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Dennis the Menace, 11/28/23

I guess the joke here is that Dennis is too stupid to know what “Uncle Sam” means, and has mistaken this metonym for America and the federal government for one of Mr. Wilson’s actual uncles, and thinks maybe the whole financial system is based on avuncular largess? This would work better if we already knew that “Uncle Charlie” is a real uncle in his family, and who knows, maybe there was a panel published sometime in the last 62 years that establishes this, but I’m reasonably sure that when it comes to Dennis the Menace Lore Knowers I’m in the top 5%, so if this is news to me, it probably is to most other people as well.

Blondie, 11/28/23

I think this strip does a pretty good job of capturing the energy of being trapped in a small, enclosed space with a crank (and for once, Dagwood is not the crank). I particularly like the way this guy’s waving his wallet around, as if that proves something about his wife’s spending. Clearing out your bank account has nothing to do with how much cash is in your wallet, my friend! Money’s all just numbers in a computer now, for the most part. You clearly have even less of a grasp on your financial situation than you think!

Mary Worth, 11/28/23

Speaking of being trapped in a small, enclosed space with someone, Kitty and Keith are trapped in a small, enclosed space (Keith’s Jeep) romantically, as Kitty’s ride back from the stables conveniently ditched her so Keith has to give her a ride home. They’re belting out Stevie Wonders’s 1984 hit, “Love Light in Flight,” and are definitely going to fool around when they get back to Kitty’s place, which is big news for those who are rooting for these two to reconnect. I’m not one of those people — in fact, the whole prospect repulses and disgusts me — but I take seriously my mission of reporting on the comics and wanted to pass the information along to all the K/K shippers out there.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/22/23

Well, well, well, it looks like what’s increasingly obviously Buzzy and Rene’s co-grift is coming along nicely, with Rene being sprung from jail by his fancy lawyer so he can do more crimes. Too bad the Harwoods couldn’t afford a lawyer who could keep this notorious criminal behind bars! Also, too bad Congress passed the I’ve Got Mine Act, under which all public criminal prosecution for offenses up to and including attempted murder were eliminated as “not cost effective” and now victims need to hire their own attorneys, as all disputes are hashed out in civil courts. (The I’ve Got Mine Act was passed after heavy lobbying from Rex Morgan, who has his and frankly thinks less of you if you don’t have yours.)

Dennis the Menace, 11/22/23

Man, I don’t know if you can ever be called a “menace” if you’re so dumb that someone has to point at a giant picture of a turkey and say “This is called Thanksgiving, Dennis. That’s a turkey. Turkey. No, that’s a picture you, can’t eat it.” Anyway, to answer your questions, Dennis, the turkey can’t stay awake because it’s dead. You have to kill it well before you put it in the oven.

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Mary Worth, 11/20/23

I regret to inform you that Keith and Kitty’s date redo went really well, and now she’s accepted Keith’s invite to help him sensually relive his days as a Horse Cop and hers as a Horse Girl. Our last hope is that the Santa Royale Stables remain just as romantically cursed as they were back in 2007 when Jeff’s son Dr. Drew was on the receiving end of an epic love triangle slapdown from Dawn that echoed down through the ages and still haunts the place.

Six Chix, 11/20/23

Normally I’d interpret this as a human saying something rude about the cows in human language and a cow saying something similarly rude about the human in cow language, but the fact that the woman on the right turns her head to face the cows between panels seems to indicate to me that maybe the cows are speaking English aloud? I don’t think I’d react to talking cow with a sly little smile — more a series of unintelligible screams, to be honest — but I don’t know what other people do.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/23

I like the way Henry seems to be holding Alice back a bit. “No, no, let’s see where he goes with this,” he’s saying. “I’ve honestly wondered this myself.”