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Marvin and Hi and Lois, 8/24/24

Jeff … Hi … you morons. You idiots. You absolute fools. You’re already looking ahead to the passage of time, to the day when your kids have grown up and this phase of their life and yours is over forever, either with an anticipatory sense of nostalgia (Hi) or a frankly dickish mercenary sullenness (Jeff). But it will never happen. You’re stuck there, with these kids at the age they are, forever. It’s already been decades, but you can’t see it, can’t feel it, can’t know it. But it has been, and it will be. This is it. This is now. This is always now.

Mary Worth, 8/24/24

I guess Ed is cradling his new finacée firmly but gently in his arms to reestablish intimacy after their little dispute, but it really just looks like he’s physically restraining her from rushing to the table and adding yet another color-coded folder to her collection, this one for information on local DJs sorted by price and Yelp rating.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/20/24

Look, I’ve been to plenty of comedy open mics in my time, and the thing you have to keep in mind about them is that they are generally extremely depressing and poorly attended, and the people who do come are invariably all comics looking for a few minutes of stage time who are staring at their phones or mentally running through their sets when other people are performing and who inevitably leave once they get off stage — slinking back home, if they’re lucky, or trying to find another mic, if they’re truly in too deep. Anyway, my point is that you don’t normally see a bunch of people sitting there watching attentively as in panel one. The Glenwood entertainment scene must be truly dire if this many people are coming to see an open mic that allows literal children to perform, and those children are trying to make a genre they’re calling “neo-vaudeville” happen. Are there no roots country concerts these poor souls could be attending instead? Has it really come to this?

Hi and Lois, 8/20/24

It’s pretty funny how exasperated Hi looks in the second panel. Wow, Hi, sorry your kids are taking an interest in your professional life! Although I do think the ribs thing isn’t realistic; it seems more likely that Dot’s initial Google takeaway would be more “Wait, Kansas City is in Missouri? What the heck!”

Hagar the Horrible, 8/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Hagar and his family will freeze to death in the bitterly cold Scandinavian winter!

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Dennis the Menace, 8/15/24

Spent a long time … no, that’s a lie. I spent like 30 seconds trying to figure if there was a “joke” here per se. Like, is it about … ice cream or something? Maybe? Eventually decided that there wasn’t. Mr. Wilson is just feeling better! Maybe he finally got on the right cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals, or maybe he just realized he has it pretty good and decided to rearrange his outlook on life. Either way, good for him!

Hi and Lois, 8/15/24

There’s no joke here either, but that’s par for the course in this strip now, and frankly I’m not complaining, because this is great. The little league team isn’t doing well, and Hi, who probably already feels like it’s kind of a thankless job, just got publicly insulted by one of the kids, while his son looks on in horror. It’s perfect! Keep it up, Hi and Lois!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/15/24

I’ve ruffled a few feathers by speaking some tough truths about comic characters — namely, the truth that the Lockhorns are Millennials. So here’s some more shocking real talk: probably most of you, based on their old-timey attire plus the fact that they look like wizened, ancient gnome-creatures, assume that Snuffy and Loweezy Smif are old people. But that doesn’t add up! As you can see here, they don’t see themselves that way; moreover, they have an infant child, and live in the sort of community where younger parenthood is the norm! We must therefore assume that they are at most 27 years old, and you know what that means: THE SMIFS ARE ZOOMERS