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Dick Tracy, 10/18/23

Oh no! Why would you build a huge wing on the back of your mansion that has an entirely glass ceiling? Why, you’re just asking for someone to break through it and steal all your rare books in a daring heist! I swear, people don’t do any basic defensibility research before engaging in massive building projects anymore.

Beetle Bailey, 10/18/23

What with all the changes in social mores and tolerance over the past 30 to 50 years or so, you, the typical Beetle Bailey reader, are probably concerned: is it possible that Otto, the famous army dog, is a homosexual? Well, worry no more! He’s as straight as they come, and is attracted to human women, which is, uh, fine? We’ll say it’s fine.

Shoe, 10/18/23

The Perfesser is all gakked out on uppers and is now begging his connection for a little something to mellow him out. Seems a little edgy for a talking bird comic but what do I know!

Dennis the Menace, 10/18/23

“But she’s really worked hard to improve for this performance, and you can tell the audience is responding to it! I’m proud of her!”

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Mary Worth, 10/14/23

Uh oh! Keith may have been willing to agreed to disagree on whether or not society should be allowed to disintegrate into chaos, but my understanding is that U.S. Marines very much do not like it when you call them “soldiers,” which is what the guys in the Army are. Totally different branch! This is a line Sonia will regret crossing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/14/23

Wait, Buzz was locked in that car trunk for days and it’s only his shirt that’s fragrant? I think I’m finally seeing what the medical angle in this Rex Morgan, M.D., plot is going to be.

Beetle Bailey, 10/14/23

Sorry, I know it’s still the weekend, but I’m going to have to call in sick and spend next week lying down now that I know that there’s an analogue to Hooters in the Beetle Bailey universe and it’s called “Honkers.”

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Beetle Bailey, 10/12/23

I don’t know if General Halftrack’s rambling comeback here is supposed to be funny (it isn’t) or if it’s supposed to indicate that he’s flustered and not very smart so the only comeback he can unleash is this unfunny word salad (which also isn’t funny even in a meta way). Either way, not good. I know that a lot of times I take my “Comics Curmudgeon” mission as a chance to riff on some intellectual or social or artistic theme, but sometimes I just gotta point to a strip and say “You didn’t do so hot today, friend.”

Shoe, 10/12/23

Someday I’m going to be senile and in a home somewhere and will have forgotten the names and faces of everyone I’ve ever loved, but certain bits of terrible knowledge will just be burned into my decaying brain forever. “Birds and other animals with cloacae don’t really have sphincters like mammals and just pee and poop freely all day” is one of those facts that will never leave me, and I’m reasonably sure I learned it while researching a post about Shoe. All these bird-people should be wearing adult diapers, is what I’m saying.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/12/23

I’m not going to say that this long, shaggy-dog Mud apology tour/Mirakle Method storyline would be redeemed if it ends with Truck summarily firing Buck as his agent and taking on this criminal as an agent. But, like, I wouldn’t be mad about it, either.