. When my Intern went over there – disguised as a Horseshoe salesman – to give him the pitch, no one seemed to know anything about him, acted like there never had been a Horse on the set! Weird. Silver just disappeared – like a Pale Horse in the mist… or a Brown Horse in the s###storm, whatever.
MW: I imagine that Brigman only goes along with drawing these insipid plots after drinking liquid courage to dull the fact that she’s pretty much sold her soul.
Moy however is perfectly aware of what she’s writing, she just doesn’t care.
Also she has June Brigman’s soul.
MW: Oh great, he is back. Since no one has heard from Wilbur in the last month–never called or texted to check up on his daughter–I assumed he took yet another plunge from a cruise ship and Poseidon made it stick this time. I guess the western cousin of Charybdis keeps spitting him out.
I can’t help but imagine the Odyssey retold with Wilbur in the title role. I think I need to eat some lotus.
@Kirkout: It pretty much says that both Wilbur and Dawn are equally self absorbed, especially since the former has been known to let people think that he was dead and the latter only cares about how she’s going to spread her latest herpes outbreak.
Today, the part of Marty Moon will be played by a grizzled French-Canadian voyageur with eyes that echo the emptiness of the far north, a soul harrowed by the wonder and terror of aurora borealis, and a tongue still remembering the taste of human flesh.
Oh, and a body odor that would repel a polar bear.
GT: At least Marty found a lucrative side gig posing in an Ice Age diorama at the American Museum of Natural History.
@Little Blue Bicycle:
Wonderful. Great job.
@Kirkout: Odor-ysseus (Bleh, that’s all I’ve got)
@Peanut Gallery: Nosferatu is back.
Can Count Morgu be far behind?
Dick Tracy: If the villainess, whatever her name was, Claire? During the final battle pulls out a whistle, blows it, summoning at least three hundred Nephews to attempt to rush Tracy to death. This might be forgiven.
MW-So many college coeds with Daddy issues that they took out on Wilbur.
“You’re being handed over to another state to face trial. Then the Feds want a turn. I have an Interpol Red Notice, and I think you’re about to be indicted by the International Criminal Court in the Hague. So, uh, pack a toothbrush. Or several.”
Wilbur met a new pretty, young lady from south of the border who is out to scam him. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I’ll happily sign this power of attorney document giving you power over my bank accounts, dear.
MW: oh, if I got a dollar for every time I heard or said “Shut up, Wilbur”, I’d………
Hmmmmmm.
Maybe THAT’S how Wilbur affords those monthlong trips to Cancun.
Marty Moon’s face is giving me life on an otherwise miserable Monday.
Current iteration of Marty Moon has definitely tasted human flesh.
GT:
“Marty, why is it that everyone in the strip these days looks as if they’re in the same hologram that Jor-El and his wife were in while they were speaking to the baby Superman as he hurtled toward earth?”
Fortnight, schmortnight. You got to call a week a “sennight” to impress me.
@pugfuggly: #10
“JP “Which state? I dunno. Not this one, anyhow. Sorry, that’s as much as I could be bothered to remember.””
“I dunno…pick one!”
Dawn is clearly driving away from the city, down a dirt road and into the woods. I don’t think you’re coming back to Charterstone this time, Wilbur. Mary has already dug a shallow grave out near the quarry where Toby lies in wait with her surprising sharp sculpting tools. The condo board votes, Wilbur, and the vote was unanimous. And if anyone asks, you stayed in Mexico. Forever.
@astroboy: Thanks for the correction. But I really wanted to see Wilbur traipsing around Florida, annoying people who have long since returned to their normal lives, because hurricanes are a standard part of life there. Imagine Wilbur walking up to you and saying this:
“Hi, I’m ‘Ask Wendy.’ An actual woman who lives in my expensive L.A. condo is writing my column this week, so I could come here and ask you this question: what was it like experiencing a Category 3 storm six months ago? And can you make it quick? I’ve got to pack for a month in Cancun.”
@UncleJeff: Thanks!
@Needless Exposition: But up to now, Brigman’s been a lot better than Giella. Maybe the writing is starting to get to her.
GT: Marty hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. That won’t happen until he’s Gil’s assistant coach.
Pickles: Even before the kid would have responded, “But Grandpa, Fortnite is a videogame!”, Grandma would probably have responded, “I was hoping you would replace the filter today. I’m not going to let you wait two weeks and forget about replacing it.”
DtM – Speaking of soiling, that’s what Mr. Wilson just did to his shorts.
Lalo Y Lola Spanish to English.
@Dan: #9:
“Of course the next plot is Wilbur”
Just like we’ve always been at war with Eastasia.
Mary Worth: I was kinda hoping that Wilbur’s trip to the Mayan Rivera would end in him being used as a blood sacrifice by a Precomlubian revivalist cult or murdered by a cartel that puts the footage of his death on live leaks or eaten by a jaguar or…
Gil Thorp: Marty’s drinking problem is causing him to devolve into a Neanderthal!
Pickles: Man, this one is REALLY labored.
LUANN: I dunno, Phil. Even vanilla has something resembling “taste.” Luann is more the “(unpasteurized) flavorless ice milk” of dates.
BB – The truck is full? Then how did Beetle get out there in the first place? Wouldn’t he have ridden in the truck? Where did those extra bodies come from? I’m not saying that I have the answer, but I suspect it involves hookers.
You’re right. There is nothing new after 20 years you can say about Wilbur. Get a real job, Josh.
Pickles: That’s right, Grandpa, you should build a sofa cushion fort and a blanket fort. That way, you can stir up lots of extra dust, which your furnace fan will suck in, clogging the dirty filter even more. Eventually, this will strain the entire furnace mechanism, leading to a repair that costs hundreds of dollars — all because you know what “fortnight” means, but didn’t realize that when the HVAC guy said the filter should be changed biannually, he meant twice a year, not once every two years. Language is funny!
JP – I’m not a lawyer, but I think that “acquitted” doesn’t mean the same thing as “the charges were dropped.”
I hope Yelich shows up to escort Ann to the other state. I have Yelich in the dead pool, and it’s a bonus if Ann is collateral damage.
Gil Thorp – That’s the most abysmal, abominable artwork I have ever seen. I don’t read Luann because the artwork is so ugly, but the Luann artwork looks like Prince Valiant compared to GT. Even the artwork in Close to Home looks better in comparison, although Close to Home will always be an incomprehensible, unfunny Far Side wannabe.
Rex Morgan – What’s that saying? Something about don’t go to restaurants for the artwork or art museums for the food.
9CL – The man is standing a fair distance from them. If his very presence bothers Mummy, he is obviously a beefwit.
Such delightful children.
@Peanut Gallery: If Wilbur had called her “nerdgirl,” I would have become Karen Moy’s biggest fan.
@2+2=7: My headcanon about the current Luann story is that Phil and Luann are attending some uber-Christian college, like BYU or Grand Canyon or Liberty or Bob Jones. That would explain the high level of tension, the excessive concern for rules and boundaries, and the ultra-lame choice of activities. I went to a high school like this, and this was exactly the kind of thing that went on.
@I speak Jive: (9CL) Everyone is a lech in this strip, and Edda has such breathtaking beauty that men constantly give her unwanted attention. Like, you know, awkwardly waving to say “hello” or some other unspeakable thing.
9CL – Characters in this feature don’t “go swimming”, they just “stand around in 2′ of white water all day”.
Best is when they go down to the ocean first, wade in until only their heads are visible, then stand around all day.
I don’t think Brooke can draw a human being who is swimming, and considers it too much work anyways, so he settles for having them just standing around in the water ALL THE TIME.
@Ukelele Ike #Y100 – I’m happy that I checked to see if your comment showed up. I loved the painting of the chickens, which I’d never seen before. I also liked the other paintings you linked to. I love art, and you have introduced me to several artists I didn’t know.
I really want to go to the Art Institute of Chicago, although I don’t know when we’ll go back there. We were there before for our son’s wedding.
The fountain was interesting – it reminded me of Bernini’s Four Rivers fountain. That’s on my bucket list, although it’s even less likely that I’ll go back to Rome.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Did Get Smart have a visual equivalent of the Cone of Silence? I feel like Gil Thorp needs that.
@Cleveland Mocks: Imagine Wilbur approaching clothing companies and makers of grooming products to promote their products. They’d laugh in his face.
The only company that might pay him to promote their products is the restaurant with the pig on its takeout bags.
MW: I’d say they were lazy to put a brochure photo of some car in today’s strip, but
1) It’s sorta their trademark, and
2) We don’t need to see Wilbur’s face saying “hee hee”.
BG&SS: Snuffy being in charge of a toddler’s well-being suggests there’s no Child Protective Services in the town. Or the state.
RMMD: On my phone, held vertically, the Comics Kingdom rendition seemed to cut off the last panel or two of today’s strip. Then I rotated to horizontal and found out that, no, that’s all of it.
Why I figured on the appearance of Goatee McSexpest, some punchline, or cliffhanger is beyond me.
BB was picked up by a North Korean in a fake Uber after killing the real driver. Beetle got released so fast because real torture is child’s play next to his daily beating from Sarge.
Luann: Phil is drawing me in. No joke.
@I speak Jive: Thanks! I love the Four Rivers Fountain and pretty much everything Bernini did. We sat through an entire Roman mass once so we could get up close and personal with The Ecstasy of St. Teresa without offending any priests or little old ladies.
Taft was a secular American sculptor who excelled at big scary statues; the Fountain of the Great Lakes allegorical figures are only slightly colossal, and girls, so it isn’t as intimidating as his Fountain of Time down near the U. Of Chicago, or his 50-foot Big Indian on a bluff over the Rock River or his terrifying Alma Mater (“Run away! Run away!”) at the U. Of Illinois.
MW: EVERYTHING IS BAD AND THE STRIP MAKES ME FEEL BAD. HEE HEE.
Crank: Clunky exposition alert! “My friend Walt, who lives at Bedside Manor, the retirement home, has asked me to play pickleball, the tennis-like sport played with a hard plastic ball. Would you like to be my partner, Ed, since you are also my friend, which is why we are currently sitting together at the Dale Evans Restaurant?”
DT: Two days ago, Liz agreed to be “Miss Mean” to Lee’s “Miss Charming”. So yesterday she reacted to everything the guy said with undisguised hostility, and went full Finger-Quotin’ Margo as she conveyed her scepicism that these so-called “breaks” were even a real thing (while Lee’s “Miss Charming” role apparently consisted of saying absolutely nothing). Today she’s wondering why he was so nervous!
JP: Ces has finally remembered that Ann is actually guilty of a whole bunch of other crimes. Now we get to spend a week on them working out why she doesn’t have to answer for them after all, because although Driver-Spencer-Parkers never stop complaining about their drama-filled lives, they can’t ever suffer actual consequences for anything! That sounds like something that happens to poor people!
QC: I normally don’t comment on webcomics here, but I was really hoping Faye would explain to Anh that if she wants to start living in the real world, lesson one is “Others are not there for your convenience, and are entitled to tell you to sod off.” I know Jeph Jacques likes having the main cast bounce off awful, self-centred characters, but they just keep getting more awful and less sympathetic.
@taig: As we’ve seen here (based on a Classic Mary Worth panel Josh excavated from the “before times”) that’s really more her mother‘s purview.
My comment at #109 is jammed. Does the ‘bot really hate Lorado Taft this much?
@astroboy: MW: “Dawnie.” “Hee-Hee.” This is why we call him a man-baby.
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Not the adult diapers?
@Horace Broon: I give Anh a pass ‘cause she’s cute.
Pluggers: Does a bear put a cap on his balls in the forest?
Pickles: It’s funny, because he’s never going to change that furnace filter, is he? Oh that Earl!
Gil Thorp: “Cro-Magnon man thawed from glacier, resumes normal daily life chatting up the local talent at a bar. Film at eleven!”
Apartment 3-G: It’s too bad Josh has turned off the comments in the pages he linked to. We have some witty remarks to make about nerdboy Evan keeping his ex-boss’s business card with him, but they would be out of place if we posted them here.
MW: “I have so much to tell you, but it can be summarized in two words actually: Speedo Malfunction.”
Luann: “You’re not vanilla, are you?”
I don’t know about today’s last two comics, but the juxtaposition of the first three all involve a driver in some way.
@Ukulele Ike: Lorado Taft!? Slowly I turned… step by step… inch by inch…
@112 Ukulele Ike:
Most likely. Lorado Taft is the antithesis of AI. He is quite talented,
@Rita Lake: #57: In my experience with the Columbus and Houston art museums years ago I saw a lot of old geezers working there. I guess the Minneapolis Institute of Art is fortunate to have and institution of higher learning next door that gives them a steady supply of unemployable but young and healthy graduates to fill their hiring pool. The oldsters have to become Walmart greeters now.
@astroboy: To be fair, Karen Moy did “explain” this (in the awkward, passive-aggressive manner of the comic’s namesake of course!) Wilbur suppliments his meager columnist income with alimony and child-support payments (hey, a 10th year college student is a growing girl!) from his blueblood ex-wife (not to mention whatever money he gets raiding Dawn’s trust-fund inheritance when she’s distracted by boyfriend # 676 or whatever.)
I haven’t been a big fan of the new GT art style- or even, like, a fan at all- but that close-up of a horribly disheveled Marty Moon is simply exquisite.
FG: Don’t be so hard on Ming, Pepa. At least he made sure your Lizzard folk had steady lifetime employment. That vokko wine isn’t going to make itself, and I’ll bet he let you guys drink all the rejected batches.
FG: Ukulele Ike, you’re our resident gourmand. What are the best years for Mongovian vokko wine?
FC: Don’t be mad, Mommy. We put the bread slices back, in order , too. Except the heel ends, those we put in PJ’s diaper. You wouldn’t believe how absorbent those things are.
FC: I wonder if Bil Keane when thinking up this cartoon actually took out a unopened loaf of bread and counted out the slices?
@Sequitur: I was responding to I Speak Jive and put in four links to Taft images, which probably broke the bank. Well, three to Taft and one to Bernini.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Really? So you could, theoretically, visit the Houston or Columbus Art Museums, find a nice painting that matched your sofa, slip it under your jacket and run, and the old geezers would be unable to chase you down and retrieve it? Theoretically, I mean.
FC: Judging by the boys’ facial expressions, the bread isn’t the only baked item in today’s panel.
@Guillermo el chiclero: If someone offers you a glass of Mongovian vokko wine, tell them you’d prefer an iced shot of the Mongovian winkko vodka.
Damn, the lizard women of Mongo are some ugly fuckers. Please tell me they don’t have forked tongues.
FG: Lion people, Shark people, Lizard people. That’s the one thing sci-fi shows and movies don’t tell you. That Outer Space is a Furry Paradise.
@Bugs: Entertainment is entertainment, we’re entertained. He’s doing his job.
@The Rambling Otter: “That sci-fi movies and shows don’t tell you”
Well, except for Star Fox.
(Today’s Gil Thorpe was directed by Sergio Leone, with Eli Wallach in the role of Tuc… er, Marty Moon.)
@128 Ukulele Ike:
Ah. Three links are usually the limit in a post.
@Ukulele Ike: #128: Now that you mentioned it, when I was living in Columbus back in the 70s someone did swipe a Picasso print right off the wall of the Columbus museum.
@The Rambling Otter: Well, the idea that Earl would present childlike spontaneity, even if only to avoid swapping one cardboard box filter for another, does engender a certain amount of cognitive dissonance.
Six Chex And A Cat Named Jane Jetson In Search Of A Punchline: Thanks for keeping us abreast of the Great Shoulder Pad Shortage of ’25! What would we do without ya?
@Sequitur: Ah. Three links are usually the limit in a post.
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What if one prefers patties ?
MW-“Oh no, Dad. We’re out of gas.”
My GOD does Marty look horrible
One drink and he lost everything
@Sequitur: Thanks! I had better keep my passion for the arts under control.
@Guillermo el chiclero: At least until I take a trip to Columbus.
@The Rambling Otter: Outer Space is a Furry Paradise.
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Does the universe explode if one parodys a parody? If not, I think “Furry Paradise” could be a chart topper for Weird Al Ottervick!
@csroberto2854: My GOD does Marty look horrible
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He’s starting to morph into Maynard G. Krebbs!
“WORK?!?!”
GT: Unshaved, fur wearing Marty goes full neanderthal as he prepare for an evening in Barney’s dinosaur themed pub.
@Liam:MW-“Oh no, Dad. We’re out of gas.”
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Not quite yet, Dawnie! The cow who gave me the Murdered Cow Burger I ate for lunch had one more burst of methane in her! (FART!) That was a real window rattler wasn’t it? You did get Car Shield™ didn’t you? Didn’t think your old Dad still had it in him did you?” “Ba ba ba ba!” “Well,Yes, THATS true, Dawnie, technically I DON’T have it in me anymore, its floating around the car now.” “Ba ba ba?” “Do I think you’re a nerd, Dawnie? Why do you ask that?”
When did Gil Thorpe start being written by Fredrick Exley?
@4 Banana Jr. 6000: and @12 astroboy:
Yes, Wilbur revealed his plans on December 8, 2024.
Just before the Dirk story.
GT: Maybe Marty is auditioning for a role in Tales from the Crypt
Pluggers: What? That’s just a camo hat, as worn by millions of Plugger Militia members.
GT: What you haven’t seen is that Marty pawned his 12″ tube TV to pay for this one drink. He’s already pawned his typewriter that got him through journalism school and into his position as the voice of Milford high school sports.
Distinctions to little *hastily scans Pickles article on Wikipedia* Nelson on being the one American under 40 who doesn’t hear the word “fortnight” and immediately think of the video game Fortnite.
The art in Gil Thorp is so ugly.
@Schroduck: @White Rabbit: He’s already pawned his typewriter that got him through journalism school and into his position as the voice of Milford high school sports.
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Tune in next week as Marty pawns his vocal cords! Watch as he scrawls “THEY’RE VALUABLE! HONEST! THEY MADE ME THE VOICE OF MEDFORD SPORTS! I’M THE MAIN VOICE OF THE TRI- SPORTS-COMIC AREA! TANK MCNAMARA AND CLEATS’ RADIO GUYS WISH THEY HAD MY PIPES!” ,
on a cocktail napkin.
@White Rabbit: I’m not certain when exactly the price of booze in bars went so wildly out of control, but currently the cost of two drinks in a public place is about that of a liter of good liquor from a shop. This is a good thing, as an alcoholic is more likely to stay home to drink than drive back and forth to a tavern.
@Guillermo el chiclero: when I was living in Columbus back in the 70s someone did swipe a Picasso print right off the wall of the Columbus museum.
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It was “Alice”, she thought it was a mirror.
Charles Schulz said that the strip where Linus asks Lucy if he’s buttering his bread too loudly after she complains he’s been making too much noise was based on a real occurrence with his children. So I’m wondering (why isn’t exactly clear) if today’s FC isn’t based upon a real incident sometime in the Keane household. It’s the kind of thing that could happen to a cartoonist with young children desperate to find a topic before deadline.
Gina’s too well-dressed to be digging in Mr. Wilson’s garden. OTOH, he seems to keep a supply of child-sized gardening tools handy for those times he can sucker the neighborhood kids into doing free work for him (probably with the help of fresh-made cookies from Mrs. Wilson). In retirement, he has the time to think about such scams.
FC – Next question: How many bones are there in the human body? We’re gonna find out the same way.
@157 Peanut Gallery:
*snork!*
Pluggers – Yes, it’s a lousy joke, but I don’t think it was bad enough to justify sending the author of it to The Hague.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Except keep in mind that Luann attends a junior college and there’s also a university nearby that’s just as uptight. See 12/13/2019 and 1/27/2020 for the quote/unquote “wild hijinks” these university students get up to.
@Ukulele Ike: I’m not certain when exactly the price of booze in bars went so wildly out of control,
Probably something to do with the impending tariffs on Scotch whisky, Crown Royal, cognac, and tequila. Marty will have to start drinking Stoly shots, if he knows what’s good for him.
JumpStart — I think they actually ship a lot of that stuff overseas. Of course, there’s probably some isolated community that thinks that Jim Kelly is the GOAT for having won 4 super bowls in a row.