Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 6/9/05

We can only hope that when Fay’s car was spinning out control and her whole life was flashing before her eyes, she wasn’t forced to linger on this part: ordered by her suffocatingly codependent mother to stay indoors as much as possible and form no outside relationships, she resorts to making a friend of her very own out of scraps of cloth.

Here’s a fun Mary Worth game that we can all play: add “…when you’re drunk!” to anything Rita says to get a real insight into her thought processes. “What was hard to bear is sweet to remember … when you’re drunk!” So, so true.

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Mary Worth, 6/3/05

Watch out, Mary! See those rage lines radiating off of Rita’s shoulders and fists, and the painful rictus of anger twisting her face in panel one? She’s about to transform into some kind of Incredible Hulk-style superpowered destructive force of sulking, whining, and codependence! In all my Mary Worth-reading years, there’s been only one other character who’s evidenced this kind of limb-vibrating emotional instability:

Tommy at least had the drugs to blame. You can tell Mary is terrified of her new roommate because her normally impeccable grammar is slipping — normally she’d offer a patrician “Why is that, Rita?” rather than the teenybopper-style “Like, how come?” Unless she’s so freaked out that she’s babbling in some kind of fake-o how-kemo-sabe Indian dialect: “How come Rita into apartment with me? Me scared she break things!”

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Mary Worth, 5/27/05

This may be the moment that Mary Worth aficionados have been waiting for their whole lives: the day when Mary’s meddlin’ comes back to haunt her. No longer can she throw some meddle-bombs into other people’s lives and then retreat to the quiet, tastefully decorated sanctuary of her Charterstone digs; now she has to balance the joy of every act of interference against the possibility that her victim will show up at her door with all her life possessions, possibly drunk and wearing electric blue slacks.

This storyline is obviously going to bear close scrutiny, but for now my major comment is: check out the gams on Mary in panel one! R-r-r-o-w! Short skirts like that give Dr. Jeff the strength he needs to endure week-long, platitude-filled boat rides.