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Marvin, 9/1/23

I usually wouldn’t describe the syndicated newspaper comic strip Marvin as “realistic,” but I gotta say, Jenny in panels one and two really vividly captures the expression of “oh my god my husband left our literal baby out in the hot sun by himself all afternoon and is gloating about it, I need to make a plan to get the both of us away from here safely without him knowing.”

Dustin, 9/1/23

If you, like me, hate Dustin’s dad with a burning passion, you probably read Dustin and think, “Obviously Dustin’s dad’s whole family hates him as much as I do, but is he blissfully unaware, or does he know, and it haunts him?” Well, today’s strip has some good news for all of us!

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Gasoline Alley, 8/26/23

Hey, remember the bear in Gasoline Alley who can talk? Well, he found a human baby abandoned in the woods and brought him to the ranger station for safekeeping. Today we learn that he’s “heard” of angels but doesn’t know much about them, which implies to me that while bears in the GasAlliverse are sapient and can talk, they don’t have eternal souls that live on after death. Some real unsettling implications there if you think about it!

Dennis the Menace, 8/26/23

Margaret is showing Dennis was a true menace is: she’s not only irritating Mr. Wilson, but breaking the fourth wall and confronting the comics’ aging readership with the fact that the late 1990s were 25 years ago.

Marvin, 8/26/23

Imagine if your house was burning down, everything you own going up in flames, but one of the firefighters who’ve come to help has to sheepishly tell you that they can’t hook their hoses up until a bunch of dogs finish pissing. That’s life in the Marvinverse, Where Piss Comes First™.

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Dick Tracy, 8/23/23

Hey! Remember, Sprocket Nitrate, the ancillary Dick Tracy character whose whole deal is she goes around barefoot all the time? Well, we’ve heard that some of you foot sickos are getting a little too turned on by this, so for this plotline we’re having her walk through a dirty old abandoned train tunnel, which you shouldn’t find arousing at all, but rather unpleasant and distressing! [An aide whispers some information about the sort of thing foot sickos are into in my ear] What? Oh NO

Blondie, 8/23/23

Ha ha, you guys heard about the “texting” these kids do today? You heard about these fancy new “cell phones”? Oh, you have? You say that 90 percent of Americans had cell phones 10 years ago? But if that’s true, why would a comic strip in the year of our lord 2023 be doing a joke like this? Huh, how do you explain that, smart guy?

Marvin, 8/23/23

I’m not sure if I personally have done something to offend an ancient spirit or powerful magic user, or if rather a curse attached itself my bloodline in generations past, but I have made peace with the fact that I am fated to inform you, my hapless readers, every time the newspaper comic strip Marvin does a joke where the whole thing is “Check it out! Piss and/or shit!” Anyway, here’s today’s Marvin.