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Beetle Bailey, 3/26/24

Does Corporal Yo assume that Sarge would just think “Oh, he finally got that leg-lengthening surgery, that explains why he’s taller! I’m not going to lower my eyes down any further as I think I have all the information I need.” Or did he assume Sarge would think “Hmm, those boots are definitely not compliant with Army Regulation 670-1.” Because he’d be right about that one, actually.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/26/24

Look, I’m not saying we need a campaign to fight anti-vaxxer attitudes with an appeal to deranged sovereign citizen legal theories; but I am saying is that if we wanted to launch such a campaign, I think the Snuffy Smith comic strip would be a great venue for it.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/20/24

OK, look, I guess I get that there’s decades of aesthetic history built into Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and if you’re drawing it you feel like you have to respect tradition and depict Sparkplug and [sigh] Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky as having feet that essentially look like potatoes. But these are animal characters that can also think and talk and make terrible, terrible wordplay, so if you’re introducing a new one, like [even heavier sigh] Spark Pug, it’s OK to draw him with hands, or hand-like paws. It’s fine! Nobody would really notice! What they will notice, on the other hand, is an autograph book and pencil that nobody in the panel could conceivably carry or use, just kind of propped up on nothing. Trust me, they’ll notice that, and they won’t care for it.

Mary Worth, 3/20/24

Yes, it’s true, you read about crazy events happening in the news, and realize that terrible things happen to people! But sometimes all it takes is a long walk in a carefully manicured garden with high admission prices in an idyllic setting in an expensive community to make you realize that it’ll all work out and that nothing bad will happen to you.

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Alice, 3/18/24

Happy Monday, everybody! I’ve decided to add a few more strips into my repertoire, and here’s Alice. Here it is! I would describe this art as being extremely deranged in a 1990s-specific way, and as a Gen Xer who used to read alt-weeklies when those were a thing, I’m delighted to see it. What the fuck is going on, exactly? Can the children see the aliens? Does “Aunty” (the titular Alice, perhaps?) know this is a terrifying spacecraft and is trying to protect the children from that awful knowledge, or does she genuinely think what’s clearly a solid object is “just a cloud”? Are the ends of the spaceship transparent, allowing anyone to see inside, or is this like a cutaway drawing for the benefit of us readers, even though the exterior of the craft appears opaque to the characters? Why is one of the children not saying “Look?” Does she figure the other two are already doing it so why bother? Anyway, this is great, looking forward to more of it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/18/24

Most Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Present … Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky strips consist of absolutely terrible horse-related wordplay, so I’m actually kind of glad today’s is just about horse riding, and what happens when that goes wrong (you fall off and terribly injure yourself).

Judge Parker, 3/18/24

Ahh, it’s a classic Judge Parker time skip! I love the bold font in panel two here, which indicates that Alan is yelling. I certainly hope he’s been yelling for the past two months!

Beetle Bailey, 3/18/24

Big news, everyone! Beetle and Plato have been taken prisoner by the enemy. Guess this strip will have to go on without them until they’re released, after we sign a peace treaty with whoever it is we’re at war with.