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Shoe, 11/24/24

If I told you to imagine a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, you’d probably think, “Wow! Can’t get duller than that!” Well, what if I told you to imagine two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed? Even duller, right? Thankfully, today’s Shoe artists have tried to fight against the tide, by showing you two people watching a local TV news report about a city clerk being appointed, but you’re seeing them from an angle directly above them for some reason, like you’re sneaking into their house via the HVAC ducts as part of some sort of elaborate heist.

Beetle Bailey and Blondie, 11/24/24

I feel like I’ve never seen a stronger contrast between the quality of the throwaway panels like we have between these two strips today. The Beetle Bailey panels very efficiently establish how Sunday mornings in the Camp Swampy barracks play out and lay more character groundwork for Beetle and Sarge’s relationship. Blondie’s panels, meanwhile, are as lazy as possible, add absolutely nothing, pure clip art dreck that might as well be replaced by a tire ad. And yet when it comes to actual strip punchlines, Blondie is actually funny for once whereas Beetle Bailey … well, not so much. Life is a rich tapestry!

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Marvin, 11/20/24

Good news, everyone! Marvin? The terrible baby? The one who does all the pissing and shitting? Well, he doesn’t know about sex yet. Yet. Fingers crossed he never does.

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/24

Uh, Sarge, pretty sure that jeep belongs to the U.S. Army, and therefore ultimately to the American taxpayer? Which, I guess you’re one of those, but so is Miss Buxley.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/24

Dennis believes that he and he alone possesses free will and is not bound by unbreakable fate; in his mind, he is the world’s sole protagonist. Folks … not to overstate this, but that’s about as menacing as it gets.

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Beetle Bailey, 11/9/24

I know it’s just because of basic newspaper comic strip art hackery, but it really bothers me that Beetle’s shirt here looks exactly like his underwear from two days ago. Did he do that on purpose? Is he wearing that underwear right now? Is it a set? Is he the sort of sicko who goes into some real sicko store, sees a matching shirt/underwear set, then buys it, then wears it? The mind reels. Reels, I say!

Mary Worth, 11/9/24

Since Ed guilted Estelle into abandoning her elaborate themed wedding dreams to instead just do a quickie living room wedding for a handful of people, fully a third of whom were their exes, I assume that Mary does not mean “paying off” in a literal sense here. At least Eve is proud of the things she’s learning, unlike the real unsavory stuff Saul is picking up in his classes that he’s coming home and telling her about or maybe even demonstrating afterwards, to her mingled horror and fascination.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/24

Truck! Do not attempt to book Shorty and the Beanpole to deliver their neo-vaudevillian stylings at your wedding reception, you will regret it more than you can possibly imagine