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Hagar the Horrible, 6/18/17

There’s a lot of backstory that has to go into making this gag work. First Hagar has to decide that his life is worthy of being commemorated in a long tale, and then, despite his canonical illiteracy, he has to choose to abandon the traditional orally transmitted poetry of his Viking ancestors in favor of a written biography. Then he has to strong-arm Lucky Eddy, who is himself illiterate, into learning letter-craft and then writing Hagar’s life story down. Then Hagar has to ask which parts of the book are bad for Helga to read, because, as his crude X indicates, he himself still refuses to learn the southern art of writing. Which Helga … has? There’s a lot going on here, is what I’m saying.

Mary Worth, 6/18/17

There is as ever a lot of inappropriate bold-lettering in Mary Worth, but I dearly hope that Esme’s all-bolded final speech balloon indicates that she’s shouting her dialogue at the top of her lungs down the deck. “I’M LEAVING THE INVITATION OPEN, DEREK! THE SEX INVITATION! YOU KNOW, FOR EXTRAMARITAL SEX! FOR WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE! CABIN 1122! COME BY ANY TIME! TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!”

Hi and Lois, 6/18/17

Guys, I’m … I’m starting to worry about Hi.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/17

[a few weeks later, Kelly sees a reference to “the LGBT community” and is moved to look up what the “B” stands for] hey, wait a minute

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Pluggers, 6/17/17

Maybe it’s my own plugger-esque simplicity, but I genuinely get a kick out of the “Pluggers seems to forget that its main characters are animal-people and that introducing actual animals into the narrative is confusing” installments of Pluggers, and today might be my favorite yet. Ha ha, it’s funny because pluggers save money on grooming by just stripping naked and letting their friends hose them down in a bucket in their backyard!

Hi and Lois, 6/17/17

Big shoutout to Hi and Lois for providing the grimmest “punchline” the comics will see this month, probably! Ha ha, it’s funny because Hi is sadly staring into the fire, reflecting on the unbridgeable emotional chasm between himself and his family!

Dennis the Menace, 6/17/17

“Was that menacing? Is nitpicking on etymology menacing? Jesus Christ, I’m exhausted, it’s the weekend, lemme just … lemme just leave it at that, OK? Stepladders, I dunno man.”

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Hi and Lois, 6/16/17

Oh, man, it’s been hard enough for bored housewives like Lois to make flirty eyes at poor Brendan via the drive-through bank teller camera — now they’re supposed to do it through the computer somehow?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/16/17

For a supposedly “woke” arts high school, this depiction of the impoverished rural working class is extremely problematic.

Mark Trail, 6/16/17

CONFIRMED: FBI GUY’S TOP-OF-HEAD HAIR-BLOB IS COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM ALL SIDE- AND BACK-OF-HEAD HAIR, REPRESENTING THE MOST BONKERS HAIRSTYLE IN MARK TRAIL TO DATE