Comics of a certain age
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Dick Tracy, 5/3/26
There’s no such thing as the “J. Duveen Art Gallery” (though Joseph Duveen was a famous early 20th century art dealer), but the fictional building so named in this strip appears to be a Frank Gehry design. I’d like to believe that in the Dick Tracy universe, Gehry worked extensively in Neo-Chicago, taking inspiration from the dramatic and abstract skull shapes of the various members of Tracy’s rogues gallery.
Mary Worth, 5/3/26
Not a lot of new stuff in this Sunday recap of the recap, but I do like how languorous Mary and Toby look in that hot tub. Mary is so relaxed she can’t even bring herself to lift her hands out of the water to make air quotes around “relationship” and “girlfriend”! Anyway, I admit this plot has been fun but I’m hoping that the Sunday quote from martial arts master Jet Li presages an upcoming storyline that’s a bit more dynamic.
Crankshaft, 5/3/26
Crankshaft did a strip about hot flashes, and it didn’t make a pun or wordplay of any kind about them, and you can tell from Ed’s picture here that he’s absolutely furious about it. “If I had been there, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he’s thinking. “I would’ve malaproped ‘menopause’ so intensely that people would be talking about it for years.”
59 replies to “Comics of a certain age”
Mary Worth:
“Wow! Look at the cool tsunami, Grandpa!”
Slylock Fox-The projectionist spliced in a frame from another movie.
MW-Here’s the problem. Harve never stopped believing that Trixie was real. Harve was never convinced that Trixie wasn’t real.
Mary Worth:
“Mary, some modern theologians posit that if there is indeed a h*ll, it will be personal to each of us who experiences it. Being in a hot tub with you in perpetuity would be right up there for me in the ‘eternal damnation’ sweepstakes!”
Crankshaft:
“Now, when Pluggers depicts guys in flannel shirts with their trademark compromised digits, would that be ‘men o’ paws’?,” muses Ed.
Mary Worth: Did Mary and Toby really need to travel all that way just to lie in a hot tub? Even if Charterstone doesn’t have one (doubtful — the aged residents need some way to ease their aching limbs), I bet you could find a dozen gyms and spas within a square-mile radius. I guess maybe they wanted to be somewhere their fellow condo denizens wouldn’t overhear them poring over the most embarrassing details of their friends’ private lives — or, more important, somewhere there wasn’t even a tiny chance that they might be joined by a Speedo-clad Wilbur.
Mary Worth:
A distracted Dr. Jeff runs over and flattens the Hart clan with his Brobdingnagian dreadnought.
The End.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – The Ned Flanders wannabe should go straight to the tabloids and get whatever he can for it. If he tries to blackmail Mae Mae, she my just come out and tell the world where and who she is and ruin his gravy train. This is all based on the absurd storyline that anyone cares about Lorna Starr.
Crankshaft: Of course I’m no expert, but I was unaware that hot flashes include onomatopoeia.
Crankshaft : …are Pam’s gonads GLOWING while making loud noises!? If not, what is supposed to be going on? If YES, then WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
************
Mary Worth :
I’m hoping that the Sunday quote from martial arts master Jet Li presages an upcoming storyline that’s a bit more dynamic.
Look, the most martial arts we’re going to get is stuff like Wilbur karate-chopping the air and spilling a drink all over someone.
…Or maybe someone attending a Tai Chi class.
Wrecks Moregone:
What part of working for El Pompadour in a cafe with no customers in a dead end town where your only friend is a has been like Mud, whose songs nobody even mentions any longer, is a “normal life”?
DT: Thrill as you watch a package delivery man plan out his afternoon…
MW: I starting to wonder if Charterstone is actually some kind of special living assisted community for dementia patients that need to be reminded constantly of what happened the previous day.
CSh: I’m not sure that “WHUMP!” would be the noise I would have attributed to a hot flash. Unless maybe they were thinking of it as a kind of bioluminescent flatulence? I’m not really sure how menopause works.
Hardy Har Hart has turned his entire family [bar his son in law who is yet to appear in this strip and hopefully has run for the hills/barricaded himself in the pig butchering scam centre that’s his side business] into basket cases just like him.
MW: In a special crossover with Slylock Fox, can the readers spot the 6 differences between the grandsons?
MW: Sharon’s husband still not in the picture (literally). Maybe he’s not entirely happy with the new living arrangements, and is finding an endless list of minor home repairs that prevent him from going on these little family outings.
Speaking of which, I’m not sure where they’re supposed to be, but if that’s meant to be the railing of Harv’s boat it’s the size of an ocean liner. Eat your overcompensating heart out, Dr. Jeff.
MW — If I were H@rvey I wouldn’t be standing so close to the rail between two kids who really need tuition money,
MW Well, that explains why HH can shrug off losing 200 grand, he got *quite* the payout for setting up his daughter unwittingly to have her children as part of a human cloning trial!
DT — Just a few more minor details to iron out, but I’m 90% there on my self-guided tour of Neo-Chicago. I knew I didn’t need a travel agent to help me!
MW: OK, fine, I give in. It was never about robbery, scamming and human trafficking. It’s about family. Robbed, scammed, trafficked family.
H&L: Is “five-tool player” a real thing? What about crotch-grabbing? You can’t leave out crotch-grabbing.
C’shaft: In the penultimate panel, I honestly thought that Pam had farted.
@Liam: Here’s the problem. Harve never stopped believing that Trixie was real.
I’d bet that if Trixie — that is, whoever’s replaced John in the call center — texted him tomorrow with a “tearful” explanation, he’d be right back to sending money. Which would be a great follow-up, but we’re not going to see a storyline that makes Mary look bad.
“*Loneliness* makes a person do some *wacky* things!” says Toby, in a hot tub, in public, with an expression of ecstasy on her face.
As Josh pointed out yesterday, in Mary Worth-verse “loneliness” seems to be the euphemism for “horniness” …
I must say that I didn’t expect Mary Worth to be the first mainstream comic to go full porno.
DT: What kind of monster uses diamonds for checkboxes?
@MKay:
“Five-tool player” is in indeed baseball scouting cliché (hitting, power, speed, glove, arm).
I see a lot of “oops! bit off more than I can chew!” in the comics today:
MW Moy wanted to do a scam storyline, wanted to show the enslaved workers and either realized any followup of the scam center escape was beyond her plotting capabilities… or was convinced by the connection to Asia to drop it before it became a mess of stereotypes at best
RMMD wasn’t able to keep up with the art demands of the weekdays but did intend for Lonnie to have *some* cover for his video-taking
JP hasn’t yet realized that this retcon needs re-retconning because the whole weeks of stalking makes no darn sense, but I expect that will never be acknowledged – the real mystery in this plotline is whether the writer actually thinks it makes sense or knows it’s ridiculous and just doesn’t care as long as he gets to do action and tying-up sequences
Phantom is … on the cusp. Is it really better for White Dude to take on a legendary part of a tribe’s culture if the tribe basically enlists him reluctantly to do so? Bets are on for how offensive the Nth attempt to bring the Phantom backstory in line with modern sensibilities will be!
@matt w: One whose name in the Neo-Chicago Tracyverse doomed him to be forever entangled with playing cards and their suits?
H@rvey’s daughter will explain him that sex is expensive and dangerous, but there are other ways to reproduce. That’s why her sons are clearly clones
You know this shadowy figures is deeply disturbed because he prepares a to-do list with rhombus instead of squares
@Gil Bates:
Well, let’s see:
1. Hans is sporting a blue tee shirt; Franz is wearing a red one.
2. Hans (the “Goofus” of this “Goofus and Gallant” pair) recklessly uses only one hand on the guardrail to balance himself; cautious Franz uses both hands.
3. Hans has a close-mouthed grin; Franz flashes his teeth when he smiles, in the style of his simian evolutionary ancestors.
4. Hans thinks his mom is totally dorky for sporting Star Trek haberdashery and stays as far away from her as possible; Franz kisses up to her.
5. Local coastal vultures have Franz in their sights and initiate the process of beginning to circle around him; they stay clear of Hans.
6. Hans believes that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny; Franz isn’t buying any of it. (You can just tell.)
@CanuckDownSouth:
I agree, Trixie was meant to play a much larger part in this story – otherwise the revelation of his real name and his cinemaesque jump over the wall make no sense.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
In fact by now Mae Mae should be aware that Hollywood Whatsit is *still* inexplicably asking where she is, so she’ll be recognised sooner or later. All she has to do is issue a statement saying where she is, what she’s doing, and the bubble is punctured. But that would be too much like common sense.
FG I am absolutely on board for what was looking like Ming started out having understandable reasons for opposing the Old Order before he went down the road to despotism, I am likely going to be fine with Ming had any ambitions / despotic tendencies amplified by the allure of powerful artifacts/ beings getting him to think He Is THE Solution, but if this is going all the way to a Ming is literally possessed by a Power and never was _bad_ himself story, this strip will go into the “grumpy curmudgeonly read” pile
CS: Hint to Batiuk. Instead of whump, a miniature geyser blowing steam from her groin would be clearer in concept.
@Ukranazi Stepan: *Wayyy* too much common sense. Heck, it’s not some terrible revelation like Letterman going public about an affair to thwart a blackmailer – it might even revive tourist interest in the town and café beyond the roots country set. Come have your coffee served by a former film star!
MW: If you’re going to use a quote about family, you should quote an actor from the Fast and Furious franchise, not a fucking Expendable.
DT: That art gallery looks like a giant banana peel covering it.
Was it made by Gorillas? Dick Tracy does have Gorilla people doesn’t it? I mean… Art Dekko looked kind of chimp-ish at least.
MW: The staff at the spa turn the hot tub setting to ‘tempest’ to hasten Mary’s departure but to no avail. They’ll need permission from corporate before going full ‘cauldron.’
If Ditto has five tools to grab, I’m really impressed.
(Ehhhh… I’m getting self conscious about spoilers, so I’m editing out this message)
@Ukranazi Stepan: @Ken: Y’all still don’t get it? Fine I’ll “spoil” the ending.
You see, in a Twighlight Zone twist, it’ll turn out that Sharon’s “husband” is actually a pig-butchering scam himself! The arc will actually end with a panel of Sharon asking ol’ dad if she can borrow $500,000 for “the Hub’s” “operation.”
Bizarro: I love it! “Ow!” “Ow!” “Ow!”
The Lockhorns: I love it! “Porch Pirates of the Caribbean”!
JP- and STILL neither of these nitwits ask the first and most obvious question: “Where are Randy & April?” And the second question: “How are you able to come here but not Randy or April?”
Luann: a few weeks ago, we learned Frank DeGroot’s college dream was to be a “rock star” (LOL), but today we learn he can’t even play a recognizable “Amazing Grace.” I think I’m beginning to understand why Luann is the way she is.
Mary Worth Mashup: What pablum. How about we spice today’s strip with some special guest stars? ALERT: No Wilburs are involved with the linked mashup.
@The Rambling Otter: SHSHHHSH!!! Don’t give Costello any ideas about bringing The Flash and Gorilla Grodd into this!!
JP: ‘Hello Neddy, if you are hearing this, then you probably have Bogdan tied up and helpless in Ann’s storage unit. Excellent. We are tying up loose ends so we can reclaim our precious little raspberry-haired brat. By this time April has already picked her up from Sam n’ Abbey’s place (don’t worry, they didn’t suffer… much) and as we speak Wurst is delivering a little ‘surprise’ to dear ol’ Dad and Mom (the stinking rummies…) If you are still listening to this, you are even dumber than we thought. This phone will now self-destruct in 3… 2… 1…’
RMMD: I promised not to refer to this character as a certain derogatory term, but knowing she’s taking a job from someone who could really use the money, when she could have just sold her palatial estate for a fortune, socked the proceeds in a savings account (or given it to charity!), bought some nice little house somewhere in a quiet neighborhood and, I don’t know, painted horsey pictures for the rest of her days, is *really* testing my resolve…
MW – So Grandpa is losing it and is pissing away your inheritance to online scammers in quarter-million dollar chunks. What to do? Sounds like a good time to take a cruise! Cruise lines operate in international waters, are notoriously indifferent to law enforcement and only count noses coming aboard, not going off. What’s not to like?
C’shaft: After years of doing jokes about the pains of aging, Tom Batiuk has finally discovered that menopause is a thing. It’s going about as well as you’d expect.
MW: The final panel of Widower Hart and his family gives me hope that this storyline is over. I know we have at least another week or so of recap to go, but please…for today, let me dream.
Mary Worth:
“Look, boys! — a comely mermaid, beckoning to me! Say, you youngsters are all tech-savvy, so: how do you wire-transfer a mermaid $200,000?”
@32 Hibbleton: I expect you’ll be getting a Scratchy on Friday.
@42 brendancalling: Idiot begetting idiot. Sounds about right.
MW: Toby’s selection of the Giraffe Treatment is really paying off. Look at that neck!
Gasoline Alley: “Pullin’ my funny bone”? Unless you’ve got Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Rufus, your funny bone is in no danger of going anywhere.
@TheDiva:
I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I’d have to think about how old the Crankshaft character Pam is supposed to be.
Dustin: If Dustdad put as much effort into being a lawyer as he did spiting his wife’s pleas to not gavage himself into an early grave, he’d be state attorney general by now.
JP: Muppets Most Wanted had more believable spy shenanigans.
Luann: I haven’t picked up my flute in years, but I’m pretty sure I could still play a recognizable melody on it. Frank’s problem isn’t that he gave up on his dreams of rock divinity; it’s that he was never any good at music to begin with.
Phantom: The Ghost Who Absolutely Cannot Read the Room
Pluggers are perpetually depressed.
RMMD: The woman has enough money to retire in her thirties, maybe teaching acting classes or writing her memoirs or doing something else to keep busy, yet she opts for being a waitress at a motel restaurant in the most boring town in America. It’s true what they say, money can’t buy class–or intelligence.
@TimP: I absolutely would have pegged her as post-menopausal, especially given how much Jeff is obsessed with Silver Age comics and other things that aren’t culturally relevant to anyone under sixty. But then Batiuk works in that comic strip liminal space where middle-aged people today think and act exactly like middle-aged people forty years ago, so she could very well be at that stage of life.
MW: I’d like to think that Mary is making the “air quotes” gesture throughout her speech, but she’s too lazy/relaxed to bring her hands out of water. That, or she says “QUOTE/UNQUOTE” everytime. (Would you read that last sentence aloud as QUOTE QUOTE UNQUOTE UNQUOTE?)
MW: Disappointed with her recent performance (all it took was a phone call to take care of Hart’s family problems), Mary takes a short spa stay to plot a new adventure.
Steeping in the roiling heat of virgin fluids after making a call to a friend in the Administration, Mary consoles herself with the knowledge that the Hart family was gullible enough to think they’re going to Catalina Island when they’re really on a Homeland Security charter to a detention facility in Honduras.
Now, “Hub” has some incentive to increase production at the phone center.
MW – Somebody at Spa had better turn up the temperature another hundred degrees or so. Otherwise those two are never going to be done in time for dinner.
Dick Tracy: Hiring Mickey Rooney to pose for Lieutenant/Paramedic Jessica Wyman’s portrait was just mean, and I don’t think it did justice to her memory.
Mary Worth:
“I believe the world is one big family…” Jet Li
“Give peace a chance.” Jackie Chan
“I will kill them all with my face.” Gandhi
Crankshaft: I can’t believe there’s no commentary on panel 5’s incendiary fart joke! You can’t leave the flatulence humor to someone like me, you just can’t!
DT – Just a few minor details to iron out, such as why are we wasting a whole Sunday strip looking at buildings when the only actual content was in the throwaway panel?
Don Abundio, translated:
“What a beautiful spot for a picnic!”
“But they say there are evil spirits here”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of”
“As long as you don’t break the circle!”
Dustin: “Anyway, back to what I was saying how you and your generation lacks discipline…”