Domestic dramas
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Family Circus, 9/30/26
God damn but Gary looks smug here. “That’s right, Mrs. K.! My parents love me, but they don’t love each other … and they’re engaged in a constant but unspoken game of mutual oneupmanship for my affections. The two rooms are just the beginning! I’m really sitting in the catbird seat here! Uh, by which I mean, I see Billy has a lovely home. Just the one, obviously.”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/30/26
“We were just taking in the fall colors! Like, uh, green! Green is a color, and it’s fall, so I guess it’s a fall color? I guess it’s fall? What month is it? What year is it? Where am I? Why am I here? Oh, it’s Mud Mountain Murphy! Are you gonna play ‘Muddy Boots?’ I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that you play ‘Muddy Boots.’”
28 replies to “Domestic dramas”
If we needed more evidence the last time one of the Keanes interacted with the outside world was in the ’80s.
RMMD “We were taking in the fall colours – _literally_ taking them in! We’ve absorbed them all, draining them between Sunday and now, and only _we_ can enjoy them! Bwa ha haa! Have fun in the dull boring green world while _we’re_ looking inwards at gold and ruby-tinged nature!”
“He’s also got two different copies of The Watchtower to give us, Mommy, if you’ve just got a moment to listen to him!”
Newspaper comics are really another class. If you saw a video on YouTube, Instagram or TikTok where someone completely unprompted starts to spout stilted language to shill a random restaurant, you would rightly assume they are an influencer doing it for a fee. But no one would pay newspaper comics to act as influencers, because nobody reads them! They are doing the clumsy approval for the love of the game!
“Oppps, I need to go back! My father, Hank Sr slipped in the bathtub and splashed blood all over the bathroom. I guess that’s another kind of ‘fall colour'”
RMMD:
“…and as you can see, all of the trees around us are a monochromatic yellow-green, so that makes for perfect fall viewing!”
“Speaking of two rooms, why do we only worship one God? If YHWH had some competition, He would not be so stingy with his gifts! Should we check whether Satan wants to join in?”
FC “Also his family gives him something called colloidal silver twice a day! He’s going to be Thanos for Halloween!”
RMMD Another exciting edition of Small Talk: The Daily Comic
FC: “He also says he has a new daddy who kinda sucks which ain’t so lucky, I guess.”
RMMD:
“What brings you to the park?”
“Oh, you know. We figured we’d smoke some weed; roll some dice; maybe do a little skateboarding….”
“Billy, I wanted to tell you that you too have a room in Your Father’s house, but I don’t want to give you false hopes about being saved”
FC:
“Gary wants to know if we can watch Kramer v. Kramer on Netflix!”
They came to the park for the elephant rides, VR exhibition, and reunited Guns ‘N Roses concert, but like most of us, were disappointed to discover none of those things were actually taking place. Benches and green foliage are pretty rad, though!
“Mom, Gary has one room in his father’s house and one room in his mother’s house! Why can’t I?”
“Because I don’t know whether the milkman has any spare room”
Family Circus : this probably shocked a lot of readers when this first ran in the 1990s or so!
…Or wait, is Jeffy picking strips that were rejected when first proposed, that aren’t that provocative or controversial anymore?
**************
Luann :
a) Luann, Tara moving in with Phil was YOUR idea
*, Phil was reticent from moving AT ALL until you talked (browbeat) him into accepting this.*Okay, it was Tara’s idea, but Luann was IMMEDIATELY okay with it, and the one who pushed it on Phil the hardestb) It sure is weird that Luann’s confidante she can have this “Phil is such a catch” exchange with is a nonagenarian woman who lives in a retirement home! It’s too bad she doesn’t have a friend her age, who lives in the same house as her, with whom she could have this conversation!
(Bernice would just insult and mock her the whole way through)**************
Safe Havens : …but you terraformed Mars. It has a breathable atmosphere, and a fully-developped ecosystem with flora and fauna now.
RMMD: Deleted scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers where newly converted pod people practice human-like speech.
FC-Gary has two mommies who are into crafting.
RMMD-What brings you to the park?” “Rounding up the homeless.”
FC: They couldn’t actually be talking about…DIVORCE?? The 1910s called, they want their comic back.
RMMD: I don’t claim to be a full-time raconteuse, but dang, this dialogue is mind-numbing!
MW: The birds behind Toby’s back: “Have you heard? Pompous Ass is fiddling feathers with Meddling Biddy!”
GT: I dunno, sure looks like VT’s QB just went down without a fight, but I guess if your school can’t be bothered to turn on the lights for a night game or even mow the turf, why should your O-line be bothered to put their lives and limbs on the line blocking Borys?
Heathcliff: When did this strip start using a traditional crescent moon shape rather than its signature crescent-wrench moon?
MW: What’s crazy is being so lonely that you hallucinate having a bilingual conversation with your parents because while everyone is talking about you, no one is talking to you. Actually, that’s more sad than crazy, now that I think about it.
RMMD – I think Beatty wants to retire, do some traveling, play some golf. But no matter how intentionally dull he makes the strip, no one at the syndicate ever reads it and they just keep asking for more, almost as if everyone is on auto-pilot.
MW – Moy seems to believe dramatic tension is “Toby thinks it’s nonsense” on even days and “Toby sort of worries it’s true” on odd ones. This may keep going through Halloween. It’s Brigman I feel bad for. At least she gets to draw some parrots, though.
RMMD – also, Beatty seems to have decided there is no drama in medical storylines. He’s likely had people suggest he watch The Pitt, but he can’t afford HBO on a cartoonist’s salary.
FC: Thel looks disappointed because she’s always dreamed about a divorce, but know she’s realising a sad truth – it won’t get the kids out of her life.
FC: Thel looks exactly the way you’d expect from a housewife from the early 1960s hearing about divorce for the first time. “You mean I can just…end my marriage, and everyone will be okay with that? Why didn’t I hear about this sooner?”
RMMD: Like many neurodivergents I struggle with the art of “small talk,” being unable to summon up the energy or interest to converse about subjects which seem boring and inconsequential. Rex Morgan is doing nothing to help that mindset.
Is anybody still naming their child “Gary”?
***
Some people enjoy the comics for the jokes, some people for the action and intrigue, yet others for the soapy dramas. Then there is Rex Morgan, M.D. catering to those who who feel the other stuff is too much for their heart and just want to read a nice casual conversation between acquaintances.
GT: “That’s right, Emily Clover may be Coach of the Year, but she’s also an absolute loser who can’t win against Goshen unlike her ex-husband, Gil Thorp! Did we mention absolutely nobody came to her Coach of the Year ceremony because nobody loves her and also she’s fat and ugly?”
MW: The bird’s right–what woman in her right mind would want to be with Ian? Que loco indeed!
MW: Look at Rosie over here, not including the upside down exclamation mark before Que and so outing herself as a fake Spaniard. Shameful.
FC: This could be just the motivation Billy needs to sow dissent between his parents. “You know, I heard Daddy say that Fritzi Ritz makes him harder than Chinese algebra.”
RMMD: Jordan’s? What a wonderful restaurant! Sure beats the slop we serve at the cafe.