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Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Quick takes on still more babies and other terrible children

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Marvin, 11/20/24

Good news, everyone! Marvin? The terrible baby? The one who does all the pissing and shitting? Well, he doesn’t know about sex yet. Yet. Fingers crossed he never does.

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/24

Uh, Sarge, pretty sure that jeep belongs to the U.S. Army, and therefore ultimately to the American taxpayer? Which, I guess you’re one of those, but so is Miss Buxley.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/24

Dennis believes that he and he alone possesses free will and is not bound by unbreakable fate; in his mind, he is the world’s sole protagonist. Folks … not to overstate this, but that’s about as menacing as it gets.

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Saturday is for cheap love

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Beetle Bailey, 11/9/24

I know it’s just because of basic newspaper comic strip art hackery, but it really bothers me that Beetle’s shirt here looks exactly like his underwear from two days ago. Did he do that on purpose? Is he wearing that underwear right now? Is it a set? Is he the sort of sicko who goes into some real sicko store, sees a matching shirt/underwear set, then buys it, then wears it? The mind reels. Reels, I say!

Mary Worth, 11/9/24

Since Ed guilted Estelle into abandoning her elaborate themed wedding dreams to instead just do a quickie living room wedding for a handful of people, fully a third of whom were their exes, I assume that Mary does not mean “paying off” in a literal sense here. At least Eve is proud of the things she’s learning, unlike the real unsavory stuff Saul is picking up in his classes that he’s coming home and telling her about or maybe even demonstrating afterwards, to her mingled horror and fascination.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/9/24

Truck! Do not attempt to book Shorty and the Beanpole to deliver their neo-vaudevillian stylings at your wedding reception, you will regret it more than you can possibly imagine

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Josh says some nice stuff

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Flash Gordon, 11/7/24

The new-ish iteration of Flash Gordon got a shout-out from Uncle Lumpy a few weeks ago, but I’m here to give it my full-time blogger shoutout! The art is great, and the writing is very fun and captures the fast-paced cliff-hanger-y-ness of old movie serials. There hasn’t been too much to make fun of, but I’m going to start slipping it into the rotation here, I think. Anyway, today there are two important developments: we meet the King of the Lion Men and learn that his crown appears to be made from a wildebeest skull (dark!), and once again have the timeless truth affirmed that any sequential art whose storyline would support it at all eventually trends towards erotic furry stuff.

Beetle Bailey, 11/7/24

There’s been a little bit of an attempt in Beetle Bailey of late to upgrade Zero’s character from “dumb farm boy” to “farm boy with certain legitimate skills and his own point of view,” and today seems to be a big step in that direction. Frankly, I would like to see more depth added to all of this strip’s one-note characters. Lt. Fuzz isn’t just an annoying bureaucratic kiss-up: he’s trying to drag Camp Swampy’s administration into the 21st century while showing respect for the current leadership! Cosmo isn’t just a scam artist looking out for number 1: he represents the sort of individual ingenuity that’s always existed in supposedly regimented structures like the military! And Rocky was … in a gang, I guess? Or is currently in a gang? And gangs represent an alternative form of belonging and identity for those living in economically and socially marginal areas that have been more or less abandoned by the state? That’s what I assume he and Zero were talking about immediately before this strip started, and I frankly would’ve liked to have seen it.

Six Chix, 11/7/24

Folks, have you seen Conclave yet? It’s a banger! Everyone’s got Conclave fever! And by everybody I mean at least me and the Thursday Chik. That’s assuming the movie was the inspiration for this strip, that is, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but makes as much sense as anything else, I guess. Anyway! Go see Conclave today!