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Apartment 3-G, 7/22/11

At last, we’re beginning to see the dark secret that lurks behind the Linski clan’s happy facade: namely, that beloved matriarch Carol Linski is really a controlling monster.

• “Keep the sound low; you know how mom is.” If even the slightest bit of extraneous noise filters through the walls and disturbs her, she flies into a violent rage.
• “I wish Lu Ann could stay longer.” Carol keeps an iron grip on her children’s sexuality, refusing to let even her adult son have girlfriends sleep over.
• Carol also interprets the Second Commandment’s ban on idols extremely strictly, forbidding any image in her home that might serve as an alternative to worship of the Lord. Thus, her youngest son isn’t allowed to hang up any posters of his football heroes; instead, he is only permitted to tack up a small hand-written sign extolling the Super Bowl as a general concept.

Beetle Bailey, 7/22/11

Fun fact that probably most of you but probably not all of you know: Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois occupy the same fictional universe, as Beetle and Lois are siblings. So, what I’m trying to say is, Lois from Hi and Lois is or was having a sex affair with this tattooed fellow, who once killed a man, in prison.

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Apartment 3-G, 7/19/11

Much to my irritation, Apartment 3-G seems convinced that hinting at but not revealing the details of Margo’s latest hilariously wrongheaded money-making scheme constitutes “building suspense.” Still, I have to admit that I’m kind of hypnotized by Tommie’s breakfast preparation. First she holds up her box of cereal (and kudos to her for finally graduating from “Cereal”-brand cereal to the slightly more exciting “Bran Bits”), then sets it down somewhere off panel, then picks up her carton of milk. Since her hand isn’t visible in either frame, I guess she’s holding both containers from the bottom, maybe to up the degree of difficulty for some reason? If we’re really lucky, maybe tomorrow we’ll see the bowl. I don’t know if we’ve earned that.

Marmaduke, 7/19/11

Ha ha, yes, “head of household” jokes, these certainly would have been interesting and relevant when everyone was filling out their census form (a year and a half ago) or during tax season (three months ago). Of course, it’s possible that Phil has been sitting there transfixed by Marmaduke’s huge terrifying demon-eyes for all that time, not daring to write anything on the form, not daring to do anything at all.

Mary Worth, 7/19/11

“Light up the sky?” Is that a sex thing? I dearly hope that’s not a sex thing.

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Apartment 3-G, 7/13/11

This isn’t something I usually say, but: kudos to both the artist and the colorist for Apartment 3-G, for livening up this somewhat dull installment! The jagged dividing line in panel two does an excellent job of depicting Lu Ann’s sudden panic at having to try to interact with two people at once.

Momma, 7/13/11

I guess it really shouldn’t come as surprise that a strip that thinks of the Tennessee Valley Authority as a universally recognized cultural touchstone would also think of efforts to dredge navigation channels and build enormous dams as a “conservation project.”

Judge Parker, 7/13/11

Boy, I’ve been kind of slacking when it comes to keeping you up to date on the plot of Judge Parker, haven’t I? I don’t have the energy to discuss all the twists and turns, but the fact that things have ended with one of the smug, rich, attractive people who rule this strip receiving the chanting adulation of dozens of adoring proles should come as a surprise to nobody.