Archive: Mary Worth

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Momma, 2/17/15

Momma has long been weirdly fascinated by parliamentary democracies like our neighbor to the north, which, I mean, so am I, so I can’t blame the strip for that. But this nonsense shall not stand. This Heritage Day business. First of all, in most of Canada it’s just called “Family Day,” and the whole thing only started in 1990, in Alberta, and has slowly spread to other provinces since. The holiday is called “Louis Riel Day” in Manitoba and “Islander Day” in Prince Edward Island; the only place it’s called “Heritage Day” is in Nova Scotia, and it was literally celebrated there yesterday for the very first time ever. Meanwhile, Presidents Day (or, as it’s more properly known as a Federal holiday, Washington’s Birthday), has been a U.S. holiday since 1879. So which ally is copying which, Behattèd Ladies Club Member? Hmmm?

Mary Worth, 2/17/15

Having pointedly refused to invite her own daughter to her wedding or even tell her about it, Hanna has decided to spring the news on Amy by demanding help moving into her new husband’s apartment. She is truly giving a master class in stone cold not giving a shit.

Six Chix, 2/17/15

These cows sure are going to miss that bull! He wasn’t the sharpest guy, but he was great at sex.

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Mary Worth, 2/14/15

Say what you will about Mary Worth — say, for instance, that it has committed the worst kind of epigraphic sins, which is throwing up some blurge you found online and just putting “Author Unknown” at the end of it, because if you’re going to use this quote torn so far out of context that you can’t even tell who wrote it, what even is the point of using a quote at all, and anyway about five minutes of Googling would connect the quote with reasonable certainty to Germaine de Staël’s 1806 novel Corinne … wait, what was I getting at? Oh, right, Mary Worth. It has its problems! But you have to respect the fact that this whole Hanna’s-failing-vision-unexpectedly-finds-her-a-love-connection plot has been carefully timed to present us with a delightful Valentine’s Day treat: a storybook wedding! I’m assuming your storybooks include a bored government functionary mumbling vows off of a piece of paper while failing to make eye contact with you, and a bookcase full of dusty municipal codes that nobody’s looked at in years.

B.C., 2/14/15

Meanwhile, over in B.C., Grog is going to … fuck a tumbleweed, I guess?

Hi and Lois, 2/14/15

Thank goodness Hi and Lois is here to show us what this day is really about: no-strings-attached sex between teenagers. Have a romantic weekend, everybody!

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B.C., 2/11/15

You know, when I first saw this strip, my immediate thought was “Gosh, I never really expected B.C. of all strips to go in for stomach-churning body-transformation horror.” But then, this is the strip that has an ostensibly human character who is little more than a lumpy, hair-encrusted spheroid fronted with a terrifyingly huge face and ringed with stubby protruding limbs, so maybe it shouldn’t be that surprising.

Mary Worth, 2/11/15

It’s true! Young people would probably wonder to themselves, “Should I wear a mint green suit to my wedding? What would people think?” Whereas once you’ve become a seasoned, experienced older gentleman like Sean, you know that you look fly as hell in that jacket, and fuck the haters.

Hi and Lois, 2/11/15

Lois has been scouring the fine print on banking brochures and has discovered that her bank offers an interest rate that returns a penny less per $10,000 per year than its competitors. She’s probably real fun at parties!