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No fuss, no muss this week: just your comment of the week.

“I know we all get to that point with Pluggers where we think, ‘These man-beasts are based on real people, which is so sad it’s almost unbearable.’ I just wanted to let everyone know, I got there today. And when I did, I had myself a little giggle at the ‘bear’ pun I made in my head. Unbearable … haha. Then I got sadded out again.” –Maggie

And your runners up as well! Very funny!

“[Crankshaft says something.] [Somebody asks him a question about it.] [Crankshaft makes a weak pun-like statement.] Oh, I forgot to say: SPOILER FOR CRANKSHAFT.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“The only way this could be more deflating is if Margo suddenly developed the capacity to love.” –Nekrotzar

“Sam was shocked and surprised for so long I was beginning to get worried. I’m glad to see him back at the top of his game. Whichever game it is that requires him to be a smug dick.” –Darkefang

“I would totally read the Mark Trail spinoff series ‘Ranger Buzz Gets Laid,’ in which Ranger Buzz travels to remote locations that are always fortuitously populated by young, attractive single ladies. He introduces himself as the improbably named ‘Ranger Buzz,’ they are inevitably smitten, and then they do it. While the local woodland creatures watch.” –Revenge of Chesnut

“I eagerly anticipate the end of this Mary Worth storyline, where ‘Bonnie’ turns out to be Wilbur Weston in drag, and ‘Mary Worth’ turns out to be David Bowie.” –Steve S

“Wow, that’s a lot of text for a Pluggers comic. I wonder if their readership made it all the way through.” –JD

“When you’re a plugger, Big Mouth Billy Bass is apparently a bedroom aide.” –BowToTheBard

“For Margo, guns are as common as neckerchiefs in whatever hell hole Lu Ann claims to be from.” –skullcrusherjones

“This is actually a reworking of the original submission, as ‘Pluggers think Ice-T is that cold tea beverage that you drink, with ice, and not that rap guy/TV sex crimes investigator’ was deemed too clunky even by Pluggers standards.” –Violet

“Josh, do not fear the hammer. Fear the hammer handle. Obviously, we have not witnessed the same porn movies.” –Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™

“Jeffy should respond to this disappointment like he does all disappointments, by shocking his mother with nudity.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I too read Tiffany’s line in panel 2 as referring pretty straightforwardly to a vibrator. Then I realized that that would have been a reasonably snappy sarcastic response to Gunther’s creepy, vaguely insulting question, and was therefore unlikely to have appeared in a Luann strip.” –perchingpath

“So the Random Luann Romance Generator finally threw out Gunther and Tiffany. And I keep waiting for it to be Bernice and Delta’s turn.” –yellojkt

“On the (reasonably lengthy) list of things that high school boys absolutely do not say, ‘I think if we talk about our issues, we’ll both feel better’ constitutes at least one in every three of them.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Hey waitaminute, Dave: Lily’s lost a very big part of her retirement savings? Must be one helluva prenup.” –Uncle Lumpy

“That second panel of the Phantom is fantastic. The glum but grim face of the Phantom as the narration box practically screams the word DEAD at him, while he stands just outside his creepy skull cave taking a sad, forlorn leak. ‘I will avenge you, Diana, after I’m finished draining the PYTHON.'” –Taquelli

“Frankly, I love Falk’s transformation in the third panel. He just went from erudite professor to bad-ass: he sheds the extra-lame ‘book’, adds a piercing glare, aqua bowler hat, menacing skull beating-stick, and a real zebra-skin coat draped over his right arm. Aww yeah, it’s Pimp time, bitches.” –Margaret

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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Your COTW in a moment, but first: surely you recall this charming COTW runner up from last week:

“Someone really ought to paint panel 1 of Bobbie and Margo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They can just paint over whatever’s there now.” –monsieurjohn

Well, faithful reader Brenda Starr Destroyer made that happen. Impressed?

And now, on to the business of the day — the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“That look on Sam’s face could be ‘Oh, that’s the guy who’s been nailing my little girl,’ but I prefer to think it’s, ‘A cart? And here I’ve always carried my baggage like a schmo.'” –gleeb

And your funny runners up:

“Don’t listen to her Bobbie! You put that gun down, she will swallow you whole! Like a snake!” –Rantingdude

“Clearly, Billy has decided to start a sandwich collection, and is disappointed to receive one he already has. It’s just like Pokemon cards, only his parents don’t think bread is the work of Satan.” –Andrusi

“The Magee household must have a hell of a thing to witness back in the day since two members of the family ask, ‘What’s going on?’ instead of ‘What’s with the gun?'” –skullcrusherjones

“Billy requires two sandwiches because of the extra stomach in his head.” –Rhekarid

“I love the POV of Gil Thorp’s panel 3. Now we know what the world looks like to Kaz’s left forearm! Hopefully they remember to turn the KazKam off before he hits the men’s room to drain all those lite beers.” –Krazy Kat

“With regard to ‘stepmother,’ I believe the term you’re looking for is ‘evil stepmother.'” –MKH, on the proper description for Bobbie’s relationship to Margo

“It is definitely a mistake to think that Ziggy has ever been within a mile of anything hip enough to be in UrbanDictionary. He’s referring to jacks, which he plays, like the game of life, badly and alone.” –MsMolly

“This is just a rerun of a strip from the 80s, with ‘iTunes’ in place of ‘Pac Man Fever’. And that was just a rerun of a strip from the 60s, with ‘Pac Man Fever’ in place of ‘chlamydia’.” —Chyron HR

“Last time we saw Mark he was in the lake with an overturned canoe after the hairy dudes took a shot at him. Now he is dry, with perfect hair and immaculately ironed clothes. Just more proof Mark is actually made out of plastic. You can also see this because his lips never move. Poor Cherry, I think she thought being married to a tall plastic pillar would be more fun.” –nerowolfgal

“Wow, I never noticed that poor Puddles never made it out of the old Evans drawing style. Puddles is some sort of sad, flabbily drawn, vestigial creature. Whoa … I felt a moment of compassion for him until I remembered that whole Puddles-centric Christmas adventure, where Puddles had thought balloons for what seemed like weeks on end, and romanced some sort of poodley girl dog, and ended up hangin’ with Santa. Fuck you, Puddles.” –Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed

“Are there actually pluggers in Eugene, Oregon? Or is this ‘Glen Wolfram’ a U of O elitist who said to himself, ‘I dunno, Pluggers something something overeating. Hey, a writing credit’s a writing credit.'” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The New York Campaign for Cruelty-free Food hung those banners, and ‘Free Pizza!’ is an imperative sentence, calling on the good people of New York to line up, march into Montoni’s, and take action in the name of good pizza. Each misbegotten crime against gastronomy, secured in a well-insulated pizza box, is quietly carried out to the dumpster and compassionately euthanized. Inside the crime scene, or ‘restaurant’, each rescuer is permitted to punch Funky or Les in the face.” –Walker of Dog

“The safeword is ‘Rosebud’ because it’s the last thing you’ll say before you die.” –The TJ

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• Pet the kitty!: Birthday cards, graduation cards, cards for every day; mugs, t-shirts, and assorted nerd schwag. LABKITTY: Stuff for Smart Cats! (One of the creative minds behind this site is faithful reader SmartPeopleOnIce — be sure to let him and his fellow LabKitty designers know what you think on the site feedback page!)
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To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot — and how you could be the launch advertiser for our new RSS feed sponsorship — click here.

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Your COTW coming momentarily, but first: I have been utterly remiss in not linking to faithful reader yellojkt’s annual March Madness-themed comics smackdown! The theme this year is the “National Crappy Comics Copy Cats”, and voting is still open for Calvin Clones, Faux Far Sides, and Doonesbury Dopplegangers. Vote early, vote often!

Also: a plea to elitist iPad users! Are you reading this site on an elitist iPad? 29 of you were yesterday, according to Google Analytics! Anyway, I’d love to hear your impressions on what the site looked like and how it worked on this awesome and terrible new device, so please shoot me an email at bio@jfruh.com, with screenshots, if you can!

And now: your comment of the week!

“‘If you ever need a sympathetic ear’ Mary says, mocking a woman who clearly has no ears, sympathetic or otherwise.” –bunivasal

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Abbey: ‘That’s right. Jules will be sleeping where he’s least likely to have sex with anyone: next to Sam. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an escort to hire.'” –Black Drazon

“I’m intrigued to learn that Sam is a hipster doofus, who may blog about vintage WASP clothing.” –Rusty

“That is the saddest seder ever. And which one of the plagues is ‘Mary Meddles Your Ass’?” –Gabacho

“Because Luann just wouldn’t be Luann without periodic public discussion of teenage girls’ underwear.” –commodorejohn

“What with the problematic real estate market and all, Lois has had to make ends meet by doing a smear job on librarians. Later, in some back alley, an operative from Amazon.com will give her a wad of unmarked bills.” –Jym

“Mary clutches the steaming baking dish in front of her as she talks, as if to entice them to divulge their personal business to her with the promise of its gooey, tan-hued blandness. ‘Just think,’ she whispers, holding it tantalizingly close, and yet just out of their reach, ‘This reconstituted potato-based food substance could be yours … if you tell me everything.'” –Gap-Toothed Starey “HOOOO” Guy

“Dear Rex Morgan Production Team: Sometimes your artwork is a little awkward, but dang how do you manage to peg us SK8RBOYZ so accurately? ’Cause I know there’s nothing I’d rather do than travel from place to place doing pointless manual labour for The Man so’s I can pay back loans from my chick and enjoy a precious Sunday afternoon with my homies stylin’ down the staircase railings over at the Art Museum. It’s like you are inside my mind! Yours truly, Youth With Unbelievable Nickname.” –Mooncattie

“Mary is pointing towards the calendar in order to show Bonnie that, if you wait long enough, all trends come back into style. Specifically, the trend of hot-pink geometrically-patterned curtains next to walls that are painted matte black.” –Patrick

“I think Bobbie is going to shoot Margo, and we’ll have a long-drawn out deathbed scene with rib-tickling histrionics from all the principals until Margo drinks someone’s blood — maybe Tommie’s, since she is probably a virgin — and revives.” –The Divine O’F

“Y’know, putting a shirt or vest on your fursuit just emphasizes its pantslessness.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“I’m hoping that someone in A3G gets shot so we can have another round of everyone being surprised that Tommie is working in a hospital.” –Andy L

“Notice how Mark is trying to throw off the Parker Brothers by pointing to the tree: ‘No, leave me, it’s the tree you want!'” –Digger

“Say what you will about this Manley, but that last panel guy’s face takes up an area about 0.75 cm square on my monitor, yet spells out ‘Nice Ass!’ as clearly as if it were the title page of a Reader’s Digest Special Plugger-Friendly Large Print edition (of a book titled Nice Ass!, presumably, which seems a little unlikely now that I think about it, but I’ll let it go).” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“‘And what purpose will that serve? You think such I can be felled by your puny bullets? Haha…ahah…AHAHAHAHAHA.’ Silly Roberta, everyone knows that Margo can only be defeated by the poisonous nectar of human kindness.” –DialMforMerger

“Someone really ought to paint panel 1 of Bobbie and Margo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. They can just paint over whatever’s there now.” –monsieurjohn

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Killing Edge: The disappearance of a young swimsuit model ranks low on the cops’s priority list. Then the ghost of the model appears, asking for help. Don’t miss the latest gripping, haunting, harrowing ghost story from a master storyteller!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot — and how you could be the launch advertiser for our new RSS feed sponsorship — click here.