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Guys! Tonight, in LA, you have the amazing opportunity to come to The Internet Read Aloud, my beloved comedy show!

Why deny yourself a moment of joy in this depressing world! Here is the Facebook event!

And here is your comment of the week!

“I choose to believe the hobo isn’t licking the plate, but talking to it. ‘The steak was good, plate! Thank you for steak!’” –Cotton Candy Beard

Your runners up are also very funny!

“Marie is dead inside, which means she’s ready to go back to work for the Parker-Spencer-Drivers as God and nature intended.” –TheDiva

“African-American caricature to Native American caricature: ‘Racist you to the bottom!’” –Jenna

“In fairness, getting a famous person’s autograph minutes before doing them in is a sure way to drive up its value.” –Hergen

“Is it me or does Reeky look like he’s doing pretty well at the moment? He’s wearing a nice jumper and pink fuzzy slippers, his home looks clean, maybe even renovated, and he’s dealing with this situation calmly and reasonably because he’s done nothing wrong. Did he get a new job? Girlfriend? Inheritance? Why am I more interested in this than a one-eyed man plotting to commit flamethrower murder?” –Rosstifer

“As an experienced mercenary, is it really in your best interest to be standing face to face with the fairly unstable first time user of the loaded flamethrower you just lent him?” –OzMan

“What a twist! Well, I guess it’s not really that surprising, since ‘Gil Thorp Assistant’ and ‘Gil Thorp Criticizer’ seem to be two viable career choices in a town that has very few.” –pugfuggly

“He wants my job?! Not even I want my job!” –Ettorre

“Ah, you must be Estelle. I know what you’re thinking. But I won this cane from the King of Mercia after defeating his champion in single combat, and I keep the tie tucked in because I don’t want it to get caught in the prop of my seaplane. As for the hunch, well, I’m descended from a long line of hunchbacks, and I’m proud of it. So, we gettin’ it on or what? You’re not getting any younger.” –Voshkod

“Who needs necking when you have Earless Nightmare Child: The Animated Movie to entertain you?” –Joe Blevins

“True story: when my wife was single, one of her experiences with online dating was a guy who went into great detail about the adult circumcision that he had undergone. My point is, Estelle hasn’t even scratched the service of where these experiences are likely to take her next.” –GDBenz

“Like Chicago and New York, Santa Royale has its own unique pizza style, except Santa-Royale-style means you just pour a can of chunky tomato soup into a store-bought pie crust.” –Schroduck

“I’ll have a nice breakfast of nourishing proteins and fats, please! No good? Okay, then I’ll get a heaping bowl of pure carbs. Man, I can’t wait until the keto commenters get ahold of this comic.” –BigTed

“Licking the plate? No way. He would have wiped it off with his hat ‘for later’” –word-doctor

“The service industry can be so stressful! Ordering products in bulk and having them delivered to people’s rooms! It’s enough to make you want to kill! At least that would be something interesting.” –cheech wizard

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Tales of Magical Legalism: Litrachoor for the Irate: One reviewer says: “A fun read, but also a sly and vivid exploration of life in any office, legal or not. Some truths can only be told with fiction, and these stories use the fantastical to illuminate some of the darker corners of our seemingly mundane, work-a-day world. If HP Lovecraft and Jim Butcher had teamed up to write for The Office, they probably would have just come to fisticuffs, but these stories are better than anything they would managed to get down on paper.”
• Ghosts Are Assholes: James Kirst is a new author with a new novel entitled Ghosts Are Assholes, a different kind of ghost story, that he thinks you’ll love so why not read a free preview to see if you agree. Learn more about it on his site and while you’re there, why not check out one of his short stories too?

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Guys! One week from tonight, in LA, you need to come to The Internet Read Aloud, my beloved comedy show. Need to, I say, need to! Don’t miss it!

Also don’t miss this comment of the week! (How could you miss it, honestly? It’s right here!)

“‘That’s quite an array of men!‘ Mary said, frantically trying to think of a way to gently let her addled friend know that they were looking at an ad for a men’s hair salon.” –jroggs

Don’t miss these runners up either!

“Jeff is very insightful here. Marvin is 2-3 years old and experiencing severe speech delay, but he’d probably overcome it out of sheer spite just to embarrass his parents by yelling swear words in public.” –TheDiva

“In the final frame, Toby goes in for the kiss… and somehow it’s a CLEAN MISS! Strike three, swinging!” –Just John

“This would be a great time for Jannie to come crashing through the bedroom window, wielding a knife and screaming, ‘GIVE ME A B MINUS!’” –Joe Blevins

“Look, I know it’s MJ and not Dr. Strange or Doug Henning, but I still maintain hope that when she pulls the blanket off of Killgrave he’ll be replaced with a small flock of doves.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“So, anyone taking bets on down what new dark path this story is heading? I’m guessing Bull tries to commit suicide to spare his wife the agony of taking care of him in his final days, leaving behind a letter full of hilarious malapropisms.” –pugfuggly

“‘Does every president have to pass the cherry tree test?’ ‘Yes. If the American voters swallow a made-up anecdote that proves how honest and cool you are, you have plenty of chances of getting elected.’” –Ettore

“‘What about you, Les, have you given any thought to retiring?’ ‘Like I told the principal, I don’t care how many students signed that petition. If anything, it made me more determined to stay here, out of spite!’” –Horace Broon

“Mary will hopefully accumulate enough of Libby’s dander on her clothes to keep Jeff out of her apartment for several weeks.” –nescio

“Generally, applicants at Silverdaters have to go through a rigorous screening process to make sure they qualify. In this case she only had to prove her name is ‘Estelle.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘Every sentence ends with exclamation marks in this strip,’ the Phantom thinks. ‘I’m going to mix it up a little. How about starting with exclamation marks? !!Here we go…’” –Peanut Gallery

“Look at these entitled Millennials with their jobs that are so poorly paid they have to beg their coworkers for money to go out and enjoy themselves.” –Rosstifer

“The combination of drooping ceiling liner and no-headrest seats creates the optical illusion of a busted out windshield — making me think at first of the awful carnage just off-panel. ‘Hello, AAA? Me again. Route 6. Bring a shovel.’” –Blonde, Jane Blonde

“Like a Dickensian workhouse, Mr. Dithers does not allow his employees paid time off. Also, this young man wasn’t promoted as much as he grew up and could no longer fit into the crawl spaces where he and the other urchins were forced to carry the mail to other floors unseen by human eyes.” –Dread

“Mimi shouldn’t worry. After they’ve tucked into their gigantic basket of nachos with a side of brussels sprouts, she’s not going to need any deflector shield to keep Marty Moon away, if you know what I’m talking about. (I’m talking about the farting)” –Schroduck

“Chip has an REO Speedwagon t-shirt on, which is even sadder than the lava lamp filled with turds in the background.” –Rusty

“Is that plugger a capybara? Is this a preview for the ultimate crossover, Pluggers and Mark Trail? I’m crossing my slightly webbed feet AND my vestigial tail.” –Briane Pagel

“Perplexed by the ‘there goes the neighborhood‘ when Marty Moon has lived in Milford for as long as (if not longer than) any of the ladies in this strip. Perhaps Marty is only allowed above ground to do high school sportscasting and is otherwise confined to the sewers. Seeing him out and about in town proves that Milford law enforcement is getting a little too lax.” –Jenna

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Ghosts Are Assholes: James Kirst is a new author with a new novel entitled Ghosts Are Assholes, a different kind of ghost story, that he thinks you’ll love so why not read a free preview to see if you agree. Learn more about it on his site and while you’re there, why not check out one of his short stories too?

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Oh boy! The week’s top comment is here!

“Aw, I like the look on the judge’s face. ‘One star in the sky, you say? All right, I’ll allow it. But I’ll warn you, counsel … you’d better be going somewhere with this.’” –Dan

And the runners up are here too! Huzzah!

“Max is sitting at Buford’s table taking notes. Is … is he on Buford’s legal team? Does the New Animal Order allow for counsel separate from the prosecutorial team, and indeed separate from the investigators who build the legal case? Does animal law follow the French legal system, with its assumption of guilt on the part of the accused? There’s a reason Max gets strapped to so many experimental aircraft, is what I’m saying. He’s a terrible lawyer.” –pastordan

“Low’eezy was already pregnant when she married Snuffy and yet while they look middle aged they only have one infant son and a live-in nephew. There’s at least one tragic story here, probably several.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“It’s bad enough that Slylock is somehow both the lead detective and state prosecutor, but now he’s also testifying on witnesses’ behalf. One day Sly will realize he can just steal bikes and window pies himself and thus complete his monopoly on crime/law enforcement roles.” –jroggs

“‘Grandma still uses a landline and the postal service, but what’s really strange is that corners of her house meet at euclidian angles and her head doesn’t pop off of her body and crawl along the walls’ –Billy, saying too much to a child who can now never leave the Keane household.” –iagbegreg

“[chuckles to self] Those kids on the playground … how they laughed at my rigorous utilitarian and solitary training on the slide — even eschewing the corkscrew slide as it was unlikely to be used in an emergency. Well who’s laughing NOW?” –Foodar

“I’m thinking if you show up at practice with that haircut, I won’t let you in. I mean, Jesus, kid, do you even have a mirror at home?” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“That ‘whoa’ may have briefly fooled us into thinking he’s a real kid, but doing the Charleston after landing immediately disabused us of that notion.” –Jenna

“Rusty’s ‘Say you’re interested in the thing your dad does and the girl you like might send you a sample of it‘ gambit intrigues me, mostly because my dad was a nuclear engineer.” –matt w

“Is Toby gaslighting her husband? ‘You are those things … to me. Other people though think you’re old and repulsive so don’t even consider leaving this totally healthy marriage.’” –Escape Zeppelin

“‘I struggled with grading Jannie fairly.‘ ‘So her name’s Jannie Fairley? I never knew her last name.’ ‘No, what I meant was … yeah, yeah, her last name’s Fairley.’” –Pozzo

“Earlier: ‘Rusty is still just a stupid kid who reads comic books.’ Today: ‘I LOVE reading the funny pages.’ Mark is definitely a complex guy, containing multitudes.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys

“Blondie must play a dangerous game: enough food scent to sexually arouse her husband, not enough to awaken his obvious cannibal tendencies.” –Ettorre

“I can only imagine how disgusted Rex is when he looks around at his fellow passengers. Each year, the American Posture Association spends millions educating the public about the dangers of slouching — brochures, PSAs, robocalls — and still the message isn’t getting out there.” –Joe Blevins

“So…the plane they were on was so ramshackle that there’s no working radio equipment on it or other way to trace their location? I’m starting to think Mr. ‘I’m going to sue’ Hawaiian shirt guy is actually the most realistic and relatable character in this storyline.” –Her Father, John Darling

“No, really, Max. I’m desperate for a win, here! Rub this salve on your face to cause a reaction that looks like acne, and talk about Pogs and Furbies and whatever else kids are into these days” –JJ48

“The terrible empty Entity of which Dagwood is but a protrusion into our reality prefers that there be no witnesses to its ritualistic feeding.” –Dread

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Ghosts Are Assholes: James Kirst is a new author with a new novel entitled Ghosts Are Assholes, a different kind of ghost story, that he thinks you’ll love so why not read a free preview to see if you agree. Learn more about it on his site and while you’re there, why not check out one of his short stories too?

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!