The guy she’s killing is definitely not an immediate threat, right? Like this one’s just for fun
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Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/26
I assumed those plewds were supposed to be sweat, but then Herb mentions “crying” in the last panel and that sets up a much funnier possibility, which is that they’re tears and he’s fully dissociated from himself, his body weeping openly due to stress and unexpected exertion but his mind managing to hold a coherent conversation for at least a few minutes, before he presumably shuts down entirely.
Judge Parker, 2/25/26
Not satisfied with all the people she killed in the massive explosion that heralded her arrival, April is now straight-up gutting a dude like a fish, right in front of her beloved, soft-handed husband. Weird how the awful last sound the guy will ever make is exactly the same one that Charlie Brown makes when he tries and fails to kick a football that Lucy is holding, honestly!
Luann, 2/25/26
This one could have been drawn to make it clear that Frank is chuckling ruefully over his unrealistic youthful fantasies and obviously realizes now that being a faithful husband and father is more rewarding than some burnout musician lifestyle. But that is not his facial expression at all. He still 100% wishes he was in a band and resents every single person in this room for holding him back.
83 replies to “The guy she’s killing is definitely not an immediate threat, right? Like this one’s just for fun”
Mary Worth Mashups: Let’s stop by Edison, New Jersey. Which “Trixie” will end up being canon?
JP: How can we be a hundred percent positive she’s not stabbing Randy?
MW: Yeah, this storyline is definitely giving “Big Sis Billie” vibes. Let’s hope it turns out better for Mister H (or not, he’s a character we’ve never met before and never will again, so who cares).
Luann’s Dad stole Jeremy Zits’s purple shirt to reminisce about wanting to be a rock star as a teen.
RMMD-While trying to escape some lawyers Rex will hide out in Lorna Starr’s home.
FC-“We met perfectly legally and not in a truck stop bathroom.”
Luann-Could you play an instrument? Could you sing? Did you even try to be a rock star?
Wary Morth:
We me when she wrote me an email that began “Dear freind, pardon my indignation at having to touch you in such a manner, but I found your email address on a website and I immediately knew you were the right recipient to share the Hugh some of money my late husband left me…”
JP: April, haven’t you ever heard the term never bring a knife to a gunfight?
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Wow! Comment appeared! Incredible.
JP:
“Here’s a little wordplay to lighten the mood, Randy: if we could bring our daughter here to be with us, would that make her ‘Arctic Char ?”
@Hibbleton: That’s absolutely what I thought was happening. I had to read it three times to decide that there’s supposed to be a third person in this scene.
H&J I am *not* a fan of Jamaal’s sly look in that last panel. Is he getting off on Herb’s pain? Does he think we are too? Buddy, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy seeing your friend suffering, but I can assure you its not sexual.
JP “AAAAARGH stubbed my toe! Who leaves a stool in the middle of the room like that?!”
Luann I just realized that if this is indeed taking place today, there’s a good chance that Luann’s dad was in a Nü-Metal band, and that makes me at once laugh and feel incredibly depressed…
Herb’s out-of-body experience will be particularly difficult given his job in the kitchen… It’s hard to chop stuff with numb extremities. Jamaal will need to pull double duty until he can convince Herb that exercise is for losers so that he stops coming back weeping with numbness and pain.
JP: They’re also going to take Bogdan, right? It would just be mean not to take Bogdan.
Luann: Great — now I have BTO’s “Takin’ Care of Business” going through my head.
JP:
“Oh, Im not killing him. I just showed him the next three weeks of ‘plot’ in the strip!”
J&K: It stops when you die, Herb. Welcome to middle age!
this mfer said “J&K”
JP – It just goes to show how, whenever Lucy pulls that football away, Charlie Brown is absolutely gutted by the turn of events.
Mary Worth is forever well behind the curve, this time with catfishing. I was trying to remember if this “elderly man who will surely get angry when told Trixie is a group of scammers” story had already been done in MW or one of the other soap strips, but I remembered it was a subplot in one of the excellent Thursday Murder Club books (let us not speak of the movie). At least we know what Karen has been reading.
H&J: I’d forgotten that Jamaal used to be an NBA star, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea for the strip to remind us. If Jamaal could just walk out of that door and pick up a $20 million sponsorship from a betting app or crypto exchange or protein supplement supplier, it makes you wonder… why the hell does he hang around with Herb? Surely it can’t be that he enjoys his company.
Luann: Look at the way Brad’s eyes have rolled back into his head. “Groupie mom” is his trigger phrase.
Pluggers either drive comically undersized kei trucks (doesn’t track) or have psychotically oversized, overstuffed La-Z-Boy chairs (very much tracks).
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: Estelle went through it.
JP: I’m just a little disturbed by how fast April went from whispering “Oh, my sweet, wonderful, caring idiot” to taking that foot-long serrated blade through its paces on, presumably, one or both of the guys cowering behind the desk. Randy can look away all he wants, but he should never close his eyes around that woman. She seems a little…moody.
JP I’m betting the writer is going for the clichéd fakeout and she’s just cutting off the warden’s hand to be able to gain access to all the advanced locks the artist hasn’t bothered drawing in this prison.
MW: Trixie lives almost 3,000 miles away in Edison, NJ? If that doesn’t put a light bulb over your head, I don’t know what will.
Luann: how come Luann is the only blonde in a family of brunettes? Does Nancy have a secret?
Herb and Jamaal: I get this question all the time, except substitute “project manager” for “professional athlete.” (The pain and crying stop when the spreadsheet is filled out, Buttercup.)
I slipped on some ice this week and sprained my wrist and typing this hurts. Herb? Exercise is for chumps so you should quit while you’re ahead.
Judge Parker: I can’t decide if April is straight up knife-murdering the warden, a guard, herself, Randy, or Bogdan, that smiling idiot. I’m going to go with f., the reader.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (Brock Samson always was better with a hunting knife, and Superjail did superjails better.)
JP: “Well, April, I appreciate the breakout, but I don’t actually want to leave. The people you just killed were my mental health counselor, my job coach, the prison guard who brought me a donut every morning, and the warden I was having a civil conversation with. Norwegian prisons are incredibly lenient and nurturing. Or did you not know that, Little Miss CIA?”
Luann: The assignment was “ask people how they acquired their careers”, not “ask people what they wanted to be when they grew up”. Which means she might actually *fail* this insultingly easy class.
Pluggers will put furniture or appliances in the bed of their truck, but still forget where they were going halfway through the trip.
CS: “Batton Thomas” made his own wife work on his comic strip. In the last panel he gives a much-deserved shoutout to… comic books.
@Tabby Lavalamp: April can take care of that wrist pain for you. It’s a bit of a permanent solution, though. (Feel better!)
Also Judge Parker: I don’t know what I dread more, Randy and April going back to Cavelton to reclaim their daughter Whatsherface from Neddy, or this breakout somehow ends up involving Sofie and her pal, Sassyblackgirlfriend.
H&L: As Trixie plays in her sunbeam, Lois smiles indulgently, regaling Hi with their baby’s latest hijinks. “I gave her your old laptop to play with, and she managed to accidentally email somebody in Santa Royale, California!”
@Liam: Luann- Could you play an instrument? Could you sing? Did you even try to be a rock star?
She tried once. It didn’t go well.
AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!! is also the sound Wilbur makes when he sees Fabiana in the arms of “Cousin” Pedro.
@Professor Well Actually: 1. recessives 2. “summer blonde” lightening 3. popular hair dye colours. OK, I don’t buy the last one, Luann wouldn’t be able to follow a basic 2-step drugstore dye box’s instructions
@20 Schroduck: on Herb and Jamaal: Jamaal hangs around Herb because Herb give great head to what hangs off Jamaal.
@23 Charterstoned: Maybe April needs a Midol? [ducks and runs]
@25 Jay Fawley: I see what you did there.
Luann: “So, uh, you and Mom, er, got it on and banged one or more gongs after a gig, right? And that’s how we got Carl, the older brother we never talk about?”
JP: It’s like Marciuliano wanted to recreate the gulag escape action scene from Black Widow, but forgot to have any interesting action or characters.
H&J: The last panel would be funnier if Jamal said “Never.”
MW: Please, please, please let us find out that “Trixie” is Arther Zero, back again. Mr. Hart insists she just has a husky, Katherine Hepburn-style voice.
Flash! AaaAAA I know it’s a genre convention, but can I just say that’s a really sucky power generator design (grumbles about CANDU versus RBMK reactor moderator methods…)
JP: One might think April stabbed the guy, but in actuality, she had to remove the knife to get to the picture showing how ridiculous that guy looked in his hat. AUUUUUUUGH!!!! indeed!
Luann: Luann is going to turn in something that makes that OU student’s essay look like a rhetorical masterpiece.
Luann: A lot of things that no one who was actually birthed would say show up in the comics, but “groupie mom” is an unexpected addition.
@Baja Gaijin: @23 Charterstoned: Maybe April needs a Midol? [ducks and runs]
I remember one of my colleagues coming into work one morning, looking grim, and sighing about a daughter entering adolescence at the same point his wife was entering menopause.
FC: As the second eldest child, Dolly roflstomps Jeffy for the right to Billy’s piece of cake. Meanwhile, Billy will probably no survive whatever ails him.
Zits: Jeremy describes his very … specific fetish.
MW: I realize I’m getting my Torchwood season 1 plots mixed up, but Billis’s girlfriend is actually a Cyberwoman.
Dustin: That just means you’re using a 20-year-old laptop or one riddled with viruses. Correlation is not causation, as you should well know, Ed.
JP – “If you ever want to sleep again, I suggest you look away right now. Because I know you find this ‘my-wife-is-a-bloodthirsty-spy-assassin’ shit incredibly hot, and that if you watch me actually knife these guys we’re going to be going at it like rabid rabbits non-stop for six months and frankly, I need some shut-eye.”
LUANN: I dunno. That actually looks like the expression of a man who was lying about his “dream career” and was going to say something a lot lamer and dorkier. Like a man trying to save face a bit too defensively after realizing he was being inadvertently mocked and patronized for his lack of creativity.
CS: “It took me a while to teach Cathy not to use crayons, but what can you expect from a woman in a Funkyverse comic.”
9CL: Alistair is literally a new man after that thesaurus-fueled speech from (P)Lolly.
@Baja Gaijin: This smells like an Arth(e)ur Zerro(?) story…
RMMD – HU Live is teasing that Lorna Starr will come out of retirement to play the Riddler.
GT: “Thorp, Pillar and Rimsha have been suspended for ‘decorating’ Goshen High, which is unfair since our team is stuck with these junior varsity losers who totally suck! Yes, I’m aware I’m live on the air.”
Luann: “You can’t major in Rock Star”.
Oh no?
“Jesus, April, why did you do that?”
“It’s like the end of Inglorious Basterds.”
“But why carve a question mark into his head?”
“Because neither you, I, nor he, have any idea who he works for or what’s going on.”
Luann: And a listical of rock stars with college degrees.
JP: Given the “killing a man in cold blood” scene, you’d think the artist might stretch a bit and try for a believable expression on April, but no, it’s the same as Charlotte’s “why aren’t there any horses here” and Sophie’s “sorry, Norwegian blond hunk, but I’m seeing someone else” and Abbey’s — well, you get the point.
Luann: I just had a thought. Could the Evansii have had another script or set of strips rejected and this is a Lynn Johnston-esque update of some sequence they did back in the ‘Potato Head’ era?
JP: Nooo! Not Comic Opera Guard Redshirtski! He was just two days away from retirement! Your Wilhelm Scream will live on, Redshirtski!
@Liam: On Luann: No, no and no. Suddenly Luann’s (lack of) actions in the past 10-15 years of strips click into perfect focus.
@CanuckDownSouth: She literally blasted a huge gaping hole in the wall then teleported directly into the warden’s office. I don’t she needs to open any locks.
@Weaselboy: On RMMD – Or could she have been kidnapped by the Riddler?? Commissioner Gordon will have to bring in the Dynamic Duo on this case! That’s right, Shorty and Beanpole!
Luann: Speaking as someone who was in fact a professional musician who toured with bands, I have to agree with Josh here, even though it’s pretty clear Frank never actually PURSUED that “dream career.” For that matter, have we EVER seen this drip pick up an instrument? I think not.
Frank’s resentment isn’t because of his family (well, not entirely) it’s because he made a bad choice. I understand that completely: during the pandemic, I left Tennessee because there w/o a job I was screwed on health insurance. I became a teacher, a job that… well, it pays the bills.
When I see my friends on tour, however, I feel all sorts of bad and resentful–and I don’t have a kid as stupid as Luann or as ugly as Bwad to remind me of what a failure I am every day (my kid is actually smart and successful).
TBH, I will probably leave teaching sooner rather than later, because I miss the road badly.
@Liam: #5:
“did you even try”
He did but quit after the first setback. That’s where Luann got that trait from.
Judge Parker : The next dude April kills will simply quietly whisper a pithy “..Good grief…”
**********
Luann : … damn it, this is going to be the only strip this week that focusses on Frank, isn’t it? This would have been an EXCELLENT time to clarify what he does for a living besides “business stuff at the office building”, but no, let’s focus on the “Frank hates his family because he believes that he would have been a famous entertainer if they hadn’t forced him to give up on his dreams”
I wish Luann wasn’t so much an idiot, then I could accuse Frank of discouraging her from living HER dreams for the sole reason that he’s bitter he couldn’t make his come true…**************
Ripley’s Don’t Believe It :
a) She did this because her fiancé had KEPT the parachute, and was dragging it everywhere he went, like that one guy in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
b) Famously, this was changed because adaptations felt it was simpler to just have him be able to fly, and the 1940s version of “brand synergy” had the comics follow suit. The same can be said of him actually KNOWING he’s an alien from a distant star and that’s why he has powers.
c) Don’t ask which member of the family has the SLOWEST growth, though.
************
Slylock Fox : …I can’t come up with a good “the girl is an angel” joke, so I’ll just ask : if that’s not the intention, what’s with the ministerial robes?
MW: The Turtleback Zoo is not to far from Edison, NJ. Is this one of those monkeys with typewriters things?
“Hey. Who left a cellphone in the chimp enclosure?”
@brendancalling: Exactly. When has Frank ever shown any interest in music beyond his “I wanted to be a rock star when I grew up” bit? Hell, the Fuze doesn’t even have a karaoke night*. Did he play an instrument? Sing? Write lyrics? Did he have a band with some of his friends? Did they imagine themselves as more disaffected and enigmatic like Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine-style provocateurs, or quirky and upbeat a la Smash Mouth**? An eight year old might say something like “I wanna be a rock musician!” without any deeper thought, but teenagers have usually developed a passion for that kind of thing. The tl;dr is that Luann’s lazy, shallow apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
*To be fair, this may be a preventative measure against Wilbur Weston showing up for a crossover.
** Yes, I know Greg Evans still thinks Frank’s idea of “rock god” would be Jimi Hendrix or the Beatles, but I’m trying to be realistic here.
JP – That’s a bread knife. “Dear God, NO!! If you slice it that thick, the bread will never fit in the toaster!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Ain’t nobody can tie this cowpoke down or tell me what to do”
“I roam just as I please!”
“And now, folks… time for a quick ‘kissy-kissy’!”
“Hold it right there, Eugene! Don’t make a move!”
JP: Ah, good, it’s been far too long since April has been allowed to be senselessly violent in the name of
justiceAmericaher own bloodlust!Luann: If it’s any comfort, Frank, it’s your own lack of talent and not your family that’s holding you back.
JP: “Argh!” Says Randy. “These heads are heavy. Couldn’t you just collect scalps or something?”
@Anonymous: Luann’s “dream” is that one day she can go in the potty like a big girl. She’s a plucky fountain of optimism, so someday she’s sure that she can make her dreams come true.
Luann: Isn’t it canonical that Mrs Luann is quite hot, and is way out of Mr Luann’s league? Sort of like Sally Forth being out of Nebbish Weirdo Forth’s league, or Blondie and Dagwood’s weird marital situation?
C’shaft: Oh hey, he finally decided to give his wife a name! Still waiting on the personality, though.
Lio: At first I was all, “No, no, cubism doesn’t mean literal cubes,” but then I remembered the essence of cubism is breaking the subject down into its component elements which are then reorganized and reconstructed, so…yeah. Well played, Tatuli.
MW: We already did online dating scam a few years back, so I’m guessing AI chatbot this time around. Luckily for Widower Hart, curing the social detachment and desperate need for connection that made him prey to such a situation will be as easy as “Have you considered getting a chinchilla?”
RMMD: “Fortunately, in this age of sensationalism we don’t need to rely on credible information to tell a story. Here with me now is Brett Broman, host of the podcast “Eat the Woke,” to share his theories. Brett, you’ve claimed Lorna is involved in a secret plot to weaken the men of America by putting estrogen into energy drinks…”
Luann: You could say that “rock star” isn’t a reasonable career path, but plenty of bands from Frank’s youth are still successfully performing. Heck, he definitely has the look of a guy who could be in Weezer.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m rooting for Arther Zerro.
GT: Today the role of Coach Ochoa will be played by Troy Polamalu. This episode is brought to you by Head and Shoulders.
Dustin: The next day when Dustdad does show up at the office one of his co-workers says, “You should’ve made the effort to come to work, Ed. The boss was so grateful to the ones that did he sprung for cream-filled fancies in the morning and pizzas for lunch!”
MW/H&L: “Trixie is a lovely young woman, Mary! She loves to sunbathe and look after her family.”
Meanwhile…
“Chip what are you doing in there?”
“Just on the computer Mom [tee hee].
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: but if I’m promised she brings back that badass knife, I’m all for it.
DtM: Wait, is Dennis or Joey playing Ethan Frome, and how do they expect to stage this without Alice?
MW: “We found each other on the dating site Hot Romanian Women Fleeing Andrew Tate!”
FC:
RMMD:
DtM:
Luann – I tell people I became a operations trainer in healthcare because all the princess jobs were taken. Seeing the way princessing is going these days, I feel like I made a marginally better choice. Marginally, because healthcare is only slightly more stable than the royals.
And is Luann comparing to herself to her father when he was a “teen”? I’m sure the Evansii see her as a fresh-faced 17-year-old making her way in this crazy world, but it’s been awhile since I mentioned that I began reading Luann when we were both roughly 12 years old. I’ll be 52 later this year. And while I still hold out hope that eventually I’ll be famous, it’s about as likely as Luann getting laid in my lifetime. Or hers… however long that ends up being.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Oh I see where this is going now! Lorna left Hollywood to become the new Riddler! (Incel “outrage” on social media cause her to recede from society before her grand debut in Gotham.)
JP: This isn’t Kill Bill where a single person can kill countless people and get away with it.
These people who are just doing their jobs.
I’m certain the writer was thinking “April is a badass!” while I’m thinking “When’s her trial going to be set?”
Also, being a C.I.A Agent, she could just use her position to spring him out by talking to a few people and filing some forms. It’s just a regular prison, not a Middle-Eastern P.O.W Camp…
When does the pain and crying stop, Herb? When you die. Only when you die.
@The Rambling Otter: Actually, the comic being JUDGE Parker, I hope that this inevitably does lead to a trial.
I’ve been following this blog since Aldo (but didn’t start commenting until a few years later). I was probably around 16 at the time that storyline was running. Now I’m in my 30s, and the single most upsetting thing is going from thinking “this is old people humor” to relating to Herb and Jamaal. (I realize I’m not actually old, don’t get on my case, it’s relative.) No upper body strength to speak of…
@pugfuggly: Great, now I’m picturing Luann’s dad looking like Mike Shinoda in the MV for “In The End.” How dare.
Judge Parker: Randy and April spice up their love life with a little experimentation, discerning if Randy finds April castrating men with a bowie knife to be sexy. Turns out, he doesn’t. Lesson learned!
Luann: A huge part of Luann’s whole particular and bizarre brand of puritanism is that it constantly tries to do stuff like this where characters who don’t follow that ascetic ideology or didn’t follow it in the past are framed as having been pitiful, with them becoming much more happy and fulfilled when they abandon childish ideas like “enjoying life” or “having a personality” in favor of following rigid white picket fence conformity. And every single time the comic tries to do this, it fails at it catastrophically, instead accidentally portraying the carefree characters as normal, happy people running laps around it’s “heroes” and the converts as having become lifeless, bored husks of their former selves. Much to think about.