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Archie, 9/25/15

Archie’s whole shtick is of course to present a false and corrosive nostalgia for a bygone era that downplays any and all negative aspects of generic mid-20th century high school life, but it’s rare to see the strip get self-aware like this. Principal Weatherbee eats the lunch created in an industrial kitchen from mass-produced staple ingredients, which is the only way to feed a school full of children and staff efficiently and within the shrinking budget allotted. “It’s not like my mon used to make!” Weatherbee declares, failing to mention that for his mother preparing food for even a small family took hours and hours every week.

Dennis the Menace, 9/25/15

You know, I’d like to think that my blog is proof that cultural criticism can effect social change. Certainly Dennis has seen a real menacing uptick lately, and I’m going to take the credit and assume this is a reaction to my years-long campaign to point out how non-menacing he’s been. “Wow, Mom, you kissed me and I felt nothing. No healing, no comfort, nothing.” Pretty sure things children say to their parents don’t get more menacing than that.

Herb and Jamaal, 9/25/15

Moses also died before the people he led arrived at their destination! What I’m trying to say this could be the most emotionally affecting Herb and Jamaal storyline yet, after which they’re going to have to change the name of the strip.

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Herb and Jamaal, 9/8/15

“Herb and Jamaal eschews proper nouns and really specifics of any kind” is a thing I used to talk about on this blog a lot, but I got sort of tired of it and I don’t think the strip does it as much as it used to anyway. Today at least it seems like it might vaguely be in service to the joke? I mean, it would be more natural if the dialogue went like this: “She arrives today on the noon bus!” “Is that the Greyhound?” “Yes.” “Well, that’s appropriate, because she’s a real dog, get it? Tell her she’s not allowed to touch my stuff.” But no, the tension in Herb’s household is expressed much, much more passive aggressively.

I also like that Eula has a Star Trek mug. Just because she’s moved in with the son-in-law that she despises, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have hobbies or interests! Herb, who has no hobbies or interests, couldn’t think of anything to put on his mug but his own name.

Judge Parker, 9/8/15

It must be pretty fun to be Marie, who has her housekeeping duties occasionally interrupted by industrial cleaning duties and HR department duties. I approve of this development, because it brings forward the inevitable day when she murders all these people.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/24/15

Hey Old Cindy, news flash: popularity comes from people liking you. Young Cindy isn’t wearing a “popularity mask” — in her time she is genuinely, extraordinarily, and (imagine this) hilariously popular. And far from loathing herself, she feels really good about it. If you managed to talk yourself into regretting all that, it’s your loss — Young Cindy is having a blast.

Maybe Young Cindy should point out that bossy olds like you are forever bringing kids down telling them to stop having fun, and just because your Special Lesson cost you so much doesn’t mean it’s worth anything to her. And that her drink needs refreshing so excuse me lady, sheesh.

Hey, I guess in some crazy way that “self-loathing” thing was right after all!

Herb and Jamaal, 7/24/15

OK, Generic Customer Guy, what’s your beef? You didn’t like hanging out and watching TV with your friends, and you don’t like hauling stuff around for your friends, so I’m getting the impression you just really don’t like these friends! Go find new ones … like me, for example! It just so happens I’m replacing a fence out back, and will accept a generous offer to haul some lumber in lieu of a formal introduction.

Reminder: no Comments of the Week on my watch – Josh alone stands in judgment! I hope you enjoy your weekend as much as I enjoy building a fence with my new friend!

— Uncle Lumpy