Post Content

Mark Trail, 1/27/11

A couple of days ago a faithful reader left this comment on the blog:

Excuse me, but where the fuck is Mark Trail? Or has this site gone completely to hell?

I always feel strongly that foul-mouthed belligerence should get its way, so here you go! Honestly, I haven’t found the endless discussion of Ben Smith’s oversized lures (all the better to please a woman smuggle diamonds inside) particularly compelling, but I am enjoying today’s strip, in which Kelly natters on without waiting for Mark to respond. And that’s just as well, as I’m assuming that he long ago tuned her out. If we could see inside his mind, there would just be an adorable squirrel running back and forth on a tree branch, chittering amiably.

Apartment 3-G, 1/27/11

Speaking of tuning people out, this date has apparently gotten so dull that even Lu Ann has stopped paying attention to it. “Wait, you did what now? Spent money … on a thing … look, are we going to make out or what?”

Mary Worth, 1/27/11

Meanwhile, Mary Worth has hit a new crescendo of edge-of-your-seat tension, as Dr. Jeff seems insistent on forcing Mary to start using a Kindle-thing by any means necessary. Why is Mary resisting the 21st century so strongly? Does she fear that she might accidentally subscribe to this very blog, read about her adventures, and implode into paradoxical nothingness when she realizes she is fictional, and ridiculous?

Pluggers, 1/27/11

Surprisingly few Comics Curmudgeon readers have broken the Pluggers code — perhaps we all have too much dignity? — but based on the name I have a sneaking suspicion that “Kanomi Kelrast” is one of us. And if enjoying the occasional microwavable processed food treat makes us all pluggers, well, then so be it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/27/11

Never doubt the ability of even the corniest strip to occasionally break your heart. The fact that Bearded Husband Whose Name I Forget calls his wife “Sugar Bun” in panel one just makes the strip’s comical misunderstanding all the more poignant.

Crock, 1/27/11

Wow, I never realized until today how few installments of Crock involve the title character’s romantic life.

Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 1/23/11

This is, without doubt, the saddest Beetle Bailey I’ve ever seen, sadder than all the “Beetle and Sarge have a forbidden love for one another” strips combined. Never mind the fact that Beetle’s family lives in some kind of bygone day when hand-written letters constitute the only means of communication at a distance; Beetle’s brother’s speculation that the soldier no longer loves his family is all the more heartbreaking for being so matter-of-fact. But the real emotional gut punch comes in the final panel. Little Chigger is young or stupid enough to think that the mere receipt of a letter is enough to maintain the emotional ties within the Bailey family; but the expressions on the faces of his parents show how devastated they are by Beetle’s affectless, demanding letter. They’ll send the money — if that’s the only way they can keep the thin thread between themselves and their son in place, they’ll do it — but something inside them has been snuffed out.

As a side note: Beetle’s brother is named “Chigger”? Really? As you may or may not know, Hi and Lois‘s Lois is Beetle’s sister, so we have to wonder what her real name was — Ladybug? — before she got married and fled this sad, creepy family for good.

Crankshaft, 1/23/11

Oh, look, it’s another cheery day in the Funkyverse. Today, we learn that you can either be driven mad by the horrible scratching of the vermin that live in your walls, or you can turn up the TV and be deafened with awful news about our nation’s economic crisis. Those are your choices!

Panel from Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/23/11

Here’s the question I want to ask, doctor: why are you having Loweezy lower Li’l Tater into that enormous pie shell? How many more infants will you need to complete your monstrous baby pie, and who will be eating it?

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 1/23/11

Ah, the narcotic of television sedates unruly children and elders alike, putting them into a trance-like state so that they won’t bother you with their irritating opinions or desires. I preserve the first panel here mainly to note that Dennis the Menace has finally caught up to 1999, with unsettling results.

Hagar the Horrible, 1/23/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because spending time doing things with your wife that she enjoys is worse than the most heinous physical torture!

Hi and Lois, 1/23/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because an open and honest relationship with your wife will be seen by your male friends as a betrayal!

Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 1/20/11

“We are not in the same boat, Tommie! Do you hear me? Not the same! Never have been! Never will be!”

Actually, while I love mocking a good Margo beatdown as much as the next guy, I honestly have no idea what Tommie is talking about. Margo is managing multiple businesses and overextended, and Tommie is … what, exactly? Maybe she has her own wedding planning business too, just like Margo, except it’s super boring so the strip never bothers to show us anything about it.

Family Circus, 1/20/11

“Grandma also says that most kids these days ride in child seats, or at least get buckled in by seatbelts, but Daddy doesn’t really care if we live or die.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/20/11

“Tarnation! Y’say thar’s a store bringing the devil’s commerce into our subsistance agriculture-based economy? Time t’get together a torch-wieldin’ mob!”