Archive: metaposts

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YOU GUYS I KNOW I AM LATE WITH THE COMMENT OF THE WEEK, but hopefully you will still enjoy it!

“Of course Cayla was going to end up with some disease. I just never guessed it would be Stockholm Syndrome.” –chistery

And hopefully you will also enjoy these runners up!

You look like a cold drink on a hot day! By which I mean still enticing, no matter how weak and flavorless!” –BigTed

Kenny’s mom is drinking? And probably emotionally vulnerable? She’s single, right? How’s the caboose?” –Doctor Handsome

My childhood was a happy time. Then everything changed after Brown v Board of Education.” –Ranger

‘Why? What have you heard?’ ‘Well, Kenny, actually most of what I’ve been hearing for the last week is a nice, soothing, steady E-flat, ever since I had this tuning fork grafted onto my left hand. You should try it too, since your golf game is going to be pretty much garbage from now on out anyway, what with your Mom being a lush and all.'” –seismic-2

“Yes yes yes. You loved him. He loved you. It was simple innocent time. When do we get to the part about him dying tragically.” –Liam

“This week’s Hand-thing of the Week contest has been opened to the readership. Vote for your favorite: Organ Pipe Cactus (Gil, left); A Failed Salute to Aquaman (Gil, right); Trouble at the Sawmill (Kenny, left); The Unlucky Monkey Paw (Kenny, right). The winning hand-thing will be unveiled this Friday, in your nightmares.” –Walker of Dog

“Only the gazebo heard Les whine, and it sat there, quietly judging, and waiting.” –Voshkod

“My guess is the flying droplets are quite literal. Clearly Betty spits at Veronica through her incisors in disgust because of Veronica flaunting her new school accessories while Betty is forced to wear a truckstop waitress costume. Veronica should be happy that Betty didn’t punch her straight in the nose … flap?” –sporknpork

“After Gina’s Dad got whacked, Gina and her mother would often visit the Lincoln Memorial to reenact this, their final gathering as a family.” –Ned Ryerson

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Your comment of the week in a moment, but first! A very special old-timey Mark Trail, discovered at an estate sale by faithful reader Charterstoned!

Mark Trail, 10/8/1953

It’s topical because it features Johnny Mallotte, who Mark is about revisit in the great Bible Goose Band adventure. Apparently Johnny and Mark were adrift on an ice floe and have been driven mad with hunger, and are now going to feast on this seal (or, as they seem to have called them in the ’50s, this “animal”). Too bad, Mark! It’s still alive! The look on his face in panel three is priceless — he’s about ready to jump right into the icy water, polar-bear-style, to get that seal with his bare hands. Andy looks similarly alarmed, possibly because he knows where the men will turn for food if they can’t catch anything else.

And now … your comment of the week!

“Let’s not allow the nudity to distract us from the real shocking plot twist here: Lu Ann was thinking!” –Doctor Handsome

And your runners up! Very funny!

Funky Winkerbean can make even option contracts seem boring. Oh, wait. Meanwhile, Judge Parker can make even employment contracts involve cleavage.” –Carly

“If you’re wondering why Lu Ann is so heart-broken that no one has need for her lemonade anymore, I’d like to point out that A3G has never discussed how these three ladies have divided the rent. Perhaps, years ago, Tommie and Margo took pity on poor ol’ Lu Ann and let her have her space in the apartment in exchange for ‘lemonade services,’ which are slowly no longer required. (Please don’t google ‘apartment 3G lemonade services.’ It doesn’t lead to good things.)” –Guy Yedwab

“My first thought also was that the glass Lu Ann is holding was empty, but to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps its contents are just totally transparent, more so than even weak lemonade would be. In other words, I think Lu Ann has just invented waterade.” –Shrug

No thanks, Lu Ann. I have a meeting with Nina — we’re creating a Mills Scholarship Fund and if I drink that lemonade, something bad might happen that will thwart my plans. I might have to go to the bathroom at a crucial moment in the negotiations. I might get a piece of lemon pulp stuck between my front teeth and that could blow the whole deal. Sorry, Lu Ann. Having a glass of lemonade right now is too risky.” –charterstoned

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, if this is leading up to LuAnn deciding to get married and have a baby just because nobody wants her stupid lemonade, that will be totally — well, actually a pretty believable development based on LuAnn’s character.” –Violet

“I grew up in NYC and can say with absolute certainty that NO ONE in NYC would have curtains like that. They’ve been illegal since the 70s.” –SF_Reader

“Even a completely nude Lu Ann, floating dreamily in a bath, is so boring that the most easily offended comics reader will forget why they started writing their latest angry letter to the editor.” –Ed Dravecky

Meanwhile, in Apartment 2-G water is pouring through the bathroom ceiling.” –Walker of Dog

Also, too long to reproduce here but worthy of your attention are Kristian’s “Have You now a Strategy to Woo the Dashing Derek?” and Cloudbuster’s vision of Mark’s interview with the mysterious bird bander.

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Ha ha, you know how sometimes you’re just having a relaxing Friday evening with your wife, and then you up and forget to put the comments of the week on your blog? It could happen to you! Here’s the top comment:

“Remember the good old days when a guy would teach a girl how to play golf so he could hold her as she practiced her follow-through? Now it’s all ‘you record me’ and ‘I’ll record you.’ Kids: Missing the point since 2008.” –BigTed

And here are the also hilarious runners up:

“Was Mary wearing that kicky lace vest all week, or are her undergarments creeping to the outside of her clothes, in order to make an escape?” –Patrick

“Throughout this whole whinefest, Gina keeps her order pad poised for action. Is this so the other customers will think she’s just taking the longest order ever? ‘Yes dear, I’ll have a turkey sandwich … with tomatoes … and lettuce. The lettuce should be under the turkey. I suppose cheese would be good, too. Not too strong a cheese, perhaps white American. That should be a square so it won’t hang off the sides of the sandwich. The cheese should be between the tomatoes. For bread, I will have … um … let me see … a white bread but not too spongy a bread because I have dentures. I assume a pickle comes with that…'” –Ellie

“I like to read this strip as if it’s set in Hootin’ Holler. ‘Shore ya don’ wanna hang around a few more days?’ ‘I’d like ta jedge, but I should git back.'” –Dood

“I doubt he’s buttering toast. Probably he’s scraping the gold ingots the waiter brought him as a gift from Table 5, to make sure it’s not gilded lead.” –Spunde

“Local Dominatrix Lets ‘Cat’ Out Of ‘Bag’; Death Toll At 132 And Rising” –Walker of Dog

“‘That is interesting!’ says Doc in the middle panel of Mark Trail. The weird emphasis must mark his growing impatience with Mark yammering around about golden bands while a perfectly delicious goose is sitting right there. ‘You should take that and get it analyzed! I’ll stay here and pre-heat the oven!’” –Lorne

“Look, Les, this is a boilerplate contract. Sign it or not. It’s not worth my time to go to the lawyers and rewrite the parts you don’t think apply to you. Been nice working with you. BTW, the statement ‘been nice working with you’ was standard boilerplate agent talk. It’s been a real pain in the ass. Good riddance, asshole.” –Mark B.

“We have concluded that it is just as well that Mr. Bolle refuses to show anyone below the shoulders. We do not want to know that Miss Thompson’s hideous kelly-green polo shirt is tucked into a pair of belted madras-plaid bermuda shorts.” –Fashion Police

“I hope this A3G plot twist uses the same artistic strategy it did with the piano storyline in November. ‘Why, there’s a piano in the Mills Gallery! …And Lady Gaga is playing it! What strange clothes she is wearing!’ Then we cut to her chiseled, blond, suit-wearing male manager for the next eight weeks.” –Shmebbber

“I never got until today that ‘Ann Eiffel’ was supposed to be a pun. Also that she’s a horrible person, as shown by her telling an employee to actually do his job instead of standing there talking to his girlfriend.” –UnclGhost

“On a completely different note, I’ve had this fancy for awhile where I like imagining Mark Trail as played by Tom Hanks. There’s something hilarious to me about the concept of Tom Hanks yelling all his thoughts aloud. Picture it as you read the above strip. ‘THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE, A GOLD BIRD BAND … GENESIS 1:20, A PASSAGE FROM THE BIBLE.’ Note also what he’s saying here makes minimal sense.” –Carly

“I like that the Mark Trail characters who are not on the set can just walk over and grab some lunch at Santa Royale diner during their down time. This guy could have stayed longer to chat up Waitress Sad-Is-Sexy, but he’s got twenty minutes to report for work as an unscrupulous land developer who emotionally abuses his stacked wife.” –Edgy DC

“Is Lu Ann really allowed to invoke a change in the topic of conversation, particularly when Margo has the floor (who even knew Lu Ann was in the … um … whatever vague room they’re in with a lamp and a picture frame and some gauzy curtains and a refrigerator)? Can somebody check the A3G bylaws?” –Ned Ryerson

“I like to think that the pervert in Mary Worth overheard their conversation about the waitress’ dead mother and is now wearing mom jeans in an attempt to burrow his way into her subconscious (and her pants).” –Roto13

“Ok, just to be clear, this is a strip about grown women living together in New York, right? So why does the dialogue sound like it belongs in a strip about three maladjusted girls in an orphanage for dowdy teens?” –pugfuggly

“I guess the swarthy pseudo-Hi is supposed to feel like a real dope for hitting on a married woman, but how the hell was he supposed to know? Lois doesn’t even have a ring finger.” –Doctor Handsome

Plus this comment Effluvius Erratus is too long to feature here but, hilariously combining as it does several layers of source material, is definitely worth your attention!

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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