Archive: Crankshaft

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/5/25

Wow, I had always assumed that Hootin’ Holler was cut off from outside civilization to the extent that it’s blessedly not affected by unrealistic youth and beauty culture, but here I see that not only am I wrong but even the local chthonic witch is feeling insecure about herself. Fortunately, she’s invented a potion that can magically tailor clothes, and if she can refine it to be more easily controlled she’ll be able to afford all the more conventional beauty enhancement treatments she wants.

Dennis the Menace, 4/5/25

Usually it’s Dennis who interprets a normal turn of phrase in a way that’s wrong and kind of insulting, and I like his facial expression here in panel two, in which game seems to be recognizing game.

Crankshaft, 4/5/25

I’ve only started revisiting Crankshaft again in the past couple months but I’m sincerely glad to have gotten here in time to see Pam discover that her husband has been draining the family bank accounts to buy bootleg Huckleberry Hound DVDs. Do you think they’re going to divorce over this? I sure hope so!

Luann, 4/5/25

“Oh,” you’ve probably been thinking, “I guess Brad and Toni are doing a whole week at the amusement park, but at least it probably won’t end with them fucking in their car in the parking lot.” You fool. You idiot. You naive simpleton.

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Mary Worth, 4/3/25

The thing about Belle is that frankly nobody is operating on her level, at least not yet, and that makes her extremely dangerous. Look at the asymmetry in thought balloons in that second panel. Dawn is calling her a “phony nut,” which, c’mon Dawn, which is it? Is she a real nut or is she pretending to be a nut? Not very cutting. Meanwhile, every synapse erratically firing in Belle’s brain is just “KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL”

Crankshaft, 4/3/25

Ha ha, it’s funny because Pam herself was profoundly warped when she was young, because of her father’s terrible personality!

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Crankshaft, 2/23/25

Wait, why does John need Crazy Harry’s help? By Spider-Man logic, if he had been bitten by a radioactive cleaning lady, shouldn’t he have gained the proportional strength and powers of a cleaning lady, including access to common cleaning lady tools like stepladders and the foresight to deploy them? Or are we actually operating on real-world logic, and after suffering a tragic bite he’s just feeling increasingly feeble and woozy, due to radiation poisoning?

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/23/25

I really love the aside in the last sentence that Slylock can afford the more expensive wand. He makes good money as the Forest Kingdom’s primary enforcer, OK? He absolutely can throw away $8 on a whimsically shaped bubble-making wand if he wants to. In fact, he’s tempted to do so, even though it makes the same normal spherical bubbles the cheap one makes, just to conspicuously display his access to wealth. He’s not poor, got it????

Shoe, 2/23/25

“Also when I say ‘getting married’ I mean ‘making a suicide pact.’ Six of one, half a dozen of the other, amiright? Ha ha!”