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Archive: Hi and Lois

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Walker-Browne shocking conclusions

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Beetle Bailey, 5/27/22

I’m trying to figure out what “cave” would even mean in this context, in which they’ve clearly all been marching so long that it’s not like turning around and going back would do any good. Does “cave” mean … dying? Is Sarge going to march his soldiers out to the desert, to die, scolding them for dying all the while? You have to admit that this would be an extremely metal way for Beetle Bailey to end.

Hi and Lois, 5/27/22

Not sure exactly what’s going on here, but I would actually enjoy this if Hi had decided that this could be a simultaneously very ostentatious and very wholesome way to quit his job.

Mary Worth, 5/27/22

Damn, Dawn’s not even going to wait until she gets to the computer lab to start letting her eyes wander, huh? This dude looks like the strong, silent type who doesn’t know a single fact about mountain lions and if he did would politely keep it to himself unless asked about it directly.

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Thursday quickies

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Dennis the Menace, 5/26/22

The only thing menacing here is that Dennis is six years old and should only have the vaguest idea of what “radio” is, and he certainly shouldn’t know that it had a pre-TV heyday. What is Mr. Wilson filling his head with on those constant next-door visits? Is he getting the poor boy hooked on nostalgia, the deadliest drug of all?

Hi and Lois, 5/26/22

Hi and Lois may have moved their family to the most white-bread suburb there is, but clearly they’ve been letting the kids get on the computer or something, and they’ve learned “ethnic” words and are now experimenting with “big city” foods. Is it time to go full Keane Kompound?

Mary Worth, 5/26/22

“So I can smother you with it while you sleep, Jesus Christ”

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You guys are going straight to JANI-JAIL (a closet)

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/25/22

Exciting developments in Rex Morgan, M.D., everyone! It turns out that vigilantism is not only bad for your rotator cuff, but it’s also illegal, whoops. I’m honestly intrigued by our hero’s insistence not only that being a vigilante is good, but that these guys are his prisoners and his responsibility. Like, a typical superhero’s M.O. is to leave the bad guys he catches tied up for the cops to find, perhaps with a demeaning note taped to their chest. But what does the Street Sweeper have planned for these thugs, if not that? Remember, by day he’s a janitor with a real crappy apartment, so I’m concerned that he doesn’t have the proper facilities to detain these gentlemen, let alone conduct a proper trial. I’m beginning to wonder if he injured his rotator cuff from the summary executions he’s been doing nonstop over the past few months.

Mary Worth, 5/25/22

Uh oh, bad news! Jared will not be able to rely on physical proximity to maintain his hold over Dawn this summer. What if the nerds down at the computer lab turn out to be hotter than hospital-nerds like Jared? We all know Dawn’s object permanence is weak, so what weird and unpleasant passive-aggressive behavior will Jared have to resort to in order to keep her heart?

Hi and Lois, 5/25/22

I am drawing great strength from the facial expressions of both Hi and the ice cream guy in panel two. They are both, each in their own way, extremely over these kids’ shit.