More like BogdGGUGH
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Judge Parker, 4/4/26
So I guess I haven’t fully spelled out what’s been going in on Judge Parker over the past few weeks: Bogdan, Randy’s lovable prison pal, showed up at the Parker manse with Randy’s proof of life video, in which Randy said he would return home at some future undetermined time, which was nice of him, but then Bogdan got weirdly aggressive about wanting to see Charlotte, so the Parkers kicked him out, and afterwards I guess he just started lurking around the vast Spencer horse ranch until he caught sight of her, but unfortunately he didn’t do it particularly subtly, which led to Neddy punching him directly in the throat. Now, Bogdan has always seemed nice, so maybe this will turn out to have all been a big misunderstanding, but for now, I’m presenting this strip to you, because when an old man gets punched in the throat in a syndicated newspaper comic, I will talk about it on my blog. That’s the joshreads dot com promise.
Dennis the Menace, 4/4/26
I get that Alice is supposed to be holding a baking pan of some sort, but personally I think the “Ha ha, it’s menacing that Dennis doesn’t know the phrase ‘square meal’ is a metaphor” joke is undermined a bit when we see that his mother is preparing a meal that is in fact literally square, or at least rectangular. Anyway, I’m not sure what prompted Henry to wear a white suit today, but since dinner appears to be some kind of brown glop, I think he’s going to live to regret it.
Blondie, 4/4/26
You keep forgetting that, Herb? You keep forgetting what’s literally the defining characteristic of your supposed best friend? Wow. Wow.
Gil Thorp, 4/4/26
“Is it golf? Wait, no, we just determined that it’s not golf. Well, I guess I’m going to have to keep watching you through these binoculars until I figure it out.”
80 replies to “More like BogdGGUGH”
JP:
“The kids were a lot nicer to me in…GGUGH!…’Miracle on 34th Street’ than you two are being right now!”
DtM:
“Dad’s wearing that white coat because he says you’re going to butcher our meal!”
Gil Thorp:
Boy, Carrot Top could sure use a makeover, couldn’t he?
@Activist
About yesterday’s discussion.
Yes, it would be just as funny if Black Spy won against White Spy, because neither is the designated hero or villain, and either can succeed over the other depending on the writers’ moods. Or heck sometimes they both lose, especially if Gray Spy is involved.
Also Black Spy is only dressed in black, he isn’t African American.
JP:
“Quick, Bogdan…before I render you senseless with this blow to your Adam’s apple — what was the last name of the Frank Fontaine character, first name ‘Crazy,’ who portrayed a lovable dipsomaniac with a golden voice on The Jackie Gleason Show?”
“GGUGHenheim!”
MW-Mention earlier some organizations that could help but don’t use them.
FC-Grandma brought Chick Tracts.
Phantom:
“Colonel and Patrolwoman, you know how it drives you crazy when you’re trying to think of something and it’s on the tip of your tongue, but you just can’t quite summon it? — I’m trying to remember the animal after which the constellation Ursa Major was named…bear with me!”
DtM: Henry himself called Alice from work to tell her not to get pizza since he’d be wearing his ‘Stayin’ Alive’ suit jacket home whilst forgetting what kind of ungodly concoction she’d come up with. It’s the innocent child who’s the real victim here.
@Bob Tice: So does his Nephew “Broccoli Top” from Blondie the other day.
GT: Wait…
Darby and (o’) Gil?
When do the leprechauns show up?
GT: In panel three, it looks like he’s about to rip off his flesh mask to reveal…a face that can’t possibly be any more repellent than the one he currently has.
RMMD: Rex has his plastic hair helmet, June has the plastic cowlick/spitcurl/whatever, Mudgus has his plastic beard.
JP: Yesterday Neddy had the surprisingly intelligent plan to have the raspberry-haired brat bolt at the end of a quietly stated countdown before the man in the shadows (who yesterday was still quite a distance away) could get near. Today, Neddy’s screaming like a banshee who could be heard in the next county, completely losing the element of surprise. No matter though, because she’s apparently either a teleporter or can stretch her arms like Mr. Fantastic to suddenly have closed the distance between her and the totally-NOT-a-twist-villain.
@Pozzo: Or revealing a handsome face.
In which he is then banished to “Ugly Island”
JP – Alas, poor Bogdan. If he had just shaved the mustache, he could have been an academic with a dumb trophy wife and a couple of parrots.
Oh, and did April give a throat punching seminar at some point? Because this is a new skill for Neddy. Normally, her best defense is whining until her enemies saunter away in glum frustration.
GT: I spent a moment staring at that first panel and thinking “Darby? Who is ‘Darby’ in the context of Gil Thorp?” before landing on “Oh, yeah, the teen mom from 2012 or so who was the longstanding crush of the pitcher who lost Milford the playdowns.” Looking at this strip, I guess Darby is just some background character who happened to be named Darby, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if this was the return of a former teen mom, whose child is now himself a teen, now allied with the evil Coach Gerads and poised for zany hijinx? It’d be a LOT more interesting than using binoculars to surreptitiously watch Gil play golf.
If Dagwood would stop obsessing over food for one minute, he’d realize that Herb is developing his namesake’s tendency for uncontrollable nonspecificity.
Christ, Josh, please stop showing Gil Thorp. I read this blog first thing in the morning and I don’t really need to have the heebie jeebies for the rest of the day.
JP: RIP Santa Claus, 270 – 2026.
DTM: Detroit-style square pizza is the hot new trend right now, Dennis. Get with the program!
Say what you will about Coach Gerads with those binoculars but he is no Helen Moss…
DtM: Given that white jacket, I was wondering “Why is Henry cosplaying a GP while he sits in the living room reading some serious European novel?” (Looks like a Sellerio Editore from here–possibly an Andrea Camilleri? I think that would be the most mainstream Sellerio you could get in America.)
Originally Dagwood just enjoyed Sandwiches (and only sandwiches) until it flanderized into an unholy love of all foods…
I can’t wait for the end of the comic, where Dagwood is a huge immobile blob with Blondie continuing to gorge him with more and more food (actually I can wait…)
DtM: It looks like Alice is cooking brownies for dinner, so actually the joke is on Dennis!
GIL THORP: “Whatever’s Gil’s up to, I’m reporting him to school management!”
Blondie:
You might think that Dagwood’s response is simply an expression of his food-based monomania, but I think there’s more to it. It’s also an ingenious way to nip this line of conversation in the bud before Herb starts going on about prop bets or parlays or whatever.
@The Rambling Otter: I didn’t realize how kink-ish this sounded until after I posted :O
It wasn’t my intention really
(Saying before Sex-Negative Nellie pops in)
GT: Panel 1: I thought it was a spiteful Mimi. Panel 2: I thought, “Mimi needs to go to the ER!” Panel 3: I went and got myself some more coffee.
GT: Why does every character in this strip appear to be devolving? If this was a Sunday strip, the last panel would be “Ungh.”
Luann: Screw you, Gunther. Tara is trying to tell you you’re wrong, and you’re refusing to listen.
CS: No one under 75 uses “Meta” anymore, but “Meta” is still a vile cesspool. So this tracks.
Pluggers’ life savings are still small change. The real difference is that cars don’t have ashtrays anymore.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I thought similar, just replace “Devolving” with “Melting”
@The Rambling Otter:
That kid looked as if he had gotten his haircut from the Departmentb of Public Health.
MW: I see Mary is going the obvious route of calling in Mr. Hart’s daughter to help, but I suspect somehow Mr. Hart’s escape from the evils of online dating is going to dovetail with John Long’s escape from captivity, thanks to the fortuitous intervention of a psychic child and/or a heroic dog (or cat or parrot), who will lead the authorities to uncover the pig-butchering scam site in SantaRoyMart.
That’s fantastic news! I’ve been really enjoying Josh’s blog and would definitely be interested in reading his novel.
JP:
“GGUGH!”
“This is no time for you to be uttering a nonsense syllable from ‘I Am the Walrus,’ you sociopathic hirsute ne’er-do-well!!”
MW (after an email is spam-filtered and the internet-searched phone number is found…) “Hello? Who… my dad – is he in hospital?? Oh, neighbour, but… wait… Uh huh. Yeah. Well. Oh no, I’m not seeing him again until he promises not to badger me about what ‘girls my age’ want ‘in the apps’ and asks for dating profile tips and if his profile photo would attract my friends. And you can tell him losing big bucks to a scam serves him right for acting like a dirty old man! *click*”
GT Milford – where all sports including golf are full-contact which explains how everyone has broken, bashed-up noses
JP: There are so many punchable old men in the comics, why did it have to be poor Bogdan?
JP:
“You know, Neddy, we could have hastened our escape from the predicament here by jumping on horses like ‘Bailey’ and galloping off, but apparently they’ve all been rented outt to the lumpenproletariat!”
@Banana Jr. 6000:
On Crankshaft : the “comment slamming [the doghouse]” is meant to be something like “Wait, you guys make your dog sleep OUTSIDE, even when it gets really cold out!?” or “Why are you devoting so much time talking about renovating a doghouse for a dog we’ve never, ever seen
on panel, so as far as we know, doesn’t even exist!?” That’s the kind of negative comments Batiuk is decrying.(Also, weird, I could have sworn every other mention of social media used a fake name, but here Meta is referred to by its real name)
****************
On Luann : If Gunther so desperately wants to “win” this argument, he should be bringing up that Les has made fun of his and Bets relationship for this exact kind of thing (“Whh-ksshhh!”), or that Les spent several sunday comics going “I’m never getting a girlfriend because I don’t want another person to cramp my style, or worse, tell me what to do”.
JP: Bogdan reports back to Randy:
“Charlotte was with some psychotic twenty-something who attacked me without warning!”
“Oh, yeah. That would be Neddy.”
Dennis the Menace: Alice, dear, the Late Thread Cuisine posts are for fun, not inspirations for home meals. Unless…you’re purposely trying to gross out your rude, ungrateful son. Never mind.
Dick Tracy: Guts are needed for cutting edge crime? You’re talking to the wrong dudes, Card Boy. You need pluggers; they have guts for miles.
Family Circus: Oh. Thank. God. Holier than Though Gramma’s paper grocery bag doesn’t have stalks of celery protruding. I don’t want to see those granny-pannies. Also, how did she get a Holden Commodore in the US?
Pluggers: Maybe I’m missing something on this holiday weekend. Plugger savings accounts are their trucks’ ashtrays. Now they don’t remember this fact? Is this a dementia joke? It’s definitely a “pluggers are poverty-stricken” strip.
Rex Morgan: The hand in the final panel along with Mud’s face are strangely off model. Did I miss a “substitute artist” announcement?
Slylock Fox: That cow is higher than the time she jumped over the moon.
I don’t follow Gil Thorp, so I don’t know who’s who, but that face in the final panel final panel is going to haunt my nightmares.
and not in a good way.
Henry just got done coaching Louisville in a big game, show some respect!
@2+2=7: How can he report him to School Management when in this town for all intents and purposes he IS School Management?
Mary Worth Mashups: Who is waiting for Mary in Goleta? Four possibilities, which would you like Mary to meet?
FC: Adult Jeff looks back fondly on a time when his mom wore bellbottoms, his grandma drove a Chrysler Newport, and his siblings were still very punchable.
Judge Parker: Tune in next week for another episode of “Karate Santa Claus,” everyone!
Blondie-Given how much Dagwood eats, how has he not gone full Mr. Creosote by now?
Also, since all that food has to go somewhere, I’m guessing the Bumsteads have a plumber on speed dial.
JP- before I realized which strip this was, I thought it was Mary Worth, and someone was punching Ian in the throat.
Gil Thorp: Do the characters look like that on purpose? I mean, these are antagonists, so I guess it’s okay for them to be ugly, but ease up on the individually rendered teeth, wouldya fella?
@The Rambling Otter: That went by the wayside the day his failed sandwich shops screwed over all rhe franchisees.
Luann – Gunther is a crunt.
Blondie: This feels like a spare SuperBowl comic. They just changed it from football to sports generically and ran it.
@Baja Gaijin: No falling air conditioner?
What happens if Mary Worth and Charlotte Parker met? Imagine no more.
Yo, username link spam in comment 31 “Comicfan1988”
GT: I’m no golfer, but I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of golfing etiquette to plot out loud during someone else’s shot.
@Baja Gaijin: Alice doesn’t have a “deliberately trying to gross out my son” smile. She has a “finally poisoning my son” smile.
JP:
“Run! Get out of this strip as fast as you can!”
@The Rambling Otter: Just learned that the creator of Spy Vs. Spy was a Cuban political cartoonist who was first honored by Castro for his anti-Batista cartoons and then had to go into exile when his cartoons annoyed Castro. And that Spy vs. Spy was intended as a satire on the great power struggle of the Cold War, which makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.
@21 The Rambling Otter: Dagwood’s “picture of Dorian Gray” is a plugger.
@52 Ken: They’re regrouping for their next sortie.
@56 matt w: That works.
@The Rambling Otter:
Lol, is *that* what that post was about? I kept trying to figure out what difference it would make which spy does what. Black spy is actually black and magazines are raycisss lol; I had not thought of that. “Activist” might want to do even a slight amount of research so he doesn’t come off as a caricature
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a cup of “African American coffee” lol. See, it’s black; cream and sugar are for the Klan ? lol.
GT: “Since my cheap insurance no longer includes Vision Care, I have to use binoculars to spy on a golfer five feet away! But he’ll never spot me, because HE can’t afford glasses either! Fiendishly clever!
Blondie – “Seriously, Dag, do you think anyone else does this while watching the international Candy Land tournament?”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Don Abundio is trying to harass you from a balloon?”
“Yeah. But it’s way too small to provide enough lift…”
“The little creep has no respect for the laws of physics!”
@The Rambling Otter: Indeed. Those are the cheapie binoculars from some army surplus store somewhere, not those Nikons from REI.
MW: @Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! I guess that performance clause addendum I wrote for you did the trick. Nice to see Muffin again, after such a lengthy absence from the strip. The Ladies weren’t too pleased about having to sign it, but I told them they would otherwise be liable for significant penalties if they failed to include Muffin in a percentage of the condo scenes, since Muffin is an indoor-only cat and any absence in such a small condo would be noticeable. I hope this makes up for the earlier misunderstanding on the ink orders.
On another note, I understood from The Ladies that the Easter holiday might produce an egg or so in the Cameron household. Not completely confident that the parrots are reproducing, but since Toby is “of a certain age” it seems more likely than not. Unless The Ladies were referring to a menu item. Just a heads up, pal.
@The Rambling Otter: I wonder if Dagwood isn’t the prototype for Orion Lake in Naomi Novik’s Scholomance series.
El: What happened to all the mals?!?!
Orion: I ate them.
Judge Parker, 4/4/26: “…what’s been going IN ON Judge Parker…” Still refuse to PR00FR€€D eh kid?
PR00FR€€D vs PR00FR€@D, get it kid?
JP: There’s a missing middle panel where Neddy leaps high in the air yelling “FALCON PUNCH!”
GT: Ever watch the very good British series “Detectorists?” Remember the bad guys “Simon and Garfunkel?” If so, imagine them as hideously as possible and you have today’s Gil Thorp.
MW: Mary contacting Harv’s estranged daughter in Goleta is a pretty arrogant move, even for her. Not sure who will be most grateful: Lonely Harv, for having someone care enough about his situation to go behind his back; Sharon, for learning even more unpleasant things about her dad to add to all the reasons why she became estranged from him in the first place (as if the ascots weren’t enough); or Jeff, when Mary is able to embellish her usually boring recaps over dinner at the Bum Boat with more titillating personal details about people Jeff has never met, than he is used to getting after Mary has “resolved” issues with the usual suspects among her friends and tenants.
GT: Somehow everyone in Gil Thorp, regardless of their actual ethnicity, manages to look like an offensive racial caricature.
JP: I don’t care what Bogdan’s motivations are, if you lurk ominously in the bushes spying on a five-to-eight year old girl and her twenty-something female guardian, getting punched in the throat is probably the nicest way someone will respond to that.
Bogdan. “Bog”, the opposite of “tundra” as in “arctic tundra”. “Dan”, short for “Daniel” and the Book of Daniel is in the Bible, a tome that contains many saints. Arctic tundra saint? Bogdan is St. Nicholas, aka Santa Claus! All he wants to do is look in on Charlotte to see if she’s being naughty or nice, and for that he gets punched in the throat! Come on, it’s not like the whole Santa story is creepy or anything. Just for that, now he’s not going to come into their house while they’re all asleep.
***
The only explanation for Henry’s coat is that he’s practising unlicensed home dentistry. It turns out he has been the real menace all this time.
***
I’m sorry, Herb, but “My bet is on the underdog” isn’t vague enough. Have you considered “My bet is on the team that gets the most points”?
***
I didn’t know Gil is bad at golf. Once I click “POST COMMENT” I won’t know it again. I refuse to let Grill Throat take up any precious space in my memory.
@ComicFan1988: Greetings fellow Humans!
And Henry went to all the trouble of picking up a menu from Blank White Square Pizza Kitchen. He was getting really excited for one of their famous Indeterminate Black Splotch Combos, too.
Dustin: You spend every waking hour on your phone and insulting your brother, Meg. I don’t think you should be throwing stones.
HotC: Have we found the actual Spiders Georg?
Luann: Maybe, and hear me out here, Les should be able to express an interest in the things Tara does without pretending to be an expert at them, be willing to try them out with her, and if it’s not his thing find other ways they can do things together while at the same time giving her space to pursue her own individual passions. And Gunther shouldn’t be a self-righteous nag about everything.
MW: Some people have a yes-man; Mary has a yes-cat.
Pluggers have always been dirt-poor.
That look on Alice’s face when she sees Henry’s white jacket? They’re planning an adult version of playing doctor.
DtM: Your dad is dressed as a doctor and is holding a book written in what appears to be Klingon. Dinner is the least of your worries, Dennis.
Its Saturday Night Family Fantasy Island Cosplay Night at the Mitchell’s. “Da menace,Boss,Da menace!”
@76 TheDiva: on Luann: Is this your first day on the planet? Have you never read Luann before? What’s this talk of “treating women like individual people” and “men don’t have to be pathetic playas all the time”?