Archive: metaposts

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Two items of potential interest to you in a special mid-week metapost! First comes this AMAZING thing from faithful reader Jon. Did you know that one of the writers of the comic strip Six Chix is Margaret Shulock, who also writes Apartment 3-G? Also, did you know that there was a Six Chix blog? Well, both of these things are true, and Shulock last week put up a blog entry detailing how an installment of Apartment 3-G gets written. It just might blow your mind. Also, she says she needs info on A3G history before the ’90s, so get crackin’, folks!

Also! In non-comics-related news, I’m writing another one of my tech pieces, this time about IT “pet projects.” If you work in tech, have you been forced to toil on dumb pet projects on your bosses’ whim? If you want to share your funny or sad stories, send me a note at bio at jfruh dot com. I will anonymize to keep you out of trouble!

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I have just one hilarious item for you before I get to the COTW: Remember how I told you about Marty Moon’s Twitter feed? Well, if you enjoy that, you’ll probably also like Margo Magee’s.

And now … your comment of the week!

“‘Thanks to both of you, things turned out the way they did.’ Whoa! Better brush up your vagueness skillz, Herb and Jamaal — there’s a new something or other in whatever place this is!” –Hogan

And your runners-up:

“I think the Mary Worth palate consists of perhaps nine shades, but cantaloupe orange is undoubtedly the reigning champion.” –Andrew Leal

“I congratulate Mark Trail for finding the least erotic, most disturbing opening dialog of a gay porno ever. (‘I would like you to check into something.’ ‘Is it … serious?’ ‘It may be.’)” –Alan’s Addiction

Thanks to both of you things turned out the way they did — we’re still stuck with the creepy, haunted ventriloquist’s dummy.” –PeteMoss

Mary’s speculative regard of Adrian could not more unequivocally telegraph the sentiment, ‘Vulnerable, eh? (sinister chuckle)’ had the artist been working tirelessly for hours or even days to achieve that precise effect.” –Violet

“Ah, now I get it. Every date with Adrian, no matter how casual, is treated like she’s going to the prom. The prom on The Brady Bunch.” –mojo

“And the last words ever heard at that Milford party were: ‘Is that a bottle of vodka or a fire extinguisher?’ ‘There’s only one way to find out!'” –BigTed

“We are always gratified to see a gentleman wearing a suit and tie when calling on a lady. Except when the suit is orange. Santa Royale may be in California, but that is an insufficient excuse.” –Fashion Police

“What the hell is Tracy doing with his hand in the second panel? Is he raising it in a Hitler-style over-the-shoulder salute? Because that would be … completely unsurprising.” –Howlin’ Wolf

Matters seem to be in hand, sergeant. Horrible, shriveled, clenched little hand.” –It’s time to pay the price

“Apparently Pluggers is shifting its focus from impoverished seniors to the exciting world of amputation fetishism. Your move, Crankshaft.” –Master Mahan

“‘You wanted to see me, Coach?’ ‘Yes, I heard some story that you had deliberately carved a vertical line down your face but, I knew they must be jokin… What the fuck?!‘” –EdgyDC

“Look, if child pornography charges are what it takes to get Marvin out of the newspapers, I’m willing to support this storyline 100%.” –150

“Also, I object to any comparison of the Lockhorns to Crankshaft. Each Lockhorns is a single-panel Raymond Carver short story — austere and clipped, full of blank space and blanker expressions reinforcing the empty blankness of bourgeois marriage in post-industrial society. Crankshaft on the other hand is more like Updike’s Rabbit tetralogy, a seemingly never-ending parade of increasingly unlikeable characters, but without Updike’s sense of humanity. Oh, and without the ‘protagonist’ finally having a massive coronary and dropping dead, alone and abandoned on the street.” –Comrade Denny

“I want to believe Marvin was wiped and cleaned in the video, that he hadn’t just got out of the nappy, that he wasn’t leaving an unspeakable, unthinkable trail behind him. But in my heart I know it’s Marvin, and human waste is what holds the comic together. Excrement for bricks, urine for mortar.” –Lolsworth

“That first panel of Mary Worth is like an advertisement for Fantastic Sams House of Horrible Haircuts. It’s where you go for styles that were popular in the 1950s and NEVER.” –Zooby

“Next Sunday, the parson will move on to harder theodical problems, such as why bad likker turns a feller blind.” –Albert Camus

Mary Worth: I only wish I were an English professor with a need to illustrate the phrase ‘heavy-handedness’ in a creative writing course.” –bad wolf

“Personally, I’m hoping Mary Worth takes a cue from Funky Winkerbean, and the next storyline will be about the disembodied spirit of Scott’s dad peeping on his son’s dates with Adrian and possibly offering advice and commentary along the way. ‘That’s right, son! End the date with a chaste peck on the cheek and a handshake. Limp and clammy, just the way I like it!'” –Joe Blevins

“Okay, now wait… Since it was all a dream, does this mean that Electro didn’t really eat that sandwich? I’m going to have to write in to newspaper Spider-Man now. How does one do that, exactly?” –Larry McAwful

“If the Lord’s Plan involves trying to get everyone in Hootin’ Holler to die of food poisoning after eating off their filthy floors, I may have to become a man of faith myself!” –Rhekarid

“You guessed it, true believer! We’ve decided to bow to your letters and let Peter Parker lounge in a bed for the duration of a Sunday strip. Fucking exciting, ain’t it?” –survivor

“So, wait, hold on. Rewind a few weeks and we find that the newspaper Spider Man has reworked itself similar to the mainstream comics. Both audiences are outraged, but the newspaper one corrects itself. This means that … the newspaper-reading audience that has kept Family Circus alive for decades is, in fact, more powerful than all the world’s comic nerds? Man, that’s gotta hit the comic nerds something rough.” –Black Drazon

“Given how badly Marvel has overblown the character of Wolverine over the last 20 years I absolutely cannot wait to see Stan Lee put him in a cubicle eating a sandwich.” –Jeff

“Learn from this experience, Dolly: flirt shamelessly with broken, middle-aged men and you will never pay full price for anything.” –NoahSnark

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Your COTW is coming momentarily, but I have several items to share with you first — and a couple of them are about ME! First: do many of you use the Twitter? After much badgering, I, too have begun to use the Twitter! I am jfruh in those parts, and you may now follow me there for fun times! I will let you know when this blog updates, will clue you in on writing of mine that appears elsewhere, and will give you 140-character glimpses into my inner life.

But what if you wanted to find out about all that stuff in increments longer than 140 characters? Well, my friends, then you’d have to start reading my blog, the Josh Fruhlinger Experience. I’ve been thinking for a while about starting a blog of my very own — because while I am a professional blogger, I do try to keep the Comics Curmudgeon focused more or less on comics-related curmudgeonry. The Josh Fruhlinger Experience will serve as the place where I do all the things that most people do with their blogs — enthuse about local and national entertainment, blather half-informed about politics, post pictures of my cat, etc. I’ll also have news about other projects and events that I’m involved in; half the point of doing this new blog is to give me an incentive to come up with exciting events and projects to blog about. I can’t promise it’ll be updated every day, so you’ll want to subscribe to the RSS feed, obviously. And, uh, I’ll probably be linking to the more interesting bits on Twitter. And I’ll probably still post random non-comics-related stuff here too, although I might be more likely to just give you pointers to the other blog.

Also! There are things you should know about that are not wholly me-related! First of all, I have been meaning to alert you to the fact that there is now a My Cage Cafepress store, since I know many of you enjoy this comic (whose writer Ed Power is an occasional commentor here).

And! Faithful reader Highway pointed me to the hilarious Depression Funnies, from Ruben Bolling. Learn how Mark Trail will be getting through the hard economic times!

In addition! The LA Times insists on being awesome by continuing to post classic comics pages from years past. They just put up one from 1959, which contained this amazing Judge Parker, where we learn that college has transformed future judge Randy into a colossal tool:

And, finally: you might recall that a throwaway joke I made about Hi and Lois became a fantastic movie treatment, They Buried Beethoven Alive!, put together by faithful readers Captain Thunder and Comrade Denny in the comments. Faithful reader John Wood collected their work in one easy-to-read Google Docs document, making him a true American hero.

And now, without further ado … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Oddly enough, I sympathize with Crankshaft’s daughter. I also find stoned people annoying.” –J

And your runners-up! Very funny!

“I can’t think of anything as soul crushing as being nominated for the Westview High School Hall of Fame. I wonder, does the induction ceremony end with everyone swallowing a cyanide capsule?” –JHPants

“I think the Crankshaft mom is horrified that her daughter isn’t showing ‘anything’; hence, her last dreams of showing off her daughter’s prime young body to the highest social class she’ll ever socialize with (high school grads) will be shot, leaving her destined to a more typical Crankshaftian lifestyle.” –pccmdoc

“You should judge Mary Worth by her having chosen to dress like an undertaker for her volunteer job at the hospital.” –gnome de blog

“I have two theories about the blue-sheeted lump in the Room Beyond. It could be Ted, himself, once a con artist, now a patient at Mountview Hospital where he lingers near death after he is injured in a prison yard shanking at the Santa Royale Center for Attitude Adjustment. In this case, the plot will involve Adrian’s shock at recognizing her new patient and her sudden realization that she loves Ted still, in spite of all his faults. On the other hand, it could be that the Room Beyond is really the cafeteria and the blue lump is just an industrial quantity of the type of amorphous foodstuffs we’re so used to seeing in Mary Worth.” –Charterstoned

“The Morgans spend their time alone in the room with their legs crossed. Geez, no wonder these two always act frustrated. They don’t even know where or how to begin.” –True Fable

“Graduation Day in Funky Winkerbean would find the boys wearing hospital gowns and the girls wearing burial shrouds.” –Perky Bird

“In a pitiful display of Stockholm Syndrome, Margo’s assistant has tragically tried to duplicate her oppressor/employer’s appearance but has failed miserably and instead looks like the abandoned offspring of Moe Howard and Marcie from Peanuts.” –Joe Blevins

“Dinner and a movie for under 20 bucks? Where did Beetle and Miss Buxley go on their date? 1973?” –Patrick

We’ll see who’s about to die … when I disturb the feng shui of this Hammacher Schlemmer Desktop Executive Zen Garden by raking all the patterns out of the sand!” –Holy Prepuce

“I dunno, I think Detective Sherbertblazer would be a good match for Adrian. The fact that he asked her out while conducting an investigation into her recently-arrested fiance without considering the emotional or professional implications indicates that his complete lack of common sense is equal to her own.” –TheDiva

“I’m just creeped out by Peter greeting Aunt May with ‘Hi pretty lady.’ I like to think she responds with the grammatically awkward and unnatural ‘Did you sleep here also last night?’ because it makes her a little uncomfortable as well, and not because she thinks that’s an acceptable way to speak English.” –Canaduck

“If Adrian chose that haircut, Adrian cannot be allowed to choose a life mate.” –Cranky

“The point is, when you’re a dead-eyed ancillary character in Mary Worth with hair like an ink helmet clinging mercilessly to your skull, you’re probably going to need a way to find exceptionally desperate guys if you’re ever going to get any action at all. So yeah, why not let your dad scare off all the normal, sane men before you waste your time on them?” –Trilobite

“I have spent some time in hospitals and I have to say that if I had been wheeled back to my room after some horrendous procedure to discover Mary Worth and some strange — ‘strange’ meaning ‘batshit nuts’ — doctor carrying on a prayer revival next to my bed, I wouldn’t have looked nearly as chipper as that poor sap in the wheelchair.” –Farley’s Revenge

I’d hate to miss the fun … but since this is Judge Parker, I guess there’s not a whole lot of danger of that.” –Pozzo

“Don’t forget, Ces: when Sal is finally committed, Ted will be free to pursue Aria. Or become an eccentric shut-in who collects original Go-bots, including the rare South American releases. Thankfully, from what we know about Aria, these two fates are not mutually exclusive.” –Master Softheart

“This is the second or third day that Judge Parker has not featured attractive, scantily clad women, and without them, the strip has lost all of its appeal. It’s just a bunch of upper-class jerks (with porn star names) talking about their next lucrative contract, or their next pointless purchase; it’s essentially the illustrated version of The Wall Street Journal. Which means that, at its finest (with scantily clad women), Judge Parker is really just The Wall Street Journal Swimsuit Edition.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Dr. Jeff sure is suspicious of the detective who, after all, was kind enough to save his daughter from marrying a grifter. Could it be he’s worried that the good detective will deduce that Dr. Corey’s been prescribing himself ever-increasing amounts chlorpromazine and other powerful psychotropic drugs to deal with the self-loathing and despair he feels for dating Mary Worth? It’s not much of a deduction, though. More of a foregone conclusion.” –Comrade Denny

“Assuming the giant midpanel white space in Blondie is deliberate and not an insult to panel composition, the joke is obviously that in the first two panels Dagwood was trying and failing to smash through the walls à la Kool-Aid Man.” –Dragon of Life

“Also, I think Gabriella is Generic, not Hispanic. So ‘uno momento’, and for that matter, ‘uno memento’, are perfectly grammatical.” –Uncle Lumpy

Big thanks go to those who put some cash into my tip jar! And thanks must also go to my advertisers:

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