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For Better Or For Worse, 5/1/08

For Better Or For Worse’s grim determination to make EVERY GOD-DAMNED STRIP end with some sort of cute pun has hit new heights of nonsense today. Let’s ignore for the moment the fact that “patience” and “patients” are homophones, rendering the joke incomprehensible to anyone not actually reading it written out; we still have the glaring question of what the hell it could possibly mean. Does John wish that he had waited longer to retire, now that he’s beginning to realize that life at home with Ellie will involve more home improvement projects and less ornate model train landscaping? Or is he genuinely sorry that he spent his dental career rushing from patient to patient, trying to cram as many as possible into the day, leaving a trail of slipshod fillings, shattered jawbones, and drill-lacerated cheeks behind him?

Fun thing to say that sounds kind of dirty but probably isn’t: “I hear you’re finally done with the drill!”

Apartment 3-G, 5/1/08

Notice that the instant the word “boyfriend” passes Lu Ann’s lips, she and Jack are immediately transported outside of the latter’s print shop and magical love nest and dumped unceremoniously out onto the sidewalk below. “Boyfriend, eh? …aaaaaaand I think we’re done here.”

Panel from Dick Tracy, 5/1/08

For many of the more bizarre continuity strips out there, the looming question is, “Are the creators in on the joke?” While it isn’t definitive, to me this panel makes a “yes” answer for Dick Tracy more likely. If you think he’s bad now, wait until you get a load of the front of his head, Dab!

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Crock, 4/26/08

It’s a tough life, being a French Foreign Legionnaire stationed in the restive North African colonies, but there are compensations: for instance, sometimes local women will just walk up to you and hand you substantial quantities of hashish. Figowitz looks at the drugs dubiously, obviously raised on a strict moral diet of “just say non.” C’mon, Figowitz, you know what they say: when in Oran, get as high as a kite as often as possible.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/08

Looks like our heroes in Rex Morgan, M.D., are going to be facing both medical and legal drama! They seem to be in trouble, but a close look at panel two should alleviate any worries you have about their chances: I wouldn’t be so scared of a lawyer who can’t spell “subpoena.”

Apartment 3-G, 4/26/08

“Watch me make my pants disappear!”

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Apartment 3-G, 4/23/08

Margo has mysteriously settled on Colonel Sanders as a sartorial role model.

B.C., 4/23/08

B.C. has ill-advisedly decided to feature a joke involving eating rat feces.

For Better Or For Worse, 4/23/08

For Better Or For Worse has chosen to reinforce the common bigoted belief that chronic masturbators never achieve anything in this life.