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Beetle Bailey, 3/1/05

Boy, Spc. Chip Gizmo must be on leave or something, because Beetle Bailey is trotting out all the supporting characters for their brief moment in the sun. I’ll bet Killer here is wishing that his was a bit more dignified. Rocky at least got to show his free spirit and refusal to be hemmed in by traditional political distinctions; Killer apparently thinks that girls are impressed when you dry hump the landscaping. So, so misguided, my randy, mustachioed friend. I’d say that these two strips offer an intriguing window into somebody’s perception of modern leftist politics, but I think that’s maybe giving Beetle Bailey a wee bit more credit than it deserves. The guy I feel bad for is Sarge, who’s reduced to serving as a dumfounded bystander and setup man for these unspeakably lame jokes.

By the way, is there anyone who was in the army, possibly in the 1950s, who can explain to me the difference between Rocky and Killer’s hats?

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Beetle Bailey, 2/26/05

Look at ’em! Bunch of lousy peacenik hippies! Not a decent pair of pants or shoes in the whole bunch!

On the bright side, though: tube tops. You don’t get those at a pro-war rally.

By the way, I know I live in a blue state and all, but do they actually have pro-war rallies? Like, people carrying signs that say “BOMB ‘EM” and stuff?

Anyway, this strip features Rocky, one of the lesser-used Beetle Bailey platoon members. The writers like to come up with a new one-dimensional character every few years and beat his lone joke to death slowly and painfully (good ol’ Chip Gizmo is current holder of this honor) before relegating him to the supporting cast. Rocky’s heyday must have been back in the 1950s or so, because he gets his name from the fact that he likes the durn “rock and roll” music that the kids are all hot and bothered about these days. I always confuse him with Killer, whose distinguishing characteristic is that he likes the ladies (he’s a ladykiller, get it?). If Killer were used in this strip, it might have made a vague sort of sense (yes, that midriff-baring pacifist again). As it is: sorry, but no.

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Beetle Bailey, 11/17/04

Hmm … let’s see … Beetle Bailey … hasn’t been funny for years … need new character … Japanese guy both offensive and not funny … computer geek guy also not funny, possibly offensive … I know! Tiny gnome who lives in the forest and casts magic spells!

I can’t see anything going wrong with that. Pure comedy gold!