Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Alice, 8/7/24

The thing is that your boy Josh came down with COVID-19 last weekend, and while I am currently on the mend it made my brain a little loopy this week (this Alice strip is here to show you what it was like inside my skull for a while) and also apparently interfered with my ability to operate the ol’ time travel machine. This meant I posted Thursday’s strips on Wednesday and (briefly) posted tomorrow’s (Friday’s) strips Thursday (the day on which I am writing this Wednesday post). Ooops! I’ve corrected the dates on everything on the site (so it goes in the right order), but here’s a short Wednesday post, for completeness!

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/24

Sure, Mr. Wilson, I get it. There are lots of times when I think up a joke, but doing it right involves figuring out some specific pieces of information, like “What’s a typical amount that a child Dennis’s age weighs” and “Wait, how old is Dennis supposed to be, actually,” and then I just don’t bother. This is frankly the most relatable this man has ever been to me.

Beetle Bailey and Hi and Lois, 8/7/24

Oh no, Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC has learned what “influencers” are and will be making jokes about them, code red code red

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Judge Parker, 7/27/24

Hey, remember how Neddy’s fiance was grumpy about some kind of family business drama? Well, big news: Sophie’s not-boyfriend’s brother, who’s also not her boyfriend (ha ha, but what if…?) is also involved in some kind of family business drama! Now, are these the same family and/or the same drama? It doesn’t seem possible, based on the details as I understand them, but on the other hand, why would this strip inflict two separate boringly vague Spencer Girls Get Entangled In Family Business Drama storylines on us? Why would they do that to me, personally?

Beetle Bailey, 7/27/24

Sorry to nitpick a Beetle Bailey strip that actually has a pretty good joke in it, but in panel two Sarge is being tended to by Doctor Bonkus, the camp’s resident psychiatrist. While he’s technically an M.D., I don’t think he’s the correct practitioner for this job, unless the psychic stress of being proven wrong by Beetle has finally pushed Sarge over the edge into madness.

Pardon My Planet, 7/27/24

CARTOONIST, READING GENESIS 2:9 LOOKING FOR IDEAS FOR A COMIC PANEL, GETTING TO THE PHRASE “TREE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL” BUT STOPPING READING RIGHT AS HE ARRIVES AS “AND”: Probably the rest of this phrase is “and bad tasting fruit.” No need to waste time reading any further! Today’s joke is ready!

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Mary Worth, 7/25/24

Hey, remember when Mary threw a surprise funeral for Wilbur’s fish? And lots of people Wilbur knew were there, and they all paid attention to Wilbur, and felt sorry for Wilbur? Wilbur sure remembers it! But now the era of paying attention to Wilbur is over, and all he has left to console himself with are his sad thoughts and his one alive fish. But what if … there were a way … with the resources he has at hand … to reproduce those heady, bygone days when all eyes and sympathy were on Wilbur? Wilbur is 100% going to Munchausen syndrome by proxy that fish, is what I’m saying.

Beetle Bailey, 7/25/24

I actually really enjoy the contrast between Sarge and Lt. Fuzz in the second panel here. Fuzz, an effete military bureaucrat, is pecking away at his laptop, indistinguishable from a middle manager at any civilian white-collar business. Meanwhile, Sarge, the masculine shaper of warriors, has only a single piece of paper on his desk, presumably containing a list of soldiers ranked by how thoroughly he has broken their spirits in preparation for the task of rebuilding them as dedicated killing machines.

Crock, 7/25/24

Algeria has huge oil and gas reserves; but the grinding colonial war there has disrupted production, and the people back home are now suffering through a fuel crisis while these two, who are supposed to be crushing the rebels and restoring the spoils of empire to the metropole, crack wise about farts from the safety of their fortified compound. Sad!